Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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How I almost ruined my pretty panties

I had an appointment today for an ultrasound.  It was scheduled for 12:30.  I quickly ate lunch and realized I had to pee.  Since the ultrasound was for girl related things I knew it was best not to pee until I found out if they needed a full bladder. 

Even though I knew no one there would see them, I made sure when I got ready that morning to wear some pretty panties, just in case!  I have the exact ones above on...and I may  not be that skinny but they still look that cute!  If nothing else, wearing pretty panties made me feel better about knowing I was about to have that wand crammed up inside me for the ultrasound.

I arrived at the hospital at 12:20.  The lady at the front of radiology said that she would put my name in the computer, someone would call me back to register me and then at 1:00 I would have my ultrasound.

WHAT?

I asked her why so late, since I had left my mom at work with Codi and Dylan I knew time was of the essence.  The lady told me that radiology was at lunch until 1:00 and she had no idea why I had been scheduled.  I asked if I needed a full bladder, she looked at my chart and said YUP. I grumbled and sat down.  I'm sitting there playing solitaire on my phone when I hear the ladies behind the counter mumbling something about their computers being down.  I started tapping my foot to take my mind off the fact that I had to pee.  I hear one lady say that her computer works, and she called my name and I was thrilled that I didn't have to wait.  She puts in all of my information, we make small talk and my whole body starts to shake from how bad I have to pee.  Just to be sure I ask this lady if I had to have a full bladder.  YES! 

FUCK! 

I don't know if I can make it.  I tell the lady it is so good I'm not pregnant right now or I would be losing my shit.  She just laughed and laughed.  Then she says, "your insurance is declined."

?????

The lady says, "I'll try it a different way and see what happens."

DECLINED!

Oh my fucking God I have to piss and this lady is fucking around with insurance shit.  She told me that she would just figure out the insurance later, most likely this was happening because the hospital was having server problems.  She smiles and says, okay just have to push this and they will come get you.

I look at my watch (okay really my phone because who wears watches anymore right) and see that it is 12:45 woohoo early! 

.......

 

.......

The lady is staring at her computer so I have no choice but to just stare at her.  All the sudden she says, "my computer froze." 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The last working computer in the place just crashed.  So she hard shuts it down, puts in a call to the IT department and starts fucking around at her computer.  At this point, I look at her and say,

"I have to pee so bad it hurts, are you sure I need a full bladder?" 

"I'm sorry it should only be another minute if not I'll just force you through."

The IT guys ask her a bunch of questions, she hangs up, pushes some buttons and then informs me that she will have to manually enter me in.  Then she says the most shocking thing off all.

"DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO DO A MANUAL PROCESSING?"

Fuck me.  All three ladies sit there lost, and instead of looking dumb in front of the patients they go back in a room, fiddle around for a while and come out with stacks of paper.  I nearly started crying seeing the stack.  I cross my legs, sit at an angle and do what ever I can not to piss myself.  All I kept thinking was, I'm going to pee in my pretty panties.

Finally after what seemed like 5 hours I was called back for my ultrasound.  I walked very very slowly so I didn't pee.  The ultrasound tech looked at me and said,

"Now honey I need to make sure your bladder is empty, we can't have a full bladder for this ultrasound."

 


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Feb. 12, 2009

Comments

Feb. 12 2009
Sabrina said…
And then I would have peed on their floor.
Feb. 12 2009
Multi-tasking Mama said…
Hilarious!!! I don't have any pretty panties so I can basically pee myself as much as I want.
Feb. 13 2009
mrs. cullen said…
those chonies are hot. i am picturing you eating brownies in them right now!
Feb. 13 2009
Just Jiff said…
I would totally go pee in a cup and dump it on those registration girls. Seriously.
Feb. 13 2009
Someone Being Me said…
That is just ridiculous. My last doctor did not require a full bladder for ultrasounds with baby #1 but my current one does for baby #2. I don't get it. Plus my current doctor wants you to not pee for 2 hours before the test and drink 40 oz of fluid. Yeah, right. Like any pregnant woman is going to go through that sadistic torture. I would not pee for like an hour before the test and drink a bottle to a bottle and a half of water and my bladder was always plenty full for them to see everything. I swear they just like to watch people squirm.
Feb. 13 2009
Olive Oyl said…
I am DIEING. That is so funny. I have never had to have a full bladder for any of my ultrasounds, but I have heard so many people say they have had to. I have, however, been kept in that little room for so long that I had to waddle my 9-month prego naked butt in that little robe down the hall and into the next office area to go potty. NOT pleasant.
Feb. 14 2009
Christy said…
OH MY GOD! I would have killed somebody. Poor Shannon.
Feb. 14 2009
Mrs. F said…
Those are some reallllllllly pretty panties. I would have been pissed (heh, literally) if I were you...
Aug. 10 2012
Total fucking idiot said…
Once I was in the kind of same situation you were in except it wasn't an ultrasound. Of course, with my luck, I was wearing this like, $70 pair of super cute panties and I HAD to pee. So I peed. A little. I was really close to pissing myself too much but luckily I had a pad on. So when I got home the pad was soaked and I was so happy my panties weren't ruined because they were so expensive. They were I bet even a little wet after I pissed and shit came through my pad! Scaringly close!

 

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