Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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Ticking time bomb

I've had this Giant's watch for a couple years now.  When I gained weight I stopped wearing watches, jewelry, and pretty much anything girly.  The watch has sat inside it's box in my closet for ages now.  When I got word that the team my husband and I would be managing in little league would be the Giants I immediately gathered all of my Giants gear so I could be the coolest team mom ever.  I pulled this watch out and I've worn it a few times since.  I guess my life is pretty noisy because I've never noticed this fucking watch tick tocks LOUDLY.

I laid out my clothes for the team picture today before bed last night.  On top of my clothes I put my Giants watch to remind myself to wear that one and not one of my others.  This morning when my husband left for work I woke up and took out my ear plugs so I could hear the boys if they woke up. 

TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

Holy shit.  In a silent house the watch was tick tocking as loud as the heart in that Edgar Allen Poe story.  I kept trying to doze off but I couldn't because I just kept hearing tick tick tick TICK TICK.  The ticking weaved into my dreams and before I knew it I was dreaming of bombs, clocks and basically being stuck in a room with a new form a Chinese water torture in which I'm forced to listen to this ticking.  I finally woke up and tried hiding the watch in the clothes.  It did not matter.  I heard it.  I went downstairs and made coffee and finally got some peace.  Since then I've left the watch on the bathroom counter, which I forgot about, which meant that in the middle of the night when I got up to pee and heard a ticking noise it scared the shit out of me.  When I walk into my room home alone and hear the ticking I freak out.  I think I've seen too many bomb episodes of Criminal Minds. 

At work the other day I went to the bathroom and I was the only one hear.  I heard ticking in the bathroom and obviously panicked for about 14 seconds before realizing it was this fucking watch.

The watch is cute, I love it, and it matches all of my little league stuff, however I think when this season is done I'm going to shove it back in it's box and hide it in the fucking attic because the ticking between now and then just might kill me dead.  

 


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Apr. 16, 2014

Comments

Apr. 16 2014
beylit said…
This right here is why we don't have watches or clocks that make noise in the house. My husband has a reaction akin to Captain Hook when he can hear a clock. It is not pretty.
Apr. 18 2014
Ginger said…
LMAO I HATE...Like absolutely dispise clocks that tick. It was so bad that in college it became a running joke to hide a ticking clock in whatever room I was sleeping in because I wouldn't notice until I tried to go to sleep and then it would drive me fucking bonkers!

 

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