Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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Bull Pizzle

My dog is obsessed with these chewy things called bully sticks.  One day at a local farmers market I saw some fresh made bully sticks and stopped to buy one.  My asshole friend decided to ask me if I knew what they were.

Asshole friend: Do you even know what those are?

Shannon: Beef skin rolled up?

AF: No, those are cow dicks

Shannon:   **blank look**

AF: Laughter

Shannon: But...but this is a 14" bully stick...are you telling me, 14 inches...like...a bull dick are you sure?

Salesman: You didn't know that? That is why there is different sizes.

Shannon: So I'm sorry but..you killed this cow, made some steak, made some hamburger, then cut off his dick and stuck in in the beef jerky machine and labeled it a dog treat?

Salesman: Yeah pretty much

Shannon: BUT IT'S FOURTEEN INCHES LONG WHAT THE FUCK

Salesman: Yeah cows are lucky

I bought the bully stick and my dog obviously loved it.  I've since found them at Costco and it's hilarious because under ingredients they list, "bull pizzle." I laugh so hard every time I read that.

Anyway said dog is currently chewing on a 12" bull penis and you guys my house smells so bad.  When they start chewing on these things they smell.  My house smells like a mix of rotting bodies, shit, and death.  I keep throwing the stupid bone outside and the asshole dog keeps bringing it back inside.  I just tried to eat a snack and he brought the damn bone back in right below me, y'all I nearly puked when I smelled it. I can't imagine what is going through my dogs head that he is enjoying this thing.  He will not put it down for anything.  He thinks this chewy is the greatest thing ever.  Dogs have a very good sense of smell, are you telling me this fucker thinks chewed up, dried up beef dick smells good?

Dogs....

But wait there is more.  I got my first Ipsy bag today, that came with a roller ball perfume.  I opened it up and went to test it on myself. Only problem is, it was hot, so when I touched it to my skin perfume gushed out and leaked ALL OVER ME.   So I'm now immersed in Gardenia smelling perfume that is so strong it's making me wanna vomit.  Combine that with the rotting dead people smell and I need a shot or two of tequila if I'm going to get through this day.


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Jun. 12, 2013

Comments

Oct. 05 2013
Jinx said…
Maybe you need some bull pizzle.... ..... Just sayin'
Oct. 06 2013
Misguided Mommy said…
Jinx...I get pleny of pizzle. More then enough
Oct. 06 2013
Megan said…
My dog loves these things too.... I just recently had a convo with my boyfriend about this chew that my dog loves.... We decided to google bully stick to see if they were good for our dog.... Now I can't even look at it the same way, every time my dog drops this"stick" at my feet I get so grossed out..... I can't bare to take the damn thing away from him.... Ugh, I guess I'm going to have to make room for bull dick in our home... LMFAO
Nov. 18 2013
Jen said…
Hilarious! Just found this after googling "pizzle". Our new pup is obsessed, too. And, urgh (gag), the smell. Can't wait to tell my husband, the vegetarian, though! HAAHAAA!
Nov. 26 2013
Mary said…
Been giving these to my puppy since she was a baby..Now at a year we got a bag that stinks horrible.. so I checked it out to see if it is bad… A recall or something…. And after all this time.. Because I got them from the pet store..I assumed they were from USA.. Find they are NOT. Want to warn people, aside from the smell.. Which can be bad.. Most important,be careful of where the product was made. Only buy USA products.
Feb. 10 2014
Debbie said…
Im sorry yours smell. I get them from bulk foods and I get the curly ones with no smell what so ever not they last that long. They r very costly like $2? for 1 and they are not very big. U might be getting the smoked flavor one mine is just dried. Im trying to find a cheaper one since Bandit goes through it in 5 min. Any help? I dont want a smelly one though. Check and see if yours is smoked if so try the plain dried one no smell and my dog goes at it like ite crack lol and he wont touch raw hide. He will eat pigs ears too again costly. Get back to me Im anxious to know Debbie
Jun. 05 2014
Liliha said…
My 7lb rescue maltese-chihuahua would not eat anything that needed to be chewed for the first 6 mos with me… Vet said she needed to chew or suffer early loss of her teeth… $200-$300 worth of treats, biscuits, dental chews, rawhide, kibble, etc., etc… She would not eat kibble unless it was mushed up in wet food; smaller kibble made no difference… she licked the rawhide until it was soft enough to swallow whole; buying bigger rawhide was no different except she choked while swallowing it… biscuits, bones and dental chews were ignored or pushed out to the middle of the room where I either stepped on it or tripped over it until I got rid of it… So I finally brought home one of the large sized curly bull pizzles… She loves these things!! Chews on one like dessert after her dinner… She likes to tease me into trying to take it away… She eats at least 2 per week, which translates into $7.50X2= $14 each week… Don't notice a lot of smell but I have to make sure to take it away when she chews down to the last curl because she tries to swallow it and chokes… The idea is gross so I just try not to think about it too much… Nanea and I love these treats!!
Aug. 01 2014
dazy said…
Add me to the list of people who found this after google "pizzle". Our puppy loves this crap. But then, he tends to like crap - his own..the cats'... We originally got him one at the bulk bin(fresh, unwrapped) at the pet store, at the clerk's suggestion. We just replaced it with a new one (wrapped, "commercial") and it stinks to high heaven. Blech. He also loves deer esophagus which looks like a piece of jerky. He plays with those by stalking and pouncing before settling down to eat them. These last maybe..10-15 min.and gross me out a bit less. We also got him an elk antler which...looks like the end of an antler(no pointy ends) and there is marrow in there.
Aug. 28 2014
Cynthia A said…
Sorry I wont leave an email but my daughter's pit bull eats those things all of the time. They are much cheaper if you buy them in bulk about $49.00 for 50 of them. They do stink to high heaven and it is quite grotesque to think about...New studies from FOX state that E Coli and other bacteria have been found in them so if you do find it in your gut to actually pick one up PLEASE wash your hands!To my understanding this strain does not affect animals the same way that it does humans providing your dog is healthy and up to date on their shots...(after all, they do eat some pretty nasty stuff and veterans are fully aware)Just keep it in mind when dealing with the dickey-do.
Jan. 29 2015
Dan said…
I wonder if fox did the research to find out E. coli doesn't live after being cooked and dried out. And you think $2 is expensive for a dog treat? Seriously?!?
Apr. 29 2015
Royal Bully Sticks said…
Try Royal Bully Sticks ... odorless 100% natural and digestible,
Aug. 15 2015
Chelsea said…
My dog loves these too, what ive learned is if you smell them (i know gross) before you by them you can easily judge which ones will smell the worst when they chew them. Ive been doing this so as to find the least smelly ones, it helps some.
Aug. 30 2015
pam c. said…
my tiny little rescue dog just loved his curly pizzle. it has no smell and the tag warned about eating too much at one time, chico weighs less than 10 lbs and he finished his in 2 days- with no tummy trouble. have you tried cow hoofs? they take a while to and i thought they smelled but our border collie just loved them.
Mar. 31 2016
sue said…
my little morkie,Sadie just loves the bully stix.i have noticed some smell worse than others,but I recently found some that are odor free,and I am hoping she likes them as much
Mar. 31 2016
sue said…
my little morkie,Sadie just loves the bully stix.i have noticed some smell worse than others,but I recently found some that are odor free,and I am hoping she likes them as much
Apr. 23 2016
Miguelsand said…
My dog and I share beef pizzle dinners. Try cooking some pizzle in a crook pot. It is so amazing and tender. I find the lighter colored pizzles smell better b
Jun. 16 2016
Destiny said…
My 9 lb poodle loves bully sticks! In the past, I purchased smaller rawhide sticks because the bully sticks looked to thick for her little mouth. One day, I decided to try a single bully stick... that little dog chewed on that thing for a week until it was a nub... she normally just chews and I end up throwing away most of the worn down hide! I wanted to see what caused this little dog to obsess over this new treat, so I looked up beef pizzle... OOhhhh... ok! :)
Jun. 21 2016
Allison said…
I spelled it wrong when checking that my dog was gnawing on what I thought it might be. It's right up there with the time my buddies and I smirked and nudged and let somebody's vegetarian girlfriend chow down on 'sweetbreads' at some fancy tapas bar. Being me I had to tell her later on so she wouldn't embarrass herself like that again. I waited until she was drunk.

 

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