Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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Falling in love

I don't remember the exact moment I fell in love with my husband.  Instead I have memories of just being in love with him.  I can remember laying next to him and looking over thinking, "I love him."  I can remember sitting on the beach by the fire looking into his eyes and thinking, "I can't even hear a word he is saying because I'm so stunned at how much I love him in this moment." 

What is interesting though is that after eleven years together I still have moments where I stop and fall in love all over again.  I have these moments where, if I didn't love him yet they would be the moments where I would stop and say I LOVE YOU for the first time.

My husband is amazing.  He is, in a word...my LIFE.  I have been going through a pretty rough patch.  Things got pretty bad there mentally for a while.  I have been farther down then I have ever been and my husband has been, what every woman dreams of during this time.  When it all went bad and I really broke down, he picked up his phone, turned on a slow song and asked me to dance with him.  I felt so silly.  Here I was in my jammies in the evening slow dancing.  But suddenly I just broke down.  I started really crying and I opened up and told him everything.  After that he sat with me and just listened.  He just LISTENED.  After that he asked what I wanted to do and I was honest and said, "I want to finish reading my book." So he sat behind me, laid back on the couch and let me just lean on him and read my book in silence. He didn't text, turn on the TV or talk, he just laid there, held me and let me do what I wanted.  It was perfect.  He didn't try and talk about, he didn't try and "fix it" he just held me, let me read and shut up.  

Every night since then he has danced with me.  He told me he wanted a chance for us to take five minutes out of every single day to just have quiet alone time.   At first it was silly.  At first I didn't like it. Now, those few minutes are my favorite.  I crave them.  I love the moment when he walks into the room and grabs my hand and tells me it's time to dance.  Even when we were arguing the other day he came and woke me up and made me dance with him.  At the end of the song I wasn't even mad at him anymore.  Sunday we danced at noon.  I loved it. 

Yesterday was his birthday and I planned a few romantical things for him.  Later we were laying in bed talking and we started wondering if all married couples are like us.  We have talked to our friends and we know that a lot of them aren't.  Do other couples still have sex as much as we do after eleven years?  Do they still do the other...sexy things we do?  Do they still kiss as much as we do?  Do they still make out?  When I walk by him he still reaches out and grabs my ass.  When I walk by him I love to stop and kiss his back.  I love to run my hands down his arms and just touch him.  I usually can't go in the kitchen without touching him some how, kissing him, hugging him, or just brushing my hand against him.  We still flirt with each other.  When we are putting away dishes if he's near the sink and I'm putting something in the island inevitably we end up in a shoving match and I try and block him from where he is going and he tries to block me from where I'm going.  It's cute.  I don't' know why we do it, but we do.  When he is doing dishes he will still shake his hands off on me and splash water in my face.  At least twice a week he sneaks into the shower with me just to wash my back.  I love when I catch him in the shower and the boys are being good giving me a chance to sneak in with him.  He kisses me good night every single night and kisses me good bye every single time he leaves the house.  

We spent an hour last night laying in bed with the little lamp on just talking to each other wondering, is every marriage like ours?  Are other couples still as in love as we are?  When my husband and I fight it hurts.  He says he goes to work with a stomach ache and feels sick all day. I hate it when we fight.  I feel miserable and wrong and I just want it fixed.  We can't stay mad at each other long though because it's so hard to not touch each other as much as we like to.

I can't help but wonder if this is normal?  In a society where divorce and cheating and hatred is so prevalent is our marriage normal or are we now considered abnormal?  Is every married couple this caught up in each other?  Is everyone this in love?  My husband and I have nothing in common.  In fact if I wonder if he will like something all I have to do is ask myself if I like it.  If the answer is no then it's a pretty good shot he will love it.  Yet somehow our differences bring us closer.  I fall in love with him more every single day.  I often have to just grab him and tell him, "I love you so much right now."  There are times when I kiss him that I kind of lose sight of everything around me and find myself pushing for a full on make out session.  It's cute, he starts laughing quietly and has to look at me and ask if I really want to make out in the middle of where ever we are.  Sometimes I don't realize we are on the school playground, at the store, at a baseball game because I just forget.  When he asked me if I thought other couples were like us I answered that sadly, no I don't think so.  One of the reason we are as sexual as we still are is because I love making him happy.  I love doing anything that will make him happy.  Seeing him happy is probably the most intoxicating thing in the world for me.  I crave it.  I'm not sure that all spouses are like that.  I don't know if all of my friends crave the look on their husbands face after a romantic night together.  I'm not sure if my friends crave the way their husbands lips feel.  I'm not sure if they feel off balance if they don't love on their husband for more then five days.  

So tell me blog world.  Is this normal?  Is everyone around me as deep in love as I am?  Or am I just experiencing something spectacular and rare?  I'm curious to know so that next time my husband and I talk about it I can answer him.  Did I just stumble upon my actual soul mate, or is it always this good in all marriages?  I know that there are a few blogs I read where I can feel the same love (Emery I'm looking at you) but is the whole world like this?  Leave your comments and tell me.  What little things go on with you and your spouse that remind you how much you love them.  Or, what things have you found that were missing that maybe led you to realize leaving was right?  Tell me, do you think it's possible for a love like this to last?  Will we still be like this in another 50 years?  Were your parents like this?  Because i know my kids are only a few years away from being totally grossed out at how in love my husband and I are with each other.  The only upside is that I know both of my boys will learn what true love is, and never settle for anything less if they watch their father and I together. Do you still have a crush on your spouse?  Because I still have the biggest crush on mine. 


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Aug. 28, 2012

Comments

Aug. 28 2012
Sarah Joy said…
You're relationship with your husband is beautiful darlin' girl
Aug. 28 2012
VIctoria said…
I WANT TO SHARE THIS AND IT WONT LET ME!!!! UGH... THIS is so BEAUTIFUL and I hope that me and Thomas Howard stay like this!
Aug. 28 2012
Angie said…
It warms my heart to see how absolutely amazing Rob is with you and then to see that you truly appreciate everything about him...I love my husband but I think the love you two share is beyond special!! You're not afraid to be mushy gushy and let everyone know how much you love him! I think lots of marriages have moments like this but maybe they don't share them with others. My parents were like that...the letters we found proved that unspoken love that we always knew was there and it as amazing to read and see the love they shared!! You and rob will always have this if you make time for each other and work at it the way you do! You are a wonderful example for your boys and they will definitely know what kind of love they need in life!
Aug. 28 2012
Misguided Mommy said…
Thank you guys! You are wonderful
Aug. 29 2012
Lainey-Paney said…
Awwwwww.... Marriage is hard. It always makes me think of that "Remember When" country song. "We came together, we fell apart, and broke each others' hearts...." That's us. The ups...the downs...the 'we're still here' moments. It's wonderful that yall are still all flirty. {Yeah....I just typed "yall".}
Aug. 30 2012
Rachael said…
I hope to have that one day.

 

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