Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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So let's give away some sex toys

I have no idea what to do with you my dear loyal readers. When I asked what to do with the sex toys from the adult toy shop EdenFantasys never in a million years did I expect for so many of you to tell me to do a give away.  This company approached me months ago to give away or review their products and I declined because I thought my readers wouldn't like it.  But you all surprised me.  

SO LET'S GIVE AWAY SOME SEX TOYS EH!

Here is what you have to do to enter.  You must leave me a comment with your best sex toy story.  Did your parents find your toys?  Did you get caught with them?  Did your dog bring it out at a dinner party? I want to know.  Just to get the ball rolling I will tell you my best story. 

At our last house the master bedroom had a giant sliding door.  The door was right next to my night stand.  One summer day I had the door open so the breeze could blow through the screen into my room.  Brandon was a little over a year old and playing in my room. I went into the kitchen and when I came back I couldn't see Brandon.  I could hear something.  I went over and found that Brandon had opened the screen and was outback.  I found Brandon crouched down smiling.  The noise was coming from his mouth.  When he saw me his smile got bigger, he opened his mouth and proceeded to hand me my little silver bullet.  He had gotten in my drawer, found the fun shiny object, pushed the button to turn it on and then did what every toddler does, stuck it in his mouth.  I burst out laughing.  Before I could grab it he put it back in his mouth and I didn't even know what to do as I stood there staring at my little toddler grinning ear to ear with his teeth vibrating about.  I finally got it from him and I didn't make a big deal about it because I didn't want him to try and do it again.  After that I hid my toys MUCH HIGHER.  In fact I hid them so well I forgot where I hid them.  Which meant about a month later while cleaning up I opened my night stand and saw my toys gone.  I didn't know what to do.  Because how do you ask people if they have seen them?  I thought maybe my house cleaner had moved them, but I couldn't just go up to her and say, "Hey Norma have you seen my vibrator?" I told my mom about it and we agreed I couldn't go around accusing people of stealing my toys.  So I just let it be.  A few months later we moved.  So imagine how thrilled I was when my husbands friends came to help us move and one of them grabbed one of my dresser drawers to load in a truck and looked down to see two little toys rolling around.  Four seconds before he grabbed that drawer I remembered where I had hid the toys.  

OOPS.

Now I'd like to hear your best story.  Here is what the winner gets:

The Passion Bullet - Dual

AND

The Envy Petite G

It's up to you whether you choose to keep them or, keep one and give one away, or give them as a wedding gift.  

I can't wait to hear your stories.  The give away ends one week from today!  For multiple entries tell me more then one story in separate comments.

Good luck!


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Mar. 31, 2012

Comments

Mar. 31 2012
cassie said…
We have 4 kids and last summer we got a new puppy. We had our toys in a bag under our bed. The puppy chewed through the bag and had the toys strung out down the hallway and down the flight of stairs. We had been outside playing, and it was bathtime for the youngest kid. I was walking in the house and had a slight heart attack at the sight of all of these toys. I ran ahead of the kid and was grabbing toys as fast as I could while yelling for my husband. It was quite comical, after the fact.
Mar. 31 2012
Kim Mueller said…
My son was 6 at the time and when I placed my one and only toy order they sent me two of the smaller vibrators with a changeable tip. Although this one doesn't look like one at all so used the extra one as a massager on my head when I got a migraine. Promise. Well, it was under a pillow from when I had a migraine the night before and I had no idea Little Man grabbed it and took it in the car on the way to walmart. I heard this noise coming from the back seat and some giggling and immediately knew what he had. So I asked for it back and he said, "But mom, it makes my penis hard." I was mortified and asked for it back again and he said, "Mom it feels SO GOOD!" OMG. So I threw it in my purse and did my shopping in walmart...ever so careful not to accidentally pull that out of my purse. OOOOOPS. Is it not super funny that my first captcha was HOR!!! BWAHAHAHAH. Just missing the W and the E.
Mar. 31 2012
Ginger said…
Can we tell embarrassing stories about finding someone else's sex toys??
Mar. 31 2012
Rachael said…
I sure hope you are doing a random drawing, because if you are actually judging on the mortification factor, I think Kim wins hands down. I don't really have any except for the other day I got home from being out and my mom had been babysitting my kids, she is super nice and always picks up the toys at the end of the night... at some point after she'd left I noticed a toy on top of the cable box in the living room... I have no idea if she found it and put it there, or if the baby had found it and brought it out... I will never know because it's not like I'm going to ask. So, yeah...
Apr. 01 2012
saly said…
After Hub and I went away last fall I left my suitcase on my bed, to later find Lucy digging around in there. She'd discovered my rabbit...and was going on and on about the pretty pink toy we brought back for her. I made it disappear, but she still asks what ever happened to her souvenir. You know, that buzzing pink one! (omg)
Apr. 02 2012
Heather said…
So, I had a slumber party years back and as the hostess gift..I got the double headed monster. If you've seen this thing..its 18" and I guess meant to share? I dont know. We kept it with our other toys and mostly pulled it out as a party joke amongst friends! One night we had our FAMILY (read that very mormon, conservative family) over for dinner and to hot tub...My son, 4 at the time said he had to show granmda his snake...not knowing what he meant we kind of ignored him, until he threw the double headed dildo INTO the hot tub WITH my parents...I, in total panic, picked it up and threw it out into the yard, hoping they hadnt seen. My son began to cry, because he thought he was showing us all something cool My husband at the time, was purple from embarassment. My parents, with a disgusted look on their faces, announced it was time to leave. to rub salt in the wound..my son asked repeatedly "Don't you like my pet snake?" sigh.
Apr. 03 2012
steph said…
For a little back story, I went to a very small, very christian highschool. The guy who I dated all through highschool's mom was very conservative. Like... picture a female version of Jesus. For valentine's day our senior Year I gave my boyfriend a booklet of dirty explicit "coupons" handcuffs, and some lube. We kept it all in a box in the back of his closet under a bunch of sports crap. I think there was a pocket vibrator in there too? Anyways, one day we went over to his house after school and his mom had completely cleaned his room... and closet (who's mom still cleans their room in HIGH SCHOOL?!?!) The box was nowhere to be found. We waited for the shit to hit the fan but she NEVER SAID ANYTHING. I was super mortified but eventually forgot about it. A year later they moved to a different house and one day when I was looking for something in her closet I found The Box. Just sitting on a shelf. I have no idea why she kept it if she wasn't even going to talk to us about it, and why she took it with her when they moved! Anyways, by that point I was pissed and almost wanted her to say something. So I took it back. We never did end up talking about it:)
Apr. 06 2012
Jenna S. said…
Okay, I am going to leave two comments, not so much because I want 2 entries, but because I am not so sure if the first counts... I was lounging at my folk's house one day and Ma asked if I would help her clean her bedroom. I figured what the heck she's getting older and it would be nice of me. We were almost finished with the room when she says "I have some things you can have if you want them" and heads for her dresser. I'm thinking clothes she doesn't want or that don't fit. She starts out by pulling some naughty undies and such out saying that they are new she was never brave enough to wear them. I mean they were naughty enough I was wondering if I was even brave enough, lol. Then she proceeds to pull out some plastic bags. I think there was like 3, but I can't remember so well. She looks into the first and says "not this one". From the second she pulls out a dual pleasure dildo...at this point I panic. She hands it over to me and says I never opened it. At this point I am done...I just walk away pretending that nothing has changed, but knowing I am dying on the inside. Now let me tell you about my mom so you understand just how astonished I was. She was like 50 when this happened. We've never discussed or bordered any naughty subjects...I am one of those adults that for some odd reason think that their parents didn't have sex to create them, so yeah.
Apr. 06 2012
Jenna S. said…
So now for story two...My now husband and I were dating when this happened. He had come over to my house one evening to lounge. I was a single mother of two, so many times it was easier to stay in with the kids than to go out. We had been dating for a couple months so it wasn't overly awkward. Well, wasn't before the night in question. The kids loved him, even way back then so they were constantly vying for his attention and trying to outdo one another. This night the kids were not as bothersome as normal...to the point you begin to worry because they are so quiet. I went to check on them and all seemed normal and well, but suspicious. They were all giggly like they had a secret. I was so naive and returned to our rest on the couch. A bit later I heard the telltale buzzing. Hubs looks at me and asks what is that. I told him I wasn't sure, maybe one of them decided to brush their teeth early. I knew this was a sad attempt, but had to try. I got up to go check on them, not realizing he had followed. I step into their bedroom where one has the head of a very neon green realistic silicone vibrator in his mouth. I tried to remain calm as I asked what are you doing? He told me it was soft, but made his mouth feel funny and he liked it. I take it away and turn to leave the room, when I bump into my follower. I was so mortified. We have been married for many years now and he still teases me about that moment and the shock he saw on my face. I am no longer partial to green toys :O)

 

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