Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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I can't even think of a title when all that's in my head is old school Puff Daddy and Mase songs

What's been going on with Shannon lately?  Let's do a bulleted edition shall we? The last bullet is for sure worth reading the others for.  I promise.

*Just right now the office cat jumped on my desk.  He's covered in fleas.  Why is he covered in fleas?  Because he won't stop killing wild bunny rabbits.  We treated him for fleas but he still has them. I CANNOT STOP ITCHING.

* I have no Nutella right now.  The future seems dim when there is no Nutella involved.

* This morning I lost my eye glasses for three hours.  I found them in the bag that stores the breast pump.  Someone please tell me how in the hell my glasses got in the boobie bag?

* As far as injuries go I went ahead and burned my arm on the office fire place the other day. But just for fun while showering I went ahead and loofahed the burn mark and twenty minutes later looked down and saw that I had blood streaming down my arm and all over the place.  Five days later and my arm is still all nasty and bloody.  I'm still waiting on the bubblewrapped room.

* We won't even discuss what Coffee Slut mailed me. I will tell you she said it would last till Easter and right now it's not looking good.

* When my dog died I had a bottle of delicious bottle of Sweet Riesling in my house.  I drank the whole bottle while wandering up and down my street looking for my cats and lamenting on and on about my dead dog.  I never remember the name of this wine though, which is why I often tell people I'm going home to have a glass of, "dead dog wine."  I am convinced there are about 20 people in Reno who think there is a real wine out there with the label DEAD DOG WINE. 

* No other wine tastes as good as my dead dog wine and when you're having a really bad day and want a glass of wine Chardonnay just doesn't do the same thing as a Sweet Riesling.

* My son has been off track for three weeks now.  That means he's been at work with me for three weeks. I'm going totally insane.  INSANE.  

* The puppy is going to kill me dead.  He is the biggest menace ever.  Seriously someone please reassure me that this will get better, that he will stop digging in 4 feet of mud and then spinning circles on my favorite chair, the coffee table and the computer.  Tell me he will stop biting people and jumping on people and peeing and for the love of God please tell me he will stop eating every piece of tissue out of every trash in my house.

*I'm still freaked out and itching over the fleas.

* Codi ate 9 whole macaroni noodles last night.  For the first time EVER in four years.  He ate them without gagging or proclaiming that the macaroni will kill him on the spot and that it's burning his mouth alive from cheesy goodness.  He flat out refused to try the spaghetti noodle though.  Because OMGITHASSAUCEANDSAUCEISTHEDEVIL.

* I've been going rounds with all things electrical at work lately.  I'm at the point where if one more electronic breaks I'm going to go all Office Space on it, turn on "Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta," and kill it with a baseball bat.

* Last week my son had a little friend come over.  They were playing outside.  I should have known better then to let three boys play outside. But I didn't.  So imagine my surprise when I walked outside, next to my kids playhouse and saw a GIANT HUMAN SHIT.  Yes, this little boy had shit in my yard.  A big shit.  Like eight inches long.  HE SHIT IN MY YARD.  I didn't even know what to do.  He tried to blame it on my puppy.  The puppy that was locked inside the house with me.  So if you want an indication of my week, there it is, someone elses son shit on the patio of my kids playhouse. That right there will tell you everything you need to know about my week!

 


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Feb. 22, 2012

Comments

Feb. 22 2012
Ginger said…
*You're lame, you're last 3 posts have been bullet lists. You're dedicated readers want more than bullet lists. Just sayin'... *MMMMMM, Nutella. *I need to watch Office Space again. Such. A. Great. Movie! *How does anything have fleas in Nevada? Isn't it too high of an elevation (you know, where they'll explode or some shit)...or maybe it's just too dry? *Have you ever pondered whether or not your own son said it was okay to shit in your yard because, (a) you let your kids pee in your yard and (b) you might possible let your husband pee outside too? But hey, at least it wasn't in the front yard like the story I hard on Rob, Arnie and Dawn the other morning.
Feb. 23 2012
kristi said…
I cringed when I read about the arm. Ouchie!

 

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