Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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Catching up with the men in my life

Brandon is six now.  His attitude is more like a 13 year old girl.  I love this little guy to pieces but man is his arguing going to kill me. 

Brandon is complex.  He is sensitive.  He cries easy, loves hard, hugs often and can be so full of joy.  He is a never ending pit of hunger.  3 Eggs and bacon don't make a dent in his stomach.  I'm not sure my chickens can keep up with his egg yolk addiction.  I know I can't keep up with his constant need for food.  

He is in first grade now.  Reading and writing now.  It blows my mind.  How come my little baby boy is suddenly studying for spelling tests?  He's gotten in a fight at school.  All the girls love him.  He's learning to play the drums. And he asks more questions then ten four year olds combined.

 

Brandon is thoughtful, and poetic, and as emotional as me.  We fight a lot.  I'm not sure which of us is more stubborn but from my point of view it's him.  THE KID IS STUBBORN.  He wakes up at the crack of dawn and passes out early every night.  If I try sleeping in too late he wakes me up to notify me that it's been over 15 minutes and he hasn't eaten food.  He draws the cutest pictures.  He writes the funniest stories.  He purposely ignores every word out of my mouth.

Codi just turned four.  I'm at a loss.  I don't compute.  Four??? FOUR!

Codi growing up is the hardest on me.  He was my last baby.  I can't have any more babies and now my last one is growing up.  He's writing his name.  He's bossy as shit, and he plays me like a fiddle.  Codi can cry big crocodile tears on command.  He blames everything on his brother and won't enter a room without the light on.  

He still exists on nothing but chicken nuggets and pancakes, although he has progressed from aggrivatingly small silver dollar pancakes to an actual full size pancake and sometimes it's even allowed to have syrup on it.

Codi is the only kid in his class who can write his name.  He learned it in one night.  He wanted his name tattooed on my wrist like his brothers.  Codi will not go to sleep unless I'm laying next to him.  He is a snuggle bug who loves his blanky, his pillow pet (a moose, named moosey) and his stuffed moose (also named moosey). He wont' wear the same pair of pajamas two nights in a row and he refuses to put his clothes inside the hamper.  They must be set RIGHT NEXT TO THE HAMPER. 

He's getting so cute.  Girls come running after him when we get to school.  He has no idea how much the girls like him.  I don't understand it either since most of the time the Codi I see looks like this:

Codi gets nightly bloody noses and if I don't turn on the humidifier I can expect him to wake up screaming BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD and then soak his expensive ass Pottery Barn sheets in bright red blood.  He wakes up with shit like this in his nose daily:

They fight with each other over everything.  They hit each other with stuff.  Steal from each other and blame the other one for whatever is broken, wet, spilled, lost, cracked, or shattered.

They are the light of my life.  

But hot damn are they exhausting.

Add to that my third child.

Charlie.

Charlie is like a dog constantly on crank.

How is life with Charlie?

Charlie is insane.  He never stops.  He is constantly in BOLD CAPS AND TRAILED BY EXCLAMATION POINTS.

Even when he does slow down he does it at his own speed...he won't even sleep in the fucking bed.

Charlie is fully potty trained.  But, just for funsies two weeks ago he started marking my house.  But not just my house, he PEED IN MY BED.  I found out when I got in the bed and pulled the soaking wet pee soaked sheets up ONTO MY FACE.  He marked Brandons bed, Brandons curtain, my plant, a chair, the toilet (so close), the laundry hamper, the other corner of the bed, my office, my dad's backpack, an employees backpack, a wall, a door and OMFG WHEN DOES IT STOP.  Charlie got neutered on Monday.  

TAKE THAT FUCKER.

But Charlie loves me like crazy.  He follows me everywhere.  If I am gone he sleeps on my shoe, or my sweater or anything that smells like me.  His best friend is a cat.  He's hell bent on eating my chickens and he thinks the world is one giant chew toy.  Charlie is loyal.  He lays on my feet.  He lays on my side of the bed.  He sits on my lap.  He rides in the car next to me.  He makes me smile daily.  Charlie is like my kids.  He drives me absolutely fucking insane but I sure couldn't picture my life without him.  

The women in my life though...they are totally kicking ass!


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Dec. 29, 2011

Comments

Dec. 29 2011
Sarah Lynn said…
Shannon, love all the pictures, except the snot one- it makes me vomit a little in my mouth. :-\ You're a brave Momma! :-p
Dec. 30 2011
Patty said…
OMG how the boys have grown! I can't believe it. They were tiny tiny not so long ago. Oh Charlie is beautiful! He reminds me of the kind of crazy Max was as a puppy! Enjoy it because he will grow up just as fast! Loved the recap! :)

 

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