Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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In which EVERY ONE OF YOU FAIL FAIL FAIL!!!!!!! (and I lost the tin foil bet)

I have things that bug me.  Little ticks.  I'm sure you all have little ticks too.  For instance:

If you touch wet dog food (or cat food) with on of my untensils I will have a panic attack and commence immediete sanitizing and then freak out because in order to clean it the dog food touched my sink AND OH MY GOD THE DOG FOOD IS GOING TO KILL US ALL.
 

There is the toilet paper thing.  You know, the one where the toilet paper must be facing the correct direction or the world explodes.  And yes, if I visit your house I will flip around your toilet paper and make it right.  I will also do this at Walmart, a casino and basically EVERYWHERE, that way the world will safely stay put and not explode!!!!!

And finally!

When cooking the dull side of the foil MUST BE FACING OUT.  Here is the way it works.  If I am cooking ON the foil the dull side faces up.  It is the non stick side.  (Seriously every single one of you shut up, in my head it is non stick and if I spray enough Pam on it anything is non stick).  But, if I am covering something the dull side faces in and the shiny side faces out, that way the dull (nonstick!!!) side is obviously facing the food.  

BECAUSE THE DULL SIDE MUST BE TOUCHING THE FOOD AT ALL TIMES!!!!

And, you have all made my husband walk around like he is the king shit because he won this argument.  And people HE IS NOT ALLOWED TO WIN THE ARGUMENTS EVER!!!!!

YOU ALL FAIL IN A MASSIVE WAY!!!!!

FAIL FAIL FAIL

And don't let me catch you putting the foil upside down or the toilet paper backwards or I will start breaking shit!


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Jun. 27, 2011

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