Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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Is cold...nuff said

I'm over you Reno.  Over you and your sunny sweating my imaginary balls off days followed by I'm so cold I'm dripping pee sicles out here taking my dog potty.

Speaking of that, why does it take my dog 20 minutes to shit when it's freezing cold but only about 40 seconds when the temperature is all nice and fluffy out?

Brandon keeps having night terrors.  Only, not just at night, he has them during nap time too.  They scare the shit out of me.  He starts screaming, "NO I DON'T WANT TO, NO DON'T MAKE ME, NOOO DON'T DO IT."  Being as paranoid as me you know my head is going to take all of that the wrong way.  He remembers none of it when he wakes up and some times it can take upwards of five minutes to wake up.  Sometimes he can only be woken up by putting a soaking wet cold washcloth on his back.  He gets all crazy eyed and demonic and has some kind of superhuman strength, I'm talking this kid could kick Supermans ass when he is one of these dreams.  Some times he tells me he saw monsters on the wall and that when he opened his eyes he, "flashes them."  I don't know what ''flashing" them means.  When I asks he looks at me like I'm the biggest idiot to ever idiot and just says, "YOU KNOW MOM I FLASHED THEM AND THAT IS SCARY."

Thanks for the clarification kid.

I ran another 5K this weekend.  My time was great (for my slow fat ass) and it was nice out...but the run SUCKED.  I'm not prepared to say why yet.  Although I do intend to blog about it because I really need some advice and I just don't know how to google the right terms to get help.  But it's bad.  And it made the run suck and...I had to leave something behind at the end of the whole thing, which makes it really bad.

Brandon just informed me the other day that for the last year he has not been flushing his shitty toilet paper he has just been setting it in the trash.  I guess he got a little confused when we said wipes couldn't go in the toilet (I have a septic, if you have ever had shit back up and spray out of your shower you wouldn't flush wipes either).  Anyway now I'm wondering just what the fuck I've touched when I've leaned over to wipe my hand on a seemingly normal piece of toilet paper in the trash (think, emergency Codi booger on my finger disposal), ((NO I DON'T JUST USE DIRTY SHIT OUT OF THE TRASH, IT'S AN EMERGENCY PEOPLE)).

That's all for now.  Since I've been typing the dog has run off somewhere that way ------> and I really don't want to let him get so far that I get cold and start sweating popsicles out my tits from running after him or something.  Although, if it was cold I wouldn't sweat.  Oh wait, this is me....yes I would.

Here puppy pupppy pupppppy where are you.


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on May. 9, 2011

Comments

May. 10 2011
Ginger said…
LMAO that was the most random post ever!! And now I'm dying to know hat happened during the 5K!!!

 

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