Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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So confused and ouch that hurts

I've been backing off the dairy a little.  Lately I've been eating stuff from the So Delicious brand.  It is made with coconut milk instead of cows milk.  The yogurt is great.  Tonight I tried the ice cream and I'm conflicted. It has a coconut aftertaste which...is fine...I think.  I like coconut.  Specifically I like coconut candy (Almond Joy, Sees Candy), and I like coconut macaroons that is about it.  You see, my problem with coconut stems from a night where I decided to play waterfall with a bottle of Malibu Rum.  That led to large quantities of vommiting.  To this day I can't be in the same room as Malibu Rum without wanting to empty the contents of my stomach on someones living room floor.  So tonight while eating my ice cream, and last week while eating my yogurt I found myself thinking, "mmmm this taste pretty good and healthy." Followed by, "Oh shit this taste like Malibu Rum and I'ma vomit on my chair."  I have no idea what to do in this situation.  I know the coconut milk yogurt is better for me, but the mind fuck it's doing is not better for me.

Also I have a weird allergy.  Or food intolerance.  I can't eat anything with a pit.  Peaches, plums, avocados, they all make my stomach hurt BAD.  Imagine filling your stomach with rocks, then letting someone put it in a vice and try and squeeze it. Repeat for four hours or more.  Avocados are hard.  I love them and at least five times during the summer I say, "fuck it, they taste so good the pain is worth it."  For the most part I try and be good.  It bothers me though, why do I have to be allergic to healthy stuff?  I can't be allergic to gluten, or dairy or laundry or something?  How great would that be, "sorry dear can't do the laundry my allergies are acting up." 

Anywho these last two weeks my stomach has been hurting like a mother fucker.  I couldn't pin point it.  I blamed it on running.  I blamed it on meds.  I blamed it on global warming.  Then it occurred to me.  If you read my Facebook you would know I recently developed a love affair with Nutella.  A big one.  I'm talking Nutella on my fruit and then just fuck it, give me a spoon and a jar and call it good.  Well.  Nutella is hazlenut.  Hazlenut is a pit type fruit.  Hazlenut rips my stomach in half.  Add that to the hazlenut coffee creamer I've been drinking every day and I've been in a pretty bad way.  I'm kind of depressed about it.  I love Nutella.  I have visions of marrying Nutella and having little Nutella covered strawberry babies.  So I gave it up.  Yet this morning and all day my stomach has been killing me.  Killing me bad.  Killing me so bad I had to leave work and go take a nap.  Then it hit me.  Those bloody marys I drank WERE FULL OF OLIVES.  Olives that grow on a tree that have a pit.

I give up.

The world has taken away my last favorite food.  I would have rather given up cheese then peaches and olives and Nutella and NUTELLA.

Have any of you experienced this problem?  I'm still learning what classifies as a pit fruit.  Mostly stuff that grows on trees.  I don't eat walnuts but I have a feeling they would be on the no no list. 

I am just at such a loss here.  What would even cause an allergy like this?  I don't get hives.  I don't itch it just hurts like a mother fucker.  Please tell me I'm not alone in this allergy.

And yes, I fully plan to just say fuck it every now and then and go spoon first into a jar of Nutella.


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Apr. 25, 2011

Comments

Apr. 27 2011
Kat said…
I had to say I am LOLing my ass off here at this post. I kind of hopped over from the picket fence blog thingie. was scrolling through, your post caught my eye and I giggled hysterically while reading through it. I have a friend who has some similar issues and I can totally see her saying this stuff :P hope things get better for you <3

 

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