Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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Excedrin Wins..and I totally just wrote an episode of Criminal Minds

Excedrin.  I finally found something that made my ankles stop hurting.  Unfortunately it also comes with a side of caffeine which left me hopping around the office like a bunny rabbit yesterday.  I went and ran yesterday and I so didn't want to.  I knew Rob was picking up Codi so I got the idea that I would text him and tell him that if he saw me to stop and get me.  But then it occurred to me that he would just pretend he didn't see me, take a back route and make me run the whole three miles.  So I didn't text him.  I did pass him, rather he passed me and you know what he did?  He made fun of my socks. 

They looked similar to these socks:

Only bright pink and red.  Yes.  I went running down the street with bright pink and red knee socks.  Which is like wearing a blaring pink and red sign that says HEY SEE ME AND MY SOCKS DON'T RUN ME OVER K!

Onto the episode of Criminal Minds.  Last week on Monday I was running past these apartments.  Across the street from the apartments is the giant group mail box thingie.  In front of that in the lawn they had those signs out;

"WE HAVE THREE BEDROOMS AVAILABLE."

"COME LIVE HERE."

Etc.  And right in front of those signs was a van.  I saw a dude leaving the mail box and walking toward the van.  I'm thinking, "okay dude got his mail now he's gonna get in the van and go home." 

But.

He didn't get in the van.  Instead he started pulling the signs out of the ground.  So first I think, "maybe they don't have any more vacancies."  But then my mind starts reeling and I think....

"OMFG This guy is going to take these signs out and then put them back in and take them out all day until the right girl runs by him.  Then he will grab her, throw her in the van and kill her."  I of course freaked out from there thinking I must not have been his type and that clearly this guy was a murderer.  What a great ploy right?  Put the signs in, take the signs out, oh look skinny little white chick, KILL MURDER DIE.  

I let it go.

Then two days later I went running by again AND THE SIGNS WERE BACK PEOPLE.

THE SIGNS WERE BACK!!!
 

The van was still there too.  Cars can't be parked there.  I freaked out.  Totally freaked out.  I knew it.  I told myself I would run home and get on the internet and start Googling right away if there were any unsolved rapes in the area.  I told Ginger about it and her idea was that maybe they just took the signs down for the wind.  Which I would have believed IF I WASN'T RUNNING ON THE WINDIEST DAY OF THE WEEK AND THE SIGNS WERE BACK OUT.

I ran by yesterday and the van and signs were gone.  I don't know what this means.  Does he know I'm on to him?  Did he move on to a new apartment complex?  I'm totally freaked out about this whole situation.  Where did the signs go?  Why were they there two days ago and gone again?  I want to drive by today and look for the signs.  

THESE SIGNS ARE GOING TO KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT THOUGH!!!!!!

Running is totally kicking my ass in the way of manifesting every person into a murderer.  The guy sleeping in the bus stop, yeah he's gonna run after me and stab me with a knife.  The gardeners, yeah they are going to throw me in their trailer and torture me.  The guy running up the street towards me, yeah he is going to turn around, run towards me and KILL ME RIGHT ON THE ROAD.

I think I need to be grounded from TV!


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Mar. 24, 2011

Comments

Mar. 24 2011
Roadkill said…
You and Brandon Both
Mar. 24 2011
Jen (Huckdoll) said…
One, you're a hilarious girl, and two, I've had similar murderous thoughts while running to the point where I've changed routes :)
Mar. 25 2011
Sarah Lynn said…
Hehe Shannon. you are too funny. Im a city girl so I don't trust people either. I always think they have an ulterior motive. :-p. And I for one love your socks because I always wear the most colorful decked out socks. :-D P.S. Excederin is the best! takes me migraines away!
Mar. 27 2011
Kat said…
OMG that is so funny and now I am a bit freaked out. Though I completely get where you're coming from. We moved into the tiniest of villages not too long ago and it's in the middle of nowhere really, I'm home alone a lot and I don't go into the basement once it's dark and I am alone! For reasons! :)
Mar. 28 2011
Shawna said…
Girl get some pepper spray just in case. You never know.
Mar. 29 2011
Julie B. said…
Um, my only question is... Excedrin is good but Percocet is better, no? ;)

 

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