Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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In which I dispell my moms belief that I don't talk about sex

There is a lake near me that I HATE to go in.  Yet every year I get dragged out to this lake.  I don't know why.  It's one of those...everyone has memories of this lake so let's always go there lakes.  I have memories too.  Those memories are the reason I HATE THE LAKE. 

There are two memories of why I'm absolutely revolted by this lake.  Aside from the local rumors.  Aside from the "lake turning."  I have my own two reasons why I'm grossed out by this lake.

Reason 1:

Once while riding along on my Jet Ski I looked over to my right and saw....A dead floating dog.  A white poodle.  With a collar.  Just floating.  It's legs were all sprawled out like it had first been flattened before drowning.  The demented part is after that I drove around trying to get closer to it to see the collar because for a moment I thought, "maybe these people would like to know their dog is floating dead in the lake."  But the waves of the Jet Ski moved the dog and I never saw her (I decided it was a her) again.  From then on all I've done is think about that dog rotting to pieces in the lake and that every time I choke down some water I'm choking down a little bit of rotten poodle fur and flesh. 

Reason 2:

Once.  While riding around on the Jet Ski's with my boyfriend (now husband) we decided we wanted to have sex.  Only problem was I was on my period.  And despite my moms belief that I'm a prude I REALLLY WANTED TO HAVE SEX.  Yes.  In day light.  In the middle of the lake.  On a Jet Ski.  So I did the only logical thing.  I told my boyfriend to turn around, hopped in the lake, pulled out my tampon and threw it.  Then we did what we came there to do.  I went back there a year later and the whole time I was there all I could do was think I'M SWIMMING IN PERIOD BLOOD RIGHT NOW. 

It got me wondering what else is in the lake.  What else do I wash out of my hair when I get home?  How many other people have had sex in that lake?  Just how much sperm, dog parts and blood do people swim in. 

Whats the grossest thing you have ever done/seen in a body of water?


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Mar. 18, 2011

Comments

Mar. 18 2011
Ginger said…
Dead cow AND dead cat on the same white water rafting trip on the Colorado River last summer....never rafting on the Colorado River again!!! At least that was a river thought and the water was flowing, instead of a terminal lake like the one you are talking about...with the river there's a chance it will get flushed downstream and away from that area!
Mar. 18 2011
Robert Mateo said…
Um....TMI!!
Mar. 19 2011
Laura said…
Haha love it!
Mar. 20 2011
niki said…
Ummmm....... since I live here and know which lake you are talking about..... you have offically scared me for life.... lol
Mar. 21 2011
Mom said…
I will not say what I have done in that lake or Niki will never go in it again. I will say this, its a big lake and I feel safer there then the public pools in Reno. U guys do know that lake is where some of the Truckee River goes. It is at the end of our sewer plants, so it really doesn't matter what u do in it.
Mar. 21 2011
Niki said…
Oh my god you guys are killing me!! We camp there all the time during the summer.... I'm not sure I'll be able to get in it now! lol
Mar. 21 2011
Michelle said…
Yeah, I'd have a hard time, too. That said, I have a hard time in pools, too. And things like the flume rides at water parks - can't can't CAN'T do it.
Mar. 22 2011
Patty said…
And you wonder why city people like me want nothing to do with lakes! LMAO! You just gave me two more reasons to avoid lakes.

 

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