Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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If a 29 year old walked into a skating rink....

If a 29 year old walked into a skating rink she would probably want to wear a cute frilly shirt so it could blow in the wind as she skated.


If a 29 year old went skating in a cute frilly shirt she would probably want to play red light green light with all the kids.


If she played red light green light she would probably want to race really fast with the other kids.


If she wanted to race she probably should have remembered how to stop.


Then she would remember the best ways to stop are to fall on the floor or slam into the nearest wall.


Girl is genius!


If a 29 year old walked into a skating rink, decided to play red light green light and then jumped up to fly across the rink when the announcer said GREEN LIGHT, she probably should have paid better attention so she wouldn’t have to go all the way back to the starting point and get laughed at by ALL OF THE KIDS because the announcer really said GREEN MIGHT and tricked her.


If she got sent back to start she probably got really mad and decided to go extra fast the next time it was green light which wouldn’t be a problem until she had to stop and realized there was no wall near so her only option was to crash into the floor.


Dropping on the floor wasn’t so bad though.


Trying to jump back up and race across the floor again causing her to lose her footing and have both feet shoot out from under her, fly up higher then her head thus making her crash down so hard on her ass the whole rink shook might have been a problem.


If that girl crashed into the ground while wearing her cute frilly little shirt it would probably fly up over her head and got stuck there when she fell.


That would mean that while the girl was laying on her ass in the middle of the rink barely able to move the rest of the rink was staring at her boobs, bra and pasty white belly & muffin top LAUGHING.


Although some of the people wouldn’t laugh because they would be to busy doing that thing where they cover their mouth with one hand kind of lean to the side, use their other hand to point and go OOOOOOH DAMN DID YOU SEE THAT.


If the girl in the frilly shirt crashed into the ground and flashed the whole rink she was probably laying there for a very long time trying to convince her 29 year old bones to get up which means there was probably photographic evidence taking of this incident.


When that girl finally got up and limped off the rink she would rush to the bathroom to search for a bruise.
That girl probably would have had a bruise if her ass didn’t have all that nice fat to cushion her butt bone from the fall.


If a 29 year old walked into a skating rink that is probably what would happen.


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Dec. 7, 2010

Comments

Dec. 07 2010
Marni said…
You're so stinking cute, and funny!!
Dec. 08 2010
Sarah Lynn said…
Thank you for the smiles, hehe. :)
Dec. 08 2010
NYCPatty said…
I love that the 29 year old girl shared this experience with us! You are so adorable!
Dec. 11 2010
Sarah Lynn said…
I can't believe you got kicked off facebook!!!!

 

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