Tales of a Misguided Mommy


1. [url=http://someonebeingme.blogspot.com/]Someone Being Me[/url] asked: [b]Is there anything that is off limits on your blog? A topic that you will not discuss? You seem so open about everything I was just curious if you draw the line at some things.[/b]

I think the only thing that is actually off limits is things directly mentioning families name. In fact there is an entire category of family I just won't talk about. Simply because I never know who reads, and in case they do read, well, it keeps me out of trouble that way. I also don't talk much about sex since my parents sometimes read this and I have a hard time writing it knowing my mom or dad could possibly be reading later about that thing we did in bed last night.

2. [url=http://matherspartyof3.blogspot.com/]Mathers[/url] asked: [b]If you had to pick one what would it be: no more chocolate, or no more myspace?[/b]

Now now now Cristina my dear. I actually don't do much on Myspace. I go on there once a day to see if anyone is writing me. Then I'm basically done with it. There are a few people who refuse to get normal email so I have to contact them that way. Now if you had said give up chocolate or blogging..that would be a tuffy because blogging is such an amazing outlet for my stressers but chocolate is such a great remedy for those same stressers!

3. [url=http://blogversary.blogspot.com/]Blogversary[/url] asked: [b]What is your dream job?[/b]

You know, for a while I always thought I would answer being a chef. But I always watch those chefy TV shows and realize there is so much I don't know. While I would love to be Paula Dean I know I don't have the knowledge. So. I think the best way to answer this is to say, at this point in my life, my dream job would be to be a culinary student and later in life be a chef. HOWEVER! I would only want to go to a real culinary school somewhere like France you know, and since I have kids that isn't an option. And if you ask me if I would have waited to have my kids till after school the answer is NO! That's because I'm smart enough to know, had I gotten to the point where I completed school and was well known, chances are I would have not had children, similar to Rachael Ray. So I would rather be a wanna be chef and mom, then a well known chef and not a mom. Umm did any of this make sense?

4. [url=http://jenacide.blogspot.com/]Jen[/url] asked: [b]Do you have a favorite child?[/b]

Ahhh Jen, you are pure evil. I see you rubbing your hands together with an evil look on your face right now as you ask this! The answer is easy. Brandon is my favorite toddler and Codi is my favorite baby! Ha ha that's an answer right? To be honest right now I love them both the same. I don't think I can really compare the two because I know Brandon in such detail and I'm only still getting to know Codi. Sometimes I have to remember that Codi is so much younger and he is a different baby. I've actually tried to forget when Brandon hit all of his milestones, because he was really advanced. I don't want to spend Codi's whole life comparing him to Brandon so I really try and just look at them both separately. However, you can love the second as much as the first and I love them both so much it makes my whole body hurt!

5. [url=http://babymamaelyse.blogspot.com/]Hips.Lips.Mama[/url] asked: [b]Do you fake orgasms with your husband? how often?[/b]

Now just to prove to ya'll that I am human, I am totally blushing right now! The answer is NO! I don't. Not with my husband, but yes I have before. But lets be real here, if we were having that kind of problems in bed before we got married, I clearly wouldn't have married him now would I?

6. [url=http://ramblingsofheather.blogspot.com/]Heather[/url] asked: [b]What do you think you were most notorious for in high school..one moment everyone will remember?[/b]

Now since Heather went to school with me I actually think this a totally loaded question because there is no way you could go to school with me and not answer this!!! But for those of you who didn't go to school with me there is only one obvious answer. I was the girl that everyone thought had sex on the "G". Okay now to elaborate for those of you who don't get that. Here in Nevada we do this hicktastick little thing of painting GIANT letters of mountains for the part of town we are in (this sounds so corny if you don't live here) for example, if you drive by Reno there will be a huge huge "R" on one of the mountains. I believe we have a P for Peavine and D for Damonte and of course a G for Galena, as in Galena High School. Anyway one day before cheer leading practice a friend of mine who I will allow to remain nameless and I walked back to the teachers parking lot to hang out. He wanted to smoke before football and I had a crush on him so I was just tagging along. Well hanging out let do making out and totally fooling around right behind the teachers parking lot. Only kissing. Even if we had had the time, or the desire, we couldn't have done more if we wanted. Anyway I went to cheer practice and a friend asked where I was. I had said that I was making out with the guy and as a joke said yeah we were totally fucking on the G. The head cheer leader of the Varsity team (I was a freshman at this time) heard this, and told the coach. The coach then told the principal who told my mom whose first question to me was, "did you come?" Now, a few points of interest. My senior year in PE I got a chance to walk to the "G". It took a full hour to walk there and in fact, for those who didn't run half of it, you couldn't even make it in the hour. The track team claims to have pictures of the event taking place. Interesting since, A: the track team didn't run there and B: Track practice wouldn't have been started yet as it was only 15 minutes after school got out and C: What kind of athlete carries a camera while running up a mountain? Anyway some of you might ask why I didn't just deny it since it wasn't true. Well there is an easy answer to this. I talked to the guy before I was called into the principals office. He thought the whole thing was so funny that ridiculous that no one would actually believe it. We decided to never confirm or deny what happened. When I was called into the principals office they never, not one single time asked me if it happened. Instead they took the word of the head cheer leader and just went with it. It is because of this one moment in school that I lost all faith in the school system, because a good coach or principal would have asked me What if anything happened don't you think? Anyway while the whole thing never happened, and we were only actually gone for 15 minutes, He and I both go down in history as the couple who had sex on the "G". To this day people still ask me and him about it. He and I often run into each other in public and when we do people always look at as and you can tell they are just dying to ask. My favorite part is that people from other schools heard that "someone" did that and I love when they ask me, if I knew the girl who had sex on the "G"! I thin I'm going to email him right now and have a laugh with him about all of this.

7. [url=http://memoryloss.blogspot.com/]Amnesia[/url] asked: [b]What is the hardest time you have had in your marriage?What got you there? What was your darkest hour? And what got you out of it?[/b]

Wow! This is a great question. While my marriage isn't perfect, because none are, I don't honestly know if we have had anything that fills this category yet. It's only been 3 years and I think the itch comes around 7 right? There are plenty of things we do to get on each others nerves, and damn we push each other buttons but I'm not real sure there have been those awful times. Wait, I take that back. There was one time during both pregnancies where I got really evil and demonic and tried to throw him out, for reasons like, he didn't come to bed at the right time. You know, very important stuff. I think mainly our biggest problems now are, me wondering how on earth he gets toothpaste splatters on the mirror so damn soon after I clean it, and him wondering how on earth I get so many crumbs on the floor!

8. [url=http://eramblings.wordpress.com/]Heidi[/url] asked: [b]What do you do when you want to wear flip flops? Do you not wear pants that day?[/b]

This was her question asked in response to me having to put my socks on before my pants. The answer is NO DORK I don't put my flip flops on before my pants. However, I looove flip flops and I loathe shoes which is why this snow is agitating the fuck out of me. When I do wear shoes I prefer Vans with no laces!

9. [url=http://ipromisenottolaughduringtheseance.blogspot.com/]Laura[/url] asked: [b]Tell us your worst OMG Aunt Flo is here and I'm unprepared moment. You know you have one.[/b]

I soooo have one! It was my first one. I think I was about 12ish. My mom and my cousin and I drove down to Sacramento for the weekend. We stayed at the Holiday Inn on Date Ave (I still stay there). Anyway we were in the hotel room and I was wearing this swirly pastel spandex (yes spandex) pants. My mom suddenly looks down at me and is like OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT! I looked down and my pastel pants were RED!!!!! All the sudden everyone starts jumping around the room shouting OH MY GOSH YOU GOT YOUR PERIOD. So I flip out and now that I see the blood I feel cramps. I jump out of the pants and undies and my mom throws them in the toilet (????) Then since we were totally unprepared she tells me to sit on the toilet. So I'm sitting on the toilet and my mom calls room service and somehow convinces one of the employees to go to the gift shop and buy me a bag of pads. I spent the rest of the trip in pain and the whole car ride laying in the back whining. Sooo embarrassing that I didn't even know it had happened I just sat there bleeding on myself!

10. [url=http://arambledlife.wordpress.com/]Jessa[/url] asked: [b]What book could you read again and again without getting sick of it?[/b]

To be totally honest I have yet to find THE BOOK! When I was younger I would have said [link=http://www.amazon.com/Wind-Blows-Backward-Mary-Downing/dp/0380775301]this book[/link]. In fact I still love this book and have read it bajillions of times. For now, I would say old issues of Everyday with Rachael Ray would be my favorites to reread. I'm such a nerd!

11. [url=http://sarahewho.blogspot.com/]imoveforward[/url] asked: [b]How long have you been writing? Do you write other things besides your blog?[/b]

Hmmm. I've been writing forever. Since I can remember. I started out just writing in journals. Writing a lot of poetry and seriously ya'll if I can locate some of those books I'm shameless enough that I will totally post some of my trash for you. When I moved out I started a computer journal and then about 2.5 years ago I started blogging on Yahoo 360. I stumbled upon Emerys blog on Blogger and loved it so much I moved. I also blog [url=http://phatsophotos.blogspot.com/]here[/url] and [url=http://tasteytemptations.blogspot.com/]here[/url]! I also have a blog that I write to each of my sons (which I really need to update). Those links are on my current blog called Letters to (insert childs name here). And finally I have a private blog about Rob and I's love story. It is private because it talks a lot about sex and boys and what not and I got all nervous that my parents would read it and my dad would be like SHE WAS DOING WHAT WITH WHO!

12. [url=http://fragmentedsentences.blogspot.com/]Shawna[/url] asked ( a lot): [b]Do you remember when you realized you were different?[/b]

There has never been a time I didn't know I was crazy![b]Different/Crazy in what way?[/b]I always just knew that I got sad and withdrawn more, and that not everyone was as open as me.[b]Have you ever diagnosed yourself?[/b]YES! I have mild OCD, and I'm bi-polar. I've been A LOT of other things over the years, seriously taking a bunch of psych classes in college totally fucks with your head.[b]Have you ever been professionally diagnosed?[/b]Yes with bi-polar disorder.[b]Have you ever seeked professional help?[/b]Yeah twice. The first time when I was younger and the second time when I first started dating Rob. Neither time helped. It didn't help because being bi-polar, I come out of my hole. That means seeing a counselor was useless during those times of good, and during the times of bad, I wouldn't go because I didn't want help, I wanted to be destructive. Also they all felt condescending and judgmental and rude and like they were bored and only there for the money.[b]I know you currently don?t but have you ever taken prescription meds? Did they help? Not help? (I totally understand not wanting to take meds)[/b]Yeah the only one I agreed to try was Sarafem which is for PMDD. They said if I took it, it would help with the bi-polar disorder. I thought it was retarded and took a few classes in college and learned that I was in control of my own destiny.[b]How do your loved ones handle your ?craziness?? (i.e. Rob , mom, dad (step dad), friends)[/b]Ummm, first my "dad" (sperm doner) is who gave me this shit but he wasn't around long enough to know. The rest of my family didn't really know because I hid it. I didn't want to be the weird one or the bad one or whatever. Now, they kinda just let me be who I be![b]Do you know the people/person that gave you the date rape drug?[/b]The time that you are talking about he was the son of the head of a church camp I went to. Another time my cousin and I got dosed by some football players but by the grace of God got out of there and I only ended up running over her mail box (twice) before passing out in my car on the side of McCarran![b]Do you feel in control of your ?craziness??[/b]Until I go crazy![b]Do you realize when you are being crazy at the time you are being it? Or is it in retrospect? Or after someone has brought it to your attention?[/b]I totally realize it. I realize it mostly because I almost encourage it. Like I get sad and go away in my head and then I will do stupid shit like pull out pictures and letters from my dead grandma to see just how sad I can get. Or like the time I wisely went to the Coronor and got a copy of my dads death certificate?????? Yes I am very very aware of when I am there, it is because of that I am also able to hide it so well.[b]Do you think you are crazy by circumstance or genetics? (like a chemical imbalance) I remember reading about your dad and grandma and realize at an early age you lost some very important people in your life, after reading what you wrote yesterday I realize you have other devastating circumstances that occurred in your life, do you think these things attributed to the crazies, or caused it?[/b]I think it is both. It is safe to say a good portion of my dads side of the family is batshit crazy and a pretty good portion of my moms side also has some interesting quirks. However, I think my dad being a selfish prick and killing himself really opened the flood gates of crazy especially because not many 12 year olds know how to comprehend suicide and it took a lot of crazy to realize how I really felt about that. But to be totally honest I think I've always been crazy and I think I'll always be crazy!!

13. [url=http://snapeamommy.blogspot.com/]Mrs. F[/url] and [url=http://pixiedustlife.blogspot.com/]Angie[/url] both want to know: [b]When you say you disappear into a dark place...what does that feel like? Is it like a place you remember going (not a real place but you know) or is it just like a black out kind of?[/b]

Sigh. I really don't know how to describe this. You know that commercial with the guy walking around with a rain cloud over his head that follows him? It's kind of like that. It's like suddenly everywhere I or step or look feels miserable. I hate how I look (this is when I pick my face the most), I hate how I feel and since I often go there for no reason I start looking for reasons. I'm still here, I don't envision dark scary places or anything, it just feels as though there is a shadow over my day and sometimes the shadow closes in on me and sort of swaddles me in its darkness until I feel like I can barely breath anymore and I just want to sit in a corner and cry. My husband has found me there before, sitting in a corner by my bed crying for no reason. However I found a reason. See, I was going there, I was headed to the rain cloud and I needed a reason (I like to have reasons it makes me feel less crazy) so I picked a fight with him. The fight made me snap and the next thing I knew I was just crying. This leads to me suddenly crying about being fat, ugly, poor, stupid, a bad mom, missing my grandma and on and on and on and on. I think I find every reason possible to cry until I've used it all up and then I just sit there numb. I kind of turn on auto pilot. I drive myself to work, I work and I come home. But the whole time it feels like I need an inhaler because the pressure of the world crushes my whole entire body. There are songs that send me there instantly and places and faces and books and things I've written. I used to spend hours and hours and hours in my bedroom with my Christmas lights on and a Tupac song on repeat just writing poem after poem after poem trying to work my way out of my hole. The only thing is that I self destruct as I do it. I pick music that makes it impossible to be happy. I write things that make light seem so far off. I dredge up old memories making it easier to slip into my hole and make it feel like maybe I really do belong there.

14. [url=http://fragmentedsentences.blogspot.com/]Shawna[/url] also asked: [b]What is your favorite post you have ever written out of the 1,000?[/b]

I don't have favorites. I like them all. Although the recent post about eating shit in the snow was a good one![b]Which post has received the most comments?[/b]31 comments the day Codi was born. You all suck at commenting I happen to know I have over 100 people visit here each day and I get a lousy 31 comments. SHAME ON YOU![b]Is there a post you wish you would have never written?[/b]No, I don't think so, because if I hadn't have written em all I would have probably exploded with diarrhea of the mouth onto my friends and then they would egg my car!

15. [url=http://incubationnation.blogspot.com/]Saly[/url] wants to know: [b]How I got so into cooking?[/b]

NO CLUE! It is in my blood I think. Also, I like to eat food taste good, it makes me happy and I think I have an urge to make those I love happy (like my husband) so I really enjoy cooking knowing what I make will make you smile. I truly believe that if you cook food with love in your heart, and you put passion into it, it will taste amazing. The nights I'm tired and in a hurry and I don't stop to love my food, those are the nights I warn Rob ahead that it's totally okay if he wants to dump the meal and go to KFC!

Saly also wanted to know: [b]Your posts suggest that you have zero boundaries. I want to know if you are the same in your every day life, and if so, how did you get to be the way that you are (which clearly, is awesome).[/b]

I decided rather then answer this on my own I would ask the three friends who have known me the longest and know me the best. Because after all, I could answer this and totally lie since it's my own blog, you would never know right. So instead I wanted to make sure you got the truth from those who know my truth! Here are their answers![i]Lisa[/i] said: Yup basically the exact same! Only difference is you have to imagine the stuff you blog about is only a couple minutes out of your day. So the bluntness, and dorkiness is EXTREMELY magnified when you have 24/7 Shannon. You have ALWAYS had no problem telling a complete stranger all of your business down to every detail. So you having a blog just makes sense. It kind of also gives us a break from the stupid, I mean unusual, thoughts that happen to run thru your head. Instead of getting a phone call every time your sons poop changes colors, now I only get half the calls and get to read about the other half online.[i]Katie[/i] said: Mmmm, lets see is Shannon the same in real-life? I would have to say yes ? definitely! Shannon has always been pretty open with her life and she is a talker, so her blog gives her the opportunity to meet and talk to a whole other community of friends.[i]Ginger[/i] said: Ha, I love that someone would even ask that. I mean really, would you share with complete strangers that you hate it when your so cold that your pee burns you if you wouldn't share that with your dearest friends. If you could even consider that i would be sincerely hurt. Ok, I am going to type the rest of this like I am talking about you behind your back to your blog readers...Shannon and Rob are exactly like that she describes, totally in love but get in 'fights' about the stupidest stuff...not that I would really consider half of their 'fights' really fights...and it still baffles me when they send each other text messages from across the living room (probably talking about their guests so they can talk about them behind their backs, right in front of their faces!).And really, I'm not kidding about Shannon calling you up or sending you a text message to tell her that she is so cold her pee just burned her...that is if she isn't calling you for help to lift her off the floor and drag her to the bathroom because she is laughing so hard at something she migth pee her pants if she tried to stand up on her own...but that only happened once. Or twice. Or, well, maybe a few more times.Her adversion to hugs and touchy touchyness is completely true. A while back, when she was pregnant with Codi, me and (I think) her cousin were going out (maybe for Rob's b-day) and she had him take a picture off all of us with our hands on her belly. I was so uncomfortable that i think I may have levitated my hand over her belly without really touching it because that's just not how Shannon is, she is so not a "let's hug and here, rub my pregnant belly" kind of person. But she makes up for her lack of touchy touchyness by doing silly things like buying you an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins that consists of exactly 1 scoop of ice cream and about 10lbs of icing all because you mention on your blog that you want an ice cream cake, but that you only want to eat the frosting off of it.And her passionate obsession with good food really is something to marvel at. I've known Shannon for a long time. As she started talking about recently, she had some issues with food in the past. And let's not even go into her mom's severe aversion to using salt on ANYTHING (so weird, I just don't get it, I mean I don't by any means over use salt but salt really does make food taste better). Shannon and i went through a period of a few years were we didn't really see each other (I tried to break up with her) and when we finally got back together she suddenly was this foodie. This Wusthof obsessed foodie. I absolutely love this about her now because I am a total foodie as well (or want-to-be-foodie anyways). And, while I've never seen her have an orgasm (thank god, that would be awkward), the only way to describe her reaction to a great dessert or, well, a good bowl of ice cream, is like a mini-food orgasm (or foodgasm). On that note, she really does say words in real life like dudealicious and her use of the word uber is really spectacular (if you could call it that).And she really does have her dark side, and her messy past, but you guys probably all know that from reading her blog.And finally, yes, her kids REALLY are as cute as they seem and she really is as great of a mom as she seems. And her obsession with finding the perfect diaper bag really was a little over the top. And she really does elict slave labor from her friends to paint her newborns room. And she really does brag about anything she possibly can because, as she states it "It hurts being this awesome."Ok, so that was so much longer than I thought it would be but if you are posting it on your blog it's got to be good, right?I decided to ask my husband ([i]Rob[/i]) too and here is what he said: i think that shannon is the same as in her blog as in her life to a point. she does cuss the same amount...lol. shes fun and crazy, but she is also much more reserve. i think that when she writes, shes the crazy shannon that she will always be. but because shes a mother of 2 she cant be. she has her moments tho..lol

Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Feb. 6, 2008


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