Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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Share with me your very odd fears

Last night making dinner I was shredding cheese and like always I caught my finger nail in it.  I told my husband and he replied, "yeah I'm afraid of those things." I kind of played it off like that was totally normal but this morning while I was loading the dishwasher I found myself laughing pretty loudly at the absurdity of being afraid of a cheese grater.  Now OBVIOUSLY I can't talk because I'm afraid of pretty much everything (water glasses, grass etc), but that doesn't mean I can't laugh at his ass. 

That got me thinking, wondering, what kind of strange odd things are other people afraid of?  So, please share with me your odd, strange and laughable fears.  I promise not to laugh. 

 

(I "promise" that I didn't just cross my fingers behind my back while I said I wouldn't laugh.)

 

In other news I have made a breakthrough on the glass thing. I still can't drink out of a regular glass, I still refuse to touch my lips to a restaurant glass (I am slowly learning to drink water from a glass at some restaurants) HOWEVER! I have discovered that at home I can drink out of mason jar cups.  Yes I have found a glass I like.  I have three right now.  One with a handle, an old old old Jack in the Box mason jar glass I got at a garage sale, one from the apricot jam my husband's uncle makes, and one that just appeared in my cupboard one day.  So YAY for me right?  I am kind of thinking of hitting up some second hand stores and just replacing all of my normal glasses with mason jars so I can feel sort of normal.

Ha, suddenly a fear of a cheese grater doesn't seem quite as bad.

But still much much more funny.

 

(Also did you notice my use of the word absurd?  I think I have read the Twilight series one too many times because Edward says that every three pages.  I was highly annoyed he never said it once in the movie.  Nor did they say I love you.  Movie producers suck balls.)


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Jan. 9, 2010

Comments

Jan. 09 2010
cakerwakers said…
I am afraid to cut my kids' nails. I always think that I am going to clip too far and make them bleed. I also can't stand to watch other people shave. Terrifying. I always think that they are going to gash their skin.
Jan. 09 2010
thecrazysuburbanmom said…
Since we're going there... Restaurants! If I want ketchup or something thats on tables..Anything thats on tables...salt. I ask for the to-go packets. My family thinks Im bizarre and I don't visit my bizarreness on them but who knows they the person before me did in the ketchup bottle? Okay I have to go relax now just thinking about that Tracy
Jan. 09 2010
Misguided Mommy said…
Crazy Suburban mom, my husband is going to kill you for putting this in my head I on the other hand thank you greatly from saving myself from possible amazon illness related cooties that I could have gotten in a jar of ketchup
Jan. 09 2010
Sabrina said…
I don't know if any of mine are funny since they are very serious to me, but you might think I'm weird. I am afraid of cars. Driving, riding, everything. I am especially afraid of cars in big cities. I basically hide under a blanket and bawl my eyes out until we see trees again. I HATE driving and I only do it when I absolutely have to. Also, bugs and mice and other such creepiness. I will straight up freak out. I once tried to jump out of a moving car because there was a cricket in the front seat. I'm too afraid to kill them. I just can't. I'm afraid of being alone. When Tony deploys, I sleep with the light on, not because I'm afraid of the dark, but because I think someone will try to break in and maybe the light will scare them off. And I have to leave my blinds closed or curtains drawn all the time because I'm worried someone will be able to see in. I have to be surrounded by pillows when I sleep because I'm pretty sure a monster with really long arms will reach out from under my bed and touch me. In fact, I'm sorta afraid of the under part of everything. Just sitting on a couch gives me the willies. I think I saw a movie when I was a kid that damaged me a little. And thunder. Lightening doesn't bother me, but thunder makes me shake and panic. I don't really get it either since I know it's just a sound that can't hurt me, but there ya go. And normal stuff like heights and deep water (I think this is part of the under thing since I'm afraid something will grab onto me a pull me down) and I'm kinda claustrophobic.
Jan. 09 2010
Misguided Mommy said…
Sabrina Oh we have discussed the being alone thing, I am so there with you. Dude the car in a big city, I thought that was only me. I can't tell you nervous I get driving in San Francisco with all the one way streets and hills and asshole drivers and people on bikes. And riding in a cab in NYC I only wish I had known about xannax at that time.
Jan. 09 2010
Swistle said…
I am afraid of dark windows if I'm inside where it's light, because I'm afraid of being shot, and I'm afraid of dark windows if I'm outside because I'm afraid something horrible is happening inside the house (this is other people's houses, not mine, like if I'm driving past or walking past). I'm enough afraid of under-the-bed that we took out the frame and put our box spring on the floor.
Jan. 09 2010
Swistle said…
Oh, I thought of another one: at night, I'm afraid of the wind blowing---the more windy it is outside, the more scared I am. And if I'm outside and it is COLD and dark, I'm much more scared than if it's WARM and dark outside.
Jan. 09 2010
Misguided Mommy said…
Swistle OMG I am sooo afraid of the under the bed thing, and closet doors. Closet doors just kill me, I mean what if a murderer got in there and then came out at night and shot me. eeeeeek
Jan. 09 2010
Maureen said…
I'm afraid bugs and creepy crawlies. And I had some doozies in my garden last summer. I had a resident frog in my veggie garden and even though I knew it was there it scared the beejezus out of me every single time. I would jump out of my skin and land 5 feet back. Oh, and my sister is afraid of frozen hot dogs! Don't ask cuz I have no clue...
Jan. 09 2010
Someone Being Me said…
I have a fear of chalk and chalkboards. Not so much a fear as an aversion. I try not to even think about them because they make my skin crawl. The chalky dust on my hands, the screeching sound of chalk on the board, not to mention the whole fingernails on a chalkboard thing. Ugh, ok now my skin is crawling. If it was up to me they would be abolished and we would all use whiteboards or powerpoint.
Jan. 09 2010
steph said…
Besides the "normal" fears I have like spiders or when I get up to pee at night MAYBE there is someone lurking in the house.... I am scared of stairs. I cannot walk up or down stairs without looking at my feet because I think I'll fall. We have a basement, I can't really carry anything down or up from it because I could fall and break my neck ya know? The funny thing is I dont think I've ever fallen, its just a thing I have:)
Jan. 09 2010
Aimee said…
I am with Sabrina!!! My BIGGEST fear is cars. I think I have good reason since I was hit by one at the age of 7 and died and came back to life, was in another car accident as a teenager that required many nights at the hospital for internal bleeding, and a ouija board told me as a kid I would be killed in a car..... hmmmm. Fear? So I didn't get my license until I was 25 and I learned how to drive.... in NYC. Balls right? I figured if I was going to tackle this fear I would GO BIG. I did but I am still scared shitless to not only drive but be driven. I am the WORST backseat driver ever!!
Jan. 09 2010
Jacki said…
I'm afraid of flying alone. I have only flew alone once in my lifetime and that was when I was 23 and it was a local flight. I have never been so nervous. I didn't go home to Philippines alone. I made sure I have someone with me. The reason I'm scared is because I don't have any sense of direction and I might get lost in the airport, which terminal to go to, etc. I'm also scared that I might not wake up in the plane and have everyone leave me there or something...I'm also afraid of softballs coz I got hit on my nose before. Everytime I see people playing softball, I make sure I'm at a very far distance coz I feel the ball is gonna hit my nose again. I'm also afraid to drive that's why I don't know yet but this is one of my new yr resolutions. I need to drive by end of the year!
Jan. 09 2010
Billie said…
I can see being afraid of Cheese Graters. I don't usually grate a whole block of cheese cuz I worry about cutting something. =) Hmm... What else? Certain foods mixing. I'm not afraid, per say, but I'll get sick to my stomach. My friends make fun of me. LOL!
Jan. 09 2010
Lainey-Paney said…
I'm with your husband on the cheese grater thing. Cut yourself on one of those ONCE, and you aren't quick about forgetting it.... I'm just sayin'.... I'm afraid of running the vacuum when I'm home alone. Like---afraid that someone will break it, I won't hear them, and I'll be attacked in my own home. ...which brings me to the: I'm serious about locking all the doors and bathroom door when I am home alone taking a shower. I'm afraid of slipping & falling in the showe. I'm afraid of drowning. I'm afraid that a snake or spider will somehow appear in the toilet. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of LOTS of things. I'm afraid of drive-throughs. Not so much afraid of the actual drive through, but the fact that they are always so narrow & lines with things I can run my car into.
Jan. 09 2010
Lainey-Paney said…
I'm afraid of leaving the dryer running if I'm not going to be home. I'm afraid it might somehow catch on fire & burn my house down. I'm afraid of wiring & electricity, and all that jazz. DIY projects rock, but if it involves electricity at all---count me out.
Jan. 09 2010
chrissy berg said…
im scared of drinks from the bottom. bottom of the juice box or the bottom of my glass, i cant drink it. and im deathly afraid of milk. i only drink it if its chocolate (weird i no) and when i touch it i use a napkins so im not really touching it. and i stand far back when pouring it. i stray away from ketchup and all other condiments. if somebody asks me to pass them something i'll say no. but if i really have to ill pass it to them using a napkin to protect myself. oh and im afraid of trash, when i walk past trash cans or throw things away, i hold my breath. haha i always thought it was pretty normal until i started tryping it and read over it. wow.
Jan. 10 2010
the crazy suburban mom said…
I may have to unsubscribe due to all the new fears I now have and my family will have to put up with..
Jan. 10 2010
coffee slut said…
I USED to be afraid of lots of things (driving in snow and ice, the dark, being alone) ...now I think the only thing that I'm really scared of is vomiting ....I talk myself out of it and seriously haven't vomited for over 30 years. I know, I'm weird!
Jan. 11 2010
Lisa said…
Bedspreads at hotels, getting stuck in the dryer (don't even ASK ... I used to think it would be a great hiding place if someone ever came to rob the house ... but then the thought of a man opening it and me being stuck inside ... well, now the whole thought makes me want to puke!), standing near the inner rails at a mall .. .they sway too much and I am sure they will collapse when I am leaning on them ......
Jan. 11 2010
Just Jiff said…
I don't like turning off the light and walking to my bed, afraid that something will reach out and grab my leg so we hung a lamp above our bed. I don't like those little grates in the floor where the water drains because I'm afraid there is a camera down there trying to video my fat naked butt. And I don't like being home alone at night. My husband's dog had to be put to sleep last year and I felt safe with her in the house. Now that she's gone I want a big mean dog. We live in a safe neighborhood, but still.
Jan. 12 2010
Katie Mc said…
My biggest fear is the Will Smith movie "I am Legend." I will seriously not sleep for days if I think about it too much. I also have a crazy fear that everyone will turn into vampire/zombie things that eat people and live in dark warehouses with every new vaccine that is introduced because of the movie.
Jan. 12 2010
Britt said…
I'm afraid of metal detectors because I once set one off and it took FOREVER to figure out what did it. It was a gum wrapper. A GUM WRAPPER! Now I'm paranoid of setting them off.

 

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