Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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I never knew

I never thought I would be the first one of my friends married. I always assumed I would be 30 and still playing the game.

I never thought I would wish I hadn’t sold my fat pants.

I never thought I would utter the words, “put your poop down, that is not play dough!”

I never thought I would miss the slightly sweet smell of a newborns diaper.

I never thought I would file bankruptcy.

I never thought my life would become more informed and improved from bankruptcy.

I never expected to trade in y girly books to read the bible or books on money management. http://www.totalmoneymakeover.com/

I never knew that a four year old could poop that much.

I never expected to hear my son say “look how much I pooped, it’s big huh mom?”

I never thought I would have to tell another kid to take my kids poop out of his mouth.

I never expected to be the mom who wanted to bring the best preschool snacks just so I could win at preschool.

I never thought I would rely so heavily on a calendar and schedule. If I forget my Iphone my world collapses with out Ical.

I never thought I would be 27 and still not know how to spell calendar. Thank God for spell check.

I never thought I would grow up and think that putting a cute shirt over my pajama pants would be a perfectly acceptable outfit.

I never knew I would still be on drugs at this age, I just traded in recreational ones for legal ones. Wooohooo for being legal huh?

I never expected to prefer wine to chugging Aftershock straight out of the bottle.

I never thought I would spend the morning looking for shirts that cover my boobs rather then spend an hour figuring out which one would push them up and show them off the most.
 


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Aug. 26, 2009

Comments

Aug. 26 2009
cakerwakers said…
I never thought I would yell at my kids as much as I do. I never thought I would actually cook dinner for my family. That is man's work. I never thought that I would be so overwhelmingly consumed with everything involving my kids. I worry about food, clothes, school, etc. It is exhausting. I never thought I would enjoy staying home as much as I do. The first few months as a SAMH, I secretly wished I could go back to work. But now? I never want to go back. NEVER.
Aug. 26 2009
Marni said…
I never knew a haircut could make you cry so much. I never knew how much much my hair really meant to my self esteem. I never thought that every time things feel like they are going to fall apart, one more fucking thing happens. I never knew that one more kid was going to send my thoughts in scary overdrive. I never knew I'd grow up and just silently hate my husband when he's being a dumbass.
Aug. 27 2009
Valley Girl said…
Sounds like you've come a long way, doll. Love your blog...always makes me look forward to being a mommy, too.
Aug. 27 2009
Just Jiff said…
I never knew I'd be married with a daughter and a stepson. I never knew I'd move back to my hometown. I never knew I would marry the guy from down the street that I had a huge crush on as a kid.
Aug. 28 2009
Alicia said…
I never knew that I would grow up and work at the same shit hole for 9 years with the same dumbasses I can't stand. Never thought I would still be with my highschool sweetheart and we would pay 1000 dollars in daycare a month. Never would have thought that I could love three people so much that I would kill for if they were ever hurt. LOVE this post! Thank you
Aug. 28 2009
hobbychanger said…
I never thought I'd have any sort of cleavage or a super strict dress code at work. I get the super strict dress code and my body decides to grow boobs. Dress code=0 hints at any sort of boobage. I never thought I'd live in a teeny tiny shit apartment by myself, yet now I LOVE IT. I never thought I'd marry a coworker--yet I am next June.

 

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