Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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Dear son AGAIN

When I ask you to please stop bouncing the ball off the table the appropriate response is "okay mom, I'm sorry." The inappropriate response is "Mom you stop saying stop I can do whatever I do!"

 

When I ask you to please stop jumping on my couch that does not mean wait until I leave the room and stand on my chair, jump onto my couch and somersault across the pillows.  Trust me, that is exactly the opposite of what I asked you to do!

Attn smaller son: When I ask you to please taste a bite of macaroni it does NOT mean scream and cry and blubber and gag yourself from the fear that a macaroni noodle will KILL YOU DEAD and make daddy ask me to stop picking on you.  Next time just taste the goddamn fucking noodle!

Brandon when you are hungry and you want some spaghetti the correct way is to ask if you can please have some spaghetti.  The incorrect way is to say, "Mom I want some spaghetti so get me some now."

Further more, when I reply that I will get you some spaghetti please don't say, "well get it then, now."  This is not 1950 and I am not your bitch!

When I tell you to eat or I'm turning off the TV in the morning you should eat.  You should just eat.  You should not tell me NO and then when the TV gets shut off tell me "TURN IT ON  NOW MOM, turn the TV on, I'm going to turn it on."  As a bonus it is a bad idea to then "whisper" to your little brother to turn it on.  When I again ask you to eat, please don't shout, "BE QUIET, I'M REALLY REALLY EATING AND YOU STOP JOKING."  Adding insult to injury to not stop groaning and growling at me and slamming your spoon on the table.  News flash! This will not get me to turn the TV on faster!

Again to the little son: When I turn off the TV because your brother is being a little brat face DO NOT run over and turn it back on repeatedly while laughing at what you've done.  You know it's bad STOP GANGING UP ON ME!

 

Thank you,

Have a nice day.

 

P.S. Note to spell check, please please for the love of gosh will you learn that fuck is in fact a word, grab a Websters, look it up, I wouldn't lie!

 

 


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Aug. 17, 2009

Comments

Aug. 17 2009
Patty said…
Dude, next time turn off the TV... unplug it as well! Or heck unplug before freakfast and just say whoops its broken. That way they can't tag team you! They are too young to work against you! Oh Boy!
Aug. 17 2009
Patty said…
I meant Breakfast! LOL
Aug. 17 2009
Misguided Mommy said…
Patty: The worst part is I NEVER let them eat in front of the TV and I thought I would be nice and let them this morning and they totally already lost that privelage!
Aug. 17 2009
erika said…
my boys are assholes also. yeah i said it.
Aug. 17 2009
Lainey-Painey said…
I think it's fair to say---that day, you had your arse handed to you. In all seriousness----we're working on the way we ask for things around here, and minding, etc. I'm having to hold back on doing certain things for our little dude until he asks nicely...
Aug. 17 2009
Sarah Lynn said…
"This is not 1950 and I am not your bitch!" hahaha! Funniest answer ever, you rock! :-D Can I used that when I'm married? heehee!
Aug. 18 2009
Lisa said…
OMG OMG OMG ... Do you live in MY house with MY two boys??????

 

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