Tales of a Misguided Mommy

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Stuff

I had to ask my 20 month old permission to go pee tonight.

I have a pimple on my nose, right here [come closer, do you see it], it is making fucking crazy because it's right in a place that I can't poke it good but it's in a place that is super obvious.

Mrs. F got her present today for winning the about me contest like 800 years ago.  She got a gift card for a pedicure to Polished Nail Bar in her town.

Now I want a pedicure.

Talk about sexy, last night my husband came down stairs to find me sitting on the couch with a trash in front of me scraping my feet.  Yeah, I'm that hot.  It's totally amazing someone married me huh?

I just made the best chocolate chip cookies.  Crispy and crunchy on the outside and ooooey gooey on the inside.  I'm trying to eat good so I stopped at three cookies.

I meant to stop at one.

Then I meant to stop at two.

Oops.

I've got a hot little black pajama thing on tonight.

No one else would think it looks hot besides me, because you know, you get a little tired and suddenly you think you are Americas Next Top Model.

If models could be five foot one inch tall.

What kind of bullshit is that, where are all the skinny girls of the world HOLLA!

Last night my husband and I sat in bed showing each other Iphone aps.  WE ARE SO NERDY.

School supply season is killing me.  I'm not sure you understand how much I love school supplies.  Y'all I want backpacks and notebooks, and freshly sharpened pencils and new pens in pink and purple and blue and green, with little post it flags and a brand new calculator that does formulas and binders and I LOVE SCHOOL SUPPLIES.  I think i could be a professional note taker.  I heart taking notes.

I heart lists more.

I have lists that list my lists.

I like bullets too. 

A list with bullets ooooh now were talking.

I'm finicky about pens.  If I have found a pen I like the worst thing you could do is take it off my desk.  I get mad enough if you even use it while you are at my desk, but taking it from my desk and putting it on your desk is like asking for the biggest paper cut of your life or maybe having your hand stapled to your desk. DON'T TOUCH MY PENS.

I feel like there is a hierarchy to pens.  The longer you have worked somewhere the more fabulous your pens can be.  Although, none of my pens are fabulous but still I feel like I've been at my job long enough to order 3 of my favorite blue pens at once, but the other people who haven't been there as long soooo can not be picky about pens.

Who actually writes a whole fucking paragraph about pens?

I am watching More To Love right now.  Ginger mentioned it and now I'm pretty sure I am hooked.  Plus WOOHOO a show I would actually be eligable for with all of my jelly.

I can't wait for my husband to get home from softball so he can tell me how good the special cookies I made him are.

Remember the ones that are CRISP on the outside and CHEWY on the outside.

Peace out fools!

 PS over 9 months and my blog spell check is still trying to tell me that fuck, fucking, fucker and fucked are not words.  Stupid fucking spell check.

 


Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Aug. 11, 2009

Comments

Aug. 12 2009
aimee said…
HAAAAAAAA. Stupid fucking spell check. HA! Look at you all hot shit in the black thingy--whoot whoot! Hope you aren't singing Miley Cyrus too :-)
Aug. 12 2009
Just Jiff said…
Spell check didn't catch that you said WORKS instead of WORDS. heh. Cookies sound awesome. I want some. I am with you on the school/office supplies. My fave pen (and I've gotten more than half of my 30 docs addicted to it) is the Dr. Grip Center of Gravity pen. It's soooo awesome. It's not too fat, but not skinny (I wish I could say like me. LOL) and the weight is PERFECT. Its my Goldilocks pen. eehheh. I'll have to send you one. They're like $10 through Staples.And they are refillable. Mine is pink. I watched Hannah Montana and Wizards of Waverly Place last night. WWP is my fave Disney show. love it! Hubby asked why I was watching it. I said, "Cause I like it." He made fun of me, but sat and watched it with me. Asshat. Not to sound all pedophilish, but I think the older brother on WWP - can't remember his name - is VERY cute.
Aug. 12 2009
Sarah Lynn said…
Mmm I love chocolate chip cookies. I really want to make some chocolate chip muffins, they are the best! You & your hubby, showing each other the ipod apps, reminds me of me & my fiance. We are nerdy, techy like that! And dont' get me started on pens. I LOVE Bic Atlantis. Favorite pen ever, I got so excited when I found them in a bookstore in the Philippines, haha. Only over there they sell them 1 at a time instead of in packs. I always buy my pens in bulk at office stores. :)
Aug. 12 2009
Marni said…
Wait, you touched your feet. That is like so totally gross. Isn't that a fetish or something of yours? ;-)
Aug. 13 2009
erika said…
you got a ped egg huh? i luve mine.
Aug. 13 2009
Mrs. F said…
Holy shit. I am pretty sure I giggled the whole way through this post, You are so random and hilarious!! I think I am going to scrape all the dead skin off my feet before I go redeem that gift certificate. It is humiliating how bad they are. haha. Is that stupid?
Aug. 13 2009
Mrs. F said…
Also, I just want to say it publicly in a comment on your blog that I think you are super awesome and extremely thoughtful to go to all the trouble of researching my neighborhood and finding a salon for me to go to! BEST. PRIZE. EVER.
Aug. 13 2009
kristi said…
Brought my TX blog back. Fuck 'em all!! I hate feet. But I scrape mine because I can't deal with my feet being crusty.

 

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