Tales of a Misguided Mommy

It is too early for this conversation

This conversation takes place this morning while I was attempting to change my maxi pad only seconds after waking up.

Brandon: Mommy what is that for

Me: Oh honey it's nothing it's just for mommies okay

Brandon: NO WHAT IS IT?

Me: (sigh) Well umm, it is kinda like a bandaid for mommy

Brandon: OOOOOO are you bleeding out your butt

Me: Uggg, no dear, uh.  Mommies have special girl parts that sometimes bleed

Brandon: Turns around pulls open his pants, grabs his man junk and says, "Oh, okay mommy, well today I just have my pee pee so I won't bleed, bye"


It was too damn early for this talk.  And yes I could have said it was like a diaper, but I so don't need him telling some random person that I'm wearing a diaper.  Man, couldn't he ask me shit like this after I've had my coffee?

Love, Misguided Mommy

posted on Apr. 3, 2009


Apr. 03 2009
Lainey-Paney said…
well, lord knows that I rarely get any alone time in the bathroom---so yes, Gage has said in the past "those are Mommy's diapers" in the drawer where I keep my stuff....
Apr. 03 2009
kristi said…
I'll never forget when my little brother wanted to be like his 3 older sisters and he came out of the bathroom with a pad on! Priceless!
Apr. 03 2009
Julia said…
Sorry but the "are you bleeding out of your butt" part made me laugh. Jayla loves handing me my pads and last time she took one ran out in the living room and handed one to Jarret too...
Apr. 03 2009
Aimee said…
I spit my coffee out reading this! Ah...the joy of boys! I wonder if he will ask you everytime you are in the bathroom if your lady parts are bleeding :-)
Apr. 03 2009
Ginger said…
LOL!!! You know he's gonna start telling people that because you are his mommy you have special parts that you bleed out of, right?
Apr. 03 2009
Christy said…
Fortunately, I have never had to answer these questions - YET. However, Izzy often tries to help me wipe. It is bizarre and weird. He takes toilet paper and shoves it between my legs and I am all "go away creepy kid."
Apr. 03 2009
Billie said…
HAHA! At least it makes life interesting! My young SIL will see my tampons and ask what they are... I think that's a conversation for her mom and not one I feel like having. LOL!
Apr. 04 2009
Valley Girl said…
OMG your blog is just too much cuteness.
Apr. 04 2009
Tabitha said…
Oh My ~ that is soooo funny! I have had many conversations like that with both my kids ~ Next is the "where do babies come from" questions ~ which I am dealing with in my own special way (by not answering them ~ YET! ha ha ) XX
Apr. 04 2009
Mom said…
Today he found Papa's Penthouse (maybe mine) in the bathroom. He found a page with 2 girls on it and told papa nice butt's yes he is only 3. Then he turned the pages and I guess lost that page. Thats when I came in and said what the heck is going on! Brandon just looked up and said I'm looking for them girls. Not Ok Papa!
Apr. 04 2009
Nellie said…
Oh my gosh... that is way too funny!
Apr. 06 2009
Patty said…
That is just so funny! Kids don't miss a beat at all. The part where he says I'm gonna pee, he's probably thinking "Ok Momma, you do what you want to but I'm not gonna!"
Apr. 06 2009
Mrs. F said…
OMG, that is hilarious. It reminds me of the time my niece was over right after I had Caleb. She was 3 years old and standing at the bathroom door. I had to tell her to go ask her uncle for a pad. When she brought it to me she asked what it was and I told her it was a diaper. She ran around the house giggling like a madwoman and chanting "Diaper, diaper, diaperrrrrr".
Apr. 09 2009
Angie said…
HILARIOUS!!! I love Brandon! One time when Anthony was little he asked my sister what she was using and she was like it's nothing put your head back in the shower...well she was using a tampon so at the dinner table he happily proclaimed that my sister stuck string cheese in her butt today while going to the bathroom! I thought my brother in law was going to lose it right there!


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