The first time was a fluke..but the second time...I'm worried
4.26.2013 - 2 comments
Last night I dreamt I was on a field trip with my kids. In the dream I was eating little gummy candies with them. When I ate my last candy I started thinking, "this one is stale, and it's very chewy and not good at all." That was the exact moment I woke up and found another fucking ear plug in my mouth.
My name is Shannon and I have not eaten a potato chip in 25 days
4.17.2013 - 1 comment
Most of you are reading that title thinking it's no big deal. Y'all, it's a big fucking deal. If you know anything about me you know that my favorite food is potatoes. A subset of potatoes is potato chips. I love them. I love them probably more then chocolate. I love them about as much as I love my husband.
In the event of an accident my boobs are totally safe
4.3.2013 - 0 comments
I purchased some new bras this week. A ton of them. They are amazing. However two of them came with these little air bags in them.
What's in my purse....mega purse edition
3.29.2013 - 3 comments
So. I got myself a new purse about two weeks ago. I knew that with Little League starting I would need a bigger purse because I stuff snacks, and clothes, and other random things like a 5 year olds "cup" when he doesn't wanna wear it inside my bag.
If I was more of a sissy I would be at the hospital right now
3.24.2013 - 0 comments
Yesterday was one of those days when I should have just...gotten right back into bed and not left until the sun went down. I started the morning telling myself I was going to run. Before anyone else woke up I was going to take time for me and run. I grabbed the leash and took the dog and set off on my way. I got about 14 feet into the run before I twisted my ankle. I kept going though. The dog was a menace, he chased birds, bushes, shadows and air. It was ridiculous. I looked like a total knucklehead running with that dog. Then exactly .50 miles into the run the dog stopped right in front of a bus load of people to take a shit. He was taking a while so I took my phone out of my sports bra to pause my time so it didn't slow me down. He finished and I restarted my time. I put my phone back in and went back to my run. 14 seconds later I heard, "your run is complete." Somehow my boob had pushed the button on my phone stopping the time. It also managed to post to Facebook that I had only run a half a mile. I was so pissed. I started a new run and headed home. Halfway my shoes came untied. I had to stop again and retie my damn shoe. I was so mad. I eventually made it home with two separate posts in my exercise tracker looking like a fool.
Becoming a mom...seven years later.
3.22.2013 - 1 comment
When I was little my favorite game to play was mom. I had babies, I carried a diaper bag loaded with every single thing, hell I even nursed my cabbage patches. When I was pregnant I read every single book on babies. When I had the kids I like to think I was a pretty good mom. My husband used to use the word amazing. I still read, I am still a good mom, but...I think I'm finally becoming a great mom.
In which I demand a maternity test
3.13.2013 - 1 comment
The other day my husband came to the bottom of the stairs and yelled,
Tattoos, assholes and knowing when to shut the fuck up
3.7.2013 - 2 comments
I've never been to Napa. I think I would like to go, but I can't be sure. I only like certain types of wine. Everyone says it's the best place ever though, and I feel like it's one of those adult type things I should do sometime soon.
Just don't smell me and we should be fine
2.13.2013 - 1 comment
I woke up this morning all sore and grumpy and frankly kind of smelly. I decided I would shower. Fifteen minutes after making this decision I actually got out of bed. I trudged into the bathroom turned the shower to scalding and stepped in. I reached up to adjust the shower head because I'm about 9 inches shorter then my husband so if I shower after him it sprays right over my head. I grab the shower head and move it down and the entire thing snapped off in my hands. Water started shooting all over the shower and in my face, outside the shower, all over the bathroom. It was not pretty.
So it has come to this
2.13.2013 - 0 comments
Today is a big day. I've told you about my husbands ridiculous Chive.com addiction and his addiction with products from their website. Well, we are back here...with me watching a countdown page and hoping and praying the site doesn't crash again.
What I'm reading
2.11.2013 - 1 comment
Nothing.
I totally want to go to the store RIGHT NOW
2.7.2013 - 0 comments
Those of you who have been reading this for a while know I have a few addictions, alcohol, pills, chocolate, converse and Cadbury Mini Eggs. Which is why it was a huge problem when I was scrolling through my Twitter feed and I saw that Saly had posted this;
A day at work with Shannon
1.23.2013 - 2 comments
Starting out the day
Inner monologue
1.21.2013 - 3 comments
I want cookies
Keeping warm
1.16.2013 - 1 comment
It's been really cold here in Reno. I don't like the cold. But my biggest complaint is that when there is snow everywhere my beloved shoes get left in the closet. This makes me sad. Let's be honest, shoes like this just cannot stay in the closet all winter long without getting their feelings hurt. .JPG)
Getting rid of it all again.
1.10.2013 - 3 comments
A week ago I looked like this. My hair was out of control long. It was pretty and if I took the time to do it, it looked very nice. But I never took the time which meant 80% of the week was spent with my hair pulled up into a messy bun giving me a headache. After much hemming an hawwing I bit the bullet and chopped it all off.
A night in the life of a caterer
12.28.2012 - 0 comments
No pictured...the four quarts of home made caramel and the 10 cups of celery chopped, or the 300 rolls I had to slice.
My body
12.21.2012 - 1 comment
A few years back I posted this image of my body in this post.
Let's update
12.19.2012 - 1 comment
* So much going on lately. Only one person knows ALL of it and she drove all the way from Winnemucca to deal with me this weekend. God I love that girl.
Chore help
11.27.2012 - 3 comments
Brandon wants to start doing the dishes. He is only seven and can't reach the sink. We have a dishwasher though. I think he is still too young/short but I'm not sure. Do you let your kids do dishes? Do they do a good job? At what age do you think kids are able to do dishes. I would like advice. Because if he wants to do chores I want to let him, I just want to make sure they are age appropriate.
I'm cranky...feed me
11.16.2012 - 1 comment
Have you ever been cranky for the simple reason that you are hungry? Well that was me today. I went on an errand to the bank and discovered I was starving. The bank took forever which of course made me really pissy. So I drove over to my favorite little sandwich place that has a drive through and ordered my favorite sandwich (with no oregano please because that shit taste like burned marijuana) and extra pickles. Then the drive up girl starts saying, "I'm sorry what did you say you want banana peppers?"
The golden years
11.11.2012 - 1 comment
While reading my old blog I came across this post...wow, I have the best kids ever
Seven year old boys will be the death of me
11.8.2012 - 2 comments
I should start this off by saying that when I started typing this I actually couldn't remember how old my son was. It started out with me saying, "man seven is hard." But then I thought, "wait, he isn't seven, seven is so hold, he must be more like five, but Codi is turning five so he can't be five, his pants are a size eight but I don't think he is eight yet is he? No he must be seven, but seven seems old enough to be graduating high school and surely I would have noticed if seven years passed by now right?" Finally I gave in and used the calculator. Brandon is seven. I think.
Why I can't wait for voting season to be over
11.6.2012 - 0 comments
I work for a heating company. Part of my job is to call my customers to schedule their appointments, or when my tech is on his way over to fix their furnace I need to call and make sure they are home. This week alone I have been hung up on at least three times a day. As soon as I say, "Hi is this____", or "Hi this is Shannon with" they hang up on me. I had to call one lady back twice yesterday and finally I just rattled out, "WE ARE TRYING TO COME FIX YOUR FURNACE I JUST NEED TO MAKE SURE SOMEONE IS HOME." She felt so bad for hanging up on me, and even admitted she just flat out hung up the phone thinking I was someone calling about voting. Half of my clients phones go to voicemail now because they are screening their calls. That means I have to leave them a message then my service tech has to sit there while we wait for them to call back and tell me they are home or not.
Sensory overload
11.1.2012 - 4 comments
A big problem with me is that I have issues with sound. I have incredible hearing. I've had my hearing checked and I rate in the exceptional range. The problem with that is that I hear EVERYTHING. The second problem is that I cannot handle hearing repetitive sounds. Pens clicking, shoes tapping, balls bouncing etc. When things get really bad I cannot handle any sounds. For example; my dog itching. The sound of my dog itching drives me out of my mind. This is a huge issue because my dog has severe allergies and itches about eleven hours a day. I sleep with ear plugs in even if I am home alone because I can hear every car that passes outside, every tree branch that moves, every mouse that crawls around, EVERY. SINGLE. THING. I don't get a lot of sleep. Especially living near a freeway. If my husband taps his hand on the steering wheel in the car I freak out. I actually FREAK OUT. I get mad. If my son starts clicking his toy gun over and over and over I totally tense up and feel a break down come on. If Brandon turns on any electrical gadget I cringe. When people close cabinets and they even slightly slam it, my brain hurts. Because of that I close cabinets so gently that sometimes they don't even close all the way. But it is better then hearing the cabinet close. The sound of Ugg boots dragging around during the winter really really pisses me off. People need to pick up their feet.
The food issues from hell. Or, why I'm quitting all food forever
10.29.2012 - 3 comments
For as long as I can remember I've had stomach issues. When I was younger I used to throw up until I was bleeding. I used to get these insane cramps. I went to the doctor so many times. They told me to cut out gluten, that I was lactose intolerant or that I was overweight (back when I was a size 5 at 115 pounds). Finally they decided I had endometriosis. Stage four. The bad kind that needed surgery. I was assured the pain would go away.
Waylon for president and more
10.22.2012 - 1 comment
I got this awesome new shirt last week. This is my answer to all politics right now.
Let's play my favorite game
10.15.2012 - 1 comment
Okay friends, let's play my favorite game;
Current reading...will this make me mad in the morning
10.4.2012 - 0 comments
This is my current travel reading. It was written by Johnny's wife Vivian. He approved the book and gave her permission to write the truth and all of their secrets. Do you think it's possible that I will like him a little less at the end of this? Or is my love strong enough that I won't care how big of a shit head he was to her? Here goes nothin. I've been dying to read this for months now..JPG)
Confessional
9.30.2012 - 6 comments
I know what I'm about to say might make some of you unfollow me right away. I understand. But I have to say this.
Monica's boots
9.26.2012 - 5 comments
Do you remember the episode of Friends when Monica spent an obscene amount of money on new boots but then when she put them on they were the most uncomfortable shoes she had ever owned? Later in the episode she made Chandler carry her home on his back and ended up forgetting the shoes at dinner. She never went back for them.
Favorites
9.25.2012 - 3 comments
For years I've never had favorites. If you asked my favorite color I'd reply, "I dunno." Favorite artist, "no clue." It's taken me thirty years but I have actual favorites now.
Return to sender
9.25.2012 - 4 comments
Postman left me a package. This was right above it. I think I'll check back tomorrow.
Judging a book by its cover
9.18.2012 - 4 comments
I've always lived my life believing you never judge a book by it's cover. At the book store I've been known to pick up every single book and read the summary regardless of what the cover looks like. That's why I get so bothered when people openly judge me because of my tattoos. I find it strange. I don't judge you by the art you hang on your wall, who are you to judge me by the art I hang on my body? Lately I've been talking to more and more of the parents at my sons school. I've been making an effort to really get to know people and put myself out there. What I learned shocked me. Quite a lot of moms have admitted that they were afraid to speak to me three years ago on the kindergarten playground because of my tattoos (and pink hair). Some said they thought I would be mean, or scary and some said they just thought I must have been a bad person. Then after spending time with them most of them are more shocked to learn I'm really a giant teddy bear who is actually quite nice.
Little league strikes again
9.17.2012 - 2 comments
For those of you who follow this blog you know I somehow ended up being the dugout mom last year. You also know that by the end of the season I was praying to the vodka Gods to please send help.
How to make a total fool of yourself for months without even knowing it
9.17.2012 - 1 comment
A few months ago I got a new iPhone. My old one was working fine it just wasn't loud enough for me unless it was on speaker phone. It couldn't be fixed because I had actually melted a Hershey kiss into the ear piece and Apple kindly told me that kind of damage isn't covered since you know...IT WAS MY FAULT.
The pottery anniversary
9.10.2012 - 0 comments
My purse betrayed me...aka some woman saw my panties
9.9.2012 - 1 comment
Friday I ran to get a quick lunch. On my way CVS called and told me my prescription was ready. I stopped in and realized I had to pee. The bathroom was occupied for what seemed like eternity so I gave up and decided to wait until I got my lunch. I made it to Quiznos and by then I realllly had to pee so I just rushed straight to the bathroom. I went to hang my purse and there was no hook. I wanted to set it down but the only place to set it was the wet sink. I'll never understand why places don't put a hook in womens bathrooms. Do they expect me to hold my purse, unbutton my pants, wipe, and button back up one handed? So I hooked it on the door handle and went about my business. Suddenly someone knocked on the door and without even giving me two full second to answer they opened the bathroom door. There I was sitting on a toilet, pants down, panties showing, ON A TOILET and some woman walked in on me. I shouted at her to leave and she did. That is when I noticed that my purse had slipped off the door and slid down the handle managing to unlock and open the door. So even though the lady should have given me a second to respond that the bathroom was in use, in essence my purse had left me wide open and bared for everyone to see.
Things that go beep in the night
9.6.2012 - 1 comment
Last night I wanted a good nights sleep so I took the full dose of Xannax. I was sleeping so good. Then at 3am my husband wakes me up to tell me the power is out.
My husband makes it so easy to be wife of the year
8.31.2012 - 2 comments
Men really are easy to please. It's humorous really just how simple they are. But a few months ago my husband issued an impossible task. He has this ap on his phone called The Chive. Mostly it has pictures of chicks and boobs, but also it has pictures similar to the humor section on Pinterest. It's kind of like what Pinterest would be if men were in charge of it. He had followed the ap for a long time when one day he discovered they sold shirts. You know that big thing going around the web right now:
Falling in love
8.28.2012 - 6 comments
I don't remember the exact moment I fell in love with my husband. Instead I have memories of just being in love with him. I can remember laying next to him and looking over thinking, "I love him." I can remember sitting on the beach by the fire looking into his eyes and thinking, "I can't even hear a word he is saying because I'm so stunned at how much I love him in this moment."
Things I can't believe I know
8.22.2012 - 0 comments
I know what channel baseball is on ESPN.
In the history of the world, men will just never understand
8.12.2012 - 2 comments
My husband got a new car this week. He got the new car the night before we went to California. We traded in my car towards his new car and I get back my beloved Yukon. So around 8pm Wednesday night I was taking every single thing out of my car and cramming it into a bag. Since it was so late we didn't get a chance to rearrange our cars before going to California. The next morning we left to California in his new car with NOTHING.
There is absolutely no explanation that makes this acceptable
8.10.2012 - 2 comments
Purse remorse **UPDATED**
8.8.2012 - 4 comments
Let's just talk about the worst thing that can happen to a woman. Having her purse break. It's pretty much devastating. It's even more devastating when the purse is 6 months old and the manufacturer has discontinued this model. So even though it's warrantied you are still screwed.
The minds of a seven year old boy
8.3.2012 - 1 comment
Brandon: Mom at recess we spy on the girls, and then hope they catch us spying.
How to drive my husband crazy in less then 5 minutes
7.30.2012 - 2 comments
Want to see my husband really lose his mind. Let me load the dishwasher. I swear his whole entire brain implodes. I don't know why, because clearly my way is the best way. But whooo boy does that man melt down when I play with the dishes. Tell me, is there anything you do that drives your spouse insane????
Fact finder
7.26.2012 - 0 comments
How to ruin a shower for sure!
7.19.2012 - 0 comments
Step one: Get in shower.
Open letters for all
7.13.2012 - 2 comments
Dear Taco Bell,
Shit just got real
7.9.2012 - 4 comments
I woke up today and it's the first day of second grade for Brandon. I'm not sure how this happened. Second grade feels so old. It feels like he suddenly a grown up. Like he will be asking me for the keys to my car tomorrow. The worst part though is this almost seven year old attitude he's developed.
Adventures in catering..butter cream edition
7.6.2012 - 1 comment
Bosses never listen you know! For about eight months I've been engaged in battle of the butter cream with my boss. What it comes down to is that she loves butter cream. I mean LOOOOVES. Like an unnatural love of it. Not like my love of chocolate because any love of chocolate is a good love, a natural, wonderful pure love like nature intended love to be.
I guess embarrassing kids come in handy
7.6.2012 - 0 comments
I got spotlighted again! Thank God for kids who just don't know when to stop.
There is a reason guys can't remember anything important about relationships
6.27.2012 - 0 comments
My husband has an unhealthy obsession with baseball. Scratch that...with the Giants. He loves to go to baseball games, watch baseball games, listen to baseball games. You get the point. I know nothing about baseball. When we met I knew three strikes and you are out and that's about it.
I'm not sure my hysterectomy was fair to the world
6.25.2012 - 2 comments
Because I make some really really cute kids. Think of all the hotties I'm depriving the world of now.
It was kind of my fault
6.25.2012 - 0 comments
I told him to jump over his instructors head...I guess it was my fault when he did this isn't it?
The moment I wanted to never take my kids in public again
6.23.2012 - 14 comments
A few weeks ago a new pizza place opened and my boys were begging me to go. We finally went but I made the mistake of going right at noon. The cool thing about this place is you can order a whole pizza pie or just a slice. We opted to order one slice each. When we arrived the wait was 35 minutes for a slice and 45 minutes for a pie. Finally after much waiting our slices came.
How my own stupidity led to the discovery of my most favorite condiment
6.18.2012 - 1 comment
When we went to Mexico I was worried about one thing. I don't speak Spanish. AT ALL. Not even a little bit. I can say bathroom, and any word on the Taco Bell menu and that is it. Luckily a friend told me about a translation ap so when we got to the house I had no trouble at all talking to the cook and people who took care of the house.
Give me back my bubble
6.13.2012 - 0 comments
You guys remember a while ago I was having trouble...a lot of trouble. Y'all suggested bubble wrap. Perhaps a padded room.
Strange things are happening to me
6.11.2012 - 5 comments
A few months ago when I declared that I was cutting a bunch of stuff out of my diet I assumed it would last a few days and then I would give in and discover I can't live without all things made of gluten. I was wrong. Cutting gluten out of my life turned out to be a game changer. But the best game changer at all was discovering Digestive Enzyme pills and papaya extract pills. After having my gallbladder out I could no longer eat peaches, avocados, plums or anything with a pit without spending a day or two doubled over in pain hating myself. Of course since I'm an avocado whore I've spent a long time hurting....because I just don't learn.
What I've been doing
6.7.2012 - 1 comment
I can't wait to blog about how the rest of the little league season went. It needs it's own post though because it would take a whole post for me to do all the personal horn tooting about how spectacular I am with getting kids to be good (not my own of course). Plus I have to rave on and on about how I totally won at little league snack and how the kids even said their favorite snack of the season was mine. So clearly you can see how I will need a separate post for that. In the mean time I've been busy working both jobs and doing this....
To EVERYONE in my life...you are fired
6.7.2012 - 1 comment
Come on. There is no way that all of the people around me in the last two weeks can tell me they didn't notice those two half in long black chin hairs dangling off me. It's not possible. So I want to know why not a single one of you chose to tell me????
She was a dancing queen
5.29.2012 - 3 comments
A few months ago Willie Nelson came to town. I didn't go. Afterwards I was livid. I knew I would never forgive myself for that so when I heard Merle Haggard was coming I was dying to go. Unfortunately the tickets were nearly $80.00 so I kept holding out buying them. The next thing I knew it was the day before the concert and I had no tickets. I resigned myself to the fact that I wasn't going. I set about baking a cake for my grandpa and when I had just put the finishing touches on it the girl in my office called and said, "I know how bad you wanted to go, so I called in a favor and got the tickets can you be here in 40 minutes."
Didja know...
5.17.2012 - 1 comment
If you spend the afternoon chasing your baby chickens through the rose bushes trying to get them back in their coop and then spend your evening with your arms in bleach water cleaning a kitchen your arms will hurt for hours.
Mucho grande boobies
5.15.2012 - 4 comments
Right before I went to Mexico my husband was doing a few loads of laundry and some how three of my shirts and two bras got broken. I found out later that the lint trap had a little build up in it so one side was sticking out causing all of straps to twist around until it snapped. I purchased two more bras before going but since I'm a DD I can never find bras my size, and on the rare occasion I do they are big ugly utilitarian looking things. So off I went to Mexico with my ugly ill fitting bras.
Catering season in full swing
5.14.2012 - 1 comment
I love catering. More then catering I love cooking. And some how I've become my bosses baker, which I thought I would hate but turns out I LOVE TO BAKE! Let me give you a look into my life the past few days.
Follow up on little league
5.9.2012 - 0 comments
I have been back in the dugout every game since this post. Things have been better. The coach had a talk with the kids about listening to me and I had a talk with a lot of the parents letting them know I would sit their kid out if they didn't straighten up. I think it was a good idea to have me go in there because now there is a familiar face in their at all times that they know they need to listen to.
The easiest recipe I've ever been given
5.9.2012 - 1 comment
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Do they serve beer in little league?
5.4.2012 - 2 comments
We started rookie ball a few weeks ago. This year was a lot different then T-ball for one basic reason. The kids on my sons team are ROTTEN! Not just a little bit either. They are just full on bad. There are four of them. Last week I got fed up and elected myself dugout mom. The first game was terrible. In one hour I had kids climbing the gate separating the dugout from the field, dangling from the hooks on the walls, calling other kids stupid, punching other kids, trying to break other kids bags, kicking kids, calling me stupid, pushing and shoving all over, and screaming mean things to their friends and the other team.
If all else fails and you can't find your eye glasses
5.3.2012 - 0 comments
Go outside and look on the patio because obviously your dumb ass dog would drag them out there to chew up. Because that is where they belong right?
And then they all laughed at me
4.28.2012 - 3 comments
I went to the doctor today about my broken finger (don’t ask). While there we got to talking about how my iron is low AGAIN. Then I casually mentioned I had quit eating gluten. The doctor said that was good. Then I mentioned that I cut down my dairy intake a lot. This made her ears perk up. Knowing that I’m a vegetarian and now I’ve cut down dairy she was worried. I thought that would be a perfect time to tell her I quit eggs too. And coffee.
Think about the memories you are making
4.27.2012 - 4 comments
A couple weeks ago I decided to give up gluten, dairy and coffee in an effort to cleanse my body of toxins. It’s funny that this story comes from me attempting to rid myself of toxic things. I stumbled upon almond milk and got the idea one morning to mix chocolate almond milk with soy peanut butter (my son is allergic to peanuts so I can’t use the real thing). I blended it with ice for breakfast and took the first drink. I was instantly transported back in time. I was nine years old in the kitchen with my biological dad getting a life lesson on how to make a chocolate peanut butter milk shake.
Help a girl out
4.24.2012 - 0 comments
If you wouldn't mind, click over to my food blog and help me out. I'm stuck on a recipe and NEED HELP.
Bucket lists
4.23.2012 - 0 comments
I will not budge
4.20.2012 - 0 comments
You all know I gave in on the booster seat. And I gave in on the light up shoes (but only Star Wars ones and only the ones with out the lame plastic looking stickers on the side). I haven't given in on the door locks YET. But there is on thing I flat out refuse to give in on.
Aren't his ears just perfect for this
4.19.2012 - 1 comment
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Submit your horror stories now
4.17.2012 - 3 comments
I'm getting colonics tomorrow...Please submit horror stories now.
Jack strikes again
4.16.2012 - 1 comment
Some of you may be familiar with my posts about Jack. If not here is the link to the post that describes my feelings about Jack and another one here.
Lets announce a winner for the toys and talk about some other stuff too
4.14.2012 - 2 comments
Thing one: When will I learn to wait 45 seconds to take a drink of my tea after I take it out of the microwave? How many times did I burn my mouth yesterday? EVERY TIME I USED THE MICROWAVE TO REHEAT MY TEA.
That did not just happen
4.10.2012 - 1 comment
All day long all I wanted to do was mop the floor. I went to my office and got the mop bucket and then remembered that it was broken. The handle where you drain the water was having problems. But never fear
Therapy
4.5.2012 - 3 comments
I've discovered a new form of therapy.
Well played Target, well played
4.3.2012 - 2 comments
I guess I haven't been to Target in a while because when I walked in today the entire store was different. I was forced to navigate the entire store just to find the bras and shoes which was smart on their part because that meant I walked through women's clothes, kids clothes, kitchenware and boys bedroom decor. I'm onto you Target. I see what you are doing and it was smart. Very smart. Well played Target. Now you go explain the bill to my husband.
How an author can get on my shit list REAL FAST
4.2.2012 - 2 comments
A few years ago after reading the Twilight series I stumbled upon Stephanie Meyer's website and found that she had started re-writing the entire story from Edwards point of view. Someone had released a portion of it online though and that upset her so she stopped. This made me mad. Because reading the story from his point of view was AWESOME. I loved finding out all of the information I missed hearing it from Bella's view. I held out hope for years that the author would finish the book.
Waylon gets it
4.2.2012 - 0 comments
I've always been crazy and the trouble that it's put me through
I've been busted for things that I did, and I didn't do
I can't say I’m proud of all of the things that I’ve done
But I can say I’ve never intentionally hurt anyone
I've always been different with one foot over the line
Winding up somewhere one step ahead or behind
It ain't been so easy but I guess I shouldn't complain
I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane
Beautiful lady are you sure that you understand
The chances your taking loving a free living man
Are you really sure you really want what you see
Be careful of something that's just what you want it to be
I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane
Nobody knows if it's something to bless or to blame
So far I ain't found a rhyme or a reason to change
I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane
So let's give away some sex toys
3.31.2012 - 9 comments
I have no idea what to do with you my dear loyal readers. When I asked what to do with the sex toys from the adult toy shop EdenFantasys never in a million years did I expect for so many of you to tell me to do a give away. This company approached me months ago to give away or review their products and I declined because I thought my readers wouldn't like it. But you all surprised me.
Because losing teeth, booster seats and giant shoes aren't bad enough
3.31.2012 - 3 comments
Last week Brandon yelled at me from the backseat, "mom how come you won't take the child lock off my door, dad did, why won't you? Dad is cooler."
This kid has priorities
3.27.2012 - 3 comments
Yesterday Brandon yelled at me for not texting him enough on his iPod. This morning he came upstairs while I was still in bed (kid wakes up at O'darkthirty) and said he was hungry. I told him to go back downstairs. Then I texted him that he could have a donut. He was really excited that I texted and he even replied back to me. I heard him run in the kitchen and eat his donut. I got up and started laying out clothes for the day and putting away some laundry from last night when Brandon texts me again asking me if he can eat the bacon his dad left for him on the counter. I say yes. A few minutes later my husband writes me and asks if I saw Brandon's video. I was confused, I hadn't seen a video yet today. You see, since Brandon is only six he doesn't text very fast or very good so what he does is record videos of himself talking and then send it to you. This was my husbands video this morning. It's short but I can just imagine Brandon spying the bacon, thinking about the bacon, and then finally asking his dad about the bacon.
Do you think I could Craigslist that?
3.21.2012 - 6 comments
Wow that was heavy huh? Let's lighten it up some shall we?
The one about suicide
3.19.2012 - 16 comments
I just wrote all of this, and then I crashed Microsoft Word and LOST.THE.WHOLE.THING. So here is round two. Let’s hope I’m as smart as I was twenty minutes ago.
Because no one likes to pee their pants
3.12.2012 - 2 comments
Blogging will commence when the 104 degree fever goes away and I can cough without peeing my pants, or sneeze without peeing my pants or .... breath without peeing my pants.
Wasted away in Mexaritaville
3.8.2012 - 3 comments
I went to Mexico y'all. To a huge house. Where they did everything for me. And when I say everything I mean they stopped just short of washing my hair for me while I showered. It was hard life really, really hard. But I had a lot of time to think, and I have decided there is a lot of stuff I'm ready to talk about. I've also decided I'm going to go back to my roots, I want to start writing my blog ideas down again. So get ready for me to get deep. I want to talk about trust issues. I want to talk about how suicide impacts someones life, and how it might take them 18 years to figure it out. I want to talk about parenting and all kinds of things. I've decided I don't care who reads it. I don't care who I upset I'm going to write about all of it. So give me some time to fix the mess I walked into at work and unpack, and maybe sleep and then it's on.
The Rolling Stones lied, Time is not on my side
2.25.2012 - 2 comments
When I turned thirty I wasn't worried. I didn't have a panic attack like my husband did. And since everyone I know (except you Ginger) is older then me I've had no problem still feeling very young. King of like a spring chicken. I look young too which helps. I still get carded often which to me is the holy grail of feeling young.
I can't even think of a title when all that's in my head is old school Puff Daddy and Mase songs
2.22.2012 - 2 comments
What's been going on with Shannon lately? Let's do a bulleted edition shall we? The last bullet is for sure worth reading the others for. I promise.
Dear Puppy YOU ARE GROUNDED
2.13.2012 - 0 comments
While you may enjoy running around outside in the rain and digging in the mud, it might be wise of you to rethink your decision to cover your entire body in mud. You see Charlie, when you do that you leave little foot prints everywhere. That means I can see what you've done. For example, when you go digging in the mud I can now tell that you:
This one goes out to all my office working blogging friends
2.8.2012 - 3 comments
I want to be nosey for a while. So please comment below and tell me:
Did I ever tell you why I didn't send out Christmas cards this year?
2.7.2012 - 3 comments
Please...pay attention to my youngest son Codi and my oldest son MY HUSBAND!
My kids are never going to grow up
2.3.2012 - 4 comments
A few months ago Rob came to me and told me he thought that at six years old Brandon was old enough to take a shower on his own. I was appalled. There was no way my sweet wittle baby was going to shower alone. Who would wash his ears? Who would make sure he washed behind his ears? Who would be sure the dirty boy grubbiness was scrubbed out from under his chin. I did the only logical thing possible and asked my friends on Facebook. Every single person agreed with my husband. (I'm soooo giving you all dirty looks right now). They even agreed that my sweet little four year old Codi was old enough to shower on his own. UNACCEPTABLE PEOPLE! That's my tiny little baby. Of course Codi loves it. To add insult to injury he's started telling me he wants to put his own lotion and jammies on after the bath.
Send bubble wrap
1.28.2012 - 3 comments
After yesterday's post regarding my injuries you would think I would learn my lesson. That I would stop acting like a dumbass and NOT HURT MYSELF.
I'm going to run off and hide in my little padded room now
1.27.2012 - 12 comments
Last week while I was cooking dessert for my catering gig while babysitting a dessert called "chocolate decadence" that needed to bake for about eleven hundred hours I decided to do the dishes. I finished the dishes and the cake was still not done so I decided to put them away. The very last thing I grabbed was the blade that goes inside the food processor.
The enormity of blogging
1.21.2012 - 7 comments
Tonight I received an email from Kim. She heard about the fire in Reno and was worried about me. When I saw that email, there are no words big enough, or eloquent enough to describe how warm my heart was.
You know you are parent of the year when....
1.14.2012 - 0 comments
An apple a day
1.11.2012 - 0 comments
I went to type this on my MacBook Pro but I hadn't plugged it in. I thought of typing it on my iPhone but remembered I had an iPad so I'm typing from that (side note someone please send me a keyboard for this). Today a little part of my life was completed. Our office ordered a Mac Mini. This means my family has owned an original Macintosh, G3, G4, Power PC Mac, iMacs, MacBooks, MacBook pros, original iPod, iPod nano in all sizes, iPod shuffle, iPhone 3, iPhone 4, apple tv, iPad....and now a Mac Mini.
How to make me homicidal in under 1 minute
1.5.2012 - 2 comments
Grab plastic container of soup out of fridge
Postpartum book depression
1.4.2012 - 5 comments
I love reading books. But there has always been one downside. The end of the book. I have three reasons for hating the end.
Catching up with the men in my life
12.29.2011 - 2 comments
I can't possibly imagine why my hands are going numb and cramping
12.29.2011 - 2 comments
Multiply this by 350 then add in 400 gingerbread cookies...and lets not even discuss the mini cookies.
Am Keurig K-cup discount shopping WINNING
12.23.2011 - 2 comments
I bought a Keurig about 3 weeks ago. I've never spent two days more jacked up then I did those first days of owning it because people I HAD TO PLAY WITH IT. I use my Keurig for everything. I stick my instant cream of wheat under there, set it on the low cup setting and BAMN cream of wheat. I do the same with my oatmeal. When I pack the boys lunch I like to put boiling water in their thermos before I put food in so it is nice and warm and keeps it warm. Now? Press button on Keurig BAMN hot warm thermos. I want to hug this machine daily.
I really never learn
12.19.2011 - 2 comments
Three times this week I let my gas tank look like this. THREE TIMES.
The banks are conspiring against me
12.15.2011 - 0 comments
15 Quick Things to Catch You Up
12.12.2011 - 4 comments
1. I have an unhealthy obsession with Nutella.
2. I’ve been working two jobs for the last few months, but lately I’ve been working them both in the same day. I’m super exhausted hence the lack of posting.
3. Did you know that when you spend all night cooking and all weekend catering you don’t want to cook dinner or any meals at home because the thought of chopping one more thing makes you want to chop a finger nail off.
5. I totally almost cut a finger off the other night I was so tired, thank god for long fingernails, saved the day.
6. I skipped number four.
7. You are now looking up to check that.
8. I want to hug and cuddle my new Kuerig. I use it for all kind of things besides just making coffee. But I can tell you, I was so so so jacked up the first two days I had it from playing with it.
9. Doctors tip really well.
10. They also throw pretty awesome parties.
11. The Pinterest humor section has become a problem.
12. Fig Netwon crisps are heaven sent!
13. you didn't even notice there are only 13 here
So what ever happened to jack
11.29.2011 - 5 comments
Many of you might be wondering what happened after my big JACK epiphany at a funeral.
A kids cough medicine that helps them sleep and is safe for kids under 35 um YES PLEASE
11.22.2011 - 2 comments
I don't normally do reviews on my blog but this is the first time that I got a product that I actually wanted to review. Because it is about my kids. When I was at Blogher I walked through isles and isles of stuff. Some I put in my bag, some I walked past and some I happily ate while browsing (Dove I'm looking at you.). I stumbled across a booth called Zarbees. It was a children's cough medicine.
Notes from the AMA's
11.20.2011 - 2 comments
Niki Minaj needs to go away.
Things I've learned catering
11.15.2011 - 1 comment
People will get drunk enough at weddings to stumble into the kitchen and announce to the catering staff, “THE ASPARAGUS WAS EXCELLENT AND GUESS WHAT, MY PEE ALREADY SMELLS LIKE ASPARAGUS.”
My dog is allergic to air and thinks bird shit hung the moon
11.9.2011 - 2 comments
Charlie has allergies. That is an understatement. Charlie is allergic to the world. So far, the one thing we know for sure is that Charlie is allergic to chicken.
Trust me your grandma was right
11.2.2011 - 2 comments
My grandma loves to tell me stories. Since my other grandma passed away before I could get all of her worldly wisdom I always make sure to soak up everything my grandma says to me.
How do you read blogs?
11.1.2011 - 2 comments
Last month our TV broke. After much shopping we ended up buying a Sony Google TV. I basically bought it because it had the word GOOGLE in it. I can surf the web and do other neat stuff on it but I hadn't really figured out anything I loved doing with it.
My last two weeks in bullets
10.26.2011 - 1 comment
* Wook at my cute wittle puppy he is just the sweetest wittle guy ever.
If you followed me on Facebook you would have been able to solve this problem a lot sooner
10.14.2011 - 1 comment
This morning I woke up and all I could smell was SHIT! Or, something rotten. Really rotten. Like holy shit if I was pregnant right now I would puke all over my hardwood. I spent the whole morning sniffing around. In every room. In closets, trashes, floors, the drier EVERYWHERE.
So the problem is...
10.12.2011 - 0 comments
My husband gets this stupid video game magazine in the mail. This bothers me.
The end of the day
10.11.2011 - 1 comment
Its 6:50pm. I want to be off work, but I'm not because I have to sit here and total receipts that the other girl in my office should have done. Here is a break down of my last five minutes.
I would never
10.10.2011 - 3 comments
I made a post on Facebook tonight and it got me thinking. I've been with my husband ten years and there are still things I would never do in front of him.
I'm not the only one
10.5.2011 - 2 comments
You know, I was feeling pretty sorry about myself after my 
.
Along Came Shannon (The running story + a bonus embarrassing horror story)
10.3.2011 - 16 comments
A few months ago I took up running. It was awesome. I never knew I could run outside. I slowly got better and I could run farther and got more brave and started running on back roads.
Okay fine, heres the whole truth.
9.30.2011 - 6 comments
I wanted to believe that I haven't been blogging lately because my kids got older and have homework, and need lunches packed and you know aren't little babies that I can just put on a play mat and not worry about. But come on, I'm going to be honest with y'all I've become addicted to romance novels.
You are awful horrible people
9.20.2011 - 1 comment
I can't believe how many of you want me to humiliate myself. Anyway I've been super busy lately so I haven't written it yet because I want to write it really good and funny. So tonight after I balance my checkbook (haven't done it in over a month) I'm going to sit down and write it.
Okay, so...fine.
9.14.2011 - 12 comments
I've decided I might be ready to talk about,"the run." But I'm not sure. It's not very lady like at all. So, those of you in favor of hearing my worst horror story ever IN MY ENTIRE LIFE please raise your hands. Then we will take a vote.
He asks...
9.13.2011 - 1 comment
What's for dinner?
Me
9.3.2011 - 2 comments
I didn't make the best grades. I wasn't always the smartest. I didn't finish college. I don't have a fancy degree or job title. I've done nothing spectacular with my life. I am average.
#1000thanks
8.29.2011 - 2 comments
One day scrolling through Facebook I noticed my Friend Emery posting photos. Uplifting photos. Photos that I would look at and smile at. Then I noticed the little tag under them, #1000thanks. She has been documenting things in her life that she is thankful for. I read it and then thought I could do that. But, then I thought....who really captures those moments? In my head I guess I thought they had to be big things. Huge things. Later that week I was driving down the road and my little puppy was being so cute and I started smiling and all the sudden I realized, "wait, this is one of those things, those amazing moments I take for granted." I snapped a picture and posted my very first #1000things.
My husband is secretly a wuss
8.27.2011 - 4 comments
Home grown
8.26.2011 - 1 comment
If you can't find me, I'm the one buried in cucumbers and string beans. Save me.
Because this wouldn't be my blog if I wasn't totally freaking the heck out over some kind of food item
8.22.2011 - 6 comments
So. Let’s start with the obvious. Google should be taken away from me. Last week I was doing some research to find out when my chickens would lay eggs. I was googling around when I read this:
Come oggle my shoes
8.19.2011 - 2 comments
Shannons husband gives a lesson on how to love a woman
8.10.2011 - 5 comments
How to love your wife lesson #1
Post it note Tuesday BLOG HER FREAK OUT EDITION
8.2.2011 - 2 comments
Dingleberries on the loose
7.27.2011 - 3 comments
The shoe discussion
7.25.2011 - 12 comments
With Blogher11 coming up next week (omfgnextweekIhaven'tevenpackedpanicattackfreakoutohshit) There has been lots of discussions about clothing, what to pack and shoes. Everyone keeps saying they must be comfy shoes. So I have to ask, do these count as comfy?
Why I started blogging
7.21.2011 - 11 comments
I started blogging after I had Brandon. None of my friends had kids, I was kind of lonely as a parent and I thought there were people out there who just might listen to me. It all started with Myspace blogging. Then I saw my friend Emery had created a blog, Moms are for Everyone. I loved it and I knew right away I had to start one too. I didn't have many followers at first.
I've got some wine in me, lets talk about my dog now
7.17.2011 - 8 comments
Nine days ago my best friend died. Originally I planned to tell the whole story. Tell you all how it was my fault. How, I take all of the blame for it. But, I'm afraid typing the whole story out will just tear me to shreds so...the short version, my five month old sweet little puppy Sparky was run over. The worst part is that the person who hit him didn't call me. They left him in the road to die over night. WHAT IF HE COULD HAVE BEEN SAVED? I am livid. How dare you not call. How dare you hit my dog and not take him to ER or call me or DO SOMETHING.
This is how I feel right now
7.13.2011 - 3 comments
I will write more soon. Tell you all what happened to Sparky and introduce you to Charlie the new pup. But, I'm afraid to write it all down right now. So, until then....I give you a look into my head:
Sparky January 23, 2011- July 8th 2011
7.9.2011 - 9 comments
Please don't say sorry...anything but sorry
Comment issues
7.6.2011 - 2 comments
My blog is having trouble receiving comments for the moment, if you have tried to leave a comment and it didn't work, for the mean time please click at the top where it says contact and you can shoot me an email that way. I WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, please don't hesitate to email me while I pester my web guy to please fix this (hint hint web guy)!
So what WOULD Jack do?
6.30.2011 - 0 comments
A while back ago I posted about Jack. The man who changed my life. Well not just him, his son whose words at the funeral changed my life just as much. I wanted to update you on how that is going.
In which EVERY ONE OF YOU FAIL FAIL FAIL!!!!!!! (and I lost the tin foil bet)
6.27.2011 - 0 comments
I have things that bug me. Little ticks. I'm sure you all have little ticks too. For instance:
Did that just happen to me in real life? So embarrassing
6.21.2011 - 0 comments
Shannon Vs. Husband...the aluminum foil
6.20.2011 - 6 comments
Just like the ketchup and Lent we have a new battle brewing in the house. Again I am not allowed to tell you which side I'm on. This weeks battle is:
Why me God WHY ME
6.15.2011 - 2 comments
Please tell my why I'm always the one left with two puking kids while I'm sick at the same time? Also please tell me why my kids are always sick. And while your at it please tell me why my dog is hell bent on licking up puke THAT CAN'T TASTE GOOD SPARKY IT JUST CAN'T!!!!!!!
The time I emailed a very detailed letter for my husband TO MY GRANDFATHER
6.9.2011 - 4 comments
Thank you to Yahoo! Mail for sponsoring this post about staying connected. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.
If my husband throws me out can I come sleep on your couch?
6.7.2011 - 4 comments
He's gonna kick me out for sure now!!
Stealing more of my moms shit
6.7.2011 - 3 comments
My mom has this storage full of shit. Seriously some of it is junk. But then some of it is pretty neat. Every now and then I have to get something out of it. Every now and then I find something neat. LIKE THIS SUPER AWESOME FLOOR LENGTH MIRROR. My philosiphy is that if it is just sitting in storage I don't have to ask permission to take it because if she really wanted it she would DO SOMETHING WITH IT. So I lugged it out of the storage today, packed it home and THEN called her to inform her I was stealing her mirror.
What is your best "unnecessary fight"
6.4.2011 - 14 comments
Swistle posted a blog about a fight she was having with her husband. Not a big money, religious, life threatening fight, but a fight about MATH that resulted in broken things.
Being frivolous
6.3.2011 - 3 comments
Lets say I win a lottery. Of course I’ll do the normal stuff, pay off houses, my parents houses, husbands parents houses, pay off my cars, donate a large amount to the animal shelters, SAVE SAVE SAVE, pay my bills for a year, SAVE, build a dream house (with an indoor craft room, a kids play room, an actual man room, each kids own bathroom, and a kitchen to die for)…but come on, if I’m gonna win the lottery lets talk about the stuff I do that no one ever talks about.
Confessions
6.1.2011 - 1 comment
The other morning I really wanted to nap, the dog woudn’t leave me alone so I gave him a piece of paper to shred all over the floor and keep quiet. Totally worked.
How a funeral made me a better person
5.27.2011 - 3 comments
I listen to this stupid radio show and one of the guys always says, "In light of eternity." I love that statement and I've worked on using it. If Rob and I are about to get in a fight I ask myself, "In light of eternity how important is this fight, is it going to matter in a week?" I've started incorporating it into my life and it is helping. But the biggest change in my life came a few weeks ago when I went to a funeral.
The shame gets worse
5.26.2011 - 1 comment
Last week I posted about 5 things I was ashamed of. One of those things was;
Uncle....white flag....I QUIT
5.21.2011 - 3 comments
I give up on the sickies. I give up on being quarentined. I give up on trying to keep this house cleaned. I give up on this dog.
Five things I am ashamed of today
5.19.2011 - 7 comments
1. I follow Jusin Bieber on Twitter.
Post It Note Tuesday aka I can't unsee that!
5.17.2011 - 1 comment
It is my own fault my couch was covered in vomit
5.16.2011 - 7 comments
We are all sick at my house. Okay not true, husband hasn't vomited yet....YET! Yesterday Codi finally caught the bug. He was laying on the couch, sat up and vomited. Here's where it gets interesting. Brandon had already done a number on my couch covers. He had vomited on two of them and two pillows. He had also vomited on two towels. So I had a blanket covering the remaining cushion cover and pillow. Codi started vomiting and I ran over and caught all of it in the blanket. I was so happy with myself. Supermom HELL YA. I got him off the couch and undressed and then went to roll up the vomit covered blanket. Somehow instead of softly rolling it up, I managed to FLIP the side full of vomit thus spraying chocolate brown puke all over my one remaining cover, pillows and NON COVERED COUCH CUSHION.
Of course I still have the first email my husband sent me, stored safely in my Yahoo! inbox
5.12.2011 - 1 comment
Thank you to Yahoo! Mail for sponsoring this post about staying connected. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.
Bring on the flip flops baby
5.11.2011 - 1 comment
Sally Hansen and I, we are gonna be best friends this summer.
Mom test, wife test, life test
5.10.2011 - 3 comments
Mom test:
Is cold...nuff said
5.9.2011 - 1 comment
I'm over you Reno. Over you and your sunny sweating my imaginary balls off days followed by I'm so cold I'm dripping pee sicles out here taking my dog potty.
Can dogs pee their pants?
5.5.2011 - 2 comments
Because I think mine just did.
Dear Dog
5.5.2011 - 0 comments
Why is it you are smart enough to bring your water dish to me when it's empty but you aren't smart enough to ask to go outside to poop? I don't understand. We stood out there for 30 minutes last night while I kept saying, "go potty, go potty," and then you walked in and shit on my floor. But then 10 minutes later you came walking over with your empty water dish. Please explain, why you couldn't just go bark at the door and ask to go out. Or even better why you couldn't just take a shit while we were outside for 30 minutes.
The trouble with mental illness
5.3.2011 - 6 comments
Is that you never know who you will wake up being. I not only have bi-polar, and OCD (the severity depends on my medication level), but I also have a borderline personality disorder. I wake up every day wondering who I am today. Am I the happy fun loving do gooder mom? Am I the depressed I don't want to go outside hate the world you wife? Am I the crazy, ditsy lets do something stupid girl? (Last time I saw her was here)
Little Fucking Smart Asses
5.3.2011 - 12 comments
Things my kids said in the last few minutes:
Post It Note Tuesday
5.3.2011 - 1 comment
Step away from his bone (video)
5.2.2011 - 2 comments
The image quality isn't very good, but it's pretty funny listening to what he does when I touch him while he eats. I wish I could have recorded the noise he made when I tried to pick him up to move him back to his bed. It sounded kind of like BITCH I WILL KILL YOU
Ang nagwagi ay ... If someone in your house can read this you probably just won a photo book from Shutterfly
4.30.2011 - 2 comments
When I did the Easter post for Shutterfly I was given photo cards and one photo book. I could keep them or give them away. I decided to give them away. But this time instead of holding a contest or give away I decided to just give them to people who deserved them.
Post It Note Tuesday
4.26.2011 - 4 comments
So confused and ouch that hurts
4.25.2011 - 1 comment
I've been backing off the dairy a little. Lately I've been eating stuff from the So Delicious brand. It is made with coconut milk instead of cows milk. The yogurt is great. Tonight I tried the ice cream and I'm conflicted. It has a coconut aftertaste which...is fine...I think. I like coconut. Specifically I like coconut candy (Almond Joy, Sees Candy), and I like coconut macaroons that is about it. You see, my problem with coconut stems from a night where I decided to play waterfall with a bottle of Malibu Rum. That led to large quantities of vommiting. To this day I can't be in the same room as Malibu Rum without wanting to empty the contents of my stomach on someones living room floor. So tonight while eating my ice cream, and last week while eating my yogurt I found myself thinking, "mmmm this taste pretty good and healthy." Followed by, "Oh shit this taste like Malibu Rum and I'ma vomit on my chair." I have no idea what to do in this situation. I know the coconut milk yogurt is better for me, but the mind fuck it's doing is not better for me.
Post It Note Tuesday
4.19.2011 - 7 comments
Let's Celebrate Spring (aka time to get hopped up on mini eggs)
4.15.2011 - 2 comments
My inbox will be empty
4.13.2011 - 2 comments
Every morning I wake up with about 26-30 emails. Every morning without fail I get really excited thinking this is the day you are all going to see how witty and funny I am and leave a bunch of comments, but alas, every morning it's spam mail. I've gotten tired of it and decided it's time to UNSUBSCRIBE from all this shit.
A day in the life of my dog
4.12.2011 - 4 comments
Wake up. Get carried outside and go poop and pee like a good dog.
What I am reading
4.11.2011 - 22 comments
![](<a href="http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n120/wilddreemer/?action=view&current=prideandprejudice.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n120/wilddreemer/prideandprejudice.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>)
Is there a boy more handsome then this in the world
4.7.2011 - 3 comments
Future girls of the world...lookout.
I've been replaced by a dog
4.7.2011 - 0 comments
I done lost my mind
4.5.2011 - 6 comments
Last week a friend came by the house with her puppy. It was a Chihuahua. The boys just loved the puppy. They wanted a puppy. They needed a puppy. They forgot about the puppy. Some of my long time reader’s may remember I kind of have a fear of animals lately. It started when I had Brandon and I became incredibly grossed out with dogs. Then Codi came along and before I knew it cats were the yuckiest thing on the planet with litter and poop and VOMIT. Since then I have not had animals. I wouldn’t even touch dogs and sitting on someone’s couch with a dog nearly killed me. What I can figure is that maybe my current medication is a winner because somehow this weekend this happened.
You bit your what????
3.31.2011 - 6 comments
I walked into Brandons room last night to find him biting his toenails. I was appalled. Who bites their toenails? I nearly barfed on the spot but instead I walked downstairs and all in a kerfluffle I loudly said, "BRANDON WAS JUST BITING HIS TOENAILS." I expected my husband to be just as grossed out as me but instead he said, "so, you never bit your toenails?"
The best thing to do is NEVER GOOGLE ANYTHING WITH THE WORD SPIDER
3.29.2011 - 2 comments
I was going to tell you all a story about the time my grandma had me go in her little shed because ther was "a few spiders" and she needed something out of it, only I went in there to find the "few" spiders was really more like 400 spiders all dead and stuck to these little spider trap mats and I nearly shit myself from the sight of it. Only then I googled to find an image of the little spider mat thingies and I just about gave myself a heart attack. I am now convinced my house is currently being invaded by mutant spiders that can't be killed by any spray and that will bite me and destroy the cells of my body and turn me to mush and then feed off of that mush and then....
Excedrin Wins..and I totally just wrote an episode of Criminal Minds
3.24.2011 - 6 comments
Excedrin. I finally found something that made my ankles stop hurting. Unfortunately it also comes with a side of caffeine which left me hopping around the office like a bunny rabbit yesterday. I went and ran yesterday and I so didn't want to. I knew Rob was picking up Codi so I got the idea that I would text him and tell him that if he saw me to stop and get me. But then it occurred to me that he would just pretend he didn't see me, take a back route and make me run the whole three miles. So I didn't text him. I did pass him, rather he passed me and you know what he did? He made fun of my socks.
Post It Note Tuesday
3.22.2011 - 5 comments
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In which I dispell my moms belief that I don't talk about sex
3.18.2011 - 8 comments
There is a lake near me that I HATE to go in. Yet every year I get dragged out to this lake. I don't know why. It's one of those...everyone has memories of this lake so let's always go there lakes. I have memories too. Those memories are the reason I HATE THE LAKE.
How exactly do you choose the right underware for running....and other things
3.18.2011 - 3 comments
Today's underwear are already creeping up my ass & Wednesdays undies were no better. How exactly do you pick comfy undies for running?
I have two goals in life...to be a good mom and to do right by my dad
3.17.2011 - 1 comment
If it wasn't his business and his life I would sit down some day and blog about my dads history (my actual dad not the birth father). His life is....interesting. Some of his stories would make for the worlds best blog. But this much I can tell you. His family sucks. Not all of them, there are two decent ones in the bunch but the rest SUCKS. He doesn't say a lot, ever. This has always bothered me because in my mind that means he must be turning over and over the events of his life in his head. It drives me crazy. I'm not stupid. I know the things his family does, they bother me, they must bother him. Yet somehow he's created...this amazing life. He's given me EVERYTHING. When I got pregnant I didn't really know how he would react. He was happy. He wanted it to be a boy and from that moment on I WANTED IT TO BE A BOY. I knew, that having a boy would give him lifelong joy. I knew this because I KNEW MY KIDS WOULD NOT GROW UP TO BE IDIOTS.
Some clarification for my husband
3.16.2011 - 3 comments
My husband read my previous post where I discussed running outside. I also discussed him getting a little teary eyed reading that I had gone running outside. He would like me to clarify that what must have happened is while he was reading my text two pieces of dust flew into his eyes causing them to get a little misty. He was not crying or anything...as you can see:
Post It Note Tuesday...or, when I prove what a woman I really am
3.15.2011 - 14 comments
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I hate raw eggs and five other things you might not know about me
3.12.2011 - 5 comments
1. I have a geographical & fissure tongue. If I showed you a picture you would probably break up with me. Google it. I dare you.
I ran..outside...and I didn't even combust
3.11.2011 - 2 comments
I've always said I don't like running outside. I also said I don't like running on treadmills. Maybe I should have just said I DON'T LIKE RUNNING. I've played with running on the treadmill at the gym, but the gym is far and I don't run enough so..meh, I'm not gonna be a runner. My husband on the other hand IS A RUNNER. I have to admit it's bothered me. He runs in races and events and I...don't run. The obvious solution would be to start running.
Photobooothing it
3.3.2011 - 2 comments
SOMETIMES ALL MOMMY NEEDS IS A LITTLE WINE AND A GOOD OLE FASHION ROCK N ROLL SONG!!!!!!!
Remember when I said the wine would kick in
3.3.2011 - 0 comments
Confirming what I already knew ... and also, they do "that" with tampons
3.3.2011 - 2 comments
I read a story today in Marie Clair about a girl in treatment for anorexia. In the hospital they were allowed only one tampon at a time and had to be monitored when they took it out and disposed of it. WHY?????
A road block..and a Golden Sombrero you may never know
2.25.2011 - 7 comments
Part of what makes me a “Misguided” mommy is the things I did before I was a mommy. The misguided directions I took in life. I have some really good stories in me. Funny stuff. Raunchy stuff. Naughty stuff. Illegal stuff. Basically everything everyone wants to read in a blog. Every time I sit down to write I find myself frustrated. Because I know in order to increase readers, to draw you in, to get comments I HAVE TO TELL THE GOODS! That is where I find the problem. My family reads this. They know a lot of my shenanigans but they don’t know all of them and there is always a point in someone’s life where they have to say…”this is probably one of those stories I shouldn’t tell publicly.”
Anatomy of a sneak attack
2.23.2011 - 5 comments
Little Fucker
If you want to learn to annoy your husband come here
2.22.2011 - 2 comments
Every three months or so I pull up my Google Analytics to see how people are finding me. I'm going to post a couple, then return down a few times and post the naughty ones. That means if you are in a reader you will need to click in to see some of the "interesting" things people search, that will bring them to me.
Shannon vs. Husband...Lent
2.21.2011 - 9 comments
Okay readers settle another fight with the husband and I. This one has existed for nine years. Here are the questions:
And I need these to just carry in my purse
2.17.2011 - 0 comments
I need about a hundred of these to give my husband every time I'm a dick head
2.17.2011 - 1 comment
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I DID IT I'M GOING TO BLOG HER
2.17.2011 - 2 comments
Whose idea was a three month summer vacation
2.16.2011 - 0 comments
Brandon is in kindergarten. He is on a track system though, that means he goes on two months off two months. Which at first I thought was annoying until I had to entertain him for one month. Then I thought, DEAR GOD HOW COULD I DO IT FOR THREE!!!!!!
Oww, my ass hurts
2.9.2011 - 3 comments
It's that time of the year again.
Post It Note Tuesday
2.8.2011 - 1 comment
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I'll never learn
2.3.2011 - 1 comment
I googled the spoilers for the Bachelor. I am not impressed. Probably just going to smash my TV in the end. Don't even know if I should still watch it. I have only watched one season of Bachelor EVER!!!!! This is the second one and I'm just pissed off with how it will end. I hate Michelle also. A lot. I hope she leaves soon!
Come like me....Pretty please
2.2.2011 - 0 comments
Just on the right side of the page under my ad is a Facebook link. Follow that and you can like my blog, and keep up with me when I'm not blogging...which means even more cussing and embarrassing myself then normal.
So you think you want kids
2.1.2011 - 2 comments
If you think you want kids try this first...then get back to me.
Post It Note Tuesday
2.1.2011 - 3 comments
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BEHOLD THE ANSWERS TO ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS
1.31.2011 - 5 comments
TA ! DA !
Shannon vs. Husband part two...the ketchup issue
1.26.2011 - 13 comments
My husband says I have a habit of asking you to vote on something but telling you which side of the argument is mine. He said that makes you guys always vote for me so this time I have to just list both sides of the argument without saying whose side is what and then make you vote. I still think I will win but whatever!
It's bad when I'm laughing so hard I almost piss myself while I write this blog
1.18.2011 - 2 comments
I opened up my e-mail today to find a new ad from Blue Q. This is what they were selling. Hand sanitizer. But not just any hand sanitizer. The most awesome hand sanitizer EVER INVENTED.
Video blog Shannon vs. Husband Please vote
1.15.2011 - 12 comments
Okay, so go ahead and vote, who is right? Me or my husband?
Am I really watching this?
1.13.2011 - 0 comments
The Bachelor. Really.
Ends, beginnings, lists and vlogging
1.8.2011 - 4 comments
I have a video blog coming up. It hasn't been done because I need to be totally alone to do it otherwise I will die of shame and embarrassment while filming it. But I promise you, the foolishness of my behavior should be enough to keep you on pins and needles.
A vacation of Mammoth proportions
12.31.2010 - 2 comments
Other possible titles:
Post to come
12.30.2010 - 0 comments
Just got home from Mammoth. Body hurts. Need to upload pictures. Post to come soon.
Murmaw teaches the boys to ice skate
12.21.2010 - 1 comment
4 Day Diet weigh in number one
12.17.2010 - 1 comment
SIX POUNDS Y'ALL!!! In four days. The best part is, I still get yogurt, coffee creamer, potatoes, and rice. I get to eat all kinds of shit. Yay for me! Will update you in another four days!
Book review and other random shit
12.15.2010 - 0 comments
I've been reading keith Richards (of the Rolling Stones if you didn't know) bio.
I think they want me to sit on piss
12.14.2010 - 1 comment
I went to a kids fun center / bowling alley this weekend. I of course had to pee, because I CANNOT go in public with out peeing (seriously try walking into Barnes & Noble with out going pee). I went in and there was little drops on the seat. I never know if its water from flushing or if it's pee. So I grab a toilet seat cover. Only the pack of covers is so full the cover comes out ripped. So I grab another and again ripped. Finally I grab a third which is also ripped. I hate this, it leaves me sitting in the bathroom trying to strategically place my ripped seat cover so it will stay on long enough for me to hurry up and sit my fat ass down on the toilet trapping it in place long enough for me to pee. The problem with that is, since it's all ripped up one piece always ends up sticking to my ass while the rest tries to flush. I just don't get it. Why can't they just fill the box of covers to a normal amount instead of cramming it full to the point of ripping them. Drives me crazy, I really don't like the extra two minutes it takes me to piece together my seat cover...because then if I'm in there that long people assume I must be going number two and if you have read my blog long enough you would know that I NEVER go number two. So you can see how this really poses a problem for me!
If a 29 year old walked into a skating rink....
12.7.2010 - 4 comments
If a 29 year old walked into a skating rink she would probably want to wear a cute frilly shirt so it could blow in the wind as she skated.
All is right in the world again
12.1.2010 - 1 comment
Dr. Dre is making music again AWWWWW YEAH!!!!!
Best mom in the pre-school class
11.30.2010 - 1 comment
About two years ago for one of Brandons first Halloween parties in school I went all out. I prepared the cutest little cheese and meat skewer thingies and a little kid trail mix of goodies served in tiny little pumpkins. I bought friendly little ghost plates and I was ready to go.
I understand now why I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder
11.28.2010 - 4 comments
My doctors gave me a few diagnos.
He wants me to wash my hand with boogers
11.28.2010 - 3 comments
Years ago I bought this cute little bathroom set. It had a toothbrush holder, a bar soap holder and a hand soap dispenser. The problem is that the hand soap thing has NEVER WORKED. I have added water to it, tried different soaps, done everything and it has never worked. So the old soaps have been sitting in this thing for years coagulating and getting all oogy then stripping the inside of the metal and, well it's a hot mess. Well the other we ran out of soap in our Dial handsoap dispenser so my husband decided to dump the soap out of the old nasty ass soap dispenser. OMFG look at it, IT LOOKS LIKE A BIG VAT OF BOOGERS.
I am thankful for...
11.25.2010 - 1 comment
Spanx
I have book A.D.D.
11.24.2010 - 0 comments
What I'm reading now? OMFG I need to stay away from the book store, but the 50% off coupon from Borders was TOO GOOD TO PASS UP!!!! I also had to go ahead and start a wish list on their website because I'm starting to forget all of the things I want to read.
I'm kind of too afraid to ask my grandma if it's true
11.21.2010 - 7 comments
So I started reading my new book. One of the chapters discusses the birds and the bees. The author talks about the teacher describing the maxi pad. The confusing part is she keeps talking about the "belt?"
What I'm reading
11.21.2010 - 2 comments
I keep picking up my copy of Jenn Lancasters, "My Fair Lazy," but then another fancier book with a more funny catch phrase comes along and it's all, "oh read me, I'm much more funny and raunchy and Jenn is like so 2009."
Flat out
11.18.2010 - 2 comments
I am the queen of flat tires. I have had a flat on every one of the five cars I've owned. Once I managed to have two flats at the same time. Last night leaving the store I felt like my view was a little off. Sure enough I had a completely flat fucking tire. I had to call Rob who had to drive to the store and sit in the freezing cold replacing my stupid ass tire. All of our groceries were in my car which means all of his ice cream melted. I don't know what I've done. It's like I have some kind of bad tire karma.
I finally got around to that 100 things list.
11.12.2010 - 4 comments
1. I don’t have a bucket list
2. My iTunes is a pro at knowing just what to play that will piss me off or make me cry AT ALL THE WRONG TIMES
3. Brandon finally eats eggs I AM THRILLED
4. I hate dried egg on plates…imagine what I now feel every morning after he eats his egg and leaves yolk all over the plate.
5. So wait, is number three a blessing or a curse
6. Codi still eats the same thing he did two years ago NOTHING
7. I cannot close a door or drawer all the way, this makes my husband INSANE, but for whatever reason I always leave something about an inch open
8. I never expected to get into baseball, but seeing how happy it makes my husband has really made me start to love it…that and the beard, I won’t lie, the beard helped
9. I love Jerry Garcia, I used to think I was a hippy
10. I haven’t decided what age is too old to stop dying my hair purple, but I’m pretty sure it’s not 29, and I don’t think it will be 30 either.
11. I have a habit of loving songs that I think are all sweet and sappy only to find out they are horrible not sweet songs, example, Without You by Hinder, yeah that is not about him missing her, it’s about him better off without her. That’s just depressing.
12. Donuts are my weakness. They are my kryptonite. The smell, the taste, the glistening frosting on top IT JUST KILLS ME, I CANNOT RESIST DONUTS.
13. I give up, I like stupid Justin Beiber.
14. I have to reconcile five bank accounts, that’s too many numbers for my head to compute.
15. My head feels like a TV changing channels all fucking day every fucking minute.
16. Every time I get out of the shower I sing the Outkast song, “Ain’t nobody dope as me I’m just so fresh, so fresh and so clean.”
17. My husband doesn’t get the humor in that
18. I have something called traveling taste buds, my tongue looks like it’s been sliced into a million pieces. That makes anything acidic hurt like a mother fucker.
19. My husband does not like when I stick out my tongue and show him
20. I am addicted to sappy love movies, I can watch them all day
21. I am ashamed to admit I can’t wait to read the Betty White biography
22. I made my first new friend, new as in someone I didn’t know before from school or work.
23. I think I like her so much because I kind of get to mother her and she kind of loves having someone mother her.
24. My doctor just prescribed me Ritalin. He said it would be similar to doing speed and help me lose weight and get energy to work out and what not
25. It made me tired and sleepy. This means I probably have ADHD
26. This makes about 25 years of my life totally make sense.
27. I sort of miss school. But when I really think about it what I miss most is organizing binders and fresh notebooks and sharp pencils. Making dividers and labels was my most favorite part of school.
28. My husband makes a fire and gets it up to 83 in the house, I think that is the perfect temp, he tells me I’m abnormal and sits there sweating. 83 is a perfect house temperature.
29. I do stupid little things for my kids. Codi was sick today so I brought fresh sheets to work and then brought the softest fleecy type blankie just to make sure he was surrounded by soft clean things.
30. I pack stupid holiday themed napkins in the boys lunch box just hoping It will make them happy.
31. I just learned how to do a little side braid on the front of my hair, I’m worried I won’t be able to stop doing it now, which means it’s going to get annoying and over used.
32. I have only eaten Halloween candy once in five days
33. My finger nails are too long to type well now, this really frustrates me because I heart my long natural nails.
34. I want a pedicure every month.
35. I should not have mentioned Halloween candy
36. My long term memory is amazing, but my short term memory not so much.
37. I think I have lost my passion for cooking. I never thought it was possible but I just don’t find it exciting anymore.
38. I don’t want more kids but I sometimes get sad that having a hysterectomy took that option completely away, having kids is what I was built to do as a woman.
39. It’s been 11 years since my grandma died and it still hurts like yesterday, isn’t that shit supposed to go away?
40. A one hour drive across town and back is far to long to be alone in my head.
41. I need more time in my sewing room, I never thought it would be as cathartic as it is.
42. I can’t wait until Brandon is old enough to figure out that he is singing inappropriate songs, example: he loves to sing Taylor Swift…She wears short skirts I wear T-shirts. So not okay for a boy to sing.
43. I just realized I love Brie cheese on crackers with a little jam.
44. When did I become so stuck up?
45. Would one piece of Halloween candy kill me?
46. I picked a little baby tootsie roll, I think that is an acceptable size dessert.
47. I am tired about 90% of the time.
48. I don’t even feel bad stealing all of the hot water, I need to come out super pink and nearly burned up from how hot my shower is.
49. I wish I had to wear fancy work clothes every day
50. I totally couldn’t afford work clothes.
51. But I own plenty of fabulous work type shoes.
52. There is no way I can finish this list tonight.
53. Medication runs through my system right away, this makes it hard to keep my medicine level at the correct dosage.
54. I believe stilettos have to be peep toe. I’m totally over closed toe shoes.
55. Every time I start a TV show my husband walks in and asks if I want to watch a show with him. This makes me totally fucking insane.
56. My kids called 911 a few months ago. The cops showed up and everything.
57. I am obsessed with Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner getting back together. She wrote a song saying sorry they need to make up and have tiny werewolf babies.
58. I am always on Empty. My husband will ask if I want to stop for gas on the way home and I always so, “no I’ll do it in the morning.” Then I take my kids to school, realize I didn’t get gas and then worry about being late to work so I still don’t get it. I am always on the verge of running out.
59. My desk has never been empty. There is always at least one paper or one pile on there. I HATE IT.
60. I gave up on my home desk today put everything in a pile and mashed it into a drawer. I just couldn’t have it messy for Codi’s party tomorrow.
61. I have a red Swingline stapler but I won’t bring it to work, I don’t want anyone touching it and getting their germs on it.
62. When my kids go to sleep I secretly play Mario on their Nintendo DS.
63. Mario is the ONLY game I know how to play on Nintendo NES, Wii and DS. I am not capable of play anything else.
64. Wait that’s a lie, I totally rock the Twilight game.
65. At one point I had three different Twilight game aps on my phone.
66. I have hair on my fingers. I want to shave it off but I already cut my toes every time I shave them I really don’t need cut up fingers too
67. I guess now you know I have toe hair.
68. I found my first chin hair a month ago. I am fearful of the next 60 years.
69. I want to be married 50 years just so I can have one of those fancy HAPPY 50 YEAR ANNIVERSARY thingies in the newspaper.
70. My new medicine was supposed to be like speed, it makes me tired. I’m kind of disappointed my doctor made the speed side of it sound super fun.
71. Every person who reads this will totally take #70 the wrong way.
72. I have so many super awesome life secrets in my head. I think I will write one of those letters for everyone to read when I die spilling all of my secrets. That way I can’t get yelled at.
73. I cannot buy generic mayo. I just can’t. I think I would die if I ate it. I’m pretty sure anything but Best Foods is toxic.
74. Plain old Hersheys chocolate it actually my favorite chocolate ever, imagine that, a foodie like me and that’s my favorite chocolate.
75. My chocolate must live in the freezer. Warm chocolate is just awful.
76. I drink more water if it’s in a Sigg or a water bottle. Water in cups is scary. You will find water cups half full all over my house.
77. I cannot drive my husbands car with out leaving something behind. This drives Mr. OCD crazy.
78. My car is always messy. I don’t know why. I swear my kids have more art shit and food shit and messy shit then any other kid.
79. I still hate hugging. But I have discovered there are a few people I will always hug. Something about them just screams HUG ME. And I just have to do it.
80. There are people that I know no matter what I will never hug. I just can’t. The idea of hugging them makes me want to cry.
81. My husband always gets to be the little spoon when we cuddle. I want to be the little spoon sometimes but he says my hair gets in the way.
82. When we were first dating we slept in a tiny full size bed all cuddled up. A few years later we realized we needed a king size bed and somehow there still isn’t enough room.
83. I didn’t notice his snoring for almost two years.
84. I didn’t start snoring for almost 7 years. It bothers him and he wakes me up. I want to kick him in the teeth since he snored so bad for 6 years that I had to wear ear plugs so often causing my ears to bleed and scab up. And the asshole has the nerve to wake me up for snoring once in a while.
85. I have customers at work that I haven’t talked to for 10 years yet I still remember their name and voice.
86. I thought of at least five things to add to this list while I was in the shower. I forgot every one of them.
87. I cut myself shaving at least once a week. In fact I am now terrified to shave the back part of my ankle because I’ve cut it so many times.
88. I wear granny panties. Yup my secret is out. I’ve decided thongs just look ugly. Every time I see a Hanes commercial with a girl jumping on her bed in her briefs I think, “wow she is so cute.” I never look at a girl in a thong and think it’s cute, I think, “wow it looks weird having something crammed up your ass.”
89. If I was a guy I would fail in prison, I ALWAYS ALWAYS DROP THE SOAP. Seriously every single shower I drop it at least once.
90. I love the smell of my Salt City candles but I rarely burn them because I am so afraid of running out.
91. I used to be someone who obsessively planned ahead and did everything five days too soon. Now I function better in crunch mode. I have an 11o’clock birthday for Codi tomorrow and I don’t plan on starting to cut up appetizers until about 10AM tomorrow.
92. The first time I saw the word hors d'oeuvres I pronounced it WHORES DE VOURES. Katie and Ginger laughed at me so hard.
93. I have one of the worst junk drawers you will ever ever see, and I just don’t care.
94. I really really truly love my husband. I think a lot of people tend to say the words I love you and just say it out of habit. But every time I say I love you, my whole entire body feels it. I wake up at night and look at him and wonder how on earth this man married me.
95. My husband asked me to buy the new Call of Duty video game for him. I said NO NO NO. Then today as a surprise I bought it for him. He just laughed, opened his lunch box and showed me that he had actually bought it too because he really believed I wouldn’t.
96. He should know by now that he gets anything he asks for.
97. We have a new rule, when he says something like, “can I go to this,” or “I want this,” followed by, “it’s okay if you say no,” that I’m obviously going to say yes. Why? Because I don’t want to be the bitchy wife who says no. By now I’ve caught on that when he asks me for something no matter how much he lets me think I’m making the choice, the choice is already made, because I’m a sucker for that man.
98. I’m a sucker for my boys too. I can say no till I’m blue in the face, but even as I am saying it, I’m already planning how I’m going to get what they want.
99. I am hyper protective of my kitchen knives. I really get pissed off when someone comes into my kitchen and tries to use my knife. It’s like someone trying to borrow my husband. Not happening people THAT’S MY KNIFE.
100. My husband has me absolutely terrified of 2012. He takes
advantage of this and picks on me every chance he
gets. I can’t handle thinking I only have two years left
with my family.
Hey Shannon where is that 100 things list?
11.11.2010 - 2 comments
You guys I am so embarrassed. I fell asleep at 8:30 the last two nights.
The infamous 100 list is coming tonight, in the mean time
11.9.2010 - 5 comments
How pathetic is this for a Lego Land season pass photo?
It must be true...my iPhone told me so
11.2.2010 - 4 comments
So! We decide at work today that we are going to buy a fancy new Apple keyboard for the girl in our office. Hers is older then dirt and to celebrate her company anniversary we surprised her with that. Along with the keyboard we figured why not through in an Apple Magic Mouse too. So I go up to the Apple Store (torture not walking out with an iPad) and buy a Magic Mouse and a new Magic Track Pad. I get to work and UGGGG her mouse won't work because the computer is so old it doesn't have built in bluetooth. So fine I text my IT guy. He says something like "no shit sherlock the computer doesn't have blue tooth." Only he didn't say shit because in the 40 years I've known him he has only said ONE bad word and he actually typed it so technically he has potty fingers and not a potty mouth. Anyway he then says:
You know you are old when....
10.30.2010 - 7 comments
I need a vacation from my vacation
10.28.2010 - 4 comments
We took off for 7 days to LEGO LAND. That is why I haven't written in a few days. No Internet connection when your camping on the ocean ya know. Anywho I have about 7 mounds of laundry to do and about 75 bags to unpack and lets not even discuss my floors right now because I'll have to start crying and then someone will have to mail me some chocolate or something. I will be back Saturday with a better post. For now, I think this picture accurately sums up my last 7 days.
Thing that make me feel important
10.19.2010 - 2 comments
I have these nifty little stamps at work. I don't know why but I feel extra important when I use them. When I send out bids or what not I like to use them.
Fort take two...plus I AM A GENIUS
10.16.2010 - 3 comments
So obviously if I make a fort for Brandon I have to make one for Codi. I planned to wait a while to make it. That is until Sunday when Codi had a full fucking melt down in the hall kicking and screaming and all. I'm talking full blown holy shit batman this kid is going all exorcist on me. So, I gave in bought fabric and made him a fort.
How to annoy myself
10.16.2010 - 2 comments
- Buy toast that is bigger then my toaster
- Burn said toast because I forget to flip it in time
- Locking myself out of my house and complaining all day
- Realizing there has been a spare key to my house in my moms office the whole fucking day
- Buying chicken and then forgetting to cook it and letting it expire
- Trying to save money by not buying enough milk for myself then waking up and wanting a glass of chocolate milk but not being able to have it out of my own stupidity
- Staring at the four cartons of whole milk I bought for the kids and wanting to cry
- Not being able to pass the castle on level five of Codis Mario on DS
- Forgetting to adjust my DVR to record Americas Next Top Model
- Admitting I watch Americas Next Top Model
- Forgetting the other ten things I wanted to put on this list
Let's take a tour
10.7.2010 - 4 comments
A few years back I was reading Emery's blog and I came across a picture of her sons room. She had made curtains for his closet instead of doors. I have been obsessed with that idea forever now. It became one of those things filed under "sure I'll do that someday." But then I got a sewing machine and I realized the theme of Brandon's room wouldn't change because he got older and he really does love camping and fishing so why not make curtains. I found some awesome fishing pattern fabric and sewed me up some curtains.
Things I learned watching the Golden girls
10.4.2010 - 7 comments
Girls always look so much better on the bottom
Numb
10.2.2010 - 4 comments
So I wake up from the surgery and I'm thinking OUCH FUCK THIS HURTS. Only, I don't want to be a pansy so I quietly say, "owwwwie." The nurse comes over and gives me some liquid pain meds. A few minutes pass and I am like uh, this shit still hurts fuckers. So obviously I say "ouch this kinda hurts." (Although it probably sounded like oumsh fis hur...... drool pass out). So the doctor gives me some pills to swallow. Okay are they giving me fucking placebos here or what this HURTS. Now say a little louder, "wow this sure hurts." (Yeah I was the super tough girl in surgery...at least on the outside). At this point they have rolled me into the room and they are like hey I'm going to give you some Demerol. Okay cool.
I would like all of my carbs please
9.29.2010 - 3 comments
I miss you guys
9.29.2010 - 6 comments
I am thinking of coming back....soon. I'm missing you all. Look out for me to return.
So you had a hysterectomy now what?
9.24.2010 - 4 comments
Do I just throw them all away? Donate them? Thats a lot of money sitting there.
Kids really do say the darndest things
9.21.2010 - 8 comments
To avoid embarrassing anyone I will change the names in this story to Bob and Sue.
My first time to be afraid..and a final wish
9.6.2010 - 11 comments
I have had a lot of surgeries. Six to be exact. Three laperoscopys for endometriosis, one gallbladder removal, and two C-sections. I've pretty much breezed through all of them. When it came time to have my C-section with Codi I got a little nervous. I had a kid now. Brandon could lose his mom and even if I died I would still be losing my son. I had a little relief knowing I wasn't going under but still, there is that one blog, where is wife died only hours after having a C-section so obviously I was afraid.
Summer reading list...no laughing allowed
9.4.2010 - 2 comments
So. I'm in California with my husband for a wedding. Sunday morning I wake up a little cranky and decide I'm going to hunt down the continental breakfast because nothing says happy vacation like shoving contraband pastries in your purse and running away. I arrive in the amazing lobby. The entire lobby faces the ocean and no matter what you get a great view. I look to my right and spy some pastries. Only...there isn't very many and I'm the only one there. I figure I'm early so I wander around and notice she isn't putting out anything else. Then I realize it isn't continental breakfast it's a little cafe and you have to pay for breakfast. Obviously I wouldn't be cramming any bacon in my purse for Rob's lunch on the drive home. I stomp off to the car get my computer and decide I will fiddle fuck around online staring at the ocean. I get set up and order a cup of coffee from the lady behind the counter. I have absolutely no idea what transpired but the next thing I know Andrea the coffee lady and I are off and running and having a full on conversation. Somehow I mention books and I tell her I had been reading Chelsea Handler.
So how was your weekend
8.29.2010 - 4 comments
Reasons I don't like my kids getting older
8.21.2010 - 4 comments
- Their toys are smarter them me: Bakugan's are Brandon's new favorite toy. I don't even know what the damn things do but I having a feeling the reason he loves them so much is just because they make me so totally crazy. Little pieces that have to fold up, tuck in, twist this way then that, and then if you don't put it down with a feather light touch the mother fucker comes all apart again and my kids just crack up and make me do it again.
- Anything Transformers. I really thought Brandon turning five would be the big breaking point. I thought by by Transformers. Fuck I'd even be nicer about Iron man. BUT NO!!!! He got older and now he likes them more. Transformers are smarter then me. I have yet to meet a Transformer I can figure out. Even Codi's just for two year old Transformers that My seventy three year old grandma could probably put together out smart me. Seriously, I tried to play with one and couldn't figure it out and my husband just shook his head and called me his "special little girl." Not to mention the boys always ask me to play Transformers. HOW DO YOU PLAY TRANSFORMERS? I can play Barbies, I'll outplay anyone in Barbies. I can play dress up, play house, pretend I'm Bob Ross and paint a happy little tree but for the life of me I don't know how to play Transformers.
- Attitude. Brandon is in Kindergarten now which means he goes to school with a bunch of kids who have older siblings. This means his friends pass on their siblings bad attitude and Brandon just loves to come home and try it out on me. Both of my boys have perfected the STOMP. Brandon can stomp from one room, up the stairs, up another flight of stairs, to his room and back down the stairs and never miss a beat. Codi, whoah Codi can stand still and stomp his little feet so bad that I swear I give him anything just to make him stop before he busts a hole in the floor.
- They get all brave and shit. Brandon decided he's old enough to go to the bigger kids in the after school program and teach them the word FUCK. Yes. Codi isn't that brave yet but I guess turning five makes my son put on his big boy pants and go teaching ten year olds the word FUCK.
- I have to shop over on the older boys section now. I'm not okay with that. Pants cost more, shirts are edgier, old lunch boxes are suddenly just not cool enough and now I have to buy special boxer briefs with certain designs because people are going to see them under his clothes??????
- Brandon knows about money now. The after school program allows them to bring money for snacks and suddenly every 3 days he wants money because he NEEEEEEEDS popcorn at this place or extra money to play games. Because he will just die if I don't give him $5.00 to spend winning a .30 toy.
- They just look old. Codi is the age Brandon was when he was born. Brandon might as well be in high school he looks so old. Kid is breaking my heart. Every day when I pick him up he is 5" taller and 3 years older. I don't like it. Why is it when I was 18 all I wanted was time to speed up so I could be 21. When I was 15 it felt like 16 was four years away. But now, I just finish cleaning up after a 4th birthday party and suddenly it's time for a 5th birthday party. I DON'T LIKE IT. I like watching Wubzy. I don't like watching the big kid channel. I don't like them being to cool for Elmo. Fuck I don't like them being too cool for me. Brandon already doesn't want to hug me bye in front of his friends. Codi already tells me to get out of his room and that I can't cuddle anymore. What the fuck, I need like five more years of cuddling and these little shits are already daddies boys who are totally over mom.
Open note to time,
POP QUIZ
8.18.2010 - 3 comments
How many tattoos do I have now?
In need a vacation now
8.4.2010 - 3 comments
So. I would say the last 10 weeks or so have really kicked my ass. Between my grandpa dying, thinking my family was making up to find out they were going to be bigger assholes, an adoption situation, an asshole tenant, literally not sleeping more then 3 hours at a time, and only sleeping with the help of valium, getting so worked up with kids and life that I actually started thinking smashing dishes against the wall sounded like the best idea in the world. I'm not giving my husband the attention he deserves. I'm yelling like crazy, I'm overwhelmed, preoccupied, angry, drained and lost in my head. I lost a lot of income in the last month and went from putting away a lot of money to savings to being negative every week and being pay check to paycheck.
The most genius thing I ever learned
7.9.2010 - 9 comments
When I first got my iPhone I excitedly posted my first blog post from it while going pee in a restaurant bathroom. It went something like, "I hate waiting in fucking lines at restaurants."
To leave it on a lighter note
6.24.2010 - 5 comments
After telling Codi to go put his shoes on and go finish getting dressed he stomped up the stairs, turned around and said;
A tribute
6.18.2010 - 11 comments
I promised you an update and I will do that soon. For now, what I can tell you is, I never realized just how much I would miss all of you when I was going through something really shitty. To summarize, I've spent the last 5 days at the hospital watching the grandfather that I stubbornly hadn't spoken to in two years deteriorate. He has been unconscious the entire time which means he never got to hear me say I'm sorry, that I love him, that we are both totally bullheaded, hard headed and stubborn but he wins I give up and I'll say sorry first. I learned one thing from him. In fact it wasn't learned it was bread in my genes (aside from a raging temper, the need to be right, and being one stubborn son of a bitch) the art of cooking came from him. He is the reason I don't use a recipe and on the off chance I do I always change it. The reason I cook from taste. He was the reason that for so many years I cooked every meal with love. He is the reason my kitchen is full of All-Clad, Les Creuset and Wusthof. The reason Henckle knives have been banned from my kitchen. In fact, hes the reason I have fingers because he was the only person who could explain to me how NOT to cut them off while cutting a tomato. Needless to say I can't cook anything right now. I was able to walk in the kitchen long enough to get coffee but in the end I had to drive to the store at 730 this morning to buy a lunchable because packing Brandon's lunch was too much.
How to say goodbye
5.23.2010 - 25 comments
This post has been a long time coming. I'll go ahead and warn you ahead of time that I will say the words truth and honesty a lot in this post, so please don't tell me to get a thesaurus.
NOTICE THE HAIR
5.20.2010 - 4 comments
THAT IS THE LAST TIME I LEAVE HIM ALONE WITH HIS SAFETY SCISSORS
Peep show
5.19.2010 - 3 comments
The next time I get the bright idea to only paint the toenails that will be visible through my peep toes....
Will resume as soon as the hang over is gone
5.17.2010 - 1 comment
Ouch....
It must be the alcohol
5.12.2010 - 7 comments
I'm pretty sure it is the mom in me, but, I cannot go to the bathroom with out shutting the door. Even if I am home alone it is now instinct to shut AND LOCK the door. Why? Because four years of having some shit head little kid walk in while you are peeing can give a girl a complex. And really, four years of having a kid walk in while you are changing your pad, and then ask if "you are changing your diaper" will really give you a complex.
Stupid little girl
5.11.2010 - 2 comments
I was thinking that next time I go to the gym I want to repeat the work out I did at my last training session. Then I reread this and figured it might be better to go home have some vodka and stumble up and down my stairs calling it exercise then to ever do that again.
Give away results
5.10.2010 - 0 comments
Moved the give away post, Shannons in trouble post, and results here. I have announced a winner so hurry up and go see.
Shannon gets in trouble...also, why the winner hasn't been announced yet
5.8.2010 - 5 comments
Live video blog of Shannon being a moron and discussing results delay can be found here
This girl is kicking your ass in the give away
5.4.2010 - 1 comment
This picture of her purse is kicking ass in the give away, I think she gets extra points for labeling each item on her flickr. You all better get it together before she totally creams you!
How to get pink hair
5.2.2010 - 4 comments
Let's have a giveaway ($60.00 value)
5.1.2010 - 23 comments
Recently I was contacted by a company called ******* asking if I would like to do a review or give away. I browsed around there store and I was dumbfounded by all of the things they had. Bar furniture, kids things, kitchen stuff, purses ugggg the list went on. I had to close it when I got to the kid section because I started getting caught up in things like this (I don't even like bunk beds), and this (TRIPLE BUNK BEDS WHO KNEW!!!) I got out of there and some how stumbled into housewares which somehow led me to the recycling bin area where I saw this..Just what I've always wanted a trash/recycle bin for my kitchen. I headed over to the hand bag area and that is when I found this ridiculously cute diaper clutch. Right about then I knew I had to stop browsing because I DON'T USE DIAPERS MY KIDS ARE POTTY TRAINED! I had all but made up my mind that I was taking that $60.00 and running. But alas, I like you my dear readers so I am going to give it to you instead. (Round of applause please)
Operation DUMBASS
4.30.2010 - 6 comments
I'm pretty sure somewhere in heaven God is laughing at me. I carry a purse. Inside my purse is my wallet. Inside of my wallet is my little card case.
Parenting at its finest
4.29.2010 - 3 comments
Both of my kids are picky eaters. Well Brandon isn't anymore but he used to be. Both of my kids are also very skinny. Brandon was in the 10th percentile for weight for almost three years and Codi spent a whole year in the 3rd percentile. Their pediatrician was pretty clear on the matter:
It appears hell froze over
4.29.2010 - 4 comments
Correction
4.28.2010 - 2 comments
My husband got his panties in a bunch because I didn't mention his time on the Climb the Legacy thing. Mr. Show off pants came in at 5:05, 23rd place out of 271 people. Pretty fucking amazing huh? I'm proud of him can't wait for next year when we both train harder.
Post it note Tuesday
4.28.2010 - 2 comments
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10:32
4.26.2010 - 5 comments
Heartbreaker
4.24.2010 - 2 comments
I keep everything. By everything I mean EVERYTHING. The old calendars from my date books, letters, notes, you name it I have it. I'll be the first to admit I cried a lot of tears over guys in high school BUT I'll also admit there is a reason they used to call me heartbreaker. I wasn't always the fat crazy (maybe was crazy) girl I am now. I used to be pretty hot. I was just going through some pictures and I came across a ton of love letters from guys. The humorous part is how many of them talk about loving me after I'd only known them for a week or so. The extra funny part is how many of them are dated in the same week but from different guys. I was kind of a player.
At least the guy in the car thought it was funny
4.24.2010 - 3 comments
I don't know if I've mentioned that Codi is pretty much potty trained. He wakes up dry every day but I'm mostly too nervous to let him sleep with out a diaper or pull up. This mean he is really new to learning when and where to go potty.
Things I do that really annoy my husband
4.23.2010 - 9 comments
He will put a fresh hand/dish towel on the counter, and with out fail I will immedietly use it to wipe up some kind of spill and then put it back. Drives him NUTS.
Sticky note Tuesday
4.20.2010 - 5 comments
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My new totally fucking awesome hair
4.19.2010 - 12 comments
Isn't it so super rad?
Because my husband has the best mother in law ever
4.16.2010 - 5 comments
Today, since it was Friday my mom thought it would be nice to take my husband and his crew some lunch.
I don't see this coming to an end
4.15.2010 - 7 comments
As I've mentioned before Rob and I have this stupid deal going. Until I reach my goal weight I cannot have anything carbonated and he can not have any food that comes from a drive through. We both go through periods of hardship but his is the worst when he sees KFC. This is yesterdays conversation, I don't forsee an end to this deal unless I magically lose 30 pounds huh?
Patty better love those fucking notebooks.
4.13.2010 - 11 comments
A few weeks back I went to Target to get myself a couple new notebooks. I always keep one in my car and one in my purse. I bought these:
Sticky Note Tuesday
4.13.2010 - 3 comments
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Add that to the list of things that really really really REALLY annoy the holy fucking shit out of me
4.12.2010 - 8 comments
I hate, hate, HATE when I go into a public restroom and there is a dirty toilet. I don't know why but if I walk in a stall and there is pee already in the toilet I have to walk out.
Then there is that
4.8.2010 - 5 comments
I forgot to mention the part where my trainer glanced down to see my New Moon bracelet and proceeded to spend the last 20 minutes of my work out saying,
Hows that now
4.7.2010 - 3 comments
Have you ever been totally drunk and then tried to blog? That is how that last post was, only instead if drunk I was totally delusional from my training. Here is what happened.
If I'm typing my trainer hasn't killed me....yet
4.7.2010 - 0 comments
Next time I get the bright idea to change my training from a half hour session to an hour session someone please feel free to kick me in the teeth because I'm pretty sure that would hurt less then this.
Checking in
4.2.2010 - 8 comments
I hate having to get all serious and shit with you guys, but periodically I have to, in order to give you an accurate update. I’ve been off the Lithium and Lamictal for a while now. I can tell you, that was a huge mistake. I can’t believe the difference. It was huge. Vivid. Worse then a pink elephant in a room, try a pink skyscraper with flashing lights and blaring music. I want to take you back a few months to a talk Rob and I had.
Rob has never really understood medicine. In fact a few people in my life haven’t. I think for people who aren’t going through what I am, understanding the necessity of it is hard. Rob has always said, “If you don’t want to be sad then don’t, mind over matter.” That would be easy if I had a brain that functioned like an average human. He has also always said he worried the medications were dangerous. Are they? Sure. Are the medications he takes for certain things dangerous? YUP. I always countered back asking him if he missed the person I was before the meds. Somehow in his mind he had kind of blocked it. He says he’s been with me for nine years and that is just the person he knows. I can’t begin to tell you how sad that makes me feel, to know that my husband thinks living with an insane person is normal. No one should find living with me normal. I told him I didn’t miss being the yelly screamy mom. The mom who became unhinged with a little question or spill or sneeze. I did not miss that. Again, he seemed to have blocked it out.
This past two weeks have been a bit of a reality check for him. When I came down off the medication I came down hard and fast. It was instant. He didn’t get a grace period. There was no time to ease back into the crazy lady it was just gone one day and BAMN it was there the next morning. I crumbled pretty fast. Very fast. Of course the first thing I did was self medicate. I bought some wine and had that after work knowing it would ease the tension in my head. Only that caused new tension because now I was drinking again and that was bad. He saw that too and commented on that. He saw me crumble nightly and he handled me with such care. I will never forget the night when he just grabbed my face and looked me right in the eyes and said, “Shannon I love you okay, I love you. I just need you to know I love you and I need you to be okay.” That was hard. It was hard knowing I had this man who would do anything for me, and having two kids who loved me unconditionally and I couldn’t function well enough to give that back to them.
I had been trying to see my doctor but he can’t see me until April 25th. My new insurance doesn’t have a single doctor available so I found myself at a crossroads. I was stuck. I had been hounding my doctors receptionist for a cancellation appointment and finally I just asked her to have the doctor call me. He did and about two minutes into the conversation he knew I was bad off. He asked if I wanted to go back on the Lamictal since it wouldn’t mess with my weight and it gave me energy. I said YES PLEASE NOW PLEASE HOW ABOUT YESTERDAY. He had a starter pack put at the front desk for me right away, luckily that will run out right in time for my next appointment. I think he was happy this happened, it was a learning experience for me. When he said I could go off with no fight thought that just meant it was okay, but now I see he needed me to learn that the medicine was actually doing me some good.
I’ve started back on the Lamictal. The hard part is it will take four weeks to be up to a useful dose. Which means I’m stuck in this darkness for another month. It doesn’t help that shit seems to seek me out when I’m in a fragile unguarded state like this. So many family things crept up this last month and handling it is near impossible. Very unlike myself this time I kind of just walked away from it. I sort of just shut it all down and pretended none of it existed. I wasn’t going to even attempt to sort it out or deal with it so I just put it on a shelf and I’ve decided I’ll maybe revisit it all when I get my head right again.
In the mean time my husband is being very patient with me. I kind of disconnected and I’ve picked a few fights (but he’s said some stupid things) and I’ve made it a hard couple weeks. I went to take a shower the other day and he popped up in there and asked if he could come in since we were low on hot water. He just kept asking if I was okay, if we were okay, and I am and we are, or, I will be and we will be. Again he just hugged me and told me how much he loves me. I think I’m lucky I ended up with someone like him. I can’t imagine going through all of this with another kind of man. Not all men would be willing to stick it out like he does. But it’s possible that he just loves me more then some husbands love their wives. Being married to him has often been a stabilizing force in my life. Knowing in the back of my head that I found someone that I actually belong with helps because it makes it so I never lose site of the fact that I do belong here, I need to be here.
Once again I find myself happy that my kids are young. I don’t want them to remember these phases. I hope from now on I can just stay on my medicine and be that good mom I was when Brandon was first born. I want to be the mom all the kids love. I want my boys to bring his friends to my house. I don’t want them to feel like they have to hide me.
I am also hopeful my head will get back in the gym. I’ve been going but not as whole hearted as before. I do my cardio but I’ve pretty much put my weights in the shitter. I have reasons of course, “I need to concentrate on losing pounds before I worry about muscle,” “ There is no reason to build muscle if you can’t see it under the fat.” I can’t wait to be back on a full dose of this medicine because that is what helped me kick ass at the gym. It made me crave the gym, want the weights, want to go every day, strive for 4-5 days a week. I hope so much that it will do the same this time and I will be back in action soon.
I am glad that I have hope. I’m glad that I haven’t been off the medicine so long that I forgot how good it was. I told Rob the other day that one of the hardest parts of coming down is the fact that I can remember how great every thing was only weeks ago yet it is nearly impossible to go back to where I was and it’s like a teaser reel playing over and over in my head.
As always I’ll keep you all up to date. I’m doing my best. Taking it day by day. Trying to shut my mouth when my husband sends me a warning glance because I’m being an asshole to the boys. Trying to pretty much avoid anything that will cause me to either become a belligerent jerk off or run home crying like a two year old. I’m trying. Trying is all I can do right now, and I’m doing it. Wish me luck.
I want money, a whoooole lotta money
4.1.2010 - 4 comments
So. GInger donated to my Fight for Climb this morning.
Fuck the wine, bring the vodka
3.31.2010 - 3 comments
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There isn't a big enough glass of wine
3.31.2010 - 3 comments
"Mom, come see what Codi did with the white stuff!"
My ass can't climb those stairs alone
3.30.2010 - 1 comment
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Sticky Note Tuesday
3.30.2010 - 1 comment
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Bad plan
3.29.2010 - 3 comments
Bad plan: Going off meds
Fight for Air...You want to climb how many stairs?
3.26.2010 - 0 comments
This...right here is why I'm selling that bike
3.26.2010 - 3 comments
Due to certain circumstances I have come into possession of a few spinning bikes. Because I don't want them I put them on Craigslist. EVERY SINGLE person who has come to see them has asked me why I am selling them. I mutter something like, "I had an incident with a spin bike," or "me and spin bikes just don't get along." When the truth is I think I should just print out my very first spinning post and attach it to the bike. Or perhaps I should put it in my Craigslist ad, then people will understand why those fuckers are up for sale. So, in honor of the bikes, from my archives I present:
See, now she looks like the geeky Twilight Mom
3.26.2010 - 0 comments
Katie bought me an Easter present. All I know is I'm glad she bought it because now she looks like the Twi-hard mom while I reap the benefits. I heart you Katie!
What we deal with here at work all day
3.25.2010 - 0 comments
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Ode to insurance...or...why I want to rip their head off and shit in their neck
3.23.2010 - 5 comments
I know I know, it feels like everyone complains about insurance. Which is why I never have but y'all this time I've had it. I've always been insured by my work which means I'm used to good insurance. It was expensive as fuck but it had set prices. None of this 80/20 shit, or deductible, or out of pocket IT WAS A SET FEE. You wanted surgery $500.00 wham bam thank you ma'am. When my husband moved to his current job, to save my boss about $1,200.00 a month I moved onto his insurance, since I wasn't having babies anymore insurance shouldn't be an issue.
Yeah...I'm a Twilight mom
3.21.2010 - 6 comments
Stupid Showtime and their stupid all day showing of Twilight. I CAN NOT STOP WATCHING. Which then makes me really really upset that New Moon is way out of my budget right now. But more then that it really pisses me off that Eclipse is so far away. While I'm bitching can I just mention that Breaking Dawn isn't even set to start filming until November meaning we probably won't even get to see the fucking movie until about 2030. Stupid fucking Summit. And, since I'm on the complaint trail Stephanie Meyers is a total asshole for not finishing Midnight Sun and the rest of that series. ASSHOLE!
Strawberry shortcake bites
3.20.2010 - 1 comment
And then I died and went to Heaven...while watching trashy movies on HBO.
Who gave me cable
3.20.2010 - 1 comment
I had a mild argument with Dish Network the other day. By mild I mean I got put on the do not transfer, do not help, do not talk to list. Finaly after putting some sugar in my voice I got through to someone who gave me three months of free HBO and Showtime. Let me tell you that I haven't had HBO or Showtime in probably 5 years. So I get all excited come home and, what the fuck these channels are garbage. TRASH. What happened to good movies.
Redemption mother fuckers
3.17.2010 - 6 comments
From this
Treasures from your past
3.17.2010 - 4 comments
I was just reading Lorie's blog when I saw this post. I could not believe it. I have that strainer.
But she sure loved pie
3.16.2010 - 4 comments
I'm not here right now. You see I died yesterday. Time of death: approximately 4:45 when trainer made me do third set of rotating back extensions. If I didn't die I'm sure I would be very sore this morning. In fact I'd probably be crippled. I would maybe even need some one to drive me around and ice cream to ice my knees from the inside. But I don't need any of that because I died. Go write my obituary now, make sure to include, "but she loved pie," after anything bad you might say. That's all, I have to go eat worms now, that's what dead people do right?
Hey good looking, whatcha got cookin, how bout cooking something up for me
3.15.2010 - 2 comments
I may be fat but I'm pretty sure I'm still good lookin, and I hope you now have that song stuck in your head. Here are a few things I made the last few days. There is more but I got lazy with the uploading so this is all you get. SO THERE! And just in case you didn't click the link I went ahead and added the song to my blog. Because yes, I'm that awesome that I listen to Hank Williams.
Sometimes royally fucking up in the kitchen makes you a fucking genius
3.15.2010 - 3 comments
Before you diss my pictures please know, I was on my husbands camera, and even if it turned out excellent doesn't mean it turned out pretty!
Good marketing
3.12.2010 - 2 comments
Local burger joints new advertisement ploy to get customers.
Because God is punishing me
3.10.2010 - 4 comments
So I decided not to go to the gym tonight. Rob wasn't going to but his friends at work made him feel guilty. While I was here alone holding down the fort with the two shit heads God paid me back ten fold for not going to the gym.
Post-It Note Tuesday
3.9.2010 - 2 comments
I stole this from Patty
In case you are participating in Lent
3.9.2010 - 0 comments
Quick chicken (or veggie) Pot Pie
3.8.2010 - 0 comments
Here I go again on my own
3.8.2010 - 3 comments
Friday on the way to the gym with Rob I told him how I had been Googling (is this even a fucking word?) all of my meds and that I found out that Lithium has a few side effects I don’t like I always knew it was a drug that could cause weight gain, I just didn’t know why. Turns out, for some reason it gives you increase appetite and thirst. I laughed out loud because the day before I was telling my mom I am NEVER full. At least now I understood. I had been telling my friends the hunger was like pregnancy. FEED ME OR DIE PEOPLE. Aside from that, it had the obvious side effect of being kind of sedating. So add 20lbs of food and a new habit of putting the treadmill down to 3.0 instead of 5.0 or 4.0 or even 3.5 and you’ve got FAT ASS! I didn’t weigh myself for almost a month. I wanted to see what would happen. Would I lose more weight if I wasn’t stressing on numbers? Well it was impossible to tell because the day I stopped weighing in was the day I increased my meds. I told Rob I felt like I was at a loss here, was losing weight so important that I would possibly go off my meds? Was gaining weight so upsetting that it was counteracting the good my meds were doing?
Look what Codi did
3.7.2010 - 2 comments
"Mom look what Codi did"
Archives
3.4.2010 - 3 comments
Sometimes I scroll through my archives lookin for a picture when I come upon a post from my old blog that still makes me giggle. I found one of those posts and I've decided to share it with you. The setting is Christmas 2008 Shannon very drunk on peppermint schnopps and hot cocoa (snugglers) when my iPod started playing some groovy high school beats. Next thing you know my drunk ass was doing cheerleading jumps in my living room. Notice in the first edition of this post that I did not mention the fact that my hot cocoa all had about a half a cup of liquor in it...guess I left that out huh? So, I present to you, from my archives, REGULATORS!
Dear Codi
3.2.2010 - 7 comments
THIS! IS! NOT! WHAT! WE! DO! WITH! SCISSORS!
Why Steve Jobs has officially been added to my list of five
2.28.2010 - 5 comments
**If you don't know who Steve Jobs is, your a fucktard (thank you Jen Lancaster for a new favorite word), so here, learn about my new #4 Steve Jobs.
You've been warned Reno (and yeah, I just admitted that thing about my thighs)
2.26.2010 - 5 comments
I'm done with winter Reno. Look. 10 Days ago I was parading around in a tank top and flip flops. The next morning fucking snow boots, long pants and jackets. I'm not impressed Reno. I am ready to spend the summer days in my little room with the windows open letting in the fresh air and warmth. I DO NOT enjoy having to leap through puddles and snow banks to get into my room. The middle of this week things were a little better. I didn't need seventeen layers including my Eskimo undies just to go outside. And then this!
Send me your recipes
2.25.2010 - 4 comments
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Overheard tonight at the gym
2.24.2010 - 4 comments
At our gym we have two kinds of treadmill. The normal kind that you get on and go and then another kind that has these little foot pads on the side of them. When you get on, you tell it the time you want to be on and then it asks you to step on the pads and it puts your weight into the machine so it can calculate your calories. So I'm chugging along on the treadmill reading my book when two women get on the machines next to me. And then I hear:
Where did you get that dish
2.24.2010 - 0 comments
I have gotten a few questions regarding the baking dish I posted below. It is by BIA Bakeware and it is part of their wavy collection.
Mexican Lasagna
2.23.2010 - 5 comments
Head over here to see the receipe
LIttle pink book
2.21.2010 - 12 comments
My Google Reader and I are having a bit of a beef. Sometimes it tells me links aren't valid, sometimes it doesn't update, and sometimes it is too full of the same ole shit. So. I would like for all of you to send me the link to your blog. If you think I read you, know I read you, or want me to read you, leave it here. It is time to update my reader. I want to get rid of all those blogs who never update, or the ones who are gone. Make sure they are right too. I had someone leave me a link to their website the other day to get an award and it said not valid. I always click out of the reader, so if you have ads I will see them. Okay, that's all. Ready, set GO, leave me those blog links!
I might not get to spend a lot of time in there, but I can still make a mess
2.21.2010 - 6 comments
(Forgive the photo quality I was using my husbands point and shoot and apparently I have totally forgotten how to work those little things)
A whole two hours
2.21.2010 - 2 comments
I had big plans for this weekend. I was going to clean a little house and then spend the rest of the day in my little room sewing and crafting and shit. I had a few people request my little sandwich lunchmabobs and I was excited to get some new fabric and get started. Maybe if I make some, and then don't suck too bad I could put some on Etsy and make a couple bucks. I did the cleaning and then headed to the fabric store which...bad idea. i might as well have been at a shoe and jean store when I was a size 2 little hottie in high school. I lapped the store about 89 times before leaving an hour and forty minutes later. Finally I made it home, slammed down some dinner and headed out. About an hour into it I started getting texts that Codi wanted me. Finally after about two hours I gave up and had to come in. I told myself it was okay because I had all of Sunday (today). Not so much. Why?
The story of a project
2.17.2010 - 11 comments
Brandon has developed a certain love for cheeseburgers lately. Specifically cheeseburgers ketchup only, with bacon on the side. About two weeks ago I pick him up from school and he says, and I quote,
It is about fucking time Walmart
2.16.2010 - 4 comments
For the last year I've been mad at Walmart. Look, I know they are in the business to make money, and I understand their whole bigger is better, bulk, giant, buy more, spend money woohoo outlook. But what really really REALLY gets on my nerves is is their super monster fucking shopping carts. First of all, when I'm doing a normal shopping trip I somehow find myself feeling like I have to fill it up. The time I have an actual problem is when I just need to run in for a few things. I obviously can't carry it all, but getting a giant brontosaurus sized shopping cart is just too much. WHY can't they just have a normal little hand basket like the rest of the stores.
You are all traitors
2.13.2010 - 7 comments
Why on earth did no one tell me about the movie "The Time Travelers wife?" I'm only twenty minutes into it and I'm already all choked up. Why why why did no one warn me. I thought this was going to be some movie about old people or something but NOOOOOO it's a fucking love story that makes me want to cry every ten seconds. Next year. Please, from now on I'm going to need a warning when this kind of shit comes on demand. Kthx!
Serious
2.13.2010 - 5 comments
The next time I try to go to the hair stylist I need you to come with me okay bloggy buddies! That means Patty you need to be ready to hop a flight on a moments notice when I need a quick trim, or Mathers you better be prepared for a long drive to hold my hand there.
Quiz part two (hint: there is a $10.00 Starbucks card waiting for the winner)
2.8.2010 - 6 comments
1. I am making a soy nut butter and jelly sammich, what flavor jelly do I use?
A few of my favorite Superbowl Commercials
2.8.2010 - 1 comment
And suddenly I seem so very very normal
2.4.2010 - 13 comments
My cousin sent me this link from our local paper today.
Is this bad parenting?
2.4.2010 - 3 comments
Codi is sick. He's had a fever between 101 ad 103.7 for the last three days now. At first he wouldn't eat but my mom and I got creative. In the last 24 hours Codi has eaten:
Have you ever found a song so perfect for yourself or someone that you can’t help but feel like it was created just for you?
In which you leave here more annoyed then you came
1.31.2010 - 5 comments
For the last four days my husband and I have been going round and round with songs stuck in our head. The other night I intentionally started singing one because I just knew it would get to him. I was right, the next morning he woke up so pissed off because he had been singing it all night.
You are very lucky ice cream people
1.30.2010 - 4 comments
Did that really just happen? Can people actually be nice?
1.27.2010 - 5 comments
Last week I ordered Brandon a cute new lunch box. I was tired of his metal one. It was fine when he was little but now that he is older and I need to cram a lot more stuff into it I knew a taller more flexible one was in order. I've been eyeing this Mackenzie Retro lunch box for months now and I kept talking myself out of buying it.
Why yes I am a fucking idiot
1.26.2010 - 10 comments
Lets do a science project mkay.
The story of a tattoo
1.24.2010 - 4 comments
Okay. I will tell you this story if you PROMISE NOT TO LAUGH AT ME. Capeesh.
Chicken and mushroom pockets
1.23.2010 - 0 comments
New ink
1.23.2010 - 4 comments
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I thought I was past all this hormonal shit
1.22.2010 - 3 comments
**News Flash**
An open letter to the assholes in the ice cream industry
1.17.2010 - 7 comments
Every year around this time you ice cream guys have a moment of genius and release the line of GIRL SCOUT COOKIE ICE CREAMS. Of course this includes the Thin Mint ice cream. Other wise known as the closest thing to a food orgasm that mankind knows. My favorite part about it all is that you were awesome enough to make it in slow churn too.
It's delurking week
1.15.2010 - 23 comments
My mom asked me to update you all on the boys
1.12.2010 - 7 comments
And this about sums up how they are doing
Thorn in my side
1.10.2010 - 3 comments
Or rather a rock in my shoe. Have you ever been walking and felt a rock in your shoe? Twice in the last seven days this has happened to me and TWICE I couldn't find the fucking rock. Last week I had a rock in my gym shoe. About the size of a half grain of rice. I got on the treadmill hoping I would be able to ignore the rock. I made it through the walk but when it was time to lift weights the rock was driving me nuts. I sat down on a weight bench and took off my shoe. I shook and shook and shook my shoe and nothing came out. At that point I thought maybe there was no rock, my there was a thread or something out of place in my shoe. I put it back on, took one step and there was the goddamn fucking rock. So, I sat back down took off my shoe and shook and shook again. This time I whacked the bottom of my shoe hoping maybe the rock was stuck and it would loosen. Again no fucking rock. I gave up and for three days that rock bothered me and then one day IT WAS JUST GONE!
Share with me your very odd fears
1.9.2010 - 23 comments
Last night making dinner I was shredding cheese and like always I caught my finger nail in it. I told my husband and he replied, "yeah I'm afraid of those things." I kind of played it off like that was totally normal but this morning while I was loading the dishwasher I found myself laughing pretty loudly at the absurdity of being afraid of a cheese grater. Now OBVIOUSLY I can't talk because I'm afraid of pretty much everything (water glasses, grass etc), but that doesn't mean I can't laugh at his ass.
It's been a while since I did this post
1.8.2010 - 1 comment
Some people like to do the game where they type in their name plus NEEDS in a google search engine and see what pops up, then post it.
Suddenly my Jell-o arms don't seem so bad
1.6.2010 - 6 comments
My cousin just sent me this....and suddenly my body seems like a super model
Your body is a wonder land...mine is more like a produce isle **UPDATED**
1.4.2010 - 12 comments
You guys are going to be SO mad at me
12.29.2009 - 18 comments
First of all I want to say thank you for all of the concerned comments and e-mails. I had no idea I was loved this much. I do need to tell you more though before Jiff has a fucking coronary and Laine punches me in the eye. I can't tell you how many worried texts and e-mails I got from people thinking Rob and I were getting divorced because of my previous post. By the way my husband says SHAME ON YOU for thinking we would break up, and that we would do it at Christmas. But whooo boy I sure know not to leave you guys hanging like that again huh, you all think the worst...Sorry guys.
Bravery
12.27.2009 - 13 comments
I might be the only one brave enough to rock a New Moon hat on the way to the grocery store at 10am.
And then it just stopped
12.21.2009 - 7 comments
My mom took my car to Carson twice last week and my shiny white car came back black. I tolerated it for a few days but this morning I was done. I needed it washed. I went through one of those touchless washes for a $5.00 wash. I pulled in and the little thingie started shooting the water and soap all over my car. It went towards the back of my car and then....it just stopped. I sat there for a minute thinking maybe there was a small power glitch or something and that maybe it would come back. NOPE. So I'm sitting here, my windows covered in soap wondering what the hell just happeend. I pulled out, drove around and found an attendent. He told me that somehow I had put my car in park about an inch too far from the sensor so after it went back the first time it just up and decided my car was gone and stopped. WHAT THE SHIT! He ended up getting me a new wash but seriously how does a fucking car wash thing just stop? I felt like such a tool just sitting there waiting, especially since I found out that he had known and was just watching me sit there and waiting to see how long it would take for me to figure out what happened. Awesome.
You should all feel very sorry for me
12.18.2009 - 5 comments
Breaking News
Finally someone else as demented as me
12.14.2009 - 10 comments
From the very first time I read the Twilight saga I have only had one question. Just ONE. I've asked my friends who thought I was over thinking it, I asked my husband who didn't want to hear it, I pretty much asked everyone and they all thought I was wacko. But then the other day, reading Kat's blog I found another person as demented as me.
It can't really be Christmas yet
12.13.2009 - 3 comments
I am failing at Christmas this year. Want proof?
I broke three nails for this
12.12.2009 - 3 comments
Rob and I don't eat out often. For a few reasons; 1. We don't like to spend the money, 2. we are working out and trying to eat healthy and 3. we don't like to spend the money. Tonight after the gym though we were both tired and neither of us felt like making dinner. We hemmed and hawwed about dinner and decided to go home and have egg sandwiches. However when we got home I was reminded that we had no mayo in the house. There went my delicious sandwich. I had been craving Port of Subs and Wing Stop sounded good to Rob so we decided to each take a little money from our personal fun accounts and get dinner. I left to grab the food and as I was driving I remembered Rob saying he had no ice cream last night. Since the wing place and the sandwich place were in the same center as Smiths I figured why not, what a nice surprise for him. There was still time left until his wings were ready so I meandered over there and parked. I opened my door, grabbed my wallet and stepped out only to IMMEDIATELY fall on my ass in the parking lot. Yes. I slipped, feet right out from under me in slow motion and landing on my ass IN MUD. My wallet flew into more mud and my keys flew under the car. So, I had to grab my wallet, roll over, reach under my car to grab my keys, pick up the wallet that I dropped again and then stand up while trying to maintain my dignity. I looked around and luckily no one had seen. Then I realized I had broken three nails. The frustrating part of that is they were long so they broke all jagged and weird. The more frustrating part is that I can NOT handle my nails like this I must clip them. Since I obviously didn't have any nail clippers in my workout pants I found myself fidgeting with my fingers. I kept poking them to feel the weird break, putting them in my mouth wishing I knew how to chew nails, and then fidgeting some more.
Fact
12.9.2009 - 0 comments
It is very hard to answer your phone at work with a beenie on.
And now I am a twelve year old
12.7.2009 - 7 comments
When Rob's parents were here for Brandons birthday they bought us a Wii to replace the one that was stolen at our old house. We only had one game this time, the sport one. Rob saw a new Mario game and my eyes lit up. I had to have that game. This weekend my mom went to Winnemucca to help take kids who can't afford a Christmas shopping at Walmart. As a present she brought me back the Mario game.
Musical Mashup
12.4.2009 - 0 comments
You know. Most of the time when you get in someones car and they plug in their iPod it is a little predictable. It's obvious whose iPod will be full of rap and R&B, who will be dedicated to only country, and whose iPod will be full of nothing but teeny bopper club shit.
Oblivious
12.3.2009 - 4 comments
A few weeks back my husband said something that really struck a cord with me. I asked him if he ever thought about what would happen if we broke up. He said no. I was stunned. I asked again, "well obviously when we fight it has to have crossed your mind right, I mean you have never thought about what would happen with the kids, the house etc." And he said no. Summarizing he said that he married me because he knew I was the one he wanted to be with forever. I know a few people reading this blog will find me naive but, I love knowing he feels that way. It seems like it is never the man who feels that. He said even when we fight it's never crossed his mind to leave. Somehow in his head he just knows we are meant to be together.
At least I wasn't the only one who fucked up on Thanksgiving
12.2.2009 - 2 comments
This year my mom decided she was going to bake pumpkin pies. I was pretty shocked because A: she doesn't really cook (she has been lately), and B: the extent of her baking is cookies. Wait, that isn't true, she does make some very...ummm, adult looking gingerbread cookies.
Dear husband, Next time rethink the free toilet paper
11.26.2009 - 4 comments
About a month ago my husband texts me saying that his work is getting rid of a big box of toilet paper.
What my son is thankful for IN ORDER!
11.25.2009 - 5 comments
Yesterday in class Brandon's teacher had them write what they were thankful for. I was sitting there with him and here is what he came up with, and in the order he came up with them.
Chicken Tortilla Casserole
11.24.2009 - 4 comments
This is what we had for dinner...low fat and low cal (unless you cook it like me)
Am I the only one who finds this so so so so so wrong?
11.23.2009 - 3 comments
Am I the only one who notices something so very wrong with this?
Thank You
11.22.2009 - 6 comments
When Ginger and I were little my mom got us hooked on the vianetta ice cream
HERO MAKER
11.21.2009 - 4 comments
About how I feel the morning after the midnight showing of New Moon
11.20.2009 - 1 comment
Free
11.20.2009 - 0 comments
Anyone in the Reno, Sparks, Carson area might want to pass on this link
Maybe I shouldn't mention this
11.18.2009 - 2 comments
Have you ever picked a booger so big you were worried you might have pulled out your nose ring?
Oy Vey
11.18.2009 - 4 comments
I have to shave my legs before I wash them
Letters from the crypt
11.16.2009 - 7 comments
Dear self,
My special little boys
11.13.2009 - 2 comments
So...one of them likes fairy wings and the other one loves lip gloss. Aren't my boys special?
Note to Codi
11.12.2009 - 3 comments
Please stop pushing on my boobs and then saying HONK.
It is like reliving pregnancy
11.12.2009 - 5 comments
A few weeks ago my husband sends me this article from Yahoo Health. It basically trashed soda, carbonation and sweeteners. He subtly hinted that I shouldn't have carbonated drinks anymore. Then when I said how hard it was he would say, "it's up to you if you want it have it," (read: If you do you are a massive fail who is trying to kill themself slowly and if you stay fat it's your fault so don't come crying to me.) Then he went from subtle to basically putting me on restriction from then until I reached my goal weight, hoping by then I won't want it. To make this point he found every carbonated off limits drink in our house and poured it right down the drain in front of me. ASSHOLE. Obviously to get back at him I put the kibosh on him eating any place with a drive through. (Which he promptly found a way around the very next day and still managed to get a greasy ass burrito in the morning. Basically I was left being allowed to drink water, tea, juice and coffee. I hate juice so that was out, and coffee makes me sick now, so, I am left with WATER AND TEA! I do drink milk but only in the form of chocolate milk and only if I'm sick or sometimes at dinner so that doesn't count.
It's like I'm living my life in a Miley Cyrus song
11.8.2009 - 6 comments
For the last week and a half I've been searching for a song. I was driving down the road one day when this song came on. At first I was like, "this song sucks." But then the longer I listened the more I started bopping and moving and before I knew it the music was blasting and I was full out club dancing in my car. The only thing I could remember from the song was that at some point it said "Pitbull."
I might never eat again
11.4.2009 - 13 comments
A few months ago Rob and I were watching Diners Drive Ins and Dives and Guy went to some place that had these amazing make your own s'mores. Later in that episode he went to an ice cream place. I commented to Rob that I could have an entire weekend surrounded by nothing but food. While we were watching Rob was texting the whole time and I was getting really pissed off. I kept asking who he was texting that was so important he couldn't watch TV with me. He shot me a dirty look and kept texting.
Make your best guess
10.30.2009 - 7 comments
Have I told you yet that my husband is taking me on a secret birthday trip? Well he is. This is all I know so far;
We are going to San Francisco.
Oh no she didn't
10.29.2009 - 7 comments
My smart ass cousin Lisa thought it would be funny to put this in my bag of birthday presents.
Its like my birthday has come early
10.28.2009 - 1 comment
Today's CVS savings
At least I am a super amazing discount shopper right
10.27.2009 - 0 comments
So. About the last gym visit. I met with the trainer for my first actual training session. I kind of expected to go over the equipment and get a simple routine. I showed up and immediately we began going over strength exercises. I was taking my time listening and learning what he said. He had me try each thing a few times. Next thing I know he says, “come on, hurry up we’ve got a lot to learn here.” Nine exercises later he tells me, “Okay I’m going to time you, I want to see how fast you can do fifteen reps of all of the things I showed you, one after another GO”
Things that totally get under my skin
10.22.2009 - 14 comments
First! You all fail. You were just supposed to know better then to say ketchup on meatloaf. We are blogger friends I thought we had some kind of telekinetic bond where you could just read my mind. The reason for the question. Every time I make meatloaf it just makes sense to me that you would put gravy on it. To my husband it makes sense to put ketchup on it. Which, okay if you want your meatloaf to taste like a hamburger FINE. My problem isn't with the ketchup it is with the 500 cups of ketchup he douses it in. After going back and fourth for a while he told me to ask you. AND YOU ALL TOOK HIS SIDE YOU BIG JERKS. You didn't just say ketchup, but there were tons of you saying SLATHERED, DRENCHED, SOAKED. Rubbish! So, now my husband is walking around all puffed up being like "hahahah I told you so, even your blogger buddies can't protect you." And I'm all "Watch it buddy I will so punch you in your nose."
Please settle the dispute between the hubs and I
10.19.2009 - 21 comments
You are eating a big plate of meatloaf, what do you put on top of it?
Is she still talking about the gym?
10.16.2009 - 8 comments
Turns out the other day wasn't my assessment. It was an orientation, my official assessment is Monday. My husband had his today and was sure to tell me what it included. First, I will need to do push ups until my arms give up, okay mark me down for two of those bad boys. Then I need to do sit ups until I can't anymore. I'll tell him I will sit up if he puts a donut in front of me. Of course they are going to pinch all of my skin which just sounds awesome right?
Guilty as charged
10.13.2009 - 17 comments
I am so guilty. I am…AN UNSHOPPER! Dun dun dun. Do you do this? You know what I mean. You get to the store, try really hard to stick to your list but of course a few treats or other things you “need” slip in the cart. Then, by the end of the trip you find yourself digging around in your cart pulling stuff out you can’t afford. I am notorious for this. I once with shopping to Sams Club with some friends for my husbands birthday party . I picked up a big bag of cups, then 15 feet away I found a better deal on cups so I put them in my cart, pulled the other bag out and stuffed it in the spot I was. One of the people I was with gave me a look of total and utter disgust. She picked up the cups and ran back placing them exactly where they belonged, neatly stacked with the rest. The remainder of the trip was spent with me putting stuff in the cart, going two isles over and finding something that was a better price, or tastier, and removing what was in my cart only to have this girl pick it up, run five isles over and put it right back in it’s spot.
Letters from the gym
10.7.2009 - 12 comments
Dear parking garage. I drive a big huge SUV which I happen to love. Do you think it would possible to make your parking spots and fucking smaller so I have to drive all the way to the top of the garage until I find an actual space that doesn't look like it was made for a bicycle. Do you know what kind of anxiety I get when I try and pull into a parking spot and worry that I'm going take out someone's entire car?
WORK SHIT
10.6.2009 - 3 comments
Dear Shannon,
Winner winner chicken dinner
10.6.2009 - 3 comments
The winner of the BBQ sauce is Rene.
The ultimate form of not sharing
10.5.2009 - 6 comments
Codi wasn't letting Brandon have his game for nuthin
Nerdasses
10.4.2009 - 2 comments
Not sure I ever showed you guys pics of my boys totally geeking out
I'm going to piss my pants soon
10.3.2009 - 15 comments
My husband went out of town yesterday, my parents took the kids so I could have a whole day to myself. I had no car because Rob took mine and my mom had his so she could drive around the kids. Somehow I convinced my Ginger to take me to the gym and work out with me. We left around 3:30 and before I knew it after working out, swimming, dicking around in the hot tub and eating dinner it was after 7 when I got home. This means it WAS DARK. Some of you might know I have an eensy little phobia of the dark. It got worse. I walked in and realized I hadn't alarmed the house. I wasn't expecting to be gone so long so I didn't even think about it. However, coming home, in the dark to an unarmed house WAS NOT OKAY. I immediately decided someone was in the house. I turned on the living room and kitchen lights and that was as far as I went. I wouldn't go in my husbands room because it was dark and a killer could be there. I couldn't go to the bathroom there because it was near his room. I couldn't lock the garage because it was near there. I didn't want to go upstairs because it was dark and the killer could be in the boys shower, or my room, or my bathroom, or closet or the boys rooms. So I froze on the couch and told Rob it was good I was home alone so they boys didn't get killed.
Country Bob's All Purpose Sauce
10.2.2009 - 8 comments
A while back ago I was contacted by Country Bobs asking if I would review their sauce. I agreed and I was sent two bottles, one to try and one to give away.
Paying it forward
9.29.2009 - 14 comments
Last week I found out I won a ring from Billie of Bugs and Snails. It arrived in the mail today in the cutest box ever.
Dear Codi, I am so showing this to your future girlfriends
9.29.2009 - 4 comments
Peanut Alert
9.28.2009 - 2 comments
For any of you who have peanut allergies or have kids with peanut allergies I thought I would post this.
Challenge
9.27.2009 - 5 comments
I posted a couple days ago about wanting Country Apple lotion from Bath and Body works because it had been discontinued here. Mandy commented telling me IT NEVER WENT AWAY IN HER TOWN!!!!!!!!
My grown up birthday list
9.25.2009 - 9 comments
My birthday is coming up. And even though my husband and mom are the only ones who read this, that would buy me something, you guys get to read it too, so you can get a look inside my heart.
I can't make any changes
9.24.2009 - 8 comments
Since I was little I have loved Lynyrd Skynyrd. Back before they became all popular again I was doing reports in middle school about how the one person who was no longer alive that I wanted to meet was Ronnie Van Zant, the original lead singer of the band. My teacher looked at me kind of funny when I turned it in, but not as funny as my very prim and proper friends mom did in 6th grade when I started reciting word for word “Gimmie three steps.” As you can imagine, some parents might find the lyrics to that song a little inappropriate for a 12 year old.
For sale
9.20.2009 - 6 comments
Two slightly used children who listen and take orders about once a week. Specialize in making messes and making extra loud noises. Not very good at sharing unless they are sharing tips on how to drive a person nuts. Will hide food in a moments notice, but don't worry it doesn't start to smell for a few weeks. Great at mopping the floor with water spilled from their cups. Juice also makes a great mopping solution and it leaves your floor extra sticky. Don't worry if you have carpet, banana mashes in nicely so it is barely visible. Keep lots of coffee handy these two kids are experts at waking up at 1AM and 4AM because they want a drink. Looking for something to cover that pesky hole in the wall look no further, these boys come equipped with extra boogers and are experts at picking them and wiping them all about. The little one enjoys taking off his diaper and watering the lawn with pee. Very useful for telemarketers as lying is one of their strengths.
Two boys
9.20.2009 - 2 comments
How to piss Codi off in one easy step
One bite huh?
9.19.2009 - 6 comments
Me: Brandon put away the cream cheese time for lunch
Duped
9.18.2009 - 3 comments
Somehow Brandon convinced me to let him stay home from school today and come to work with me. I just walked in to find him hanging from the pole in my office closet. Why? Because, and I quote, "we are monkeys mom." Well, that clears that up.
Still cookin'
9.17.2009 - 2 comments
Cheap, easy, and quick, sounds like the perfect dinner.
Funnies
9.17.2009 - 1 comment
I was going to post these on my sidebar but they showed up too small, so here, laugh!
Hey good looking, whacha been cookin
9.17.2009 - 1 comment
Turns out adult supervision really is required
9.16.2009 - 3 comments
I am not sure whose idea it was to trust a crazy person with their own medication. Seriously when they give you prescriptions they should assign you with a person aid to make sure you arent being a complete moron with your meds.
I know where I will be on our next shopping trip
9.14.2009 - 6 comments
This is the brand new shopping cart at Walmart
In case you were in need of dessert
9.13.2009 - 1 comment
Sandwich sushi, jello, and sgetti all the time
9.13.2009 - 1 comment
I used deli sliced cheese so it was extra thin and turkey sliced really thin. You can't really add much more then meat and cheese or it won't roll up well. Anyway I'm glad I finally tried this because Brandon really liked it and it was nice having something new to put in his lunch box.
I should post about anniversary huh
9.11.2009 - 9 comments
I am supposed to do a blog about my 5 year wedding anniversary today. That is what normal bloggers do. But hey, I am anything but normal. I love my husband, he is my world, but post one of those mushy gooshy blogs about love...I'm not sure who would be more embarrassed, me or him. However, if he were ever to hijack my blog and post something smooshy to me that would under the title of super romantic and less under the title of lame or the title of WOMAN STOP POSTING MUSHY SHIT THAT MAKES ME BLUSH.
The makings of a chore chart
9.9.2009 - 8 comments
So. After much thought I figured out Brandon's chore/behavior chart. The basis is this. In the morning he has six things to complete and at night he has six things to complete (for now). When he completes it he gets to turn over the picture to a smile face. Every smile face will earn him a nickle. Below that are four smile faces. These are for attitude. He will start every day with smile faces. But if he doesn't share, argues, whines, is mean, yells etc he will get a frown face. If he has more frowns then smiles at the end of the day he can not watch TV in bed. He has his own room now so that won't impact Codi. Brandon loves watching Wubzy after his bath before bed so this will really piss him off to lose that privilege. The second bottom has a space for six days. Monday through Saturday. I decided to give him a break on Sunday. Every day if he has all happy faces (or more smiles then frowns) he earns a SUPER Super man sticker. On If he has four out of six Superman stickers he gets to take his money to the dollar store. But, if he has less then that he has to keep his money in his bank and wait until next, hoping he does better.
Lunch box
9.9.2009 - 6 comments
I was browsing this blog last night. This lady makes the coolest little bento box lunches. I am totally coveting those bento boxes. I want them sooo bad but A: I can't afford one and B: my family would disown me if I got rid of Brandons Superman lunch box. Anyway she was making all these mini kabob things for her kids. Brandon has been getting kind of bored with his lunch so I decided to try it this morning. He is on a hot dog kick right now (shut up they are 100% turkey meat, no ears and hooves) so I used those, string cheese and cheddar cheese. I made him cute little kabobs. I can't wait for him to see them today when he opens his lunch box. This week when I visit the dollar store with Brandon I am going to look for some small cookie cutters. I like how she cut mini sandwiches out and put them in the little tupperware, or made mini cheese shapes. I'm glad I found her website, this is exactly what I needed to start sprucing up Brandons lunch box.
Putting it out to the blog universe
9.8.2009 - 3 comments
I was talking to my mom today about starting a chore chart for Brandon this week. I did some googling, and found one I liked. I found it at this blog. The basics of her chart (or how I think I read it) are this. Each day there are basic expected chores, brush teeth, take a bath etc, once it's completed they turn it over and it says done. I think if the kids complete their basic chores they get a set amount of money. Then on the right side they have the option to do other chores, like cleaning something, or taking out trash. Each of those chores has a value on the back. At the top they have clean up tokens, so if they clean up a toy or mess before they start a new one they get and extra .10 for doing that. At the end of the day they use their money to buy game tokens. What the tokens are, are 30 minutes of computer or Wii time. $1.00 equals 30 minutes. On the bottom are smiley faces. On the back are frowny faces. What I think happens is if they aren't being good or completing chores their smiles get turned to frowns. 3 frowns in one day means they can't cash in their tokens. They still earn them, they just can't spend them that day.
A couple Vegas pics stolen from Patty
9.7.2009 - 3 comments
No shit, it's the ziti
9.7.2009 - 2 comments
Letters to you, you and you
9.6.2009 - 10 comments
Dear mom,
Lets get something straight!
9.3.2009 - 10 comments
When you ask where I am from, and I reply "Reno"
The pressure
9.2.2009 - 6 comments
Pardon my absence we have had some interesting family stuff going on here, and believe me if I'm given permission I will so totally tell you all about it because...WHOAH.
I won something
8.30.2009 - 9 comments
I've been reading this blog Tunay Na Mahal for a long time. I have no idea how Sarah found me but she did and left a comment. One day I went to her site and I was totally hooked on her story. She had met her fiance online, they never even met for something like 2 years (sorry if I'm murdering the story Sarah), when they did meet it was for a short time in the Philippines before she had to leave again. In all the years they have been together they have only met 4 times I believe. She has an entire time line of their story and it's just nuts. My favorite part is coming up here in November (or is it October, see I suck) she is going back down there to see him again and GET MARRIED! Hopefully after that they can get going on the process to move him here so they can live happily ever after. Anywho, the point is, after all of her trips there she has become hooked on some Phillipeno products. She decided to do a give away of some of her favorites and
Shannon vs electronics (hint, I lose)
8.27.2009 - 8 comments
Do you ever feel like electronics are against you? Today all electronics were soooo against me.
First I was trying to print a brochure and Adobe decided to print two pages not one. The I put the first page in and flipped it and Adobe decided to print the first page again so I now had a two sided brochure with the same thing on each side. I attempted to reprint it and Adobe printed one page right side up and one upside down. I wanted to fuck that program up.
I never knew
8.26.2009 - 6 comments
I never thought I would be the first one of my friends married. I always assumed I would be 30 and still playing the game.
Things I wonder
8.23.2009 - 3 comments
Exactly how many times in one day can one kid say OW? Today Brandon managed to get a black eye jumping on the trampoline and stub his toe. Codi fell off a trampoline ladder and shoved a rolled up poster up his lips causing them to bleed. Aside from those major injuries I have heard ow no less then 30 times from each of them. What the fuck, do they think they are indestructable or made of rubber?
Introducing the TRIPLE PLAY
8.22.2009 - 6 comments
For my husbands birthday I got tickets for us to go to a ball game here in Reno. We had great seats and were having a great time. Suddenly I hear everyone around me say OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?
Kidisms....Or Shannon pretending to know shit
8.20.2009 - 12 comments
I learned this one from my doctor. If your kid will only eat a few things, but they keep asking for macaroni every time change up how you ask. Kids love choices, so give them a choice. HOWEVER kids have short memories so 90% of the time they will pick the last thing you say. If their choices are chicken, macaroni, or hamburger, and you want them to eat chicken, then you ask, would you like macaroni, hamburger or chicken? By the time they are done pretending to mull it over, chicken is the only one they will remember. It works, I did it to Brandon for nearly a year before he caught on.
Us
8.17.2009 - 12 comments
Forgive me if I get a few of the details wrong here it’s been a while. Forgive me if I ramble, some things are just so close to your heart it is hard to make real sense of them.
Dear son AGAIN
8.17.2009 - 7 comments
When I ask you to please stop bouncing the ball off the table the appropriate response is "okay mom, I'm sorry." The inappropriate response is "Mom you stop saying stop I can do whatever I do!"
Hello friend
8.16.2009 - 0 comments
All I got was this stupid picture
8.13.2009 - 5 comments
Did I ever tell you all about the time I met Dooce? Ginger and I drove a quatrillion miles down to San Francisco (Only it wasn't really San Francisco it was like 40 miles away from there). We had two of her books we wanted signed so off we went. She read from her book, she was super cute, very pregnant, and way too hawt for someone that pregnant. Not to mention she is fucking hilarious. I am now the proud owner of an original signed copy of her book.
Dear son
8.13.2009 - 9 comments
Dear Brandon,
Stuff
8.11.2009 - 8 comments
I had to ask my 20 month old permission to go pee tonight.
Crying uncle
8.8.2009 - 3 comments
Codi is still not eating. He is starting to lose weight, his bones show, and frankly he looks like some emaciated malnourished kid. I tried to get him to eat chicken, pasta, noodles, anything that was FOOD.
Embarrassing
8.6.2009 - 3 comments
I'm 27. Nearly 28 and I am so ashamed to admit that totally love the show iCarly. I think these kids are supposed to be in high school although they look about 12. It's on Nick Jr. It is for kids AND I CAN'T STOP WATCHING IT! Are any of you addicted to those silly little teeny bopper shows your kids watch?
Walmart hates me
8.5.2009 - 8 comments
You might remember the first time I discovered Walmart hated me.
FOUR
8.3.2009 - 15 comments
Let's discuss the lady at the pool
7.31.2009 - 6 comments
Now I know I owe you the rest of the Vegas story. But this part. It deserves a story on it's own. The worst part I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO SEE IT!
And then I felt old
7.31.2009 - 4 comments
My little 17 niece works for us. If we are being honest she is my cousin but she is 10 years younger then me so I've always called her my niece out of habit.
Because sometimes recipes fail
7.29.2009 - 0 comments
Cooking Light totally failed on this one!
So you're going to Vegas
7.27.2009 - 9 comments
A couple months ago Patty e-mailed me telling me she was taking her summer vacation to Las Vegas. I pondered the idea and thought, "hey I could just fly there, it's only an hour away." However after thinking about the cost of a plane ride, the taxi to and from the airport, PLUS the cost of a hotel I rethought I my plan. I decided I could drive there for a lot less. Only problem is my husband said I was not allowed to drive alone.
Dear Vegas
7.22.2009 - 9 comments
Open letter to the cop who pulled me over in Schurz,
You know it's a bad week when
7.18.2009 - 14 comments
When you put your underwear on inside out AGAIN.
First library trip = massive fail
7.17.2009 - 1 comment
So, remember that library trip from like ummm 3 weeks ago?
I know....I KNOW
7.16.2009 - 3 comments
Yes.
Smiths must be pretty hard up
7.15.2009 - 11 comments
Last night I had some time to waste so my mom and I went to the grocery store. We brought along Codi, which of course meant he had to snack as we shopped. I've always been careful to keep the packaging from stuff my kids snack on to make sure I get charged for it. So when he decided he wanted a fruit roll up I opened it up and tossed the wrapper in the cart. Three isles later after he was done using the fruit roll up as a sword he threw it in the cart and demanded something new. My mom was hemming and hawing over something in the pasta isle so I raced ahead in my cart and grabbed a three pack of Strawberry Horizon milk. Codi sucked the first one down before we even made it back to my mom. I opened a second one and then he found the little individual packs of Hostess donuts.
Good parenting at it's finest
7.11.2009 - 3 comments
When you are sick and your kids are sick and breakfast time rolls around, sometimes you get a little, well, you get a little lazy. That is why this morning my boys are eating ice cream sandwiches for breakfast. I don't feel bad though, because if you think about it, ice cream is made of eggs and cream, and the sandwich pieces are kind of like toast, so really, if you really think about it it's exactly the same as giving them scrambled eggs, with toast and a glass of milk for breakfast right?
Moms are crazy ass bitches
7.10.2009 - 6 comments
I remember when I had Brandon I was reading Jenny McCarthy's book I particularly remember her talking about stroller envy.
Look I can do it too!
7.7.2009 - 6 comments
Truer words have never been spoken
7.7.2009 - 2 comments
Relief
7.6.2009 - 10 comments
He must be my kid huh
7.1.2009 - 11 comments
I feel like the girl on Willy Wonka who ate a blueberry and blew up into a giant blueberry....only, I think I ate a fatberry instead!
The good, the bad, and the time I pissed myself
6.29.2009 - 7 comments
The bad: My husband’s windows are tinted so dark I can’t see when I go around corners at night. I have to roll the fucking window down to make sure I don’t go over a center divider.
Did I ever tell you guys about the time I hurt my...
6.28.2009 - 7 comments
Picture it, Reno, 2005 a girl about to have a baby (see how I channel Sophia there). I go to the doctor and find out that my baby is measuring 9.5 pounds. Looks like we are having a C-section. Between my extremely tilted uterus and my massive baby disaster was bound. 4 days later my beautiful 7.2 ounce baby was born. Anyway, the point is. Prior to the C-section I had a pre-op appointment at which I was told to shave near the incision line. I dutifully went home and did a little shaving only to arrive that day and have a nurse lift up my gown, frown and exclaim, "well that just won't work." Minutes later she is walking back in with a disposable bric razor and she is aiming for my baby maker.
I love debating
6.27.2009 - 2 comments
Right. So, lets go back to this post, you know the one about Kate spanking her kids. I promised you my opinion and here it is.
Today's humor
6.26.2009 - 3 comments
Shannon: HOW TALL ARE YOU AGAIN?
I NEED TO KNOW JUST HOW HIGH OF HEALS I NEED TO PACK
Let's have a debate
6.24.2009 - 14 comments
Before I put my two cents in (because y'all already know how I feel about spanking) I would love to hear your opinions on this particular incident!
Look who is cooking again
6.24.2009 - 4 comments
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Re-run
6.22.2009 - 9 comments
I love a lot of TV shows. Admittedly a lot of them are food ones. Top Chef, Next Food Network Star, Hells Kitchen, Challenge, etc.
Cookie Jar
6.22.2009 - 4 comments
This song totally describes my life. While I realize the singer is absolutely not talking about food every time I hear it I laugh so much because that is exactly how I am with food. I just can't refuse eating, in fact I wouldn't mind taking a fork and spoon to the delicious lead singer Travie of this band. I swear I have no control. I need a shock collar. No, more like a shock bracelet, any time I pick up snack foods, junk foods, sweet foods, excessive foods it can shock my ass until I learn to stop seeing just how many chocolate covered marshmallows fit in my mouth at once.
Now with bangs
6.19.2009 - 10 comments
Saw the hair man the other day. Got me some bangs and layers. Am to fat to take better pictures, but you get the idea.
Adult supervision necessary at all times
6.19.2009 - 5 comments
I've eaten really well all week. ALL WEEK. Until last night, when Rob went to dinner with his friend and took the kids. I was starving and home alone so I did the only logical thing a bi-polar foodie like me would do. I immediately ate a cookie. Then I ate three Burger King Cheesy Tots, a giant bowl of cinnamon toast crunch (at least 4 servings worth) and finally a fried egg sandwich with extra cheese and double mayo.
I looked cute for an entire 23 minutes today
6.19.2009 - 5 comments
Today I got all dressed up cute and came to work. 23 minutes into the day i answered a phone call when I suddenly got the overwhelming urge to vomit. I quickly put the lady on hold and ran to the bathroom barely making it before vommiting up the breakfast I had just injested 4 minutes prior. But, apparantly 27 years of vommiting doesn't train you not to puke all over your cute pants. Hell, with that kind of aim I might as well have been drunk huh?
HAPPY IPHONE UPDATE DAY!!!!!!!
6.17.2009 - 3 comments
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Humor Pie
6.17.2009 - 7 comments
You know, I think the only thing that keeps me sort of functioning is the fact that I am still able to see the good around me, and also the funny.
Ouch with a side of cake
6.15.2009 - 21 comments
Ouch. That shit hurts.
When my cousins come to visit
6.12.2009 - 5 comments
My cousins, Chris, Ben & Aaron came to see me today. This is what they taugh Brandon.
Ladies and Gentlemen we have discovered the fourth Gotti boy
6.9.2009 - 14 comments
I get the best presents
6.9.2009 - 12 comments
Ginger and I have been friends since the dinosaurs roamed the earth. That being said, Ginger has a habit of giving me really good gifts. This is because Ginger happens to be reallllly great in the kitchen and have a habit of showing up at my house with tasty treats.
Interview with Brandon age Almost 4
6.7.2009 - 3 comments
This has being going around and around the web, why not jump on the bandwagon.
I officially suck....aka...the winners of the giveaway
6.6.2009 - 2 comments
I am sorry. I only posted this give away a MONTH ago. I'm fucking awful. Heres the deal. I've been backlogged at work, upside down trying to get the bankruptcy stuff together, stuck in a depression, and buried.
The day I got fired
6.3.2009 - 11 comments
I guess I should mention that Codi has been trying to potty train himself. He does pretty good during the day. He peed on the potty about 9 times today. We have been so proud of him at work. What we didn't account for was him pooping on the floor. In all honesty I wouldn't even have known about it if he didn't start screaming bloody murder because he stepped in it. My cousin Victoria heard him crying and picked him up to clean up the poop off him and I ran to clean the poop off the floor.
From my garden
6.2.2009 - 8 comments
I don't like antiques but I do like vintage stuff ;)
6.2.2009 - 10 comments
My mom collects stuff. A LOT OF STUFF. The worst part is she will find stuff (garage sales, vacant houses, estate sales, the side of the damn road), and have no use for it, so she will just stuff it in a shed somewhere. For years we have battled over her "antiques." I don't like them. Still don't. However, some of the stuff I love, the stuff I classify as vintage and funky rather then old and junky. We have battled because she is terrified to die because GASP I might not keep all of her treasures stored in their various sheds. I'm kind of a believer that if you have something it should be SEEN!
Ooooh, so that is why I stopped wearing those
5.31.2009 - 6 comments
I was next door at one of my parents rentals today. Suddenly I realized I had to pee so I took off to my house. I got home and ran upstairs and quickly took of my shorts and undies. I did my business and then suddenly thought, "gee, that feels weird, feels like there is something dangling out of my butt." I thought for a second and then realized, in my big rush I DID NOT PULL MY THONG UNDERWEAR DOWN! I had just pottied on my undies!!!!!!!
For the first time in 11 years I am not affraid!
5.30.2009 - 7 comments
I checked my mail today and was delighted to see a big ole envelope from my bestest blogger buddy Cris Cullen. I was stoked, I was convinced more good mail would follow.
Fail sight
5.29.2009 - 7 comments
I've always worn glasses. For a very brief time I tried out contacts. I have never wanted to gouge my eyes out so bad. They were worse then the worst allergies I've ever had. I gave up and went back to glasses.
Eat your fucking vegetables kid (Link fixed)
5.28.2009 - 4 comments
OMG she cooks
5.27.2009 - 2 comments
Holy shit I posted a recipe. To see what it is go here.
I read a book
5.24.2009 - 17 comments
I just wrote this post. It was beautiful. Then I hit refresh, and since my new blog format doesn't auto save the whole fucking thing was gone. I'm pretty fucking pissed. Here is my redo, it won't be as great as the first because the first was from the heart with no thinking, and this version is the over thought version.
Lyrics | Eminem lyrics - Beautiful lyrics
Compulsions
5.20.2009 - 14 comments
Like I said in my previous post my therapist would like me to document things I am going through. One thing that stands out like a pink elephant in the room is when I start sinking down I go on spending binges. I always have. Before I would go charge up a new credit card. At one point I had two Target credit cards. I've been known to be in a bad way and come home declaring to my husband that we MUST buy a new TV now because the old one is just ugly. The next thing I knew we were opening a Good Guys account and not just buying the biggest fanciest TV but throwing in a retardedly expensive Bose surround sound with a subwoofer bigger then my car.
Quiet
5.19.2009 - 7 comments
I've been sort of quiet on here lately. I'm going through some stuff in my head and I guess I feel like there is only so much I can whine about it to all of you. My therapist and I were discussing strategies to help me during high anxiety situations. In the middle of it I stopped and told him, i feel like lately I've been getting sucked back into the hole. I noticed just 10 days ago I was on a high cleaning spree, on top of the chores, on top of my parenting. Suddenly I noticed a change. Doing laundry is like pulling teeth. Vacuuming? Who ME? how is it, my most favorite thing this week has suddenly become something I can't even stomach doing.
Assholes
5.18.2009 - 14 comments
A few weekends ago my mom and I merrily spent the day at the local nurserys buying things for my garden. Potatoes, onions, chives, basil, cilantro, peppers, tomatoes, oregano, etc. My garden was going to be glorious. The next morning BAMN peppers, onions and half the tomatoes gone. Cilantro GONE!
TO DO LIST
5.15.2009 - 1 comment
I'm leaving for CA this weekend to see the in laws. Since this means I usually have a ton of free time I plan to pack my laptop and spend all of Satruday posting the winners to the contest and posting all of the correct answers plus the ones that made me laugh the hardest. I also have a couple recipes to post on the food blog. So Yay! I'm going to get all caught up and shit! Also, I know who the winner is already. I also know there is going to be two small prizes for the runners up!
Isn't that a Bush song
5.13.2009 - 13 comments
A few weeks ago at the advice of my general practitioner I made an appointment with a Psychiatrist. My doctor did not feel comfortable giving me a second medication with out the advice of someone who has extensive backgrounds in drugs.
Winners
5.12.2009 - 0 comments
So. If you are wondering why I haven't announced the winners yet it is because I just found out G-mail had spammed 32 of my comments.
Wait, was it mothers day or something
5.12.2009 - 8 comments
Sunday morning i woke up to find the server that hosts my blog was down. That is why there are no super heart felt posts from me. Late Sunday they got it back up and running, unfortunatly the server in my head did not start processing until just now.
Ummm what do I do with that
5.7.2009 - 10 comments
Ginger and I went and got pedicures together this weekend. As I was sitting there having my toes painted when a girl walked up to me, looked at my toes and said;
Check out the boys new house
5.6.2009 - 5 comments
You can see it here on my flickr. We already put their grill on the deck and their table and chairs. When the windows go in we will paint and move their kitchen in and a couch. My super awesome niece got this for us. Two of them actually. Where she goes to school they build these little mini houses to practice learning construction. They do three practice houses and then build one nice one at the end to auction off. They gave us the practice ones. Click the flickr to see the inside. They have electricity, plumbing, stairs and a deck!
HI
5.6.2009 - 1 comment
Sorry I haven't been here in a while. I've been busy, doing a whole lot of nothing. I'm catching a cold which, suck town!
Put your study hats on
5.2.2009 - 13 comments
Yay time for another give away. Since Mothers day is just around the corner I decided to concentrate on that. I am posting a little quiz for you. Some of these may be trick questions. Each question is worth 1-2 points. However even if you answer wrong, if I like your answer enough I'll give you a point. Flattery might get you an extra point. Non flattering answers might make your comment accidentally get lost in the Spam file. Answers that make me laugh really hard get bonus points! The prize will be something directed towards moms. You can still answer if you are not a mom and you can give the prize to your mom. The prize might be something relaxing or filling or, whatever, who knows but it will be good. The more people that answer the question the bigger the prize will be. That means if only five of you answer I might only feel like giving away a $7.00 gift card to the dollar tree! This means if you procrastinate and say you'll get to the quiz later and then forget you are totally screwing the other possible winners because your comment could be the difference between a $7.00 gift card and a $30.00 gift card!
photo
4.30.2009 - 8 comments
Crissy tagged me for this. It's been going around the blogosphere for a while now. Take a picture of yourself right then and there. No make up, primping, posing. You can see how tired I am if you look in my eyes.
Self portrait
4.30.2009 - 14 comments
Are my mom and I the only ones wondering why Brandon gave himself a nice fluffy pair of boobs?
It's getting worse
4.29.2009 - 15 comments
As you can see I spent the day cleaning. A lot. I spent my night cleaning too. I vacuumed twice today and I have hard wood. One room has carpet and I have one small area rug. I vacuum the wood though, In the corners, under tables, all the edges, etc. The past two weeks I have encountered days where I have vacuumed my house 7 -10 times a day. I've been trying to do dishes daily. Trying to keep up on laundry. Today I went crazy organizing things and I kept going into the night. I'm constantly walking around after the kids picking things up. After dinner I did the dishes, scrubbed my stove and counters, and cleaned some other things up.
How I spent my day
4.29.2009 - 9 comments
Before
Passed out
4.28.2009 - 7 comments
This is not what I had in mind when I asked you to share Codi!
4.28.2009 - 3 comments
Then and now
4.27.2009 - 8 comments
When I first moved into this house I was in need of some couches. I knew I couldn't afford anything spectacular so I turned to Craigs List. Imagine my surprise when one day my mom found these gorgeous down slipcover couches for only $400.00 on day. Turns out the guy spent $3,000.00 on these two years ago at Macys. His wife was from England and for whatever reason she was deported very quickly. This left him with an entire house to empty so he could get there with her. He was selling everything for dirt cheap. In fact he was in such a hurry he also threw in a coffee table for Rob's man room, a very cute little stool and my favorite fake plant.
This weekend the Universe was against me
4.26.2009 - 12 comments
Yesterday morning I woke up in desperate need of some coffee. I started it brewing and ran to get dressed. Finally I ran downstairs poured some creamer in my cup and grabbed the coffee pot to fill it up. I was in such a hurry I didn't even realize the coffee pot was barely full. Then I noticed a few coffee grounds in the pot. Uggggg, I was thinking the coffee filter tucked over like it does sometimes and a few grounds got in the coffee. Upon closer inspection of the coffee pot I noticed that it was FULL of coffee, and grounds, but no filter. Hmmm. It would appear that I had forgotten the filter all together. So the basket just sat there filling up and over flowing. When I stuck the pot back in somehow it loosened the grounds and WHOOOOSH coffee went everywhere. It took me forever to clean the coffee maker out, dig out all of the grounds and start over.
Tales from the Crypt
4.25.2009 - 8 comments
One night the boys were both in the bath. Brandon started farting and thought he was HILARIOUS. We all laughed and it just egged him on. Finally we finished up the bath, washed the boys and got them out of the bath. Our routine after a bath is that Rob takes Brandon wraps him in a towel and puts him in bed under a bunch of blankies to dry. I handle Codi, get his teeth brushed and sit downstairs with him while he relaxes and gets ready for bed. While Brandon dries Rob goes in and drains the bath and rinses it then handles Brandon. It works out nicely. So this time Brandons in his bed giggling about all his farting, I'm downstairs and I hear,
I'm cancelling cable when they turn 16
4.22.2009 - 10 comments
I've been cleaning my house all day. I get the bright idea to sit down for lunch and see what's on, ON DEMAND. Nothing. Thats what. So I decide to look at pay preview. Here are the first things that pop up.
Bringing spring in
4.22.2009 - 5 comments
B&C Park
4.21.2009 - 9 comments
The weekend started with the boys in their fort. My mom built it for them
In my front yard
4.21.2009 - 3 comments
Getting caught
4.21.2009 - 6 comments
I've never been too good at following the rules of parenting. My kids have always eaten the wrong things. Case in point, my dad fed Brandon Krispy Kreme when he was three months. Codi has eaten chocolate, dirt, and other things babies shouldn't. On Sunday Brandon had 4 different kinds of popcicles, because it was Sunday and we were working outside and WHO DOESN'T LOVE POPSICLE?
Heaven
4.21.2009 - 3 comments
I've come to conclude after picking up cocoa crispies off the floor for the 17th time this morning (no exaggeration) and sweeping up toast crumbs and banana mush twice this morning that in MY HEAVEN THERE WILL BE NO GODDAMN FUCKING CRUMBS!
Function
4.20.2009 - 2 comments
I have a great post coming up about where I've been since Easter. I've been building a park in my back yard. However, what I want to talk about right now is function.
Kids say the darndest things
4.17.2009 - 3 comments
Brandon: "Codi you're a silly munchkin."
It doesn't work if we are in there
4.17.2009 - 8 comments
Last night Brandon was eating dinner midway through he declared he was full. As he was getting down he looked at us and said,
Savin' at the store
4.14.2009 - 16 comments
I stopped writing about my store savings for a while. I did this because I felt like I was only regurgitating what I had been told, rather then what I knew. It's been a few months now and I have a better handle on things. When I started the envelope system I started it budgeting $100.00 per week on groceries. This did not work. Here is why. Lets take a four week month for example, I'll break down in weeks about what I would buy.
Alert the press
4.12.2009 - 4 comments
CODI ATE CHICKEN NUGGETS & GOLDFISH CRACKERS!
Surprise rain shower
4.10.2009 - 8 comments
We had some surprise rain here. I ran over and got the boys rain coats and we commenced puddle jumping. We all took turns searching the property for the biggest puddles.
RUINED!!!!
4.10.2009 - 4 comments
For years I have loved REO Speedwagon. They have some great love songs. Great, he dumped me and I' sad so I'm going to blast this song, songs. Then, today for some reason I watched a video and I was appalled.
The AM
4.9.2009 - 10 comments
This morning wasn't any better. Brandon just pushed and pushed and pushed. His teacher says he is at what they classify as the "defiant age." No one told me being a mom would mean I would have a 3 year old toddler throwing things at my head, or laying on the floor kicking and screaming. No one told me that the things you see on Supernanny really happen. Kids really slam doors and kick their toys and throw their clothes. They really lay in bed shouting NO NO NO louder and louder until you feel like it might be easier to live outside under a tree then in a house listening to that fucking bullshit for one more minute.
Jumble
4.8.2009 - 11 comments
I have so much I want to talk about.
Them
4.8.2009 - 8 comments
The one who plays in the toilet
Nice try dad
4.7.2009 - 6 comments
I'm upstairs laying in bed with Codi, like I do most mornings making sure he doesn't jump off our bed, suddenly I hear little footsteps coming running into my room and right up into my face...
Breaking news
4.6.2009 - 11 comments
Codi just dunked a washcloth in the toilet and rubbed it all over his head, the floors and my walls.
Project
4.5.2009 - 12 comments
Katie's birthday was last week. Last night we celebrated her birthday by having dinner. I had gotten her a present, but as I was gift wrapping it in a Whole Foods reusable lunch bag (her old one was ugly) I remembered something else that drove me nuts.
How did you find me?
4.5.2009 - 9 comments
Marni just did a little post showing the things people googled to find her. Then she asked us to do the same. So, here you go, the things people googled that led them to my blog!
It is too early for this conversation
4.3.2009 - 14 comments
This conversation takes place this morning while I was attempting to change my maxi pad only seconds after waking up.
Happy April 1 means Happy April fools JACKASS!
4.2.2009 - 12 comments
A text conversation via my husband and I
Ouch
4.2.2009 - 7 comments
Chicken Caprese Pasta
3.31.2009 - 6 comments
The things parents do
3.31.2009 - 6 comments
Long ago, to get Brandon to eat his brocoli I took a page from Parents magazine, and told him they were little mini trees. It worked, he loves them still to this day. (He also still calls them trees but, meh who cares.)
Tick tock tick tock
3.31.2009 - 12 comments
On my last visit with my shrink I made a few comments and noticed him furiously scribbling away. Later when there was a lull in the conversation he said, "lets come back to when you said you don't go to other peoples houses because they are dirty.
I know exactly how Edward feels
3.31.2009 - 7 comments
I have this friend Ginger. We hang out a lot. And every time, with out fail it happens. She opens my car door to get in, the wind catches her and my entire car is filled with her sent. This shit. Every single time the second I can smell her I am torn between wanting to jump out of me seat and lick her or wanting to punch her in the face for smelling so good and being a girl.
Tidbits
3.30.2009 - 8 comments
* I am driving to San Francisco Wednesday to Meet Dooce and get my copy of her book signed. Woohoo!
EARTH HOUR
3.28.2009 - 6 comments
Earth Hour 2009 by WWF - Sign up for Earth Hour!
Feed Reader Reminder
3.28.2009 - 1 comment
If you want to add this blog to your website please add
So what did you do today
3.28.2009 - 8 comments
Disclaimer: This was really from yesterday but I didn't get a chance to post it.
He must have really wanted his house cleaned
3.27.2009 - 6 comments
My cousin Lisa just sent me this link:
Gotta love husbands
3.26.2009 - 8 comments
What happens when your husband comes outside to the grill where you have taken over and says:
Showoff
3.25.2009 - 9 comments
Not wanting his dance moves to be trumped by Codi's Brandon asked me to document his moves on film, here is my favorite. He is dancing to his new favorite song, "Makunkunga face" (translation, Poker Facy by Lady GaGa).
Enjoying the Mundane
3.24.2009 - 8 comments
My husband used to tell me that being a vegetarian while I was pregnant ruined Brandon. He said this because for almost two and a half years Brandon hated meat. In fact for about two and a half years Brandon existed on macaroni, Cheeto’s and string cheese. Then one day it was as if he woke up a new person. Suddenly he loves food. More specific he loves meat. Brandon devours chicken. He loves my roasted chicken, grilled chicken, chicken tacos, CHICKEN covered chicken. He loves steak. He loves Spam (in his world it is meat). He thinks pork tacos are the greatest in the world. He loves brown rice and white rice. He would eat broccoli every day if I let him. Corn of course. He even loves edamame. Last week I even found him eating mushrooms. He likes gravy and bacon and potatoes. Grilled cheese, egg sandwiches, pancakes, yogurt and toast. Spaghetti makes the world go round ad cheese, is like the cherry on top. The point is, Brandon eats. In fact, right now he is eating a soy chocolate ice cream sandwich, yes, my boy eats soy ice cream. In fact here is a clip of the conversation that just took place.
Me: Brandon if you eat all of your dinner you can have a surprise
My Super Men
3.23.2009 - 3 comments
Ain't that sexy? My hubby in the kitchen making me a salad!
In which you all think I've lost my fucking mind
3.23.2009 - 6 comments
When my biological father died, I dreamt of him often. The dreams were almost always the same, I would be taken to some big fancy house where my dad stood in a white suite with white patent leather shoes telling me, it was all a joke, he was really alive and surprise he was rich and life was okay. Odd.
Coming off the hate train for a minute
3.23.2009 - 2 comments
Today's song is a new one by Beyonce. I loved it the very second I heard it, because it reminds me exactly of my husband. So, here are the lyrics you can read them, or turn up your speakers and listen to them.
And the winner is...
3.23.2009 - 3 comments
PLZ SEND COFFEE
3.23.2009 - 1 comment
Am tired. Please send coffee. Preferably with caramel and lots and lots of sugar kthx!
Music
3.21.2009 - 1 comment
I generally don't like to play music on here that is really current. Because who knows how I will feel about it in a week or two. However this song by Apocalyptica is one of my favorites. I love this song. I realize it is a little more rock then most people like but fuck, does this totally speak to whats going on in my head in so many ways right now. So, if you don't like rock hit the mute button, but, if you like a good song, turn up your speakers and rock the fuck out!
Ultimate Blog Party
3.20.2009 - 11 comments
Final Pay it Forward
3.20.2009 - 2 comments
Hey guys, Crissy the last winner of my Pay it Forward contest is hosting her own pay it forward today, so go hurry up and enter....she gives good prizes too!
Them
3.19.2009 - 9 comments
Thanks for that Codi
3.19.2009 - 8 comments
I haven't talked much about Codi's teeth on here, because really how interesting are teeth? I know you are all sitting there obsessively refreshing your readers hoping that today I will talk about teeth, or ooo maybe even ear wax right?
Yes I am a dork
3.18.2009 - 6 comments
The other night Codi woke up crying. He often does this around 3-4:00am. Usually at this time I bring him in my bed. He was sniffing a lot and sucking a lot of snot. I reached around groggily, grabbed a tissue and wiped his nose. A half hour later I heard it again, sniffle sniffle, choke, gag. I grabbed more tissue, wiped his nose and we both fell back asleep. That morning when I woke up in the sunlight I looked over to see my babies face covered in BLOOD.
The knife
3.18.2009 - 5 comments
A few of my favorite things
3.16.2009 - 6 comments
Lucky
3.16.2009 - 9 comments
I often hear that I am so "lucky" to be able to take my kids to work with me.
FINALLY A GIVE AWAY WOOHOO!
3.16.2009 - 14 comments
So. For a long time I've been that person who really didn't have to do much with their face. I washed it when I remembered and yet I still had a pretty great complexion. After Brandon I started using Philosophy just for funnsies. Thought maybe it was time to start doing some maintaining you know. However. Recently nothing has helped. My face went into MASSIVE TEENAGE BOY BREAK OUT PHASE. I got crazy and started trying out new products. What I would do is go to Sephora and ask for samples of stuff. Try it for a while and see what happened. NOTHING WAS WORKING. My face was screaming out mayday MAYDAY FOR FUCKS SAKE WOMAN FIX ME UP.
yeah yeah the giveaway sheesh
3.16.2009 - 2 comments
Yes! I promised a give away Friday. But y'all I just got so caught up in the business of being me I never got time to upload the photos. Now I'm at work and the pictures are over there <------- at my house. But it is coming today. It's a good one. First I need to figure out what I'm going to make you do for it. So, check back it will be up by 5pm my time which is...Reno time.
Where is the soap
3.15.2009 - 14 comments
This morning I was trying to get Brandon dressed. i was pleading with him to please just put his dirty underwear in the hamper. He got all pissy with me the following is what took place:
Feeling Hawt despite the chaos
3.13.2009 - 6 comments
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Fucking Reno
3.12.2009 - 11 comments
This weekend I did a little shopping. Rob and I are doing the envelope system and we each get a little bit of money weekly. I had been saving mine and finally decided to spend some. Since having the boys I fell into a bit of a clothing slump. What I would call FRUMPY LAND. My closet was full of basic shirts, sweaters and jeans. Shoe wise, it was converse, vans, flip flops, or winter boots. Once upon a time I had cute stylish clothes and shoes but as each pregnancy came and went I found myself tossing them into the garage sale bin. "Moms don't have time to dress cute" I often thought. Finally I decided to start working on my clothes and shoes again. I am slowly building a nice collection of "cute" things. Things that don't make me look like a bum, or like, that mom who couldn't pull herself together to go to the park.
Morals
3.12.2009 - 5 comments
Is it wrong that I am currently dancing around my living room with my fifteen month old child in my arms to the tune of Dr. Dre's Next Episode?
Please note
3.12.2009 - 6 comments
Comments are now located below the post. It should be a simpler comment form and easier to work. Try it out. Leave me a comment.
Journaling and other tidbits (this is long but worth it)
3.11.2009 - 10 comments
I had my first meeting with a psychologist on Monday. Moments before the appointment here is what I wrote in my journal while sitting at various stop lights, and then in the waiting room at his office.
Tides Loads of Hope
3.11.2009 - 2 comments
I was contacted by Blog Her to post about Tide's Loads of Hope program. I had no idea what this was so I followed the website. Here is what the website says:
To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid!
For those of you wondering how my diet is going
3.10.2009 - 6 comments
I currently have about 9 boxes of Thin Mints in my pocession. Along with 5 other boxes of Girl Scout Cookies. You see, after I posted about wanting to order some, Nevada Nanny contacted me. I ordered about 5 boxes from her. Then Angie called and I felt bad and ordered a box from her. She, trying to sabotage me and win on the Tuesday Tummy Tuck bets we have going on showed up with TWO boxes of Thin Mints. The next day Katie walked in with TWO more and I was all, "oh fuck mama is going to need some fat pants this month." Only, since then, two weeks ago when I got my first box I have eaten a total of five cookies. My husband is doing an excellent job of making sure I stick to my diet. His way of helping is simply to eat all of the cookies himself. Here is the most recent text message I got from my husband.
Well that's a good deal
3.10.2009 - 3 comments
In honor of my great grocery savings this week I would like to pass some savings on to you. If you visit
Note to husband
3.8.2009 - 8 comments
The clock on my nightstand says 7:58 AM.
And then I realized I was a mom and I had TWO BOYS
3.7.2009 - 11 comments
Went shopping today. While I would love to tell you how I got $130.00 in groceries for $50.00 I am going to tell you how going shopping with boys is a fucking retarded idea and unless you are the kind of person who likes stabbing yourself in the eye repeatedly with a fork DON'T DO IT!
Love
3.5.2009 - 6 comments
Another bag
3.5.2009 - 1 comment
Tabitha posted the link to what's in her bag...and damn her bag is organized!
WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER
3.5.2009 - 4 comments
So the winner from my "guess how much change is in my ridiculously large purse contest" is ...
Thank you
3.5.2009 - 1 comment
One of the things I love about my new website is the little CONTACT button right up there. I have receieved SO SO SO MANY special emails from people responding to my posts. I feel like maybe some people are afraid to leave comments so they just let their words pass. But now that they can email me privately it is like they are brave and feel like they can share.
It eludes me
3.4.2009 - 5 comments
Sleep has been weird since I started my medicine. I am able to sleep better, for longer stretches but I dream. Not just any dreams, very detailed dreams. Dreams that sometimes are just weird and nonsensical and dreams that sometimes are too real, too much that I have to wake up. I have a hard time falling asleep, but tylenol PM helps with that. My problem is the dreams. Sometimes my dreams are so busy I have to wake up because my head can't handle it.
Put a ring on it
3.4.2009 - 5 comments
You know what drives me crazy? When Hollywood trash magazines instantly assume someone is getting a divorce because a woman is pictured with no wedding ring on.
Happy Birthday Papa
3.2.2009 - 3 comments
Today is my dads birthday. I made him this great video as part of his present. It is a little long (12 minutes) but if you can make it to the end, past the PS part you are in for the biggest surprise of your life. Also, I totally double dog dare you not to get this song stuck in your head!
Lets play a game
3.1.2009 - 11 comments
WHAT'S IN MY BAG!
Song
2.26.2009 - 3 comments
I put up one of my most favorite songs, so click out of your reader, turn up your speakers and listen. It 100% goes with the post below.
The demons
2.25.2009 - 14 comments
Someone asked me recently, "why did you have two kids if you need to take medicine to deal with them?" I didn't reply because, well the reply would have taken hours. The first thing is my kids are absolutely not the reason I am taking medication. The demons in my head are. Long before I had kids I had these demons. Demons that made me go to sleep on the couch in my living room with the front door wide open, while I lived alone because I didn't care what could happen. Demons who could squash my overwhelming fear of the dark and make me go out at midnight walks never fearing what could happen. Demons that would make me pull out pictures of my dead grandma and look at them until I cried. Demons that made me go to the coroners office and ask for my dads autopsy report just so I could cry over it all.
And, in case you don't like tofu, I present Curry Chicken over Rice
2.25.2009 - 0 comments
Curry Tofu over rice
2.25.2009 - 1 comment
I am never eating again
2.24.2009 - 11 comments
I was watching Food Detectives this morning when an interesting story came on. How do manufacturers get color in their foods? I was appalled at one answer and did some research of my own. The following is taken from a Website called Natural News"
I curled my hair and then played on photobooth
2.23.2009 - 2 comments
Corporal punishment
2.22.2009 - 8 comments
As you all know I am totally against spanking, hitting, slapping etc when it comes to kids. I have gotten better about other people doing it. If you spank, fine don't talk to me about it. If you do it in front of me I have gotten really good at turning around, counting to ten and calming down rather then decking you in the face to see how you like it.
Tasty Temptations
2.20.2009 - 5 comments
Hey y'all check out the food blog. I've updated it and revamped it making it prettier!
Summer chicken salad
2.19.2009 - 6 comments
And it permiated the depths of my soul
2.19.2009 - 7 comments
A prayer for the anxiety ridden
2.19.2009 - 3 comments
Dear God.
Dear husband
2.19.2009 - 11 comments
If you insist on leaving the downstairs bathroom with only three sheets of toilet paper on the roll, that is fine, I am used to that.
Blow your mind basil chicken
2.18.2009 - 7 comments
Pay it forward
2.18.2009 - 9 comments
Music
2.17.2009 - 4 comments
I feel lost with out the music on my blog. I have this great song stuck in my head, it goes with everything going on in my mess of a life right now, and all I want to do is share it with you all. However, I'm being told that I shouldn't have music on my blog now that I have a big girl blog. So. I guess y'all never get to hear my great song!
He is one smart cookie
2.16.2009 - 4 comments
(Brandon speaking to me)
Say what now
2.14.2009 - 8 comments
So, I finally get in to see the ultrasound lady she is a really nice older lady with a sweet grandma type voice. I mentally remind myself not to cuss or call anyone a slut for the 20 minutes I’m in here. I lay back and she hands me the wand to insert. That is my least favorite part. Having to put this long dildo thing inside myself…very weird. She grabs a hold and starts looking at various girl parts on the monitor. There is your uterus, there is an ovary, oh look your follicles are bigger on this side (follicles are eggs…which means I’ll ovulate on that side next which means OUCH MOTHERFUCKER PAIN!)
AND THE WINNER IS.....
2.13.2009 - 2 comments
Hungry for some fried chicken
2.13.2009 - 5 comments
If so come here for the recipe
Cupid Clusters
2.13.2009 - 3 comments
How I almost ruined my pretty panties
2.12.2009 - 10 comments
I had an appointment today for an ultrasound. It was scheduled for 12:30. I quickly ate lunch and realized I had to pee. Since the ultrasound was for girl related things I knew it was best not to pee until I found out if they needed a full bladder.
Quirks
2.11.2009 - 4 comments
My husband mentions in his little diddy under the "about me" section that at night I lay there with Codi while he cries. I had to laugh because I realize that makes me sounds like someone who lets their kid "cry it out." I actually tried that twice and massively failed, both attempts ending in me pulling him out of the crib and cramming my boob in his mouth while letting him sleep in my bed. Now that he is sleeping on his own he wakes up one or two times a night and he usually starts crying. My instinct is of course to pick him up. His instinct is to arch his back hick his legs and flail his arms like a wild flying monkey and REFUSE to let me touch him. This does not only occur at night, it occurs any time he cries now. Unlike Brandon who wanted to be held in the midst of a fit, Codi would rather lay on the floor kick, scream and throw one of those fits you see on Super Nanny. If he could talk I'm pretty sure he would say "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE."
Note to self
2.10.2009 - 1 comment
If you are not supposed to rub your eyes with jalapeno on your finger, it is probably a bad idea to pick your nose too!
I HAVE FEED!!!
2.10.2009 - 2 comments
TO UPDATE MY NEW BLOG TO YOUR FEED READER PLEASE ADD
Drives me nuts
2.10.2009 - 5 comments
I always have a laugh when people comment on my parenting. Not my actual parenting methods per say, but you know those under their breath comments in the store, or in passing. That drives me nuts. The best example is how often people point out that Codi isn't wearing socks. It comes in many forms:
First post on my shiny new blog
2.10.2009 - 5 comments
Welcome to the new page. It is still under construction but I decided it was finally time to reveal it to y'all. Check it all out. Make sure you stop by the about me page and read the amazing little diddy Katie wrote about me. Yes the font will be fixed by today!
MY FIRST GIVEAWAY
2.9.2009 - 14 comments
Mayday
2.5.2009 - 1 comment
Mayday Mayday BROWNIE DOWN
Update
2.5.2009 - 1 comment
And then God himself blessed me with his magic stick
2.4.2009 - 1 comment
Last night I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. I was having a sad day and all I wanted was some brownies. I was telling everyone and there mom about this and finally decided to make some. I marched in my kitchen grabbed what I needed and then promptly began pouting as I realized I had neither vegetable oil or applesauce. So I walked over to my computer and whined to everyone about it. That's when Ginger pops on yahoo with this little link:
Snot
2.4.2009 - 1 comment
I brought Codi into bed with me around 5am this morning. He snuggled up on my arm and started snoring in my ear. Around 7 I looked over at him because I love to watch him sleep.
VS
2.3.2009 - 1 comment
Do you ever sit there at your desk and stare at your yogurt wishing it was a big fat brick of chocolate?
So how are things going
2.2.2009 - 1 comment
First off all, Wednesday will be two weeks on my medicine. I will also up my dose to a full dose that day. Here are my observations on the drug so far.
Dad at Superbowl
2.2.2009 - 1 comment
We had a very good superbowl party...details to come!
When dad cooks dinner
1.31.2009 - 2 comments
The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth
1.28.2009 - 1 comment
What my kid was doing while I was busy taking pictures of Katie's kid
1.27.2009 - 1 comment
The weekend Shannon went all out
1.27.2009 - 0 comments
I'm supposed to be home doing dishes right now, but my mom wants me to write about my weekend so fine, here....I'll fuss with dishes later.
Aren't they beautiful
1.26.2009 - 1 comment
Observations and other nonsense
1.26.2009 - 0 comments
Brandons teacher commented on how he always smells so nice in the morning and how his teeth are always brushed and his clothes are always clean. Umm. Aren't all kids? Do people really take their kids to school in dirty clothes and unclean? Eww.
Note to self
1.26.2009 - 0 comments
ITS BAAAAACK
1.24.2009 - 0 comments
I just turned on Noggin to hear the Boinga song. Noooooo please tell me this isn't back. If you want to hear the Boinga song and entertain your baby for hours go to you tube and type in BOINGA. You will thank me later when you are Boingaing in your sleep!
What would I eat
1.24.2009 - 0 comments
Breakfast: One perfect piece of toast. One toasted NYC everything bagel with extra lots of cream cheese. A Venti Raspberry vanilla latte from Peet's WITH ALL THE FAT! Biscuits and gravy (no sausage) and Five scones from Bread and Ink in Oregon. Clementine oranges. One more bagel. My breakfast potatoes.
What would you do
1.22.2009 - 0 comments
Tomorrow morning when you wake up you will discover that the FDA has discovered a new way of eating. All of the world will survive on nothing but pills. We will gain all nutrition from that. You have. You have one day left of eating real normal food. What do you pick?
P.S.
1.21.2009 - 0 comments
Last night was Brandon's turn to take home Curious the Crocodile, which is their pet mascot in class. He had rules, Curious could not take a bath, because if he got wet he would "grow bigger then your house and get mean," and he could not eat people food. We were given a binder that was Curious' journal and told to fill it out with what we did. We took tons of pictures of Curious, glued them on all cute wrote some funny stuff and then Brandon wrote his name and drew some pictures. Two of the photos were of Curious helping bake cookies. I figured, since he helped make them we should take them to school today. When Rob picked up Brandon the teacher told him that she was thrilled with our page in the book. That it was exactly what she hoped parents would do (other pages just had some scribbles and a short entry that wasn't very exciting but we had pictures and cookies.) She then proceeded to tell Rob that in her opinion we were parents of the year for how involved we were and for bringing the cookies as an interaction for Brandons share time with Curious.
Wam Bam Thank you Ma'am
1.21.2009 - 0 comments
I went to my annual girl appointment today. I'm going to warn you in advance this post is going to get a little..."ooogy" if you're a boy.
I may be a sucker but I'm a sucker for follows through
1.20.2009 - 0 comments
My kid suckered me into baking cookies tonight by challenging whether or not I even knew how to cook em!
Too fucking smart
1.20.2009 - 0 comments
Brandon: mom you don't know how to make cookies do you
Hope
1.20.2009 - 0 comments
Today is a good day. I have hope!
Update
1.18.2009 - 0 comments
Slow churn Thin Mint ice cream and wine don't taste good together!
Try something different today
1.18.2009 - 0 comments
I had plans for today. Switch around the boys rooms, clean the house and go to the park. It all happened even if Codi and I didn't get to go to the park. As you can see, Codi is trying out his new sleeping digs. We will see how this works.
Brown butter Gnocchi with spinach and pine nuts
1.15.2009 - 0 comments
One of those days
1.15.2009 - 0 comments
I just spent a good 3 minutes in the kitchen at work freaking out because I couldn't remember if my lunch took a minute and a half to microwave or if it was 90 seconds. Yes. It is that kind of day.
Today
1.14.2009 - 0 comments
Monday we had Codi's evaluation for the whole REFUSING TO EAT INCIDENT. I had prepared myself for the worst. Surely there would be something wrong with my kid. Which, I suppose would be good because then he would be approved for treatment. When we arrived I realized that I did not have my insurance card, which means some doctors office somewhere does. I find that highly irritating because they clearly know they have it and haven't mailed it back. Jerks. I called Rob and had him give me all of the info off his card and filled out the other 100 papers.
Come out come out wherever you are
1.12.2009 - 0 comments
It is delurking day! Yay. So stop by, leave me a comment let me know you are here and I'll come by and repay the favor!
Idiot proof
1.9.2009 - 0 comments
We're having chicken for dinner
1.9.2009 - 0 comments
Looking for a few good girl scouts
1.8.2009 - comments
So I'm still here. I'm done dying. I'm just, ummm, kinda flopping around like a fish out of water but definitely not dying. I went to the doctor finally for some drugs and it went like this.
Budget friendly cooking
1.6.2009 - 0 comments
I posted some great tips for budget friendly cooking along with a recipe over on the tasty blog. Check it out. Last nights stuffed shells recipe was part of this weeks meals that make more then one! Here is the link.
To clarify for Angie
1.5.2009 - 2 comments
Angie and I were chatting tonight and I feel the need to clarify. I don't swallow the shit I cough up simply because I'm to much of a lady to hock a loogie I REALLY REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW. I physically can not do it. Instead I make a weird gagging choking noise and then swallow the junk in defeat. I assume, it is because I was too much of a lady back in the day to figure it out. Either way it drives me goddamn bonkers!
Hungry?
1.5.2009 - 2 comments
Still here...still dying
1.4.2009 - 3 comments
I just arrived back from an over night trip to San Francisco. It was supposed to be a two night trip however we left a day late due to the DYING THING! Our plan was to leave yesterday at 8am. So, at 8am I rolled out of bed. At 8:01 am I rolled back into bed and pretended I was not awake. I finally dragged my ass downstairs. I came down and laid down next to Rob on the couch whining. He informed me it was time to get ready. So I marched right upstairs and got back in bed. Rob = not impressed. I laid there while he packed and then after her gave me a look that said, "get your shit together now woman" I got up, snuck into the guest bedroom and got in that bed!
The stroller that is no more
1.1.2009 - 0 comments
Forgive me for my lack of posting. I'm stuck at home sick, with a whining sick husband, a sick toddler and a destructive one year old. With out further ado I present the story of the stroller that is no more.
The blanket
12.31.2008 - comments
Codi's Christmas present from my mom. She made this for him. We went back and forth on themes and finally settled on this one. Make sure you check out the back.
Hello from my death bed (the couch)
12.30.2008 - comments
Am too lazy to locate computer. Am so very sick. The good sick you know where snot drips freely from your nose. So freely that at one point while laying down snot actually dripped in perfect little drops onto my pillow. Which left me wondering if I should change the cover or just be lazy and flip it. Bet you know what I chose. I also have a rocking sexy cough that makes me pee a little if I cough too hard. My throat is so raw that breathing makes me cough.
The story of the pan
12.28.2008 - comments
I've got a gazillion things to tell you about Vegas. But until I rest more and upload photos you get nothing but the story of the pan.
Merry Christmas
12.25.2008 - comments
Can you hear me now
12.23.2008 - comments
Airport
12.23.2008 - comments
Regulators
12.20.2008 - comments
Okay
Not so toe touch
She landed it
Almost
THIS CONCLUDES OUR LESSON IN OLD LADIES WHO SHOULD NOT BE ATTEMPTING CHEERLEADING JUMPS
(NOT PICTURED, THE PHOTO WHERE GINGER SNAPPED THE PICTURE AT THE EXACT TIME THAT BOTH OF MY BOOBS FLOPPED ALL THE WAY OUT OF MY SHIRT AND BOUNCED UP TOWARD MY EYEBALLS...I PUT ON A JACKET AFTER THAT)
School picture and the piano man
12.18.2008 - comments
Seriously after Christmas, once everyone has seen the card and the pictures I'm going to post the outtakes on here because they are funny shit and none of them, not even the good ones look like the kid above. This picture man, whoever he is, IS A GENIUS!
Brandon, like his mom has created his own language. He often comes up with words that he uses normally like they are just...regular old words. He likes to say, "juke." What is a juke? Beats me. He does it whe he is poking you, or tickling you or something. He also loves to say Shawka while making the hang loose sign. Papa taught him that. So, now when he is in trouble I'll say, Brandon why did you do that? He looks at me, thinks for a second and says "shawka" and runs. He has a favorite though. Bawka. Pronounced like Bawk uh. He often says you are a silly bawka. Today he told me I was a silly bawka. Finally I said Brandon what on earth is a Bawka? His reply?
"A bawka is a knucklehead mom and you a bawka."
Thanks kid!
And finally, the piano man!
I believe we have the next Billy Joel on our hands
Possibly Pigtails
12.17.2008 - comments
Also seriously who gave me photobooth. I swear I will stop taking pictures of myself and posting them here!
I'm not supposed to blog about it
12.16.2008 - 0 comments
This is one of the Christmas pictures that didn't make the card. We have an even better pic together that I will show you when our cards come in!
boy the first vs. boy the second
2.11.2008 - 10 comments
The Boys
2.9.2008 - comments
Bye, I have more important things to do
2.9.2008 - comments
Just Another Day at Work
2.8.2008 - comments
Current Affairs
2.8.2008 - comments
1000 and a half
2.6.2008 - comments
#1000
2.6.2008 - comments
#999
2.5.2008 - comments
#998
2.4.2008 - comments
Let me see the Tootsie Roll aka losing whatever Rad factor I had left
2.1.2008 - comments
Read this whole thing with a snobby British accent
1.30.2008 - comments
Lunch Break Treats
1.29.2008 - comments
Curious
1.28.2008 - comments
Checking In
1.28.2008 - comments
BIG CHANGES ARE COMING
1.26.2008 - comments
Lightening Up
1.25.2008 - comments
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