Before you diss my pictures please know, I was on my husbands camera, and even if it turned out excellent doesn't mean it turned out pretty!

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Good marketing
3.12.2010 - 2 comments

Local burger joints new advertisement ploy to get customers.

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Because God is punishing me
3.10.2010 - 4 comments

So I decided not to go to the gym tonight.  Rob wasn't going to but his friends at work made him feel guilty.  While I was here alone holding down the fort with the two shit heads God paid me back ten fold for not going to the gym.  

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Post-It Note Tuesday
3.9.2010 - 2 comments

I stole this from Patty

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In case you are participating in Lent
3.9.2010 - 0 comments

 

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Quick chicken (or veggie) Pot Pie
3.8.2010 - 0 comments

 

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Here I go again on my own
3.8.2010 - 3 comments

Friday on the way to the gym with Rob I told him how I had been Googling (is this even a fucking word?) all of my meds and that I found out that Lithium has a few side effects I don’t like I always knew it was a drug that could cause weight gain, I just didn’t know why. Turns out, for some reason it gives you increase appetite and thirst. I laughed out loud because the day before I was telling my mom I am NEVER full. At least now I understood. I had been telling my friends the hunger was like pregnancy. FEED ME OR DIE PEOPLE. Aside from that, it had the obvious side effect of being kind of sedating. So add 20lbs of food and a new habit of putting the treadmill down to 3.0 instead of 5.0 or 4.0 or even 3.5 and you’ve got FAT ASS! I didn’t weigh myself for almost a month. I wanted to see what would happen. Would I lose more weight if I wasn’t stressing on numbers? Well it was impossible to tell because the day I stopped weighing in was the day I increased my meds. I told Rob I felt like I was at a loss here, was losing weight so important that I would possibly go off my meds? Was gaining weight so upsetting that it was counteracting the good my meds were doing?

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Look what Codi did
3.7.2010 - 2 comments

"Mom look what Codi did"

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Archives
3.4.2010 - 3 comments

Sometimes I scroll through my archives lookin for a picture when I come upon a post from my old blog that still makes me giggle.  I found one of those posts and I've decided to share it with you.  The setting is Christmas 2008 Shannon very drunk on peppermint schnopps and hot cocoa (snugglers) when my iPod started playing some groovy high school beats.  Next thing you know my drunk ass was doing cheerleading jumps in my living room. Notice in the first edition of this post that I did not mention the fact that my hot cocoa all had about a half a cup of liquor in it...guess I left that out huh? So, I present to you, from my archives, REGULATORS!

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Dear Codi
3.2.2010 - 8 comments

THIS!   IS!   NOT!   WHAT!   WE!   DO!   WITH!   SCISSORS!

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Why Steve Jobs has officially been added to my list of five
2.28.2010 - 5 comments

**If you don't know who Steve Jobs is, your a fucktard (thank you Jen Lancaster for a new favorite word), so here, learn about my new #4 Steve Jobs.

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You've been warned Reno (and yeah, I just admitted that thing about my thighs)
2.26.2010 - 5 comments

 I'm done with winter Reno. Look.  10 Days ago I was parading around in a tank top and flip flops.  The next morning fucking snow boots, long pants and jackets.  I'm not impressed Reno.  I am ready to spend the summer days in my little room with the windows open letting in the fresh air and warmth.  I DO NOT enjoy having to leap through puddles and snow banks to get into my room.  The middle of this week things were a little better.  I didn't need seventeen layers including my Eskimo undies just to go outside.  And then this!

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Send me your recipes
2.25.2010 - 4 comments

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Overheard tonight at the gym
2.24.2010 - 4 comments

At our gym we have two kinds of treadmill.  The normal kind that you get on and go and then another kind that has these little foot pads on the side of them.  When you get on, you tell it the time you want to be on and then it asks you to step on the pads and it puts your weight into the machine so it can calculate your calories.  So I'm chugging along on the treadmill reading my book when two women get on the machines next to me.  And then I hear:

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Where did you get that dish
2.24.2010 - 0 comments

I have gotten a few questions regarding the baking dish I posted below.  It is by BIA Bakeware and it is part of their wavy collection.

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Mexican Lasagna
2.23.2010 - 5 comments

Head over here to see the receipe

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LIttle pink book
2.21.2010 - 12 comments

My Google Reader and I are having a bit of a beef.  Sometimes it tells me links aren't valid, sometimes it doesn't update, and sometimes it is too full of the same ole shit.  So.  I would like for all of you to send me the link to your blog.  If you think I read you, know I read you, or want me to read you, leave it here.  It is time to update my reader.  I want to get rid of all those blogs who never update, or the ones who are gone.  Make sure they are right too.  I had someone leave me a link to their website the other day to get an award and it said not valid.  I always click out of the reader, so if you have ads I will see them.  Okay, that's all.  Ready, set GO, leave me those blog links!

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I might not get to spend a lot of time in there, but I can still make a mess
2.21.2010 - 6 comments

(Forgive the photo quality I was using my husbands point and shoot and apparently I have totally forgotten how to work those little things)

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A whole two hours
2.21.2010 - 2 comments

 I had big plans for this weekend.  I was going to clean a little house and then spend the rest of the day in my little room sewing and crafting and shit.  I had a few people request my little sandwich lunchmabobs and I was excited to get some new fabric and get started.  Maybe if I make some, and then don't suck too bad I could put some on Etsy and make a couple bucks.  I did the cleaning and then headed to the fabric store which...bad idea.  i might as well have been at a shoe and jean store when I was a size 2 little hottie in high school.  I lapped the store about 89 times before leaving an hour and forty minutes later.  Finally I made it home, slammed down some dinner and headed out.  About an hour into it I started getting texts that Codi wanted me.  Finally after about two hours I gave up and had to come in.  I told myself it was okay because I had all of Sunday (today).  Not so much.  Why?

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The story of a project
2.17.2010 - 12 comments

Brandon has developed a certain love for cheeseburgers lately.  Specifically cheeseburgers ketchup only, with bacon on the side.  About two weeks ago I pick him up from school and he says, and I quote,

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It is about fucking time Walmart
2.16.2010 - 4 comments

For the last year I've been mad at Walmart.  Look, I know they are in the business to make money, and I understand their whole bigger is better, bulk, giant, buy more, spend money woohoo outlook.  But what really really REALLY gets on my nerves is is their super monster fucking shopping carts.  First of all, when I'm doing a normal shopping trip I somehow find myself feeling like I have to fill it up.  The time I have an actual problem is when I just need to run in for a few things.  I obviously can't carry it all, but getting a giant brontosaurus sized shopping cart is just too much.  WHY can't they just have a normal little hand basket like the rest of the stores.

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You are all traitors
2.13.2010 - 5 comments

Why on earth did no one tell me about the movie "The Time Travelers wife?"  I'm only twenty minutes into it and I'm already all choked up.  Why why why did no one warn me.  I thought this was going to be some movie about old people or something but NOOOOOO it's a fucking love story that makes me want to cry every ten seconds.  Next year.  Please, from now on I'm going to need a warning when this kind of shit comes on demand.  Kthx! 

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Serious
2.13.2010 - 5 comments

The next time I try to go to the hair stylist I need you to come with me okay bloggy buddies!  That means Patty you need to be ready to hop a flight on a moments notice when I need a quick trim, or Mathers  you better be prepared for a long drive to hold my hand there.

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Quiz part two (hint: there is a $10.00 Starbucks card waiting for the winner)
2.8.2010 - 6 comments

 1. I am making a soy nut butter and jelly sammich, what flavor jelly do I use?

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A few of my favorite Superbowl Commercials
2.8.2010 - 1 comment

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And suddenly I seem so very very normal
2.4.2010 - 13 comments

 My cousin sent me this link from our local paper today.

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Is this bad parenting?
2.4.2010 - 3 comments

Codi is sick.  He's had a fever between 101 ad 103.7 for the last three days now.  At first he wouldn't eat but my mom and I got creative.  In the last 24 hours Codi has eaten:

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2.1.2010 - 1 comment

Have you ever found a song so perfect for yourself or someone that you can’t help but feel like it was created just for you?

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In which you leave here more annoyed then you came
1.31.2010 - 5 comments

For the last four days my husband and I have been going round and round with songs stuck in our head.  The other night I intentionally started singing one because I just knew it would get to him.  I was right, the next morning he woke up so pissed off because he had been singing it all night. 

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You are very lucky ice cream people
1.30.2010 - 4 comments

 

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Did that really just happen? Can people actually be nice?
1.27.2010 - 5 comments

Last week I ordered Brandon a cute new lunch box.  I was tired of his metal one.  It was fine when he was little but now that he is older and I need to cram a lot more stuff into it I knew a taller more flexible one was in order.  I've been eyeing this Mackenzie Retro lunch box for months now and I kept talking myself out of buying it.  

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Why yes I am a fucking idiot
1.26.2010 - 10 comments

 Lets do a science project mkay.

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The story of a tattoo
1.24.2010 - 4 comments

Okay.  I will tell you this story if you PROMISE NOT TO LAUGH AT ME.  Capeesh.

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Chicken and mushroom pockets
1.23.2010 - 0 comments

 

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New ink
1.23.2010 - 4 comments

 

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I thought I was past all this hormonal shit
1.22.2010 - 3 comments

**News Flash** 

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An open letter to the assholes in the ice cream industry
1.17.2010 - 7 comments

Every year around this time you ice cream guys have a moment of genius and release the line of GIRL SCOUT COOKIE ICE CREAMS.  Of course this includes the Thin Mint ice cream.  Other wise known as the closest thing to a food orgasm that mankind knows.  My favorite part about it all is that you were awesome enough to make it in slow churn too.

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It's delurking week
1.15.2010 - 23 comments

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My mom asked me to update you all on the boys
1.12.2010 - 7 comments

And this about sums up how they are doing

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Thorn in my side
1.10.2010 - 3 comments

Or rather a rock in my shoe.  Have you ever been walking and felt a rock in your shoe?  Twice in the last seven days this has happened to me and TWICE I couldn't find the fucking rock.  Last week I had a rock in my gym shoe.  About the size of a half grain of rice.  I got on the treadmill hoping I would be able to ignore the rock.  I made it through the walk but when it was time to lift weights the rock was driving me nuts.  I sat down on a weight bench and took off my shoe.  I shook and shook and shook my shoe and nothing came out.  At that point I thought maybe there was no rock, my there was a thread or something out of place in my shoe.  I put it back on, took one step and there was the goddamn fucking rock.  So, I sat back down took off my shoe and shook and shook again.  This time I whacked the bottom of my shoe hoping maybe the rock was stuck and it would loosen.  Again no fucking rock.  I gave up and for three days that rock bothered me and then one day IT WAS JUST GONE! 

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Share with me your very odd fears
1.9.2010 - 23 comments

Last night making dinner I was shredding cheese and like always I caught my finger nail in it.  I told my husband and he replied, "yeah I'm afraid of those things." I kind of played it off like that was totally normal but this morning while I was loading the dishwasher I found myself laughing pretty loudly at the absurdity of being afraid of a cheese grater.  Now OBVIOUSLY I can't talk because I'm afraid of pretty much everything (water glasses, grass etc), but that doesn't mean I can't laugh at his ass. 

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It's been a while since I did this post
1.8.2010 - 1 comment

Some people like to do the game where they type in their name plus NEEDS in a google search engine and see what pops up, then post it. 

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Suddenly my Jell-o arms don't seem so bad
1.6.2010 - 6 comments

My cousin just sent me this....and suddenly my body seems like a super model

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Your body is a wonder land...mine is more like a produce isle **UPDATED**
1.4.2010 - 12 comments

 

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You guys are going to be SO mad at me
12.29.2009 - 18 comments

First of all I want to say thank you for all of the concerned comments and e-mails.  I had no idea I was loved this much.  I do need to tell you more though before Jiff has a fucking coronary and Laine punches me in the eye.  I can't tell you how many worried texts and e-mails I got from people thinking Rob and I were getting divorced because of my previous post.  By the way my husband says SHAME ON YOU for thinking we would break up, and that we would do it at Christmas.  But whooo boy I sure know not to leave you guys hanging like that again huh, you all think the worst...Sorry guys.

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Bravery
12.27.2009 - 12 comments

I might be the only one brave enough to rock a New Moon hat on the way to the grocery store at 10am.

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And then it just stopped
12.21.2009 - 7 comments

My mom took my car to Carson twice last week and my shiny white car came back  black.  I tolerated it for a few days but this morning I was done.  I needed it washed.  I went through one of those touchless washes for a $5.00 wash.  I pulled in and the little thingie started shooting the water and soap all over my car.  It went towards the back of my car and then....it just stopped.  I sat there for a minute thinking maybe there was a small power glitch or something and that maybe it would come back.  NOPE.  So I'm sitting here, my windows covered in soap wondering what the hell just happeend.  I pulled out, drove around and found an attendent.  He told me that somehow I had put my car in park about an inch too far from the sensor so after it went back the first time it just up and decided my car was gone and stopped.  WHAT THE SHIT!  He ended up getting me a new wash but seriously how does a fucking car wash thing just stop?  I felt like such a tool just sitting there waiting, especially since I found out that he had known and was just watching me sit there and waiting to see how long it would take for me to figure out what happened.  Awesome.

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You should all feel very sorry for me
12.18.2009 - 5 comments

Breaking News

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Finally someone else as demented as me
12.14.2009 - 10 comments

From the very first time I read the Twilight saga I have only  had one question.  Just ONE.  I've asked my friends who thought I was over thinking it, I asked my husband who didn't want to hear it, I pretty much asked everyone and they all thought I was wacko.  But then the other day, reading Kat's blog I found another person as demented as me. 

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It can't really be Christmas yet
12.13.2009 - 3 comments

I am failing at Christmas this year.  Want proof?

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I broke three nails for this
12.12.2009 - 3 comments

Rob and I don't eat out often.  For a few reasons; 1. We don't like to spend the money, 2. we are working out and trying to eat healthy and 3. we don't like to spend the money.  Tonight after the gym though we were both tired and neither of us felt like making dinner. We hemmed and hawwed about dinner and decided to go home and have egg sandwiches.  However when we got home I was reminded that we had no mayo in the house.  There went my delicious sandwich.  I had been craving Port of Subs and Wing Stop sounded good to Rob so we decided to each take a little money from our personal fun accounts and get dinner.  I left to grab the food and as I was driving I remembered Rob saying he had no ice cream last night.  Since the wing place and the sandwich place were in the same center as Smiths I figured why not, what a nice surprise for him.  There was still time left until his wings were ready so I meandered over there and parked.  I opened my door, grabbed my wallet and stepped out only to IMMEDIATELY fall on my ass in the parking lot.  Yes.  I slipped, feet right out from under me in slow motion and landing on my ass IN MUD.  My wallet flew into more mud and my keys flew under the car.  So, I had to grab my wallet, roll over, reach under my car to grab my keys, pick up the wallet that I dropped again and then stand up while trying to maintain my dignity.  I looked around and luckily no one had seen.  Then I realized I had broken three nails.  The frustrating part of that is they were long so they broke all jagged and weird.  The more frustrating part is that I can NOT handle my nails like this I must clip them.  Since I obviously didn't have any nail clippers in my workout pants I found myself fidgeting with my fingers.  I kept poking them to feel the weird break, putting them in my mouth wishing I knew how to chew nails, and then fidgeting some more.

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Fact
12.9.2009 - 0 comments

It is very hard to answer your phone at work with a beenie on.

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And now I am a twelve year old
12.7.2009 - 7 comments

When Rob's parents were here for Brandons birthday they bought us a Wii to replace the one that was stolen at our old house.  We only had one game this time, the sport one.  Rob saw a new Mario game and my eyes lit up.  I had to have that game.  This weekend my mom went to Winnemucca to help take kids who can't afford a Christmas shopping at Walmart.  As a present she brought me back the Mario game. 

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Musical Mashup
12.4.2009 - 0 comments

You know.  Most of the time when you get in someones car and they plug in their iPod it is a little predictable.  It's obvious whose iPod will be full of rap and R&B, who will be dedicated to only country, and whose iPod will be full of nothing but teeny bopper club shit.

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Oblivious
12.3.2009 - 4 comments

A few weeks back my husband said something that really struck a cord with me. I asked him if he ever thought about what would happen if we broke up. He said no. I was stunned. I asked again, "well obviously when we fight it has to have crossed your mind right, I mean you have never thought about what would happen with the kids, the house etc." And he said no. Summarizing he said that he married me because he knew I was the one he wanted to be with forever. I know a few people reading this blog will find me naive but, I love knowing he feels that way. It seems like it is never the man who feels that. He said even when we fight it's never crossed his mind to leave. Somehow in his head he just knows we are meant to be together.

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At least I wasn't the only one who fucked up on Thanksgiving
12.2.2009 - 2 comments

This year my mom decided she was going to bake pumpkin pies.  I was pretty shocked because A: she doesn't really cook (she has been lately), and B: the extent of her baking is cookies.  Wait, that isn't true, she does make some very...ummm, adult looking gingerbread cookies.

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Dear husband, Next time rethink the free toilet paper
11.26.2009 - 4 comments

About a month ago my husband texts me saying that his work is getting rid of a big box of toilet paper.

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What my son is thankful for IN ORDER!
11.25.2009 - 5 comments

Yesterday in class Brandon's teacher had them write what they were thankful for.  I was sitting there with him and here is what he came up with, and in the order he came up with them.

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Chicken Tortilla Casserole
11.24.2009 - 4 comments

This is what we had for dinner...low fat and low cal (unless you cook it like me)

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Am I the only one who finds this so so so so so wrong?
11.23.2009 - 3 comments

Am I the only one who notices something so very wrong with this?

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Thank You
11.22.2009 - 6 comments

When Ginger and I were little my mom got us hooked on the vianetta ice cream

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HERO MAKER
11.21.2009 - 4 comments

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About how I feel the morning after the midnight showing of New Moon
11.20.2009 - 1 comment

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Free
11.20.2009 - 0 comments

Anyone in the Reno, Sparks, Carson area might want to pass on this link

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Maybe I shouldn't mention this
11.18.2009 - 2 comments

Have you ever picked a booger so big you were worried you might have pulled out your nose ring?

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Oy Vey
11.18.2009 - 4 comments

I have to shave my legs before I wash them

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Letters from the crypt
11.16.2009 - 7 comments

Dear self,

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My special little boys
11.13.2009 - 2 comments

So...one of them likes fairy wings and the other one loves lip gloss. Aren't my boys special?

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Note to Codi
11.12.2009 - 3 comments

Please stop pushing on my boobs and then saying HONK.

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It is like reliving pregnancy
11.12.2009 - 5 comments

A few weeks ago my husband sends me this article from Yahoo Health. It basically trashed soda, carbonation and sweeteners. He subtly hinted that I shouldn't have carbonated drinks anymore.  Then when I said how hard it was he would say, "it's up to you if you want it have it," (read: If you do you are a massive fail who is trying to kill themself slowly and if you stay fat it's your fault so don't come crying to me.) Then he went from subtle to basically putting me on restriction from then until I reached my goal weight, hoping by then I won't want it. To make this point he found every carbonated off limits drink in our house and poured it right down the drain in front of me. ASSHOLE. Obviously to get back at him I put the kibosh on him eating any place with a drive through. (Which he promptly found a way around the very next day and still managed to get a greasy ass burrito in the morning. Basically I was left being allowed to drink water, tea, juice and coffee. I hate juice so that was out, and coffee makes me sick now, so, I am left with WATER AND TEA! I do drink milk but only in the form of chocolate milk and only if I'm sick or sometimes at dinner so that doesn't count.

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It's like I'm living my life in a Miley Cyrus song
11.8.2009 - 6 comments

For the last week and a half I've been searching for a song.  I was driving down the road one day when this song came on.  At first I was like, "this song sucks."  But then the longer I listened the more I started bopping and moving and before I knew it the music was blasting and I was full out club dancing in my car.  The only thing I could remember from the song was that at some point it said "Pitbull."

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I might never eat again
11.4.2009 - 13 comments

A few months ago Rob and I were watching Diners Drive Ins and Dives and Guy went to some place that had these amazing make your own s'mores.  Later in that episode he went to an ice cream place.  I commented to Rob that I could have an entire weekend surrounded by nothing but food.  While we were watching Rob was texting the whole time and I was getting really pissed off.  I kept asking who he was texting that was so important he couldn't watch TV with me.  He shot me a dirty look and kept texting.

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Make your best guess
10.30.2009 - 7 comments

Have I told you yet that my husband is taking me on a secret birthday trip?  Well he is.  This is all I know so far;
We are going to San Francisco.

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Oh no she didn't
10.29.2009 - 7 comments

My smart ass cousin Lisa thought it would be funny to put this in my bag of birthday presents.

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Its like my birthday has come early
10.28.2009 - 1 comment

Today's CVS savings

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At least I am a super amazing discount shopper right
10.27.2009 - 0 comments

So. About the last gym visit. I met with the trainer for my first actual training session. I kind of expected to go over the equipment and get a simple routine. I showed up and immediately we began going over strength exercises. I was taking my time listening and learning what he said. He had me try each thing a few times. Next thing I know he says, “come on, hurry up we’ve got a lot to learn here.” Nine exercises later he tells me, “Okay I’m going to time you, I want to see how fast you can do fifteen reps of all of the things I showed you, one after another GO”

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Things that totally get under my skin
10.22.2009 - 14 comments

First! You all fail.  You were just supposed to know better then to say ketchup on meatloaf.  We are blogger friends I thought we had some kind of telekinetic bond where you could just read my mind.  The reason for the question.  Every time I make meatloaf it just makes sense to me that you would put gravy on it.  To my husband it makes sense to put ketchup on it.  Which, okay if you want your meatloaf to taste like a hamburger FINE.  My problem isn't with the ketchup it is with the 500 cups of ketchup he douses it in.  After going back and fourth for a while he told me to ask you.  AND YOU ALL TOOK HIS SIDE YOU BIG JERKS.  You didn't just say ketchup, but there were tons of you saying SLATHERED, DRENCHED, SOAKED.  Rubbish!  So, now my husband is walking around all puffed up being like "hahahah I told you so, even your blogger buddies can't protect you."  And I'm all "Watch it buddy I will so punch you in your nose."

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Please settle the dispute between the hubs and I
10.19.2009 - 21 comments

You are eating a big plate of meatloaf, what do you put on top of it?

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Is she still talking about the gym?
10.16.2009 - 8 comments

Turns out the other day wasn't my assessment.  It was an orientation, my official assessment is Monday.  My husband had his today and was sure to tell me what it included.  First, I will need to do push ups until my arms give up, okay mark me down for two of those bad boys.  Then I need to do sit ups until I can't anymore.  I'll tell him I will sit up if he puts a donut in front of me.  Of course they are going to pinch all of my skin which just sounds awesome right?

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Guilty as charged
10.13.2009 - 17 comments

I am so guilty. I am…AN UNSHOPPER! Dun dun dun. Do you do this? You know what I mean. You get to the store, try really hard to stick to your list but of course a few treats or other things you “need” slip in the cart. Then, by the end of the trip you find yourself digging around in your cart pulling stuff out you can’t afford. I am notorious for this. I once with shopping to Sams Club with some friends for my husbands birthday party . I picked up a big bag of cups, then 15 feet away I found a better deal on cups so I put them in my cart, pulled the other bag out and stuffed it in the spot I was. One of the people I was with gave me a look of total and utter disgust. She picked up the cups and ran back placing them exactly where they belonged, neatly stacked with the rest. The remainder of the trip was spent with me putting stuff in the cart, going two isles over and finding something that was a better price, or tastier, and removing what was in my cart only to have this girl pick it up, run five isles over and put it right back in it’s spot.

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Letters from the gym
10.7.2009 - 12 comments

Dear parking garage.  I drive a big huge SUV which I happen to love.  Do you think it would possible to make your parking spots and fucking smaller so I have to drive all the way to the top of the garage until I find an actual space that doesn't look like it was made for a bicycle.  Do you know what kind of anxiety I get when I try and pull into a parking spot and worry that I'm going take out someone's entire car?

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WORK SHIT
10.6.2009 - 3 comments

Dear Shannon,

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Winner winner chicken dinner
10.6.2009 - 3 comments

The winner of the BBQ sauce is Rene.

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The ultimate form of not sharing
10.5.2009 - 6 comments

Codi wasn't letting Brandon have his game for nuthin

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Nerdasses
10.4.2009 - 2 comments

Not sure I ever showed you guys pics of my boys totally geeking out

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I'm going to piss my pants soon
10.3.2009 - 13 comments

My husband went out of town yesterday, my parents took the kids so I could have a whole day to myself.  I had no car because Rob took mine and my mom had his so she could drive around the kids.  Somehow I convinced my Ginger to take me to the gym and work out with me.  We left around 3:30 and before I knew it after working out, swimming, dicking around in the hot tub and eating dinner it was after 7 when I got home.  This means it WAS DARK.  Some of you might know I have an eensy little phobia of the dark.  It got worse.  I walked in and realized I hadn't alarmed the house.  I wasn't expecting to be gone so long so I didn't even think about it.  However, coming home, in the dark to an unarmed house WAS NOT OKAY.  I immediately decided someone was in the house.  I turned on the living room and kitchen lights and that was as far as I went.  I wouldn't go in my husbands room because it was dark and a killer could be there.  I couldn't go to the bathroom there because it was near his room.  I couldn't lock the garage because it was near there.  I didn't want to go upstairs because it was dark and the killer could be in the boys shower, or my room, or my bathroom, or closet or the boys rooms.  So I froze on the couch and told Rob it was good I was home alone so they boys didn't get killed.  

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Country Bob's All Purpose Sauce
10.2.2009 - 8 comments

A while back ago I was contacted by Country Bobs asking if I would review their sauce.  I agreed and I was sent two bottles, one to try and one to give away.  

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Paying it forward
9.29.2009 - 14 comments

Last week I found out I won a ring from Billie of Bugs and Snails. It arrived in the mail today in the cutest box ever.

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Dear Codi, I am so showing this to your future girlfriends
9.29.2009 - 4 comments

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Peanut Alert
9.28.2009 - 2 comments

For any of you who have peanut allergies or have kids with peanut allergies I thought I would post this.

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Challenge
9.27.2009 - 5 comments

I posted a couple days ago about wanting Country Apple lotion from Bath and Body works because it had been discontinued here.  Mandy commented telling me IT NEVER WENT AWAY IN HER TOWN!!!!!!!!

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My grown up birthday list
9.25.2009 - 6 comments

My birthday is coming up.  And even though my husband and mom are the only ones who read this, that would buy me something, you guys get to read it too, so you can get a look inside my heart.

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I can't make any changes
9.24.2009 - 8 comments

Since I was little I have loved Lynyrd Skynyrd. Back before they became all popular again I was doing reports in middle school about how the one person who was no longer alive that I wanted to meet was Ronnie Van Zant, the original lead singer of the band. My teacher looked at me kind of funny when I turned it in, but not as funny as my very prim and proper friends mom did in 6th grade when I started reciting word for word “Gimmie three steps.” As you can imagine, some parents might find the lyrics to that song a little inappropriate for a 12 year old.

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For sale
9.20.2009 - 6 comments

Two slightly used children who listen and take orders about once a week.  Specialize in making messes and making extra loud noises.  Not very good at sharing unless they are sharing tips on how to drive a person nuts. Will hide food in a moments notice, but don't worry it doesn't start to smell for a few weeks.  Great at mopping the floor with water spilled from their cups.  Juice also makes a great mopping solution and it leaves your floor extra sticky.  Don't worry if you have carpet, banana mashes in nicely so it is barely visible.  Keep lots of coffee handy these two kids are experts at waking up at 1AM and 4AM because they want a drink.  Looking for something to cover that pesky hole in the wall look no further, these boys come equipped with extra boogers and are experts at picking them and wiping them all about.  The little one enjoys taking off his diaper and watering the lawn with pee.  Very useful for telemarketers as lying is one of their strengths.  

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Two boys
9.20.2009 - 2 comments

How to piss Codi off in one easy step

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One bite huh?
9.19.2009 - 5 comments

Me: Brandon put away the cream cheese time for lunch

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Duped
9.18.2009 - 3 comments

Somehow Brandon convinced me to let him stay home from school today and come to work with me.  I just walked in to find him hanging from the pole in my office closet.  Why? Because, and I quote, "we are monkeys mom."  Well, that clears that up.

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Still cookin'
9.17.2009 - 2 comments

Cheap, easy, and quick, sounds like the perfect dinner.

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Funnies
9.17.2009 - 1 comment

I was going to post these on my sidebar but they showed up too small, so here, laugh!

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Hey good looking, whacha been cookin
9.17.2009 - 1 comment

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Turns out adult supervision really is required
9.16.2009 - 3 comments

I am not sure whose idea it was to trust a crazy person with their own medication.  Seriously when they give you prescriptions they should assign you with a person aid to make sure you arent being a complete moron with your meds.

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I know where I will be on our next shopping trip
9.14.2009 - 6 comments

This is the brand new shopping cart at Walmart

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In case you were in need of dessert
9.13.2009 - 1 comment

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Sandwich sushi, jello, and sgetti all the time
9.13.2009 - 1 comment

I used deli sliced cheese so it was extra thin and turkey sliced really thin.  You can't really add much more then meat and cheese or it won't roll up well.  Anyway I'm glad I finally tried this because Brandon really liked it and it was nice having something new to put in his lunch box.

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I should post about anniversary huh
9.11.2009 - 9 comments

I am supposed to do a blog about my 5 year wedding anniversary today.  That is what normal bloggers do.  But hey, I am anything but normal.  I love my husband, he is my world, but post one of those mushy gooshy blogs about love...I'm not sure who would be more embarrassed, me or him.  However, if he were ever to hijack my blog and post something smooshy to me that would under the title of super romantic and less under the title of lame or the title of WOMAN STOP POSTING MUSHY SHIT THAT MAKES ME BLUSH.

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The makings of a chore chart
9.9.2009 - 7 comments

So.  After much thought I figured out Brandon's chore/behavior chart.  The basis is this.  In the morning he has six things to complete and at night he has six things to complete (for now).  When he completes it he gets to turn over the picture to a smile face.  Every smile face will earn him a nickle.  Below that are four smile faces.  These are for attitude.  He will start every day with smile faces.  But if he doesn't share, argues, whines, is mean, yells etc he will get a frown face.  If he has more frowns then smiles at the end of the day he can not watch TV in bed.  He has his own room now so that won't impact Codi.  Brandon loves watching Wubzy after his bath before bed so this will really piss him off to lose that privilege.  The second bottom has a space for six days. Monday through Saturday.  I decided to give him a break on Sunday.  Every day if he has all happy faces (or more smiles then frowns) he earns a SUPER Super man sticker.  On If he has four out of six Superman stickers he gets to take his money to the dollar store.  But, if he has less then that he has to keep his money in his bank and wait until next, hoping he does better.

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Lunch box
9.9.2009 - 5 comments

I was browsing this blog last night.  This lady  makes the coolest little bento box lunches.  I am totally coveting those bento boxes.  I want them sooo bad but A: I can't afford one and B: my family would disown me if I got rid of Brandons Superman lunch box.  Anyway she was making all these mini kabob things for her kids.  Brandon has been getting kind of bored with his lunch so I decided to try it this morning.  He is on a hot dog kick right now (shut up they are 100% turkey meat, no ears and hooves) so I used those, string cheese and cheddar cheese.  I made him cute little kabobs.  I can't wait for him to see them today when he opens his lunch box.  This week when I visit the dollar store with Brandon I am going to look for some small cookie cutters.  I like how she cut mini sandwiches out and put them in the little tupperware, or made mini cheese shapes.  I'm glad I found her website, this is exactly what I needed to start sprucing up Brandons lunch box.

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Putting it out to the blog universe
9.8.2009 - 3 comments

I was talking to my mom today about starting a chore chart for Brandon this week.  I did some googling, and found one I liked.  I found it at this blog.  The basics of her chart (or how I think I read it) are this.  Each day there are basic expected chores, brush teeth, take a bath etc, once it's completed they turn it over and it says done.  I think if the kids complete their basic chores they get a set amount of money.  Then on the right side they have the option to do other chores, like cleaning something, or taking out trash.  Each of those chores has a value on the back.  At the top they have clean up tokens, so if they clean up a toy or mess before they start a new one they get and extra .10 for doing that.  At the end of the day they use their money to buy game tokens.  What the tokens are, are 30 minutes of computer or Wii time.  $1.00 equals 30 minutes.  On the bottom are smiley faces.  On the back are frowny faces.  What I think happens is if they aren't being good or completing chores their smiles get turned to frowns.  3 frowns in one day means they can't cash in their tokens.  They still earn them, they just can't spend them that day.  

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A couple Vegas pics stolen from Patty
9.7.2009 - 3 comments

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No shit, it's the ziti
9.7.2009 - 2 comments

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Letters to you, you and you
9.6.2009 - 10 comments

Dear mom,

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Lets get something straight!
9.3.2009 - 10 comments

When you ask where I am from, and I reply "Reno"

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The pressure
9.2.2009 - 6 comments

Pardon my absence we have had some interesting family stuff going on here, and believe me if I'm given permission I will so totally tell you all about it because...WHOAH.

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I won something
8.30.2009 - 10 comments

I've been reading this blog Tunay Na Mahal for a long time.  I have no idea how Sarah found me but she did and left a comment.  One day I went to her site and I was totally hooked on her story.  She had met her fiance online, they never even met for something like 2 years (sorry if I'm murdering the story Sarah), when they did meet it was for a short time in the Philippines before she had to leave again.  In all the years they have been together they have only met 4 times I believe.  She has an entire time line of their story and it's just nuts.  My favorite part is coming up here in November (or is it October, see I suck) she is going back down there to see him again and GET MARRIED!  Hopefully after that they can get going on the process to move him here so they can live happily ever after.  Anywho, the point is, after all of her trips there she has become hooked on some Phillipeno products.  She decided to do a give away of some of her favorites and

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Shannon vs electronics (hint, I lose)
8.27.2009 - 8 comments

Do you ever feel like electronics are against you? Today all electronics were soooo against me.
First I was trying to print a brochure and Adobe decided to print two pages not one. The I put the first page in and flipped it and Adobe decided to print the first page again so I now had a two sided brochure with the same thing on each side. I attempted to reprint it and Adobe printed one page right side up and one upside down. I wanted to fuck that program up.

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I never knew
8.26.2009 - 6 comments

I never thought I would be the first one of my friends married. I always assumed I would be 30 and still playing the game.

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Things I wonder
8.23.2009 - 3 comments

Exactly how many times in one day can one kid say OW? Today Brandon managed to get a black eye jumping on the trampoline and stub his toe.  Codi fell off a trampoline ladder and shoved a rolled up poster up his lips causing them to bleed.  Aside from those major injuries I have heard ow no less then 30 times from each of them.  What the fuck, do they think they are indestructable or made of rubber?

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Introducing the TRIPLE PLAY
8.22.2009 - 6 comments

For my husbands birthday I got tickets for us to go to a ball game here in Reno.  We had great seats and were having a great time.  Suddenly I hear everyone around me say OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?

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Kidisms....Or Shannon pretending to know shit
8.20.2009 - 12 comments

I learned this one from my doctor.  If your kid will only eat a few things, but they keep asking for macaroni every time change up how you ask.  Kids love choices, so give them a choice.  HOWEVER kids have short memories so 90% of the time they will pick the last thing you say.  If their choices are chicken, macaroni, or hamburger, and you want them to eat chicken, then you ask, would you like macaroni, hamburger or chicken?  By the time they are done pretending to mull it over, chicken is the only one they will remember.  It works, I did it to Brandon for nearly a year before he caught on.

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Us
8.17.2009 - 11 comments

Forgive me if I get a few of the details wrong here it’s been a while. Forgive me if I ramble, some things are just so close to your heart it is hard to make real sense of them.

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Dear son AGAIN
8.17.2009 - 7 comments

When I ask you to please stop bouncing the ball off the table the appropriate response is "okay mom, I'm sorry." The inappropriate response is "Mom you stop saying stop I can do whatever I do!"

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Hello friend
8.16.2009 - 0 comments

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All I got was this stupid picture
8.13.2009 - 5 comments

Did I ever tell you all about the time I met Dooce?  Ginger and I drove a quatrillion miles down to San Francisco (Only it wasn't really San Francisco it was like 40 miles away from there). We had two of her books we wanted signed so off we went.  She read from her book, she was super cute, very pregnant, and way too hawt for someone that pregnant.  Not to mention she is fucking hilarious.  I am now the proud owner of an original signed copy of her book.

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Dear son
8.13.2009 - 9 comments

Dear Brandon,

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Stuff
8.11.2009 - 8 comments

I had to ask my 20 month old permission to go pee tonight.

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Crying uncle
8.8.2009 - 3 comments

Codi is still not eating.  He is starting to lose weight, his bones show, and frankly he looks like some emaciated malnourished kid.  I tried to get him to eat chicken, pasta, noodles, anything that was FOOD. 

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Embarrassing
8.6.2009 - 3 comments

I'm 27.  Nearly 28 and I am so ashamed to admit that totally love the show iCarly.  I think these kids are supposed to be in high school although they look about 12.  It's on Nick Jr.  It is for kids AND I CAN'T STOP WATCHING IT!  Are any of you addicted to those silly little teeny bopper shows your kids watch?

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Walmart hates me
8.5.2009 - 8 comments

You might remember the first time I discovered Walmart hated me.

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FOUR
8.3.2009 - 15 comments

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Let's discuss the lady at the pool
7.31.2009 - 4 comments

Now I know I owe you the rest of the Vegas story.  But this part.  It deserves a story on it's own.  The worst part I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO SEE IT!

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And then I felt old
7.31.2009 - 4 comments

My little 17 niece works for us.  If we are being honest she is my cousin but she is 10 years younger then me so I've always called her my niece out of habit. 

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Because sometimes recipes fail
7.29.2009 - 0 comments

Cooking Light totally failed on this one!

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So you're going to Vegas
7.27.2009 - 9 comments

A couple months ago Patty e-mailed me telling me she was taking her summer vacation to Las Vegas. I pondered the idea and thought, "hey I could just fly there, it's only an hour away." However after thinking about the cost of a plane ride, the taxi to and from the airport, PLUS the cost of a hotel I rethought I my plan. I decided I could drive there for a lot less. Only problem is my husband said I was not allowed to drive alone.

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Dear Vegas
7.22.2009 - 9 comments

Open letter to the cop who pulled me over in Schurz,

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You know it's a bad week when
7.18.2009 - 14 comments

When you put your underwear on inside out AGAIN.

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First library trip = massive fail
7.17.2009 - 1 comment

So, remember that library trip from like ummm 3 weeks ago? 

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I know....I KNOW
7.16.2009 - 3 comments

Yes. 

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Smiths must be pretty hard up
7.15.2009 - 11 comments

Last night I had some time to waste so my mom and I went to the grocery store.  We brought along Codi, which of course meant he had to snack as we shopped.  I've always been careful to keep the packaging from stuff my kids snack on to make sure I get charged for it.  So when he decided he wanted a fruit roll up I opened it up and tossed the wrapper in the cart.  Three isles later after he was done using the fruit roll up as a sword he threw it in the cart and demanded something new.  My mom was hemming and hawing over something in the pasta isle so I raced ahead in my cart and grabbed a three pack of Strawberry Horizon milk.  Codi sucked the first one down before we even made it back to my mom.  I opened a second one and then he found the little individual packs of Hostess donuts. 

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Good parenting at it's finest
7.11.2009 - 3 comments

When you are sick and your kids are sick and breakfast time rolls around, sometimes you get a little, well, you get a little lazy.  That is why this morning my boys are eating ice cream sandwiches for breakfast.  I don't feel bad though, because if you think about it, ice cream is made of eggs and cream, and the sandwich pieces are kind of like toast, so really, if you really think about it it's exactly the same as giving them scrambled eggs, with toast and a glass of milk for breakfast right?

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Moms are crazy ass bitches
7.10.2009 - 4 comments

I remember when I had Brandon I was reading Jenny McCarthy's book I particularly remember her talking about stroller envy.

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Look I can do it too!
7.7.2009 - 6 comments

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Truer words have never been spoken
7.7.2009 - 2 comments

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Relief
7.6.2009 - 10 comments

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He must be my kid huh
7.1.2009 - 11 comments

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6.30.2009 - 3 comments

I feel like the girl on Willy Wonka who ate a blueberry and blew up into a giant blueberry....only, I think I ate a fatberry instead!

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The good, the bad, and the time I pissed myself
6.29.2009 - 7 comments

The bad: My husband’s windows are tinted so dark I can’t see when I go around corners at night. I have to roll the fucking window down to make sure I don’t go over a center divider.

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Did I ever tell you guys about the time I hurt my...
6.28.2009 - 7 comments

Picture it, Reno, 2005 a girl about to have a baby (see how I channel Sophia there).  I go to the doctor and find out that my baby is measuring 9.5 pounds.  Looks like we are having a C-section.  Between my extremely tilted uterus and my massive baby disaster was bound.  4 days later my beautiful 7.2 ounce baby was born.  Anyway, the point is.  Prior to the C-section I had a pre-op appointment at which I was told to shave near the incision line.  I dutifully went home and did a little shaving only to arrive that day and have a nurse lift up my gown, frown and exclaim, "well that just won't work."  Minutes later she is walking back in with a disposable bric razor and she is aiming for my baby maker. 

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I love debating
6.27.2009 - 2 comments

Right.  So, lets go back to this post, you know the one about Kate spanking her kids.  I promised you my opinion and here it is.

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Today's humor
6.26.2009 - 3 comments

Shannon: HOW TALL ARE YOU AGAIN?
I NEED TO KNOW JUST HOW HIGH OF HEALS I NEED TO PACK
 

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Let's have a debate
6.24.2009 - 14 comments

Before I put my two cents in (because y'all already know how I feel about spanking) I would love to hear your opinions on this particular incident!

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Look who is cooking again
6.24.2009 - 4 comments

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Re-run
6.22.2009 - 9 comments

I love a lot of TV shows.  Admittedly a lot of them are food ones.  Top Chef, Next Food Network Star, Hells Kitchen, Challenge, etc.

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Cookie Jar
6.22.2009 - 4 comments

This song totally describes my life.  While I realize the singer is absolutely not talking about food every time I hear it I laugh so much because that is exactly how I am with food.  I just can't refuse eating, in fact I wouldn't mind taking a fork and spoon to the delicious lead singer Travie of this band.  I swear I have no control.  I need a shock collar.  No, more like a shock bracelet, any time I pick up snack foods, junk foods, sweet foods, excessive foods it can shock my ass until I learn to stop seeing just how many chocolate covered marshmallows fit in my mouth at once.

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Now with bangs
6.19.2009 - 10 comments

Saw the hair man the other day.  Got me some bangs and layers.  Am to fat to take better pictures, but you get the idea.

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Adult supervision necessary at all times
6.19.2009 - 5 comments

I've eaten really well all week.  ALL WEEK.  Until last night, when Rob went to dinner with his friend and took the kids.  I was starving and home alone so I did the only logical thing a bi-polar foodie like me would do.  I immediately ate a cookie.  Then I ate three Burger King Cheesy Tots, a giant bowl of cinnamon toast crunch (at least 4 servings worth) and finally a fried egg sandwich with extra cheese and double mayo.

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I looked cute for an entire 23 minutes today
6.19.2009 - 5 comments

Today I got all dressed up cute and came to work.  23 minutes into the day i answered a phone call when I suddenly got the overwhelming urge to vomit.  I quickly put the lady on hold and ran to the bathroom barely making it before vommiting up the breakfast I had just injested 4 minutes prior.  But, apparantly 27 years of vommiting doesn't train you not to puke all over your cute pants.  Hell, with that kind of aim I might as well have been drunk huh?

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HAPPY IPHONE UPDATE DAY!!!!!!!
6.17.2009 - 3 comments

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Humor Pie
6.17.2009 - 7 comments

You know, I think the only thing that keeps me sort of functioning is the fact that I am still able to see the good around me, and also the funny.

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Ouch with a side of cake
6.15.2009 - 20 comments

Ouch. That shit hurts.

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When my cousins come to visit
6.12.2009 - 5 comments

My cousins, Chris, Ben & Aaron came to see me today.  This is what they taugh Brandon.

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Ladies and Gentlemen we have discovered the fourth Gotti boy
6.9.2009 - 14 comments

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I get the best presents
6.9.2009 - 12 comments

Ginger and I have been friends since the dinosaurs roamed the earth.  That being said, Ginger has a habit of giving me really good gifts.  This is because Ginger happens to be reallllly great in the kitchen and have a habit of showing up at my house with tasty treats.

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Interview with Brandon age Almost 4
6.7.2009 - 3 comments

This has being going around and around the web, why not jump on the bandwagon.

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I officially suck....aka...the winners of the giveaway
6.6.2009 - 2 comments

I am sorry.  I only posted this give away a MONTH ago.  I'm fucking awful.  Heres the deal.  I've been backlogged at work, upside down trying to get the bankruptcy stuff together, stuck in a depression, and buried.

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The day I got fired
6.3.2009 - 11 comments

I guess I should mention that Codi has been trying to potty train himself.  He does pretty good during the day.  He peed on the potty about 9 times today.  We have been so proud of him at work.  What we didn't account for was him pooping on the floor.  In all honesty I wouldn't even have known about it if he didn't start screaming bloody murder because he stepped in it.  My cousin Victoria heard him crying and picked him up to clean up the poop off him and I ran to clean the poop off the floor.

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From my garden
6.2.2009 - 8 comments

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I don't like antiques but I do like vintage stuff ;)
6.2.2009 - 10 comments

My mom collects stuff.  A LOT OF STUFF.  The worst part is she will find stuff (garage sales, vacant houses, estate sales, the side of the damn road), and have no use for it, so she will just stuff it in a shed somewhere.  For years we have battled over her "antiques."  I don't like them.  Still don't.  However, some of the stuff I love, the stuff I classify as vintage and funky rather then old and junky.  We have battled because she is terrified to die because GASP I might not keep all of her treasures stored in their various sheds.  I'm kind of a believer that if you have something it should be SEEN!

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Ooooh, so that is why I stopped wearing those
5.31.2009 - 6 comments

I was next door at one of my parents rentals today.  Suddenly I realized I had to pee so I took off to my house.  I got home and ran upstairs and quickly took of my shorts and undies.  I did my business and then suddenly thought, "gee, that feels weird, feels like there is something dangling out of my butt."  I thought for a second and then realized, in my big rush I DID NOT PULL MY THONG UNDERWEAR DOWN!  I had just pottied on my undies!!!!!!!

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For the first time in 11 years I am not affraid!
5.30.2009 - 7 comments

I checked my mail today and was delighted to see a big ole envelope from my bestest blogger buddy Cris Cullen.  I was stoked, I was convinced more good mail would follow. 

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Fail sight
5.29.2009 - 7 comments

I've always worn glasses.  For a very brief time I tried out contacts.  I have never wanted to gouge my eyes out so bad.  They were worse then the worst allergies I've ever had.  I gave up and went back to glasses.

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Eat your fucking vegetables kid (Link fixed)
5.28.2009 - 4 comments

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OMG she cooks
5.27.2009 - 2 comments

Holy shit I posted a recipe.  To see what it is go here.

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I read a book
5.24.2009 - 17 comments

I just wrote this post. It was beautiful. Then I hit refresh, and since my new blog format doesn't auto save the whole fucking thing was gone. I'm pretty fucking pissed. Here is my redo, it won't be as great as the first because the first was from the heart with no thinking, and this version is the over thought version.

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5.21.2009 - 2 comments

Lyrics | Eminem lyrics - Beautiful lyrics

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Compulsions
5.20.2009 - 14 comments

Like I said in my previous post my therapist would like me to document things I am going through. One thing that stands out like a pink elephant in the room is when I start sinking down I go on spending binges. I always have. Before I would go charge up a new credit card. At one point I had two Target credit cards. I've been known to be in a bad way and come home declaring to my husband that we MUST buy a new TV now because the old one is just ugly. The next thing I knew we were opening a Good Guys account and not just buying the biggest fanciest TV but throwing in a retardedly expensive Bose surround sound with a subwoofer bigger then my car.

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Quiet
5.19.2009 - 7 comments

I've been sort of quiet on here lately.  I'm going through some stuff in my head and I guess I feel like there is only so much I can whine about it to all of you.   My therapist and I were discussing strategies to help me during high anxiety situations.  In the middle of it I stopped and told him, i feel like lately I've been getting sucked back into the hole.  I noticed just 10 days ago I was on a high cleaning spree, on top of the chores, on top of my parenting.  Suddenly I noticed a change.  Doing laundry is like pulling teeth.  Vacuuming?  Who ME?  how is it, my most favorite thing this week has suddenly become something I can't even stomach doing.

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Assholes
5.18.2009 - 14 comments

A few weekends ago my mom and I merrily spent the day at the local nurserys buying things for my garden.  Potatoes, onions, chives, basil, cilantro, peppers, tomatoes, oregano, etc.  My garden was going to be glorious.  The next morning BAMN peppers, onions and half the tomatoes gone.  Cilantro GONE!

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TO DO LIST
5.15.2009 - 1 comment

I'm leaving for CA this weekend to see the in laws.  Since this means I usually have a ton of free time I plan to pack my laptop and spend all of Satruday posting the winners to the contest and posting all of the correct answers plus the ones that made me laugh the hardest.  I also have a couple recipes to post on the food blog.  So Yay!  I'm going to get all caught up and shit!  Also, I know who the winner is already.  I also know there is going to be two small prizes for the runners up!

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Isn't that a Bush song
5.13.2009 - 13 comments

A few weeks ago at the advice of my general practitioner I made an appointment with a Psychiatrist. My doctor did not feel comfortable giving me a second medication with out the advice of someone who has extensive backgrounds in drugs. 

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Winners
5.12.2009 - 0 comments

So.  If you are wondering why I haven't announced the winners yet it is because I just found out G-mail had spammed 32 of my comments. 

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Wait, was it mothers day or something
5.12.2009 - 8 comments

Sunday morning i woke up to find the server that hosts my blog was down.  That is why there are no super heart felt posts from me.  Late Sunday they got it back up and running, unfortunatly the server in my head did not start processing until just now.

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Ummm what do I do with that
5.7.2009 - 10 comments

Ginger and I went and got pedicures together this weekend.  As I was sitting there having my toes painted when a girl walked up to me, looked at my toes and said;

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Check out the boys new house
5.6.2009 - 5 comments

You can see it here on my flickr.  We already put their grill on the deck and their table and chairs.  When the windows go in we will paint and move their kitchen in and a couch.  My super awesome niece got this for us.  Two of them actually. Where she goes to school they build these little mini houses to practice learning construction.  They do three practice houses and then build one nice one at the end to auction off.  They gave us the practice ones.  Click the flickr to see the inside.  They have electricity, plumbing, stairs and a deck!

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HI
5.6.2009 - 1 comment

Sorry I haven't been here in a while.  I've been busy, doing a whole lot of nothing.  I'm catching a cold which, suck town!

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Put your study hats on
5.2.2009 - 13 comments

Yay time for another give away.  Since Mothers day is just around the corner I decided to concentrate on that.  I am posting a little quiz for you.  Some of these may be trick questions.  Each question is worth 1-2 points.  However even if you answer wrong, if I like your answer enough I'll give you a point.  Flattery might get you an extra point.  Non flattering answers might make your comment accidentally get lost in the Spam file.  Answers that make me laugh really hard get bonus points! The prize will be something directed towards moms. You can still answer if you are not a mom and you can give the prize to your mom.  The prize might be something relaxing or filling or, whatever, who knows but it will be good.  The more people that answer the question the bigger the prize will be.  That means if only five of you answer I might only feel like giving away a $7.00 gift card to the dollar tree!  This means if you procrastinate and say you'll get to the quiz later and then forget you are totally screwing the other possible winners because your comment could be the difference between a $7.00 gift card and a $30.00 gift card!

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photo
4.30.2009 - 8 comments

Crissy tagged me for this.  It's been going around the blogosphere for a while now.  Take a picture of yourself right then and there.  No make up, primping, posing.  You can see how tired I am if you look in my eyes.

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Self portrait
4.30.2009 - 14 comments

Are my mom and I the only ones wondering why Brandon gave himself a nice fluffy pair of boobs?

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It's getting worse
4.29.2009 - 15 comments

As you can see I spent the day cleaning.  A lot.  I spent my night cleaning too.  I vacuumed twice today and I have hard wood.  One room has carpet and I have one small area rug.  I vacuum the wood though,  In the corners, under tables, all the edges, etc.  The past two weeks I have encountered days where I have vacuumed my house 7 -10 times a day.  I've been trying to do dishes daily.  Trying to keep up on laundry.  Today I went crazy organizing things and I kept going into the night.  I'm constantly walking around after the kids picking things up.  After dinner I did the dishes, scrubbed my stove and counters, and cleaned some other things up.

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How I spent my day
4.29.2009 - 9 comments

Before

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Passed out
4.28.2009 - 7 comments

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This is not what I had in mind when I asked you to share Codi!
4.28.2009 - 3 comments

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Then and now
4.27.2009 - 8 comments

When I first moved into this house I was in need of some couches.  I knew I couldn't afford anything spectacular so I turned to Craigs List.  Imagine my surprise when one day my mom found these gorgeous down slipcover couches for only $400.00 on day.  Turns out the guy spent $3,000.00 on these two years ago at Macys.  His wife was from England and for whatever reason she was deported very quickly.  This left him with an entire house to empty so he could get there with her.  He was selling everything for dirt cheap.  In fact he was in such a hurry he also threw in a coffee table for Rob's man room, a very cute little stool and my favorite fake plant.

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This weekend the Universe was against me
4.26.2009 - 12 comments

Yesterday morning I woke up in desperate need of some coffee.  I started it brewing and ran to get dressed.  Finally I ran downstairs poured some creamer in my cup and grabbed the coffee pot to fill it up.  I was in such a hurry I didn't even realize the coffee pot was barely full.  Then I noticed a few coffee grounds in the pot. Uggggg, I was thinking the coffee filter tucked over like it does sometimes and a few grounds got in the coffee.  Upon closer inspection of the coffee pot I noticed that it was FULL of coffee, and grounds, but no filter.  Hmmm.  It would appear that I had forgotten the filter all together.  So the basket just sat there filling up and over flowing.  When I stuck the pot back in somehow it loosened the grounds and WHOOOOSH coffee went everywhere.  It took me forever to clean the coffee maker out, dig out all of the grounds and start over. 

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Tales from the Crypt
4.25.2009 - 8 comments

One night the boys were both in the bath.  Brandon started farting and thought he was HILARIOUS.  We all laughed and it just egged him on.  Finally we finished up the bath, washed the boys and got them out of the bath.  Our routine after a bath is that Rob takes Brandon wraps him in a towel and puts him in bed under a bunch of blankies to dry.  I handle Codi, get his teeth brushed and sit downstairs with him while he relaxes and gets ready for bed.  While Brandon dries Rob goes in and drains the bath and rinses it then handles Brandon.  It works out nicely.  So this time Brandons in his bed giggling about all his farting, I'm downstairs and I hear,

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I'm cancelling cable when they turn 16
4.22.2009 - 10 comments

I've been cleaning my house all day.  I get the bright idea to sit down for lunch and see what's on, ON DEMAND.  Nothing.  Thats what.  So I decide to look at pay preview.  Here are the first things that pop up.

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Bringing spring in
4.22.2009 - 5 comments

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B&C Park
4.21.2009 - 9 comments

The weekend started with the boys in their fort.  My mom built it for them

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In my front yard
4.21.2009 - 3 comments

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Getting caught
4.21.2009 - 6 comments

I've never been too good at following the rules of parenting.  My kids have always eaten the wrong things.  Case in point, my dad fed Brandon Krispy Kreme when he was three months.  Codi has eaten chocolate, dirt, and other things babies shouldn't. On Sunday Brandon had 4 different kinds of popcicles, because it was Sunday and we were working outside and WHO DOESN'T LOVE POPSICLE?

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Heaven
4.21.2009 - 3 comments

I've come to conclude after picking up cocoa crispies off the floor for the 17th time this morning (no exaggeration) and sweeping up toast crumbs and banana mush twice this morning that in MY HEAVEN THERE WILL BE NO GODDAMN FUCKING CRUMBS!

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Function
4.20.2009 - 2 comments

I have a great post coming up about where I've been since Easter.  I've been building a park in my back yard.  However, what I want to talk about right now is function. 

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Kids say the darndest things
4.17.2009 - 3 comments

Brandon: "Codi you're a silly munchkin."

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It doesn't work if we are in there
4.17.2009 - 8 comments

Last night Brandon was eating dinner midway through he declared he was full.  As he was getting down he looked at us and said,

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Savin' at the store
4.14.2009 - 16 comments

I stopped writing about my store savings for a while.  I did this because I felt like I was only regurgitating what I had been told, rather then what I knew.  It's been a few months now and I have a better handle on things.  When I started the envelope system I started it budgeting $100.00 per week on groceries.  This did not work.  Here is why.  Lets take a four week month for example, I'll break down in weeks about what I would buy.

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Alert the press
4.12.2009 - 4 comments

CODI ATE CHICKEN NUGGETS & GOLDFISH CRACKERS!

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Surprise rain shower
4.10.2009 - 8 comments

We had some surprise rain here.  I ran over and got the boys rain coats and we commenced puddle jumping.  We all took turns searching the property for the biggest puddles. 

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RUINED!!!!
4.10.2009 - 4 comments

For years I have loved REO Speedwagon.  They have some great love songs.  Great, he dumped me and I' sad so I'm going to blast this song, songs.  Then, today for some reason I watched a video and I was appalled.  

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The AM
4.9.2009 - 10 comments

This morning wasn't any better.  Brandon just pushed and pushed and pushed.  His teacher says he is at what they classify as the "defiant age."  No one told me being a mom would mean I would have a 3 year old toddler throwing things at my head, or laying on the floor kicking and screaming.  No one told me that the things you see on Supernanny really happen.  Kids really slam doors and kick their toys and throw their clothes.  They really lay in bed shouting NO NO NO louder and louder until you feel like it might be easier to live outside under a tree then in a house listening to that fucking bullshit for one more minute.  

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Jumble
4.8.2009 - 11 comments

I have so much I want to talk about.

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Them
4.8.2009 - 8 comments

The one who plays in the toilet

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Nice try dad
4.7.2009 - 6 comments

I'm upstairs laying in bed with Codi, like I do most mornings making sure he doesn't jump off our bed, suddenly I hear little footsteps coming running into my room and right up into my face...

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Breaking news
4.6.2009 - 11 comments

Codi just dunked a washcloth in the toilet and rubbed it all over his head, the floors and my walls.

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Project
4.5.2009 - 12 comments

Katie's birthday was last week.  Last night we celebrated her birthday by having dinner.  I had gotten her a present, but as I was gift wrapping it in a Whole Foods reusable lunch bag (her old one was ugly) I remembered something else that drove me nuts.

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How did you find me?
4.5.2009 - 9 comments

Marni just did a little post showing the things people googled to find her.  Then she asked us to do the same.  So, here you go, the things people googled that led them to my blog!

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It is too early for this conversation
4.3.2009 - 14 comments

This conversation takes place this morning while I was attempting to change my maxi pad only seconds after waking up.

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Happy April 1 means Happy April fools JACKASS!
4.2.2009 - 12 comments

A text conversation via my husband and I

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Ouch
4.2.2009 - 7 comments

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Chicken Caprese Pasta
3.31.2009 - 6 comments

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The things parents do
3.31.2009 - 6 comments

Long ago, to get Brandon to eat his brocoli I took a page from Parents magazine, and told him they were little mini trees.  It worked, he loves them still to this day. (He also still calls them trees but, meh who cares.)

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Tick tock tick tock
3.31.2009 - 12 comments

On my last visit with my shrink I made a few comments and noticed him furiously scribbling away.  Later when there was a lull in the conversation he said, "lets come back to when you said you don't go to other peoples houses because they are dirty.

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I know exactly how Edward feels
3.31.2009 - 7 comments

I have this friend Ginger.  We hang out a lot.  And every time, with out fail it happens.  She opens my car door to get in, the wind catches her and my entire car is filled with her sent.  This shit.  Every single time the second I can smell her I am torn between wanting to jump out of me seat and lick her or wanting to punch her in the face for smelling so good and being a girl. 

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Tidbits
3.30.2009 - 8 comments

* I am driving to San Francisco Wednesday to Meet Dooce and get my copy of her book signed.  Woohoo!

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EARTH HOUR
3.28.2009 - 6 comments

   Earth Hour 2009 by WWF - Sign up for Earth Hour!

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Feed Reader Reminder
3.28.2009 - 1 comment

If you want to add this blog to your website please add

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So what did you do today
3.28.2009 - 8 comments

Disclaimer: This was really from yesterday but I didn't get a chance to post it.

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He must have really wanted his house cleaned
3.27.2009 - 6 comments

My cousin Lisa just sent me this link:

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Gotta love husbands
3.26.2009 - 8 comments

What happens when your husband comes outside to the grill where you have taken over and says:

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Showoff
3.25.2009 - 9 comments

Not wanting his dance moves to be trumped by Codi's Brandon asked me to document his moves on film, here is my favorite.  He is dancing to his new favorite song, "Makunkunga face" (translation, Poker Facy by Lady GaGa).

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Enjoying the Mundane
3.24.2009 - 8 comments

My husband used to tell me that being a vegetarian while I was pregnant ruined Brandon. He said this because for almost two and a half years Brandon hated meat. In fact for about two and a half years Brandon existed on macaroni, Cheeto’s and string cheese. Then one day it was as if he woke up a new person. Suddenly he loves food. More specific he loves meat. Brandon devours chicken. He loves my roasted chicken, grilled chicken, chicken tacos, CHICKEN covered chicken. He loves steak. He loves Spam (in his world it is meat). He thinks pork tacos are the greatest in the world. He loves brown rice and white rice. He would eat broccoli every day if I let him. Corn of course. He even loves edamame. Last week I even found him eating mushrooms. He likes gravy and bacon and potatoes. Grilled cheese, egg sandwiches, pancakes, yogurt and toast. Spaghetti makes the world go round ad cheese, is like the cherry on top. The point is, Brandon eats. In fact, right now he is eating a soy chocolate ice cream sandwich, yes, my boy eats soy ice cream. In fact here is a clip of the conversation that just took place.
Me: Brandon if you eat all of your dinner you can have a surprise

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My Super Men
3.23.2009 - 3 comments

Ain't that sexy?  My hubby in the kitchen making me a salad!

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In which you all think I've lost my fucking mind
3.23.2009 - 6 comments

When my biological father died, I dreamt of him often.  The dreams were almost always the same, I would be taken to some big fancy house where my dad stood in a white suite with white patent leather shoes telling me, it was all a joke, he was really alive and surprise he was rich and life was okay.  Odd. 

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Coming off the hate train for a minute
3.23.2009 - 2 comments

Today's song is a new one by Beyonce.  I loved it the very second I heard it, because it reminds me exactly of my husband.  So, here are the lyrics you can read them, or turn up your speakers and listen to them.

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And the winner is...
3.23.2009 - 3 comments

LUCINDA!!!

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PLZ SEND COFFEE
3.23.2009 - 1 comment

Am  tired.  Please send coffee.  Preferably with caramel and lots and lots of sugar kthx!

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Music
3.21.2009 - 1 comment

I generally don't like to play music on here that is really current.  Because who knows how I will feel about it in a week or two.  However this song by Apocalyptica is one of my favorites.  I love this song.  I realize it is a little more rock then most people like but fuck, does this totally speak to whats going on in my head in so many ways right now.  So, if you don't like rock hit the mute button, but, if you like a good song, turn up your speakers and rock the fuck out!

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Ultimate Blog Party
3.20.2009 - 11 comments

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Final Pay it Forward
3.20.2009 - 2 comments

Hey guys, Crissy the last winner of my Pay it Forward contest is hosting her own pay it forward today, so go hurry up and enter....she gives good prizes too!

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Them
3.19.2009 - 9 comments

THE ONE WHO PEES ON MY DESK

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Thanks for that Codi
3.19.2009 - 8 comments

I haven't talked much about Codi's teeth on here, because really how interesting are teeth? I know you are all sitting there obsessively refreshing your readers hoping that today I will talk about teeth, or ooo maybe even ear wax right?

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Yes I am a dork
3.18.2009 - 6 comments

The other night Codi woke up crying.  He often does this around 3-4:00am.  Usually at this time I bring him in my bed.  He was sniffing a lot and sucking a lot of snot.  I reached around groggily, grabbed a tissue and wiped his nose.  A half hour later I heard it again, sniffle sniffle, choke, gag.  I grabbed more tissue, wiped his nose and we both fell back asleep.  That morning when I woke up in the sunlight I looked over to see my babies face covered in BLOOD.

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The knife
3.18.2009 - 3 comments

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A few of my favorite things
3.16.2009 - 6 comments

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Lucky
3.16.2009 - 9 comments

I often hear that I am so "lucky" to be able to take my kids to work with me.

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FINALLY A GIVE AWAY WOOHOO!
3.16.2009 - 14 comments

So.  For a long time I've been that person who really didn't have to do much with their face.  I washed it when I remembered and yet I still had a pretty great complexion.  After Brandon I started using Philosophy just for funnsies.  Thought maybe it was time to start doing some maintaining you know.  However.  Recently nothing has helped.  My face went into MASSIVE TEENAGE BOY BREAK OUT PHASE.  I got crazy and started trying out new products.  What I would do is go to Sephora and ask for samples of stuff.  Try it for a while and see what happened.  NOTHING WAS WORKING.  My face was screaming out mayday MAYDAY FOR FUCKS SAKE WOMAN FIX ME UP.

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yeah yeah the giveaway sheesh
3.16.2009 - 2 comments

Yes!  I promised a give away Friday.  But y'all I just got so caught up in the business of being me I never got time to upload the photos.  Now I'm at work and the pictures are over there <------- at my house.  But it is coming today.  It's a good one.  First I need to figure out what I'm going to make you do for it.  So, check back it will be up by 5pm my time which is...Reno time.

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Where is the soap
3.15.2009 - 14 comments

This morning I was trying to get Brandon dressed.  i was pleading with him to please just put his dirty underwear in the hamper.  He got all pissy with me the following is what took place:

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Feeling Hawt despite the chaos
3.13.2009 - 6 comments

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Fucking Reno
3.12.2009 - 11 comments

This weekend I did a little shopping.  Rob and I are doing the envelope system and we each get a little bit of money weekly.  I had been saving mine and finally decided to spend some.  Since having the boys I fell into a bit of a clothing slump.  What I would call FRUMPY LAND.  My closet was full of basic shirts, sweaters and jeans.  Shoe wise, it was converse, vans, flip flops, or winter boots.  Once upon a time I had cute stylish clothes and shoes but as each pregnancy came and went I found myself tossing them into the garage sale bin.  "Moms don't have time to dress cute" I often thought.  Finally I decided to start working on my clothes and shoes again.  I am slowly building a nice collection of "cute" things.  Things that don't make me look like a bum, or like, that mom who couldn't pull herself together to go to the park. 

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Morals
3.12.2009 - 5 comments

Is it wrong that I am currently dancing around my living room with my fifteen month old child in my arms to the tune of Dr. Dre's Next Episode?

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Please note
3.12.2009 - 6 comments

Comments are now located below the post.  It should be a simpler comment form and easier to work.  Try it out.  Leave me a comment.  

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Journaling and other tidbits (this is long but worth it)
3.11.2009 - 10 comments

I had my first meeting with a psychologist on Monday.  Moments before the appointment here is what I wrote in my journal while sitting at various stop lights, and then in the waiting room at his office.

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Tides Loads of Hope
3.11.2009 - 2 comments

I was contacted by Blog Her to post about Tide's Loads of Hope program.  I had no idea what this was so I followed the website.   Here is what the website says:

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3.11.2009 - 1 comment

To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid!

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For those of you wondering how my diet is going
3.10.2009 - 6 comments

I currently have about 9 boxes of Thin Mints in my pocession.  Along with 5 other boxes of Girl Scout Cookies.  You see, after I posted about wanting to order some, Nevada Nanny contacted me. I ordered about 5 boxes from her.  Then Angie called and I felt bad and ordered a box from her.  She, trying to sabotage me and win on the Tuesday Tummy Tuck bets we have going on showed up with TWO boxes of Thin Mints.  The next day Katie walked in with TWO more and I was all, "oh fuck mama is going to need some fat pants this month."  Only, since then, two weeks ago when I got my first box I have eaten a total of five cookies.  My husband is doing an excellent job of making sure I stick to my diet.  His way of helping is simply to eat all of the cookies himself.  Here is the most recent text message I got from my husband.

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Well that's a good deal
3.10.2009 - 3 comments

In honor of my great grocery savings this week I would like to pass some savings on to you.  If you visit

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Note to husband
3.8.2009 - 8 comments

The clock on my nightstand says 7:58 AM. 

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And then I realized I was a mom and I had TWO BOYS
3.7.2009 - 11 comments

Went shopping today.  While I would love to tell you how I got $130.00 in groceries for $50.00 I am going to tell you how going shopping with boys is a fucking retarded idea and unless you are the kind of person who likes stabbing yourself in the eye repeatedly with a fork DON'T DO IT!

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Love
3.5.2009 - 6 comments

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Another bag
3.5.2009 - 1 comment

Tabitha posted the link to what's in her bag...and damn her bag is organized!

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WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER
3.5.2009 - 4 comments

So the winner from my "guess how much change is in my ridiculously large purse contest" is ...

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Thank you
3.5.2009 - 1 comment

One of the things I love about my new website is the little CONTACT button right up there.   I have receieved SO SO SO MANY special emails from people responding to my posts.  I feel like maybe some people are afraid to leave comments so they just let their words pass.  But now that they can email me privately it is like they are brave and feel like they can share.  

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It eludes me
3.4.2009 - 5 comments

Sleep has been weird since I started my medicine. I am able to sleep better, for longer stretches but I dream. Not just any dreams, very detailed dreams. Dreams that sometimes are just weird and nonsensical and dreams that sometimes are too real, too much that I have to wake up. I have a hard time falling asleep, but tylenol PM helps with that. My problem is the dreams. Sometimes my dreams are so busy I have to wake up because my head can't handle it.

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Put a ring on it
3.4.2009 - 5 comments

You know what drives me crazy?  When Hollywood trash magazines instantly assume someone is getting a divorce because a woman is pictured with no wedding ring on. 

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Happy Birthday Papa
3.2.2009 - 3 comments

Today is my dads birthday.  I made him this great video as part of his present.  It is a little long (12 minutes) but if you can make it to the end, past the PS part you are in for the biggest surprise of your life.  Also, I totally double dog dare you not to get this song stuck in your head!

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Lets play a game
3.1.2009 - 11 comments

WHAT'S IN MY BAG!

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Song
2.26.2009 - 3 comments

I put up one of my most favorite songs, so click out of your reader, turn up your speakers and listen.  It 100% goes with the post below.

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The demons
2.25.2009 - 14 comments

Someone asked me recently, "why did you have two kids if you need to take medicine to deal with them?"  I didn't reply because, well the reply would have taken hours.  The first thing is my kids are absolutely not the reason I am taking medication.  The demons in my head are.  Long before I had kids I had these demons.  Demons that made me go to sleep on the couch in my living room with the front door wide open, while I lived alone because I didn't care what could happen.  Demons who could squash my overwhelming fear of the dark and make me go out at midnight walks never fearing what could happen.  Demons that would make me pull out pictures of my dead grandma and look at them until I cried.  Demons that made me go to the coroners office and ask for my dads autopsy report just so I could cry over it all. 

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And, in case you don't like tofu, I present Curry Chicken over Rice
2.25.2009 - 0 comments

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Curry Tofu over rice
2.25.2009 - 1 comment

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I am never eating again
2.24.2009 - 8 comments

I was watching Food Detectives this morning when an interesting story came on.  How do manufacturers get color in their foods?  I was appalled at one answer and did some research of my own.  The following is taken from a Website called Natural News"

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I curled my hair and then played on photobooth
2.23.2009 - 2 comments

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Corporal punishment
2.22.2009 - 8 comments

As you all know I am totally against spanking, hitting, slapping etc when it comes to kids.  I have gotten better about other people doing it.  If you spank, fine don't talk to me about it.  If you do it in front of me I have gotten really good at turning around, counting to ten and calming down rather then decking you in the face to see how you like it.

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Tasty Temptations
2.20.2009 - 4 comments

Hey y'all check out the food blog.  I've updated it and revamped it making it prettier!

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Summer chicken salad
2.19.2009 - 6 comments

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And it permiated the depths of my soul
2.19.2009 - 7 comments

Re: This post

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A prayer for the anxiety ridden
2.19.2009 - 3 comments

Dear God.

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Dear husband
2.19.2009 - 11 comments

If you insist on leaving the downstairs bathroom with only three sheets of toilet paper on the roll, that is fine, I am used to that.

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Blow your mind basil chicken
2.18.2009 - 7 comments

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Pay it forward
2.18.2009 - 9 comments

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Music
2.17.2009 - 4 comments

I feel lost with out the music on my blog.  I have this great song stuck in my head, it goes with everything going on in my mess of a life right now, and all I want to do is share it with you all.  However, I'm being told that I shouldn't have music on my blog now that I have a big girl blog.  So.  I guess y'all never get to hear my great song!

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He is one smart cookie
2.16.2009 - 4 comments

(Brandon speaking to me)

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Say what now
2.14.2009 - 8 comments

So, I finally get in to see the ultrasound lady she is a really nice older lady with a sweet grandma type voice. I mentally remind myself not to cuss or call anyone a slut for the 20 minutes I’m in here. I lay back and she hands me the wand to insert. That is my least favorite part. Having to put this long dildo thing inside myself…very weird. She grabs a hold and starts looking at various girl parts on the monitor. There is your uterus, there is an ovary, oh look your follicles are bigger on this side (follicles are eggs…which means I’ll ovulate on that side next which means OUCH MOTHERFUCKER PAIN!)

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AND THE WINNER IS.....
2.13.2009 - 2 comments

LESLEY!!!!!!!!!

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Hungry for some fried chicken
2.13.2009 - 5 comments

If so come here for the recipe

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Cupid Clusters
2.13.2009 - 3 comments

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How I almost ruined my pretty panties
2.12.2009 - 9 comments

I had an appointment today for an ultrasound.  It was scheduled for 12:30.  I quickly ate lunch and realized I had to pee.  Since the ultrasound was for girl related things I knew it was best not to pee until I found out if they needed a full bladder. 

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Quirks
2.11.2009 - 4 comments

My husband mentions in his little diddy under the "about me" section that at night I lay there with Codi while he cries. I had to laugh because I realize that makes me sounds like someone who lets their kid "cry it out." I actually tried that twice and massively failed, both attempts ending in me pulling him out of the crib and cramming my boob in his mouth while letting him sleep in my bed. Now that he is sleeping on his own he wakes up one or two times a night and he usually starts crying. My instinct is of course to pick him up. His instinct is to arch his back hick his legs and flail his arms like a wild flying monkey and REFUSE to let me touch him. This does not only occur at night, it occurs any time he cries now. Unlike Brandon who wanted to be held in the midst of a fit, Codi would rather lay on the floor kick, scream and throw one of those fits you see on Super Nanny. If he could talk I'm pretty sure he would say "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE."

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Note to self
2.10.2009 - 1 comment

If you are not supposed to rub your eyes with jalapeno on your finger, it is probably a bad idea to pick your nose too!

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I HAVE FEED!!!
2.10.2009 - 2 comments

TO UPDATE MY NEW BLOG TO YOUR FEED READER PLEASE ADD

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Drives me nuts
2.10.2009 - 5 comments

I always have a laugh when people comment on my parenting.  Not my actual parenting methods per say, but you know those under their breath comments in the store, or in passing.  That drives me nuts.  The best example is how often people point out that Codi isn't wearing socks.  It comes in many forms:

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First post on my shiny new blog
2.10.2009 - 4 comments

Welcome to the new page. It is still under construction but I decided it was finally time to reveal it to y'all. Check it all out. Make sure you stop by the about me page and read the amazing little diddy Katie wrote about me. Yes the font will be fixed by today!

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MY FIRST GIVEAWAY
2.9.2009 - 14 comments

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Mayday
2.5.2009 - 1 comment

 Mayday Mayday BROWNIE DOWN

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Update
2.5.2009 - 1 comment

Update on the brownies:

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And then God himself blessed me with his magic stick
2.4.2009 - 1 comment

 Last night I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. I was having a sad day and all I wanted was some brownies. I was telling everyone and there mom about this and finally decided to make some. I marched in my kitchen grabbed what I needed and then promptly began pouting as I realized I had neither vegetable oil or applesauce. So I walked over to my computer and whined to everyone about it. That's when Ginger pops on yahoo with this little link:

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Snot
2.4.2009 - 1 comment

I brought Codi into bed with me around 5am this morning. He snuggled up on my arm and started snoring in my ear. Around 7 I looked over at him because I love to watch him sleep.

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VS
2.3.2009 - 1 comment

 Do you ever sit there at your desk and stare at your yogurt wishing it was a big fat brick of chocolate?

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So how are things going
2.2.2009 - 1 comment

First off all, Wednesday will be two weeks on my medicine. I will also up my dose to a full dose that day. Here are my observations on the drug so far.

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Dad at Superbowl
2.2.2009 - 1 comment

We had a very good superbowl party...details to come!

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When dad cooks dinner
1.31.2009 - 2 comments

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The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth
1.28.2009 - 1 comment

 

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What my kid was doing while I was busy taking pictures of Katie's kid
1.27.2009 - 1 comment

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The weekend Shannon went all out
1.27.2009 - 0 comments

I'm supposed to be home doing dishes right now, but my mom wants me to write about my weekend so fine, here....I'll fuss with dishes later.

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Aren't they beautiful
1.26.2009 - 1 comment

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Observations and other nonsense
1.26.2009 - 0 comments

Brandons teacher commented on how he always smells so nice in the morning and how his teeth are always brushed and his clothes are always clean. Umm. Aren't all kids? Do people really take their kids to school in dirty clothes and unclean? Eww.

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Note to self
1.26.2009 - 0 comments

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ITS BAAAAACK
1.24.2009 - 0 comments

I just turned on Noggin to hear the Boinga song. Noooooo please tell me this isn't back. If you want to hear the Boinga song and entertain your baby for hours go to you tube and type in BOINGA. You will thank me later when you are Boingaing in your sleep!

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What would I eat
1.24.2009 - 0 comments

Breakfast: One perfect piece of toast. One toasted NYC everything bagel with extra lots of cream cheese. A Venti Raspberry vanilla latte from Peet's WITH ALL THE FAT! Biscuits and gravy (no sausage) and Five scones from Bread and Ink in Oregon. Clementine oranges. One more bagel. My breakfast potatoes.

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What would you do
1.22.2009 - 0 comments

Tomorrow morning when you wake up you will discover that the FDA has discovered a new way of eating. All of the world will survive on nothing but pills. We will gain all nutrition from that. You have. You have one day left of eating real normal food. What do you pick?

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P.S.
1.21.2009 - 0 comments

Last night was Brandon's turn to take home Curious the Crocodile, which is their pet mascot in class. He had rules, Curious could not take a bath, because if he got wet he would "grow bigger then your house and get mean," and he could not eat people food. We were given a binder that was Curious' journal and told to fill it out with what we did. We took tons of pictures of Curious, glued them on all cute wrote some funny stuff and then Brandon wrote his name and drew some pictures. Two of the photos were of Curious helping bake cookies. I figured, since he helped make them we should take them to school today. When Rob picked up Brandon the teacher told him that she was thrilled with our page in the book. That it was exactly what she hoped parents would do (other pages just had some scribbles and a short entry that wasn't very exciting but we had pictures and cookies.) She then proceeded to tell Rob that in her opinion we were parents of the year for how involved we were and for bringing the cookies as an interaction for Brandons share time with Curious.

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Wam Bam Thank you Ma'am
1.21.2009 - 0 comments

I went to my annual girl appointment today. I'm going to warn you in advance this post is going to get a little..."ooogy" if you're a boy.

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I may be a sucker but I'm a sucker for follows through
1.20.2009 - 0 comments

My kid suckered me into baking cookies tonight by challenging whether or not I even knew how to cook em!

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Too fucking smart
1.20.2009 - 0 comments

Brandon: mom you don't know how to make cookies do you

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Hope
1.20.2009 - 0 comments

Today is a good day. I have hope!

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Update
1.18.2009 - 0 comments

Slow churn Thin Mint ice cream and wine don't taste good together!

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Try something different today
1.18.2009 - 0 comments

I had plans for today. Switch around the boys rooms, clean the house and go to the park. It all happened even if Codi and I didn't get to go to the park. As you can see, Codi is trying out his new sleeping digs. We will see how this works.

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Brown butter Gnocchi with spinach and pine nuts
1.15.2009 - 0 comments

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One of those days
1.15.2009 - 0 comments

I just spent a good 3 minutes in the kitchen at work freaking out because I couldn't remember if my lunch took a minute and a half to microwave or if it was 90 seconds. Yes. It is that kind of day.

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Today
1.14.2009 - 0 comments

Monday we had Codi's evaluation for the whole REFUSING TO EAT INCIDENT.  I had prepared myself for the worst.  Surely there would be something wrong with my kid.  Which, I suppose would be good because then he would be approved for treatment.  When we arrived I realized that I did not have my insurance card, which means some doctors office somewhere does.  I find that highly irritating because they clearly know they have it and haven't mailed it back.  Jerks.  I called Rob and had him give me all of the info off his card and filled out the other 100 papers.

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Come out come out wherever you are
1.12.2009 - 0 comments

It is delurking day! Yay. So stop by, leave me a comment let me know you are here and I'll come by and repay the favor!

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Idiot proof
1.9.2009 - 0 comments

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We're having chicken for dinner
1.9.2009 - 0 comments

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Looking for a few good girl scouts
1.8.2009 - comments

So I'm still here. I'm done dying. I'm just, ummm, kinda flopping around like a fish out of water but definitely not dying. I went to the doctor finally for some drugs and it went like this.

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Budget friendly cooking
1.6.2009 - 0 comments

I posted some great tips for budget friendly cooking along with a recipe over on the tasty blog. Check it out. Last nights stuffed shells recipe was part of this weeks meals that make more then one! Here is the link.

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To clarify for Angie
1.5.2009 - 2 comments

Angie and I were chatting tonight and I feel the need to clarify. I don't swallow the shit I cough up simply because I'm to much of a lady to hock a loogie I REALLY REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW. I physically can not do it. Instead I make a weird gagging choking noise and then swallow the junk in defeat. I assume, it is because I was too much of a lady back in the day to figure it out. Either way it drives me goddamn bonkers!

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Hungry?
1.5.2009 - 2 comments

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Still here...still dying
1.4.2009 - 3 comments

I just arrived back from an over night trip to San Francisco. It was supposed to be a two night trip however we left a day late due to the DYING THING! Our plan was to leave yesterday at 8am. So, at 8am I rolled out of bed. At 8:01 am I rolled back into bed and pretended I was not awake. I finally dragged my ass downstairs. I came down and laid down next to Rob on the couch whining. He informed me it was time to get ready. So I marched right upstairs and got back in bed. Rob = not impressed. I laid there while he packed and then after her gave me a look that said, "get your shit together now woman" I got up, snuck into the guest bedroom and got in that bed!

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The stroller that is no more
1.1.2009 - 0 comments

Forgive me for my lack of posting. I'm stuck at home sick, with a whining sick husband, a sick toddler and a destructive one year old. With out further ado I present the story of the stroller that is no more.

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The blanket
12.31.2008 - comments

Codi's Christmas present from my mom. She made this for him. We went back and forth on themes and finally settled on this one. Make sure you check out the back.

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Hello from my death bed (the couch)
12.30.2008 - comments

Am too lazy to locate computer. Am so very sick. The good sick you know where snot drips freely from your nose. So freely that at one point while laying down snot actually dripped in perfect little drops onto my pillow. Which left me wondering if I should change the cover or just be lazy and flip it. Bet you know what I chose. I also have a rocking sexy cough that makes me pee a little if I cough too hard. My throat is so raw that breathing makes me cough.

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The story of the pan
12.28.2008 - comments

I've got a gazillion things to tell you about Vegas. But until I rest more and upload photos you get nothing but the story of the pan.

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Merry Christmas
12.25.2008 - comments

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Can you hear me now
12.23.2008 - comments

Dear asshole guy at the airport on your phone. We can all hear you stop talking so loud. Also it is obvious you are a tool and you are single. The lady on the phone doesn't like you. Stop bragging about what a fucking idiot you are. Stop talking about how much you dont understand the housing market. No she doesnt want to meet up when you get in town stop asking over and over how many more ways can she say NO. Your weesely laugh is annoying as fuck. We are all laughing at you. Next time maybe learn to talk a little quieter.

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Airport
12.23.2008 - comments

I'm at the airport watching my parents plane take off with my kid in it. While I understand that the little truck shooting steam at the plane is most likely a safety thing that doesn't mean a little part of me isn't screaming OH SHIT their plane caught fire look at the smoke. In fact that is what I did for the first two minutes till I realiWd what was happening. They should maybe warn us here in the terminal that no folks the plane isn't on fire this is a standard procedure. Cuz homegirl was freaking out.

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Regulators
12.20.2008 - comments

SO! Ginger and I are baking (pictures of that later). I have tried my 19048th cup of cocoa and eaten my weight in cookie dough. Needless to say I'm on a good sugar high. Which is why, when Tootsie Roll came on my Ipod I found myself in the living room re-enacting my cheer leading days. So. With out further ado I present SHANNON DOES CHEERLEADING JUMPS! READY Okay Not so toe touch She landed it Almost THIS CONCLUDES OUR LESSON IN OLD LADIES WHO SHOULD NOT BE ATTEMPTING CHEERLEADING JUMPS (NOT PICTURED, THE PHOTO WHERE GINGER SNAPPED THE PICTURE AT THE EXACT TIME THAT BOTH OF MY BOOBS FLOPPED ALL THE WAY OUT OF MY SHIRT AND BOUNCED UP TOWARD MY EYEBALLS...I PUT ON A JACKET AFTER THAT)

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School picture and the piano man
12.18.2008 - comments

Brandons first school picture. I want to know who this guy was and how in the fuck he got my kid to smile like this. Seriously after Christmas, once everyone has seen the card and the pictures I'm going to post the outtakes on here because they are funny shit and none of them, not even the good ones look like the kid above. This picture man, whoever he is, IS A GENIUS! Brandon, like his mom has created his own language. He often comes up with words that he uses normally like they are just...regular old words. He likes to say, "juke." What is a juke? Beats me. He does it whe he is poking you, or tickling you or something. He also loves to say Shawka while making the hang loose sign. Papa taught him that. So, now when he is in trouble I'll say, Brandon why did you do that? He looks at me, thinks for a second and says "shawka" and runs. He has a favorite though. Bawka. Pronounced like Bawk uh. He often says you are a silly bawka. Today he told me I was a silly bawka. Finally I said Brandon what on earth is a Bawka? His reply? "A bawka is a knucklehead mom and you a bawka." Thanks kid! And finally, the piano man! I believe we have the next Billy Joel on our hands

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Possibly Pigtails
12.17.2008 - comments

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to have these dorky short pigtails. Now I have them...and as I expected they make me feel extra dorky, in a good way! Also seriously who gave me photobooth. I swear I will stop taking pictures of myself and posting them here!

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I'm not supposed to blog about it
12.16.2008 - 0 comments

My husband gets all weird when I blog the nice things he does. He says he would rather have me say it to him then the blog. So, I told him thanks which I think means I can blog about it now. Besides it's my blog I can do what I want. Anywho. About a week and a half ago I came in the room and got in bed. I immediately recoiled from the ice cold freezing sheets. Of course this led to me sitting in bed pouting about how I don't have flannel sheets and how poor me my bed is cold. I then suggested to my husband that obviously the simple answer would be for him to just go ahead and warm up my side of the bed for me and then he could go lay on his cold side since it didn't bother him. Y'all the past 4 nights he has done that. I shit you not. I have been staying up a little bit later then him trying to put Codi to bed. Then I go into our room to find Rob laying on my side of the bed snoring. As soon as he hears me he hops on over to his side and I get to slide into some nice warm sheets. It is beautiful I tell you because I love nothing more then WARMTH! Then, this weekend when fucking Jodi had to go and tell me that Linens N Things was having a going out of business sale I casually mentioned to Rob that I had found some flannel sheets on sale for $29.99 all the way down from almost $70.00. He told me to buy them. Those puppies should be here any day! Another cute thing he did. Last week I forgot to start the coffee pot the night before. Who am I kidding. I haven't remembered to start that thing in about 3 months. But I have been getting up and doing it fine in the morning. However once last week when he knew I had, had a particularly long night he woke up extra early got it all ready and as he walked out the door he said, "coffee's ready just gotta push the button." Oh yeah you bet I jumped right up and ran over to get some! It was just so extra sweet. How about how he's been making the cutest effort to open my door every time we go somewhere together. Seriously people it's the sweetest shit I've ever seen. I've never been big on all that chivalry stuff but when he does it I totally melt. And yesterday, he left a little early so he could go out and wipe all the snow off my windows and get my car all ready for me. Saturday I was going somewhere in his car. With out even knowing it he started it, turned on the heater and had it all ready and warm before I even got in. Last week I woke up to find a card hiding in my closed laptop from him. It was so sweet saying that he loved me and that he loved my new hair too! You know, sometimes I may want to totally kick my husbands ass, but most times he really puts a smile on my face! Finally my favorite thing he's been doing lately. He's been making a huge huge effort not to fart in front of me. Especially not at the dinner table anymore! But you know, before you all think I got sick and mushy on you I didn't. I just ran out of things to talk about and figured why not talk about him. And it's not like I was telling you the blue sani hut water story, or the army crawl story I was just telling sweet stuff. You want to hear some really romantic stuff? Last night we cuddled up on the couch and watched an infomercial about colons. Yes. I sat next to my husband and watched him get all giddy over a 6 foot long black poop that some miracle pills make you do and how much he REALLY REALLY WANTS A 6 FOOT BLACK POOP OF HIS OWN! So, yeah. Then there is that! This is one of the Christmas pictures that didn't make the card. We have an even better pic together that I will show you when our cards come in!

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boy the first vs. boy the second
2.11.2008 - 10 comments

Both boys are 2.75 months [img]http://bp0.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R7BkMV4lwhI/AAAAAAAADxo/_MpumEEjIbc/s400/DSCN4878.JPG[/img] [img]http://bp2.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R7Bj614lwgI/AAAAAAAADxg/gqBCh9NOfow/s400/DSCF0571.JPG[/img]

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The Boys
2.9.2008 - comments

[video]http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=676642&server=www.vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=[/video]

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Bye, I have more important things to do
2.9.2008 - comments

See that...Know what that means? [img]http://bp2.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R64ZzV4lwaI/AAAAAAAADww/n24D74C2vtQ/s400/DSCN4844.jpg[/img] It means [img]http://bp0.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R64Zz14lwbI/AAAAAAAADw4/mICL6HHICyg/s400/DSCN4843.jpg[/img] I don't have time for blogging, I must go ride my bike now [img]http://bp1.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R64Z0F4lwcI/AAAAAAAADxA/j9y30BC29A4/s400/DSCN4842.jpg[/img] See you later suckers!

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Just Another Day at Work
2.8.2008 - comments

[img]http://bp3.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R6zlJ39qfvI/AAAAAAAADwg/CdtjnowCwdw/s400/2243923181_929cd56c80.jpg[/img] [img]http://bp2.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R6zlKn9qfwI/AAAAAAAADwo/u08_WN8fnvM/s400/2244712630_629f509490.jpg[/img] CHECK OUT MY LITTLE FLICKR WIDGET OVER THERE ---------> TO SEE ALL THE FUN THINGS WE DO AT WORK AND HOME!

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Current Affairs
2.8.2008 - comments

Okay this post is getting bullets. • Thing one. Monday we went to visit a friend in a hospital. It was a mental type hospital. I say this so that you can understand how awesome it was when Brandon pulled the fire alarm. Yeah! I was in the back visiting my friend and my mom was up front watching the kids. I'm in my friends room when all the sudden sirens go off and lights start flashing. Suddenly the nurse in charge shouts EVERYONE OUT OF THEIR ROOMS NOW! So we go in the hall where the make us all stand against the wall and they then go and lock everyones room so no one can get back in. We have no clue what is going on, it could be anything. All we know is it is a CODE RED and it could be someone trying to escape, a fire, something else we had no clue. As this is happening my mom is calling me but since phones aren't allowed back there I don't answer. She is frantically calling and calling so finally I turn around and answer and I hear, "Brandon just pulled the fire alarm." FUCK! I tell the nurse, "umm, my two year old just pulled the alarm you have to let me out." So they have to escort me out three locked doors to where I finally get out and see my son screaming FIRE MONSTER FIRE MONSTER I MAKE FIRE I MAKE FIRE! Nice huh! • Tuesday I had to go to social security to try and get a receipt for Codi with his social security number on it so I could file my taxes. Then I find out that I can't get a receipt because they can't find him. So I go down the the health department to get his birth certificate. This is a big complex. There are about 4-5 buildings that kind of form a circle and there is a giant courtyard in the middle. So I get to the one with the health department in it and realize I have to find an ATM for cash since I used my last check and they don't take debit. I'm in building C and the ATM is down around E. So I set off walking. I get to the ATM and realize I am now right next to building A which is where you change your voter registration. I never changed my address and I figured since I was there I should. I went in and changed my address and while doing so Codi had a melt down. So I readjusted Codi and set off on my way to the health department. I got in, go the birth certificate and made it back to my car which was by building D. SHIT! I had no keys. I had set them down over in building A when Codi was fussing. So off I went back to building A for my keys. I finally made it to my car and head to social security. Okay so this was Tuesday which is the 5th. I guess that social security checks are mailed on the 3rd so you are never supposed to go down there around this time. I did not know this till after I get there. So I go in there is a full waiting room and I take a number. I'm number 158 they are currently serving number 78. I go stand outside to escape the cigarette dirty body smell. Out front I find myself surrounded by Reno's finest. I love standing outside with a bunch of people who are angry about their social security checks that they aren't getting, and the only reason they are on social security is because they are lazy. But not only that I had to listen to them talk about how awesome they are/were. Like the guy who weighed close to 300 pounds or more but was bragging about his high school football days and how he was so good Notre Dame wanted to give him a full ride but he chose not to because he is really intelligent like that. Then there was the guy who just really needed some McDonalds and then sat down their talking about how he ain't waiting in no dang line he was gonna go right in there and tell them where to shove it. Three hours later he was still out there bitching about his babies mama and how he maybe really isn't the dad but could be. Then there was the couple who looked like they should really be nominated for the Biggest Loser couples edition who were so hungry they decided to walk to McDonalds while waiting for their number. Part of me was proud of them for walking but then I thought, "But they are walking to McDonalds for burgers hmmmm." Then there were the pregnant moms smoking. The young broke couples there who just wanted their checks cuz they were broke yet they were covered in expensive tattoos and piercings and could still afford a couple packs of cigarettes. It always flabergasts me how you can be broke but afford a tattoo! Anyway halfway through I called the hospital and was informed that Social Security wouldn't be able to find Codi because the vital statistics office was 3 months behind in sending them the info. In fact they had just mailed them the October births. OOOOH Okay thanks for letting me know that assholes. When my number is finally called they inform me that if I process this now it will delay the whole thing another 10 weeks since the two will cross in the mail. In the end they said wait two weeks then start calling social security every day to see if Codi has been input then I can go get my receipt with his number. So to recap I spent 4 hours with the worlds most awesome rejects to accomplish nothing, while starving and watching a bunch of broke people eat expensive fast food! • [link=http://babbaunknown.blogspot.com/]Babba[/link] apparantly got spammed also. Here is her questions.. What is more important to you. The relationship you have with Rob or your kids??? This is hard. I think they both have priorities in different aspects. But to be honest I think since my kids are so young, the answer would be them. Later on in life, when they are older and all they want to do is rebel, well thats when Rob and I can be each others priority. But now, in the moment, raising two functioning kids is the clear winner. Most husbands often go through a period where they feel neglected or forgotten. Its in most parenting books, and most parenting classes say the same. It is impossible for a new mom to give the same attention to their husbands. My husband will be the first to say that yes he felt neglected when both boys were born, but it gets better. It does! What takes priority and comes first in your life??? Umm I think this is sort of the same question so I will reiterate my first answer. For me, raising two kids who are smart, and social, and have great lives is more important then having sex every night and going to bars with my husband or going to clubs. Rob and I still have sex, and we still go out for dinners but right now the majority of my life is spent for my kids. Rob and I will have time in our golden years for each other. So right now its about stealing kisses when we can and cuddles at night and holding hands on the couch. You figure it all out eventually, but putting my kids first was a decision I made the second my first was born! • For Lent Rob decided that he would allow me to make him a vegetable every day for 40 days. This is huge because Robs only veggies are, potatoes, corn and iceberg lettuce. I have worked asparagus into his life but that is it. This is huge for me. I love cooking stuff and took sheer pleasure out of watching him eat roasted chicken with spinach last night. For Lent I gave up all drinks that weren't clear plain water, Hot green tea and coffee. I am miserable. I need flavored water. I need iced tea. I need carbonation. This is like kicking a crack habit for me. So as I took total joy in watching Rob force down his spinach he was getting as much joy watching me choke down my plain water!

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1000 and a half
2.6.2008 - comments

K so! My email hates me. It keeps spamming things. So! If you have emailed me and I don't reply within an hour (yeah I'm fast like that) send me a comment and I will be all over that. I just found this in my Spam box. [link=http://emeryjo.blogspot.com/]Emery[/link] asked: 1. What is your biggest triumph? Wow! I don't know if I have had that yet. I think ask me in 30 years. That way I can see how my kids turn out. Because I truly believe that if I can raise well adjusted kids who live happy and healthy lives then that will be my biggest triumph. I feel like my whole life mission is simply to be a mom so if I complete that mission then I will have triumphed! 2. What is your biggest regret? Regret. To be honest I'm not sure there is much I regret. While there are things I wish I hadn't done I am one of those super dorky people who truly believe that everything begats everything. Meaning if I hadn't lost my virginity to that guy then some how in the long run I never would have married Rob which means I wouldn't have my two amazing children. Yes there are things I wish I hadn't done, (hello orange hair in 8th grade I'm talking to you) but what if I really went back and never did them, would I be sitting here in this moment now? What is that movie, the "Butterfly Effect"? I totally believe in that. P.S. Emery, I was actually really sad I hadn't gotten a question from you and then when I saw yours in my spam folder I was soooooo happy!

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#1000
2.6.2008 - comments

1. [url=http://someonebeingme.blogspot.com/]Someone Being Me[/url] asked: [b]Is there anything that is off limits on your blog? A topic that you will not discuss? You seem so open about everything I was just curious if you draw the line at some things.[/b]I think the only thing that is actually off limits is things directly mentioning families name. In fact there is an entire category of family I just won't talk about. Simply because I never know who reads, and in case they do read, well, it keeps me out of trouble that way. I also don't talk much about sex since my parents sometimes read this and I have a hard time writing it knowing my mom or dad could possibly be reading later about that thing we did in bed last night.2. [url=http://matherspartyof3.blogspot.com/]Mathers[/url] asked: [b]If you had to pick one what would it be: no more chocolate, or no more myspace?[/b]Now now now Cristina my dear. I actually don't do much on Myspace. I go on there once a day to see if anyone is writing me. Then I'm basically done with it. There are a few people who refuse to get normal email so I have to contact them that way. Now if you had said give up chocolate or blogging..that would be a tuffy because blogging is such an amazing outlet for my stressers but chocolate is such a great remedy for those same stressers!3. [url=http://blogversary.blogspot.com/]Blogversary[/url] asked: [b]What is your dream job?[/b]You know, for a while I always thought I would answer being a chef. But I always watch those chefy TV shows and realize there is so much I don't know. While I would love to be Paula Dean I know I don't have the knowledge. So. I think the best way to answer this is to say, at this point in my life, my dream job would be to be a culinary student and later in life be a chef. HOWEVER! I would only want to go to a real culinary school somewhere like France you know, and since I have kids that isn't an option. And if you ask me if I would have waited to have my kids till after school the answer is NO! That's because I'm smart enough to know, had I gotten to the point where I completed school and was well known, chances are I would have not had children, similar to Rachael Ray. So I would rather be a wanna be chef and mom, then a well known chef and not a mom. Umm did any of this make sense?4. [url=http://jenacide.blogspot.com/]Jen[/url] asked: [b]Do you have a favorite child?[/b]Ahhh Jen, you are pure evil. I see you rubbing your hands together with an evil look on your face right now as you ask this! The answer is easy. Brandon is my favorite toddler and Codi is my favorite baby! Ha ha that's an answer right? To be honest right now I love them both the same. I don't think I can really compare the two because I know Brandon in such detail and I'm only still getting to know Codi. Sometimes I have to remember that Codi is so much younger and he is a different baby. I've actually tried to forget when Brandon hit all of his milestones, because he was really advanced. I don't want to spend Codi's whole life comparing him to Brandon so I really try and just look at them both separately. However, you can love the second as much as the first and I love them both so much it makes my whole body hurt!5. [url=http://babymamaelyse.blogspot.com/]Hips.Lips.Mama[/url] asked: [b]Do you fake orgasms with your husband? how often?[/b]Now just to prove to ya'll that I am human, I am totally blushing right now! The answer is NO! I don't. Not with my husband, but yes I have before. But lets be real here, if we were having that kind of problems in bed before we got married, I clearly wouldn't have married him now would I?6. [url=http://ramblingsofheather.blogspot.com/]Heather[/url] asked: [b]What do you think you were most notorious for in high school..one moment everyone will remember?[/b]Now since Heather went to school with me I actually think this a totally loaded question because there is no way you could go to school with me and not answer this!!! But for those of you who didn't go to school with me there is only one obvious answer. I was the girl that everyone thought had sex on the "G". Okay now to elaborate for those of you who don't get that. Here in Nevada we do this hicktastick little thing of painting GIANT letters of mountains for the part of town we are in (this sounds so corny if you don't live here) for example, if you drive by Reno there will be a huge huge "R" on one of the mountains. I believe we have a P for Peavine and D for Damonte and of course a G for Galena, as in Galena High School. Anyway one day before cheer leading practice a friend of mine who I will allow to remain nameless and I walked back to the teachers parking lot to hang out. He wanted to smoke before football and I had a crush on him so I was just tagging along. Well hanging out let do making out and totally fooling around right behind the teachers parking lot. Joes nerves made it so that nothing else could happen besides kissing. Even if we had had the time, or the desire, we couldn't have done more if we wanted. Anyway I went to cheer practice and a friend asked where I was. I had said that I was making out with the guy and as a joke said yeah we were totally fucking on the G. The head cheer leader of the Varsity team (I was a freshman at this time) heard this, and told the coach. The coach then told the principal who told my mom whose first question to me was, "did you come?" Now, a few points of interest. My senior year in PE I got a chance to walk to the "G". It took a full hour to walk there and in fact, for those who didn't run half of it, you couldn't even make it in the hour. The track team claims to have pictures of the event taking place. Interesting since, A: the track team didn't run there and B: Track practice wouldn't have been started yet as it was only 15 minutes after school got out and C: What kind of athlete carries a camera while running up a mountain? Anyway some of you might ask why I didn't just deny it since it wasn't true. Well there is an easy answer to this. I talked to the guy before I was called into the principals office. He thought the whole thing was so funny that ridiculous that no one would actually believe it. We decided to never confirm or deny what happened. When I was called into the principals office they never, not one single time asked me if it happened. Instead they took the word of the head cheer leader and just went with it. It is because of this one moment in school that I lost all faith in the school system, because a good coach or principal would have asked me What if anything happened don't you think? Anyway while the whole thing never happened, and we were only actually gone for 15 minutes, He and I both go down in history as the couple who had sex on the "G". To this day people still ask me and him about it. He and I often run into each other in public and when we do people always look at as and you can tell they are just dying to ask. My favorite part is that people from other schools heard that "someone" did that and I love when they ask me, if I knew the girl who had sex on the "G"! I thin I'm going to email him right now and have a laugh with him about all of this.7. [url=http://memoryloss.blogspot.com/]Amnesia[/url] asked: [b]What is the hardest time you have had in your marriage? What got you there? What was your darkest hour? And what got you out of it?[/b]Wow! This is a great question. While my marriage isn't perfect, because none are, I don't honestly know if we have had anything that fills this category yet. It's only been 3 years and I think the itch comes around 7 right? There are plenty of things we do to get on each others nerves, and damn we push each other buttons but I'm not real sure there have been those awful times. Wait, I take that back. There was one time during both pregnancies where I got really evil and demonic and tried to throw him out, for reasons like, he didn't come to bed at the right time. You know, very important stuff. I think mainly our biggest problems now are, me wondering how on earth he gets toothpaste splatters on the mirror so damn soon after I clean it, and him wondering how on earth I get so many crumbs on the floor!8. [url=http://eramblings.wordpress.com/]Heidi[/url] asked: [b]What do you do when you want to wear flip flops? Do you not wear pants that day?[/b]This was her question asked in response to me having to put my socks on before my pants. The answer is NO DORK I don't put my flip flops on before my pants. However, I looove flip flops and I loathe shoes which is why this snow is agitating the fuck out of me. When I do wear shoes I prefer Vans with no laces!9. [url=http://ipromisenottolaughduringtheseance.blogspot.com/]Laura[/url] asked: [b]Tell us your worst OMG Aunt Flo is here and I'm unprepared moment. You know you have one.[/b]I soooo have one! It was my first one. I think I was about 12ish. My mom and my cousin and I drove down to Sacramento for the weekend. We stayed at the Holiday Inn on Date Ave (I still stay there). Anyway we were in the hotel room and I was wearing this swirly pastel spandex (yes spandex) pants. My mom suddenly looks down at me and is like OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT! I looked down and my pastel pants were RED!!!!! All the sudden everyone starts jumping around the room shouting OH MY GOSH YOU GOT YOUR PERIOD. So I flip out and now that I see the blood I feel cramps. I jump out of the pants and undies and my mom throws them in the toilet (????) Then since we were totally unprepared she tells me to sit on the toilet. So I'm sitting on the toilet and my mom calls room service and somehow convinces one of the employees to go to the gift shop and buy me a bag of pads. I spent the rest of the trip in pain and the whole car ride laying in the back whining. Sooo embarrassing that I didn't even know it had happened I just sat there bleeding on myself!10. [url=http://arambledlife.wordpress.com/]Jessa[/url] asked: [b]What book could you read again and again without getting sick of it?[/b]To be totally honest I have yet to find THE BOOK! When I was younger I would have said [link=http://www.amazon.com/Wind-Blows-Backward-Mary-Downing/dp/0380775301]this book[/link]. In fact I still love this book and have read it bajillions of times. For now, I would say old issues of Everyday with Rachael Ray would be my favorites to reread. I'm such a nerd!11. [url=http://sarahewho.blogspot.com/]imoveforward[/url] asked: [b]How long have you been writing? Do you write other things besides your blog?[/b]Hmmm. I've been writing forever. Since I can remember. I started out just writing in journals. Writing a lot of poetry and seriously ya'll if I can locate some of those books I'm shameless enough that I will totally post some of my trash for you. When I moved out I started a computer journal and then about 2.5 years ago I started blogging on Yahoo 360. I stumbled upon Emerys blog on Blogger and loved it so much I moved. I also blog [url=http://phatsophotos.blogspot.com/]here[/url] and [url=http://tasteytemptations.blogspot.com/]here[/url]! I also have a blog that I write to each of my sons (which I really need to update). Those links are on my current blog called Letters to (insert childs name here). And finally I have a private blog about Rob and I's love story. It is private because it talks a lot about sex and boys and what not and I got all nervous that my parents would read it and my dad would be like SHE WAS DOING WHAT WITH WHO!12. [url=http://fragmentedsentences.blogspot.com/]Shawna[/url] asked ( a lot): [b]Do you remember when you realized you were different?[/b]There has never been a time I didn't know I was crazy![b]Different/Crazy in what way?[/b]I always just knew that I got sad and withdrawn more, and that not everyone was as open as me.[b]Have you ever diagnosed yourself?[/b]YES! I have mild OCD, and I'm bi-polar. I've been A LOT of other things over the years, seriously taking a bunch of psych classes in college totally fucks with your head.[b]Have you ever been professionally diagnosed?[/b]Yes with bi-polar disorder.[b]Have you ever seeked professional help?[/b]Yeah twice. The first time when I was younger and the second time when I first started dating Rob. Neither time helped. It didn't help because being bi-polar, I come out of my hole. That means seeing a counselor was useless during those times of good, and during the times of bad, I wouldn't go because I didn't want help, I wanted to be destructive. Also they all felt condescending and judgmental and rude and like they were bored and only there for the money.[b]I know you currently don?t but have you ever taken prescription meds? Did they help? Not help? (I totally understand not wanting to take meds)[/b]Yeah the only one I agreed to try was Sarafem which is for PMDD. They said if I took it, it would help with the bi-polar disorder. I thought it was retarded and took a few classes in college and learned that I was in control of my own destiny.[b]How do your loved ones handle your ?craziness?? (i.e. Rob , mom, dad (step dad), friends)[/b]Ummm, first my "dad" (sperm doner) is who gave me this shit but he wasn't around long enough to know. The rest of my family didn't really know because I hid it. I didn't want to be the weird one or the bad one or whatever. Now, they kinda just let me be who I be![b]Do you know the people/person that gave you the date rape drug?[/b]The time that you are talking about he was the son of the head of a church camp I went to. Another time my cousin and I got dosed by some football players but by the grace of God got out of there and I only ended up running over her mail box (twice) before passing out in my car on the side of McCarran![b]Do you feel in control of your ?craziness??[/b]Until I go crazy![b]Do you realize when you are being crazy at the time you are being it? Or is it in retrospect? Or after someone has brought it to your attention?[/b]I totally realize it. I realize it mostly because I almost encourage it. Like I get sad and go away in my head and then I will do stupid shit like pull out pictures and letters from my dead grandma to see just how sad I can get. Or like the time I wisely went to the Coronor and got a copy of my dads death certificate?????? Yes I am very very aware of when I am there, it is because of that I am also able to hide it so well.[b]Do you think you are crazy by circumstance or genetics? (like a chemical imbalance) I remember reading about your dad and grandma and realize at an early age you lost some very important people in your life, after reading what you wrote yesterday I realize you have other devastating circumstances that occurred in your life, do you think these things attributed to the crazies, or caused it?[/b]I think it is both. It is safe to say a good portion of my dads side of the family is batshit crazy and a pretty good portion of my moms side also has some interesting quirks. However, I think my dad being a selfish prick and killing himself really opened the flood gates of crazy especially because not many 12 year olds know how to comprehend suicide and it took a lot of crazy to realize how I really felt about that. But to be totally honest I think I've always been crazy and I think I'll always be crazy!!13. [url=http://snapeamommy.blogspot.com/]Mrs. F[/url] and [url=http://pixiedustlife.blogspot.com/]Angie[/url] both want to know: [b]When you say you disappear into a dark place...what does that feel like? Is it like a place you remember going (not a real place but you know) or is it just like a black out kind of?[/b]Sigh. I really don't know how to describe this. You know that commercial with the guy walking around with a rain cloud over his head that follows him? It's kind of like that. It's like suddenly everywhere I or step or look feels miserable. I hate how I look (this is when I pick my face the most), I hate how I feel and since I often go there for no reason I start looking for reasons. I'm still here, I don't envision dark scary places or anything, it just feels as though there is a shadow over my day and sometimes the shadow closes in on me and sort of swaddles me in its darkness until I feel like I can barely breath anymore and I just want to sit in a corner and cry. My husband has found me there before, sitting in a corner by my bed crying for no reason. However I found a reason. See, I was going there, I was headed to the rain cloud and I needed a reason (I like to have reasons it makes me feel less crazy) so I picked a fight with him. The fight made me snap and the next thing I knew I was just crying. This leads to me suddenly crying about being fat, ugly, poor, stupid, a bad mom, missing my grandma and on and on and on and on. I think I find every reason possible to cry until I've used it all up and then I just sit there numb. I kind of turn on auto pilot. I drive myself to work, I work and I come home. But the whole time it feels like I need an inhaler because the pressure of the world crushes my whole entire body. There are songs that send me there instantly and places and faces and books and things I've written. I used to spend hours and hours and hours in my bedroom with my Christmas lights on and a Tupac song on repeat just writing poem after poem after poem trying to work my way out of my hole. The only thing is that I self destruct as I do it. I pick music that makes it impossible to be happy. I write things that make light seem so far off. I dredge up old memories making it easier to slip into my hole and make it feel like maybe I really do belong there.14. [url=http://fragmentedsentences.blogspot.com/]Shawna[/url] also asked: [b]What is your favorite post you have ever written out of the 1,000?[/b]I don't have favorites. I like them all. Although the recent post about eating shit in the snow was a good one![b]Which post has received the most comments?[/b]31 comments the day Codi was born. You all suck at commenting I happen to know I have over 100 people visit here each day and I get a lousy 31 comments. SHAME ON YOU![b]Is there a post you wish you would have never written?[/b]No, I don't think so, because if I hadn't have written em all I would have probably exploded with diarrhea of the mouth onto my friends and then they would egg my car!15. [url=http://incubationnation.blogspot.com/]Saly[/url] wants to know: [b]How I got so into cooking?[/b]NO CLUE! It is in my blood I think. Also, I like to eat food taste good, it makes me happy and I think I have an urge to make those I love happy (like my husband) so I really enjoy cooking knowing what I make will make you smile. I truly believe that if you cook food with love in your heart, and you put passion into it, it will taste amazing. The nights I'm tired and in a hurry and I don't stop to love my food, those are the nights I warn Rob ahead that it's totally okay if he wants to dump the meal and go to KFC!Saly also wanted to know: [b]Your posts suggest that you have zero boundaries. I want to know if you are the same in your every day life, and if so, how did you get to be the way that you are (which clearly, is awesome).[/b]I decided rather then answer this on my own I would ask the three friends who have known me the longest and know me the best. Because after all, I could answer this and totally lie since it's my own blog, you would never know right. So instead I wanted to make sure you got the truth from those who know my truth! Here are their answers![i]Lisa[/i] said: Yup basically the exact same! Only difference is you have to imagine the stuff you blog about is only a couple minutes out of your day. So the bluntness, and dorkiness is EXTREMELY magnified when you have 24/7 Shannon. You have ALWAYS had no problem telling a complete stranger all of your business down to every detail. So you having a blog just makes sense. It kind of also gives us a break from the stupid, I mean unusual, thoughts that happen to run thru your head. Instead of getting a phone call every time your sons poop changes colors, now I only get half the calls and get to read about the other half online.[i]Katie[/i] said: Mmmm, lets see is Shannon the same in real-life? I would have to say yes ? definitely! Shannon has always been pretty open with her life and she is a talker, so her blog gives her the opportunity to meet and talk to a whole other community of friends.[i]Ginger[/i] said: Ha, I love that someone would even ask that. I mean really, would you share with complete strangers that you hate it when your so cold that your pee burns you if you wouldn't share that with your dearest friends. If you could even consider that i would be sincerely hurt. Ok, I am going to type the rest of this like I am talking about you behind your back to your blog readers...Shannon and Rob are exactly like that she describes, totally in love but get in 'fights' about the stupidest stuff...not that I would really consider half of their 'fights' really fights...and it still baffles me when they send each other text messages from across the living room (probably talking about their guests so they can talk about them behind their backs, right in front of their faces!).And really, I'm not kidding about Shannon calling you up or sending you a text message to tell her that she is so cold her pee just burned her...that is if she isn't calling you for help to lift her off the floor and drag her to the bathroom because she is laughing so hard at something she migth pee her pants if she tried to stand up on her own...but that only happened once. Or twice. Or, well, maybe a few more times.Her adversion to hugs and touchy touchyness is completely true. A while back, when she was pregnant with Codi, me and (I think) her cousin were going out (maybe for Rob's b-day) and she had him take a picture off all of us with our hands on her belly. I was so uncomfortable that i think I may have levitated my hand over her belly without really touching it because that's just not how Shannon is, she is so not a "let's hug and here, rub my pregnant belly" kind of person. But she makes up for her lack of touchy touchyness by doing silly things like buying you an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins that consists of exactly 1 scoop of ice cream and about 10lbs of icing all because you mention on your blog that you want an ice cream cake, but that you only want to eat the frosting off of it.And her passionate obsession with good food really is something to marvel at. I've known Shannon for a long time. As she started talking about recently, she had some issues with food in the past. And let's not even go into her mom's severe aversion to using salt on ANYTHING (so weird, I just don't get it, I mean I don't by any means over use salt but salt really does make food taste better). Shannon and i went through a period of a few years were we didn't really see each other (I tried to break up with her) and when we finally got back together she suddenly was this foodie. This Wusthof obsessed foodie. I absolutely love this about her now because I am a total foodie as well (or want-to-be-foodie anyways). And, while I've never seen her have an orgasm (thank god, that would be awkward), the only way to describe her reaction to a great dessert or, well, a good bowl of ice cream, is like a mini-food orgasm (or foodgasm). On that note, she really does say words in real life like dudealicious and her use of the word uber is really spectacular (if you could call it that).And she really does have her dark side, and her messy past, but you guys probably all know that from reading her blog.And finally, yes, her kids REALLY are as cute as they seem and she really is as great of a mom as she seems. And her obsession with finding the perfect diaper bag really was a little over the top. And she really does elict slave labor from her friends to paint her newborns room. And she really does brag about anything she possibly can because, as she states it "It hurts being this awesome."Ok, so that was so much longer than I thought it would be but if you are posting it on your blog it's got to be good, right?I decided to ask my husband ([i]Rob[/i]) too and here is what he said: i think that shannon is the same as in her blog as in her life to a point. she does cuss the same amount...lol. shes fun and crazy, but she is also much more reserve. i think that when she writes, shes the crazy shannon that she will always be. but because shes a mother of 2 she cant be. she has her moments tho..lol

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#999
2.5.2008 - comments

I'm pooped from answering all your questions. So tomorrow remind me to tell you how I spent today with the highest quality of people down at the social security department and the health department. And then go ahead and ask me just why it is my son won't stop saying he wants to see the fire monster again. Go ahead, ask, I dare you!

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#998
2.4.2008 - comments

Yes ya'll thats what number post I'm actually on. Sorry some of you thought #1000 was coming like ten days ago. But I knew I had to announce it early to give all of you LAGGERS time to submit questions. I've only got about 10 so far, and a couple of em are doozies (you know who you are). One of them is such a doozie in fact that I really can't wait to answer it minus the whole, my dad reads this site thing, but alas I will answer it. Anyway I am aiming to post 1000 on Wednesday because that is what day [url=http://www.pyropoptrt.com/]Lee[/url] promises me my new site will be launched (Lee I'm giving you a stern IT BETTER BE READY LOOK!). So that means from now until Wednesday you will only get one more post before 1000 so as to stay on track. Anyway on to last night. I went to bed after Superbowl with my belly full of about 2 pounds of spinach dip and about 4 pounds of cookies. Around 3am I had a dream. I dreamt that Rob and I were in his home town with the kids. We got in some kind of fight and he left with some other girl. He ended up leaving an outgoing message on his voicemail that said something along the lines of, "today is the saddest day ever, I have decided to leave my wife and be with "girl" and I'm sorry." I was devastated and calling his mom and everyone trying to find him. I was driving everywhere with our kids in the back and I was just bawling. It was really so sad. I finally woke myself up out of the dream and reached over for him. HE WASN'T THERE. I sat up in a panic thinking maybe he really had left and divorced me. I was seriously on the verge of tears but then I remembered hat just a few minutes before that he had gotten up to settle Brandon when he woke up. Seconds later Rob was back in bed and everything was fine. I hate when that happens. I don't understand how dreams can be so vivid you wake up feeling as though they really happened. There have been so many times where I dreamed Rob was cheating and I woke up wanting to beat the shit out of him. Last night I had my annual Superbowl party. It went great. There was so much food and I think I ate enough food to feel 9 months pregnant again. Superbowl is my Thanksgiving. It's the one day a year where I just lose all control and eat as much fat as I can cram on one slice of bread. We won't even talk about how many cookies I ate! A couple other kids came over and one of them was a boy. I think Brandon had the best day of his life running around and playing. It was so nice for him to have a boy over who he could actually act like a boy with. You know do all that boy stuff like smash each other in the face with toys, trip each other, wrestle and so on. Seriously the two were in heaven. But then I got a glimpse into my future. See the second boy was a little younger then Brandon, that means he is easily coerced. So I walk into Brandons room after it's been quiet to long and I see Brandon up on top of his dresser grabbing books of the shelf (he is not supposed to do this) and then quickly passing the books down the Jake the other boy below. They had a system worked out. All the sudden I knew what I was in for. I could just see Brandon climbing to the tippy top of my pantry and passing the marshmallows one by one down to Codi and then both boys running away. As much fun as Brandon had yesterday, well I have to say it made me tired just thinking of the future. And from the looks of Codi's belly, this kid is going to have no problem partaking in cookie stealing adventures! [img]http://bp2.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R6cvU39qe4I/AAAAAAAADpo/T4nLL9c846I/s400/DSCN4775.jpg[/img] 1ST DOWN!!! [img]http://bp3.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R6cvVH9qe5I/AAAAAAAADpw/hv3ks9XPLLk/s400/DSCN4753.jpg[/img] I! DON'T! LIKE! LIMES! MOM! OOPS!

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Let me see the Tootsie Roll aka losing whatever Rad factor I had left
2.1.2008 - comments

While guest posting over at [url=http://gingersblog-thatkindofgirl.blogspot.com/]That Kind of Girl[/url], I got to thinking about some music I really miss. You know, back in my parents day they had a lot of good music. Meaning a lot of their music is stuff we still listen to. For instance, Guns N Roses, Tom Petty, Aerosmith, The Stones and so on. My grandparents music however, not so much. I kind of get the feeling my era of music is going to fall in the realm of not so much. While I can't imagine anything by Tupac not still being totally dudealicious (one of my favorite words shut up along with badical and babeolicious) when I'm 40 I can see how my kids could think I was out of my damn mind for ever liking rap. But seriously, how could Tupac ever not be the greatest? It got me thinking of songs that I will dearly miss rocking out to. Songs that make me want to go grab my CDS and bust out in some sexy dancing poses. [img]http://bp0.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R6PtSX9qezI/AAAAAAAADo8/jziM46ad0oQ/s200/Photo+82.jpg[/img] Dancing Queen [img]http://bp2.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R6PtS39qe0I/AAAAAAAADpE/Eu2I5HQxp2A/s200/Photo+83.jpg[/img] Back that ass up [img]http://bp3.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R6PtTH9qe1I/AAAAAAAADpM/-euSC0I0CKk/s200/Photo+84.jpg[/img] Reserved for Biggie songs Biggie Biggie Biggie can't you see, sometimes your words just hypnotize me I will really miss the Tootsie Roll Anything Tupac Most Biggie Stuff The Flaming Lips (she uses vasaleeeene) New Kids on th Block (Step One one one) MC Hammer (I was 2 legit 2 quit) ((I know the hand gestures for that song)) Candlebox Debbie Gibson (not Deborah) Tiffany (runnin just as fast as we can now) Bush Blink 182 Smashing Pumpkins The Cranberries (salami salami, oops I mean zombie zombie) Fuel Lit But no matter how cool all my music was, one thing is going to ruin it all for the hopes of my generation ever being cool again. The Macaraina (shudder) If I had a tri pod I think I would actually put on these CDs (yes I own all of those) and film myself doing my awesome dances for you all to see. Instead you have to settle on my fantastic pics up there. Raise the roof raise the roof. In other news I think I forgot to post this conversation that took place between me and my husband the other day. (Might not be verbatim I lost the IM but it will be very close). Rob: You are such a dork Me: No I'm totally hip Rob: Saying hip really ruins that Me: You mean I just negated my own hipness Rob: Yes but I love you even if you are a dork. Come on ya'll am I really that unhip? I have to say this entire post isn't making a strong case for maintaining my rad factor. Also I've gotten a few questions, some pretty normal, some funny and a couple pretty brave interesting ones for my 1000th. I must say I really expected more prying and juicy, funny, gag inducing questions from my readers. I mean, you all read me which means you must have some kind of gutter mind in there, I expect you guys to summon all that gutter mind when asking questions.

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Read this whole thing with a snobby British accent
1.30.2008 - comments

Hi. You know that scene in A Christmas Story when Ralphy is turning in his paper and he starts visioning the teachers reaction. She is so happy and jumping around declaring it the best thing ever? That is basically how a lot of what goes on in my head is. You see I'll be sitting at my desk or in bed or changing a diaper or sitting on the think tank when suddenly an idea for a post will come to me. It will be hilarious. I'll giggle to my self and say in my snobby British accent ah ha ha ha that is mauuuuvaless. I'll write half of it in my head, pausing at the parts I know you will all laugh at. I'll giggle and wonder to myself why in the hell I'm not famous for this blog shit yet. I'll anticipate the enormous amount of comments I am going to get. Then I'll wipe, flush and walk away and poof. ITS GONE. It's at this time that you get blogs like this. Total and utter trash. It's like I'mt sitting here wondering how in the fuck you guys even read me when I'm typing about fucking wiping? Tonight after dinner the husband and I were unloading the dishwasher together. I put one of the plates away and a tiny chip went flying. I picked it up off the floor and apparently threw it in the sink. Why? I dunno, your guess is as good as mine. Thats not the funny part though. The funny part is just seconds later, SECONDS PEOPLE my husband said, "babe did you just throw that on the floor?" I was like NO! He's like "where did you put it?" I was like in the trash duh. He looked at me like I had lost my fucking mind and said, "the trash huh, you put it in the trash?" I thought about it, looked on the floor to be sure and then said yup! He just stared at me. I didn't get it. Then I turned looked in the sink and said, "hmm guess I threw it in the sink." More staring. Then he was "like seriously you thought you threw it in the trash?" I was like yeah guess I forgot? Ya'll I thought he was going to pass out from sheer confusion right then and there. Yeah, in a matter of about 4 seconds I actually forgot that I threw the plate chip in the sink. In fact, I think I actually didn't forget I just plain didn't know I did it. 20 minutes later he was still shaking his head at me, totally stunned. I guess I've confirmed what he already knew, his wife has totally lost her damn marbles. You know, I think 10 years from now when I'm nice and thin I will be able to thank my kids. Know why? Because right now I don't have anything naughty to eat in my house. And if it wasn't for the fact that I really don't want to wake up, dress and load up two kids, put them in the car, get them out of the car, drag them in the store and then back home you can bet my ass would be out the door so fast to go and grab a jar of hot fudge sauce and a jumbo spoon. If I didn't have kids the oly thing that would slow me down would be waiting for the microwave to ding letting me know my fudge was now warm. This also mean that when my kids are older I'll be able to ask them if they know how many fudge dunked spoons I gave up for their well being and precious sleep. I'm watching a commercial for some new show where kids and their dads compete in Fear Factor like competitions. Let me just say if that was kids and moms, me and my kids would be broke fools! Pick up a scorpion for a million bucks, no thanks I'm sure we will all be able to live comfortably in a nice cardboard box. Shove my hands in a bucket of spiders? Ehh I don't mind eating Spam for eternity. How about you, would you be able to win Fear Factor? Would you eat 5 pounds of horse intestine for a million? Actually what would you do for a million dollars? Did you know I have to put my socks on before my pants? This poses quite the problem when I wake up warm and decide to forgo socks then later decide I want them. I am faced with a choice. Do I actually take my pants off, put socks on and then put pants back on? Or do I just put the damn socks on and spend hours feeling annoyed that I didn't do it right? Usually I just change my whole outfit so then I feel justified putting the damn socks on. Okay well I have to pee. That means I'll be thinking in my snotty British accent. Last chance for questions. Next post is 1000. Remember you can ask me anything. You can ask about my first kiss, my favorite this or that, things I did in school. Go ahead ask me anything. I dare you to make me laugh or blush!

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Lunch Break Treats
1.29.2008 - comments

I'm sitting here on my lunch break at work eating some boring beans and browsing online for some new books to buy. I finally settled on these. I'm in desperate need of some new things to read, seems like I got stuck in a rut there. So here is what I'm going to pick up today after work. [img]http://bp1.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5-CWn9qekI/AAAAAAAADnE/HjiiZlVICwo/s400/13648571.JPG[/img] [b]Oprah Book Club® Selection, May 2000:[/b] In her still startling debut, [i]The Good Mother[/i], Sue Miller explored the premium we put on passion--and the terrible burden it places on a mother and child. Her fourth novel, [i]While I Was Gone[/i], is another study in familial crime and punishment. But this time, her wife and good mother is accessory to more than emotional malfeasance. Jo Becker has everything a woman could desire: a loving spouse, contented children, and a nice dog or two. When her New England veterinary practice takes on a new client, however, her past comes back to haunt her. Long ago, it seems, Jo had escaped her family and identity for a commune in Cambridge. Her Aquarian illusions came to an abrupt, bloody end when one of her housemates was brutally murdered. Now this unhappy era returns in the person of Eli Mayhew, who had been the odd man out in Jo's boho household. His appearance is both tantalizing and upsetting: "Inside, I slowed down. I felt numbed. I had two last patients, and then I told Beattie to go home, that I'd close up.... I refiled the last charts, sprayed and wiped the examining table. I reviewed my list of routine surgeries for Wednesday. All the while I was thinking of Eli Mayhew, and of Dana and Larry and Duncan and me, and our lives in the house. Of the horrible way it had all ended. [img]http://bp3.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5-CXH9qelI/AAAAAAAADnM/y4fozH_eKdo/s400/13262087.JPG[/img] Relationships are brought to the limit in Delinsky's splendid latest exploration of family dynamics. On a rainy night, Deborah Monroe and her teenage daughter, Grace, are driving home when their car hits a man. The victim, who turns out to be Grace's history teacher, is unconscious but alive. Although Grace was driving, Deborah sends her home and takes responsibility for the accident when the cops show up. Deborah is juggling a lot: as a family doctor, she is in private practice with her über-demanding widower father, who is trying to hide a drinking problem; her son, Dylan, is vision impaired; her mother's death continues to affect the family; Deborah is still dealing with her ex-husband's new, separate life; and her unmarried sister, Jill, has just announced she's pregnant. Grace's guilt about not taking responsibility for the accident makes her withdraw from friends and family, and the accident victim turns out to have a more complex private life than anyone imagined. The author seamlessly resolves relationship issues without sentiment, throws in a promising romance for Deborah and offers a redemptive scene between Grace and her grandfather. [img]http://bp3.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5-CXH9qemI/AAAAAAAADnU/2AgddU5ZlAw/s400/13611541.JPG[/img] Sex, lies, crushed dreams and slot machines are paramount in McGinniss's flashy, fast-moving debut. Chase is a struggling artist who couldn't hack NYU and moves back to Vegas, where he is reunited with his adolescent flame, Michele. After being fired from his teaching job for beating up a student, Chase plans to hook up with his girlfriend, Julia, in California, but instead spends his summer as a chauffeur for Michele's call-girl business. Michele has plans for herself (buying a house, getting an advanced degree in women's studies), but for the time being is running the call-girl service out of a suite in the Versailles Palace Hotel and Casino with her boyfriend, Bailey. Girls too young for the job, readily available cocaine, untrustworthy business partners, memories of a family tragedy and glammed-out Vegas goons make Chase's summer more stressful than he had hoped for as he attempts to finish a few paintings for a group gallery show. The novel is action-packed, though the character development?particularly with the women?is sometimes superficial. McGinniss (son of another Joe McGinnis you may have heard of) successfully gambles with the notion that whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but what does that mean for Chase and his plans to escape? [img]http://bp2.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5-CN39qefI/AAAAAAAADmc/UwZq5aStaPE/s1600-h/13675088.JPG[/img] Andrés Faulques, a world-renowned war photographer, has retired to a life of solitude on the Spanish coast. On the walls of a tower overlooking the sea, he spends his days painting a huge mural that pays homage to history?s classic works of war art and that incorporates a lifetime of disturbing images. One night, an unexpected visitor arrives at Faulques? door and challenges the painter to remember him. As Faulques struggles to recall the face, the man explains that he was the subject of an iconic photo taken by Faulques in a war zone years ago. ?And why have you come looking for me?? asks Faulques. The stranger answers, ?Because I?m going to kill you.? This story transports Faulques to the time when he crossed continents to capture conflicts on film with his lover, Olvido, at his side. Until she walked into his life, Faulques muses, he had believed he would survive both war and women. As the tense dialogue between Faulques and his visitor continues, the stakes grow ever higher. What they are grappling with quickly proves to be not just Faulques? fate but the very nature of human love and cruelty itself. [img]http://bp0.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5-COX9qegI/AAAAAAAADmk/x7HgS0SeRvg/s400/20211237.jpg[/img] Not your typical boring diet book, this is a tart-tongued, no-holds-barred wakeup call to all women who want to be thin. With such blunt advice as, "Soda is liquid Satan" and "You are a total moron if you think the Atkins Diet will make you thin," it's a rallying cry for all savvy women to start eating healthy and looking radiant. Unlike standard diet books, it actually makes the reader laugh out loud with its truthful, smart-mouthed revelations. Behind all the attitude, however, there's solid guidance. [i]Skinny Bitch[/i] espouses a healthful lifestyle that promotes whole grains, fruits, and vegetables, and encourages women to get excited about feeling "clean and pure and energized." [img]http://bp0.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5-COX9qehI/AAAAAAAADms/OeFfoRTScTc/s400/23393280.jpg[/img] [i]Her Last Death[/i] begins as the phone rings early one morning in the Montana house where Susanna Sonnenberg lives with her husband and two young sons. Her aunt is calling to tell Susanna her mother is in a coma after a car accident. She might not live. Any daughter would rush the thousands of miles to her mother's bedside. But Susanna cannot bring herself to go. Her courageous memoir explains why. Glamorous, charismatic and a compulsive liar, Susanna's mother seduced everyone who entered her orbit. With outrageous behavior and judgment tinged by drug use, she taught her child the art of sex and the benefits of lying. Susanna struggled to break out of this compelling world, determined, as many daughters are, not to become her mother. [img]http://bp1.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5-COn9qeiI/AAAAAAAADm0/DayWpT9sKEo/s400/25291545.jpg[/img] The smartest eating choices--made simple! The secret to looking, feeling, and living better than ever is not by depriving yourself of the foods you love. It's by making the best choices in a variety of real-life situations. Based on the most popular column in both [i]Men's Health[/i] and [i]Women's Health [/i]magazines, [i]Eat This Not That [/i]is a comprehensive guide to what to eat at home, from the supermarket, even at a fast-food counter. Do you know why a hot fudge sundae is a good dessert option? Why potato chips are better than fries? And why Swiss cheese is [i]three times[/i] healthier than Cheddar? With this simple, illustrated guide to hundreds and hundreds of foods--along with the nutrition secrets that lead to fast and permanent weight loss--now you will! [img]http://bp2.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5-CO39qejI/AAAAAAAADm8/yIre75qOleo/s400/8483985.jpg[/img] And I've decided I'm going to locate this on my home bookshelf and reread it. I haven't read it since high school and I want to give it another look. I'm looking for something new to read as you can see from the mishmash of shit up there. Can any of you recommend a good non scary book?

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Curious
1.28.2008 - comments

What song did you pick as your first dance at your wedding? If your not married yet what song would you like? Also don't forget to submit questions for my 1000 post. I already have a few. You can submit via comment or email! Don't let me down for my 1000th folks!

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Checking In
1.28.2008 - comments

[img]http://bp1.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R53pFH9qeaI/AAAAAAAADl0/R6LjTSTStU0/s400/Photo+72.jpg[/img] Good morning. How are you? Yeah I've been missing all weekend. I would like to say I was off doing something amazing but I was umm, not. Lets see I cleaned a bathroom (yeah only one, I got to lazy to do the other), cleaned the kitchen, washed some jeans, ummm well yeah that's about it. Don't I look sexy this morning? Thats how Shannon looks after only a half a cup of coffee. You should see me after two. Yeah the sexy really starts roaring then. What is that behind me, hmmm yup lovely little burp cloth. Whats not pictured? That would be my enormous boobs covered in giant blue veins that just scream out THAT WOMAN IS NURSING A SMALL BABY. Well it's either that or someone drew blue lines on me with a marker. I'm too tired to really know the difference right now. Other things you can't see. My über sexy 7 year old Abercrombie jammie pants with no less then 10 holes right where the thighs are. You know how that is, when you put on some weight and your thighs rub together when you walk. You somehow wear a hole into the spot on your pants right where you actually need some fabric so as to not see my lime green granny panties sticking out from the holes in my jammies. Do you like my hair? I call this the unwashed, unstyled, unawesome hairdo. Am I going to shower before work? MMmm odds are, doubtful! If I showered then I couldn't drink another cup of coffee and play with the photobooth feature on my computer. Lets get real here, I have priorities and who needs a shower when I can just slap some deodorant and a hat on right? RIGHT? Oh check the double chin too. I know men only dream of waking up to this kind of sexy. This morning I'm going to try out some new Special K with red berries eggos I got. Only 80 calories. Funny huh. I won't eat cereal to save my life but I'll totally eat the cereal brand Eggo thingies. Isn't it also weird that I can't eat cereal because I'm afraid of the bug parts in it but I will eat cookies. Isn't cereal just smaller O shaped cookies? Tiny baby is up now. Must go get him from my warm snuggly bed then go change his diaper. Need to find slippers and sherpa clothes to go to his room as that room is FUUUREEEZING! [img]http://bp2.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R53teX9qebI/AAAAAAAADl8/UqP1frfSxLs/s400/Photo+79.jpg[/img] Okay we are back now. Must do some very important things, like staring at the calender on the wall. Notice the matching double chins. Codi's all HAI I'm all freshed faced and cute mom whats your deal? Do something about those bags under your eyes, and seriously mom can you maybe brush your teeth sheesh. Uh oh big headed boy has to go poo oop. Must go wipe second tush of the day. Wait, no mommy I not pinish pooping (plop) huh mama whats making noise in dere is dat me pinish pooping? Ahhhh I love being a mom! Okay its after 7 which means I need to get my ass in gear so I can be on time for work and what not. Adios amigos! [img]http://bp3.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R53ten9qecI/AAAAAAAADmE/7uxUCVEEKvc/s400/Photo+81.jpg[/img] Codi says, thats just my neck wrinkle it isn't a third chin mmmkay! Brandon says, when I'm older these will be my bedroom eyes. I'm going to be kicking a lot of ditzy high school ass when these guys are older aren't I?

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BIG CHANGES ARE COMING
1.26.2008 - comments

So I finally gave in and got one of those web host dealies. Then I [s]made massive threats and forced[/s] kindly asked my [url=http://www.pyropoptrt.com]computer nerd friend (I have permission to call him this, even though I totally think he is cool enough to be promoted to computer geek even if he doesn't think so)[/url] to build me a site. And even though I can be the [s]most difficult indecisive[/s] sweetest angel on the planet he agreed. Soooo in the next two weeks (read week and a half because Lee like 4 days has already passed) I will be debuting my very own brand new site. He promises me that if you use my old (current) link it will route you to my new fancy page (If it doesn't I'm going to send him lots of red mad smileys on yahoo) but alas I have faith. My new page is going to have those tabby thingies on top and those flikrmabobs and fancy links and lots of snap crackle and pop! Anyway like I said this site will reroute you but you may want to change the link after the site is complete. When the full change is made I will be located at misguidedmommy.com. Can't wait to show you all the new site! Like I said it should be up in about a week and a half (if his cat doesn't delete it all or something.) Don't forget to stop by and check out my account manager, aka [url=http://www.pyropoptrt.com]Lee the graphic designer guy's website[/url]. He is super talented and for a small fee will for sure hook up your site (just as soon as he is done with mine of course). [url]http://www.pyropoptrt.com/portfolio[/url]

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Lightening Up
1.25.2008 - comments

So my parents came by tonight to bring by Codi's new little chair that I forgot at work. [img]http://bp3.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5qqLX9qeTI/AAAAAAAADk8/CYERcWqueps/s400/DSCN4618.jpg[/img] I like my chair [img]http://bp3.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5qqLX9qeUI/AAAAAAAADlE/PbkBbY9LuU4/s400/DSCN4619.jpg[/img] So before my parents left, apparantly papa gave Brandon a Kit Kat. I tried to take it away and he broke down into the saddest tears I've ever seen so I said fine, because Papa gave it to you, you can have it. [img]http://bp2.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5qqCH9qeOI/AAAAAAAADkU/k5K85khHCwU/s400/DSCN4620.jpg[/img] He was sooooo happy to have it all he wanted to do was have me take pictures of his chogglet. [img]http://bp3.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5qqCX9qePI/AAAAAAAADkc/NtEFYZ8q6G8/s400/DSCN4621.jpg[/img] Codi was still kicking it in his chair [img]http://bp3.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5qqCX9qeQI/AAAAAAAADkk/ptWlp6rPNsE/s400/DSCN4622.jpg[/img] Look toys [img]http://bp0.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5qqCn9qeRI/AAAAAAAADks/xed4UC5p3BA/s400/DSCN4623.jpg[/img] Brandon smile...no I meant with out a mouth full of chocolate [img]http://bp0.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5qqCn9qeSI/AAAAAAAADk0/vCvPw_yWx4Q/s400/DSCN4624.jpg[/img] No clue what this face is [img]http://bp1.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5qpl39qeJI/AAAAAAAADjs/PkBVYbyLWac/s400/DSCN4627.jpg[/img] I feel a big smile coming on [img]http://bp2.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5qpmH9qeKI/AAAAAAAADj0/zunfOBmHYF4/s400/DSCN4628.jpg[/img] I LOVE MY CHAIR!!!!!!! [img]http://bp2.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5qpmH9qeLI/AAAAAAAADj8/wbdBQP-AnOI/s400/DSCN4629.jpg[/img] So he ate his Kit Kat and then he asked me to go lay with him. I laid down got all comfy and he did this. Dude I thought we were going to read books and watch Franklin. [img]http://bp3.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5qpmX9qeMI/AAAAAAAADkE/-FKiZj5xn1I/s400/DSCN4630.jpg[/img] So I hung out in there and finished Franklin so I could find out what happened with the fossil and he stayed like this. [img]http://bp3.blogger.com/_gVGPo7ZhrXY/R5qpmX9qeNI/AAAAAAAADkM/4A--OTcxb9k/s400/DSCN4631.jpg[/img] Anyway he doesn't fight with me as much about brushing his teeth while he is sleeping. The cutest part was how he was opening his mouth and making the motions we do while brushing, but he was totally passed out.

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